Here's to minna san who have been so loyal to Totchi and all the things that glitter around him. Thank you for reading, and please, do continue doing so! This part, especially to Kaoru x Toshiya fans. And since I'm not good in mentioning names, I won't do it here. But hey, this is to everyone anyway…thank you for reading. 

Part 28

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Ohayou gozaimasu! How was last night?!

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Dir en grey

The D boys

D'argent en cendre

…however you called it. It's the band with 5 guys playing their own kind of music…

There was Kaoru, the leader. Kaoru… the god of death. Kaoru, the serious one. The one with oozing sexual power, the ideal seme. There he was, in this particular morning, sitting on the edge of the long couch, looking smug.

Smug, yes, that smug, to be damned self-satisfied expression on his face, the pout and the slight smile…he surely had made full use of the last evening. Kaoru's eyes narrowed a little and there was just pure pleasure in them, dark and mysterious. Speaking of which, the boy who sat beside him looked a little confused.

Lemme introduce Shinya, the baby, the drummer, the stick. Literary, I mean. He dealt with sticks alright but now Shinchan had proceeded in making himself a stick too. What's the look on his face? Pretty Shinchan looked a little …blur. As if there was something in his mind spinning, and once in a while he would pout and giggled. What happened last evening?! Must be something funny! Must be something…different! Thrilling, maybe…

Which brought us to the little one next to Shinchan…

Kyo

La ~~la~~la~~la~~la~…… Geez, Kyo kun looked happy today. Look at that grin! And that flash in his eyes….hm………but he still looked as freaky as usual. Kyo was leaning back on the couch, mouth grinning widely, eyes gazing into space. Wasn't that freaky or what?!!!

Which brought us to the gazing into space mood…what's up Totchi?!

Were you still counting the stars that didn't glitter the way you wanted them to be? Why did you look so…stumped? The way you perplex staring at the ceiling…the way you sighed once in few seconds and the way you pout considerably showed you didn't really had fun last evening? Or maybe…it's some kind of realization that nothing's perfect? That everything couldn't go the way you wanted it to be? That if there was no risk, there was no gain…no pain no pleasure?

Speaking of which….Die! What's that pain look?!

Our beloved red head shifted in his seat, fidgeted once in a while, cleared his throat a little and looked away. Ne, why so nervous?!!! Something must had happened last evening!!! Something that had never happened before, something that meant a lot to Die kun…he could actually felt his heart pounding against his chest. But the pain…damn! It still made him grimace once in few seconds.

And-

"It's such a beautiful morning eh?!"

Kaoru suddenly exclaimed, getting up.

Shinchan: -_o

Kyo: =Q

Totchi: -_-

Die: >_<

Kaoru: *-*

"Hey! Kyo!!!" Kaoru pulled Kyo's leg and the singer slide down the couch

Kyo: O.o

"Wanna go for breakfast?"

Kyo: :D Sure…hehehe…I wan lime juice…hehehe…

Kaoru: ?_o

Kyo jumped up and down, grinned and pulled Kaoru's tail. The guitarist yelped and smack him hard, "Itai!!!! DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR!!!!!"

"Geez….so Totchi!" Kyo commented and ran out the room. Kaoru patted his head gently and ran after the little devil. 

Die: "Ouch…"

Totchi: "…why aren't the stars glittering?"

Shinya: "I still dun understand…"

*

"WHAT?!!!!!"

Kyo yelled on top of his lungs, then threw his ass on the couch and blinked rapidly

"Kyo…ne…"

"…"

"Kyo!!!!"

"NANI O SURU?!!!!"

"Kyo!!! So what?!!! So Kaoru fuck me, so WHAT?!!! So fuckin what?!!!" Die yelled back irritatedly and flushed

Kyo sighed loudly and shook his head, "Die…Die…DIE!!!! I have told you! I have WARNED YOU!!!!!!" he hissed.

"I KNOW!!!! But come on! What's the big deal?!"

Kyo looked at him blankly

"Sumimasen…you had just made Kaoru slept with all of us except of course, our baby the virginal Shinchan"

"…"

"Duh…"

"Oh…"

"Yeah!"

Die widened his eyes, "So you mean he'll go after Shinchan now?" he gasped and sat beside the younger man. Kyo rolled his eyes and bapped his head

"BAKA!!!!"

*

"Ma…"

"Hm?"

"I'm bored"

Toshiya grinned, "Oh so now Shinya san is bored!"

Shinya glared, "I'm human too you know. But maybe I hang around too much with you that I actually feel bored of composing!!!!" Shinya sighed frustratedly and put his pencil on the table. Toshiya grinned and played with his pencil, biting, chewing the end. Shinya giggled and kicked his long leg, "Stop it!"

Toshiya licked the pencil

"Ah! So unhealthy!!!"

Toshiya sucked the pencil

"…"

Shinya blinked twice

…

* 

Die strolled across the living room nervously and once in a while, he would throw a look to the younger man who sat on the couch, falling asleep.

"Kyo! Don't fall asleep yet!" the red head yelled frustratedly. The vocalist sighed aloud and opened his right eye, "Heh, why so nervous?" he chuckled. Die bit his lip, walked to him and sat on the couch. Kyo straightened his back and patted Die's lap (eech! How did I get here?!) The younger man looked up.

"Listen Die. You wanted this okay? I had warned you, Kaoru is dangerous but you didn't seem to care" Kyo started but then as Die opened his mouth to protest, he waved a hand and shook his head, "No, no. Listen to me. First of all, you started this whole thing yourself. You slept with Totchi, and that's it! No commitment, no string attached, alright. So what's the big deal…okay?" he looked at the red head, who pouted considerably. 

"You think just because Kaoru did it, you deserve the right to do it too. Okay, no problem. It's only for the sex, just that one night, fine" Kyo stopped and moved his hand to Die's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Then you and Kaoru, also, only just for the sex, just for that one night, fine. It's okay, no problem" the vocalist nodded. "But wait" Kyo made a long pause.

Die blinked and looked at him worriedly

"I had sex with Kaoru, few times…big deal" Kyo shrugged, "Kaoru had sex with Totchi, most of the time, carelessly…it's like…" Kyo looked at the bigger man, "Totchi and I could have threesome with him, and the next day it would be as if nothing happened" Kyo smiled at Die's reaction, "Seriously. You and Shinya, …you're like…" Kyo shook his head and gazed away, "Like very hard to approach, you know…" Kyo laughed.

Die shook his head

"And I wanted it to be that way, hard to approach, at least Kaoru can't have both of you" Kyo shrugged again, "I'm not being selfish or jealous…but Kaoru seems to have his own way, and he can get away with everything!" 

Kyo heard Die sigh but he continued

"Now that he's got you, the only one left, is Shinya"

Die sighed louder

"So now you're starting to get worried?" Kyo teased.

"Shut it okay? What do we do now?!" Die hissed and looked at Kyo confusedly. The smaller one laughed, "Hey! What do you mean, we? This has nothing to do with me!" 

"KYO!!!"

"Okay!!!! Okay, man! Don't shout!" 

"Man! He can't have Shinya!!! Shinya's first time HAS to be special! It can't be just….just…" Die stuttered, and Kyo looked at him, "Just what?" he asked, with a tone. Die bit his lip and shook his head, "Can't be just…just a one night stand!!!" the red head exclaimed. Kyo rolled his eyes and leaned back.

"Kaoru's going to do it with Shinya!" Die continued, "And he's gonna do it only ONCE!!!" the red head hissed, "It's not fair for shinchan!!! Kaoru can't do that!!!"

Kyo didn't make a reply

"Hey, …what-why so quiet?!" the red head realized.

"Die, get it right. YOU, are the one thinking one nightstands are okay. YOU did it only once with Kaoru and Totchi"

The red head's eyebrows twitched

"So why all the sudden, one nightstands aren't fair anymore?" Kyo asked calmly

"Because!!! It's Shinya's first time!" Die hissed aloud.

"Uh huh, wasn't it YOUR first time too with Totchi?!" Kyo raised an eyebrow 

>_< "MOU!!! It's different!!!!" 

"Which part of it?!!! WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?!!!"

Die gasped at the sudden outburst

"THIS has NOTHING to do with YOU!!!! NOBODY controls who, when and how many times you want to have sex with!! So why are you controlling Shinya?!!!!" Kyo stated firmly, "It is, I believe, NONE of your business!!!"

Die took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch, "But…but…I, I just can't see Shinya, with one nightstands! He has never had sex before!!!"

Kyo smiled

"And with Kaoru!!! NO way!!!!" Die made a face, "I'm NOT giving my Shinchan to HIM!!!"

"YOUR Shinchan?"

"…"

"YOUR Shinchan?" Kyo repeated

"…eh, I mean…Shinya…" Die looked at Kyo with slightly blushing cheeks and bit his lip, "I, I don't want that to happen! You know what I mean right?!!! I care about Shinya, I want him to have…have a special first time!!!" the red head calmed down a little, "I want Shinya to have a good impression on this!" Die came back to his sense. Kyo looked at him thoughtfully, studying his expression carefully.

"How do you want it to be then? How do you want Shinya's first time to be like?" Kyo asked, all the sudden, after a while.

Die bit his lip, thinking.

Kyo waited

"Love, lots of love…and care" Die finally replied, with a smile

Kyo crossed his legs and looked at Die, "Will you give him love then?"

Die snapped his head up and turned to Kyo

"Will you give Shinya love and care, Die?"

The red head blinked and then laughed, "Nani? ME?!!! Hah, please Kyo! Me and Shinya?!" he chuckled

Kyo studied his face longer, "Seriously, Die"

"…"

"Will you?"

"…"

Kyo didn't get any reply, and when they went out for a drink, they talked more and more, BUT not once, not even once, Die or Kyo himself touched the subject again. 

The question remained unanswered.

*

Toshiya tilted his head to a side as Shinya wrapped his arms around his waist. His head felt dizzy, they had been kissing for quite sometime, and the kiss was so demanding. So demanding that, the older one felt very dizzy, as if his head was spinning around. Shinya kept rubbing their tongue together, and it felt so good. But somehow, Totchi felt…

It wasn't right

The bassist pulled himself away and took a loud deep breath

Shinya gasped and looked at him confusedly.

Toshiya noticed how they were on the bed, sitting between Shinya's parted legs. God knew how they ended up in the bedroom. But Toshiya knew this one wasn't for him. Shinya, in contrary, seemed…eager.

"Toshi kun…?" he asked carefully.

Toshiya blinked , looked up, and smiled

"Shinchan…I don't think…"

"WHY?!" Shinya asked quickly, looking hurt, "You told me…"

Toshiya hushed him down and touched his shoulders, "Shinya…"

"You don't like me…? Why? What did I…"

"Shhh, Shinya. It's not you…" Toshiya gave a weak smile. And when Shinya quieted down, he held Shinya's chin up. 

"First time, have to be good"

"But, you're good!" Shinya replied

Toshiya laughed softly, "Shinya, …I want to kiss your lips, they feel so innocent, so …beautiful!" 

Shinya pinked a little as Toshiya brushed his lips with a finger

"But a kiss is what it takes to get to…everything" Toshiya spoke as soft as the way his finger brushed Shinya's cheek

The drummer blinked as the older man smiled and sat beside him, as if avoiding. But shinya knew Totchi wasn't doing so. So he waited and stared at the bassist, waiting for him to say something, anything. Toshiya licked his lips and sighed aloud. Shinya blinked and took a deep breath quietly, supporting his chin with a hand.

"Shinchan, you deserve to have better…" Toshiya whispered

The younger one looked surprise

"I feel that…I'm not right for you at all. I feel that…" Toshiya shook his head and his voice faded. "First time has to be very special, it has to be very right!" he continued hastily looking at Shinya, "Because first time is the first impression of everything. If it's bad then…it will stay that way forever…" Shinya looked at him worriedly. "Do you get what I mean?" Toshiya asked.

Shinya nodded

"If it's right, then it's special. If it's special then it feels so right!" Toshiya continued, smiling dreamingly to himself. 

Shinya tucked his fringe behind his ear, "Are you saying I'm not special?" he asked. Toshiya gasped and shook his head strongly, "Iie! Of course not!! But…" he stopped.

"Demo…?" the drummer asked.

"Shinya, …you deserve somebody much better than this silly hentai bassist okay?" Toshiya laughed and covered his cheeks with his palms, "I'm very bad" he giggled then bit his lip and placed both hands on Shinya's, "I really mean it" he gave a genuine smile. Shinya blinked and looked at him in surprise. Toshiya had never strike him as being…this way. 

"Why? I don't understand, I-" the drummer tried to talk about it but Toshiya placed a finger on his lips, "Shinya…" he looked into the younger one's eyes, "This is your first time, it will be your first time, you deserve somebody …" 

"Iie! If I tell you I want to do It NOW, will you still reject me?!" Shinya asked boldly. 

Toshiya sighed

"Shinchan, no. I can't. Besides, you're not doing it anyway!!!1" Toshiya gave a pout.

Shinya smiled sheepishly

Toshiya gave him a look, "See!!!! Hmph!" 

The drummer threw himself back to the bed and rolled over to the end, "Eh Totchi kun…I feel that you're lucky ne…didn't you say your first time was so special?" he gave a dreamy expression. Toshiya's expression changed, and he too, lay on the bed beside Shinya and gazed into space.

"Yeah…first time…" he murmured.

"It's special…" Shinya trailed off but he opened his eyes and turned to look at Toshiya, who smiled with his eyes shut, arms started to wrap around his own slender body. The younger one watched in disbelief

"So right…so good…mhhh…" Toshiya moaned and burst into laughters as Shinya tried to push him off the bed. "GET OFF you hentai!!!! NOT on MY bed!!!!!" Shinya shrieked and pushed him harder but the older one giggled more and clutched tightly on him, "Ne, Shinchan….why not???"

"Iie!!!! You're going to Mas-" Shinya stopped abruptly.

Toshiya raised an eyebrow, "Nani? Mas what?" he teased.

>.< "MOU!!!!!" Shinya whimpered.


"Hehehe…can't pronounce it? Come, lemme teach you! MAS-TUR-BATE, M-A-S-T-U-ITAI!!!!!!!!" Toshiya wailed as Shinya bit his arm hard, "Shinchan!!!! KICHIGAI!!!!!!" toshiya flapped his arms around to get Shinya off him and got up, aiming for Shinya's waist, "You want violence huh?! Fine! Here!!! Give you VIOLENCE!!!!" Toshiya hissed and started to tickle the drummer, who gasped aloud and started to giggle and whimper and shout at the same time.

"Totchi baka!!!! Gyah! Hehe, get over hehe me!!!!"

"Nya nyanya nya nya…"

Toshiya sighed, feeling enough of playing. So he got off the younger one and lay beside him, "Eh, Shinya. Remember this okay?"

"Nani?" Shinya replied half sulkily.

Toshiya took a deep breath and shut his eyes. Shinya waited and smiled as Toshiya did the same to himself. 

"First impression is the most important thing in the world…" he spoke softly, "So do it with the right person…it will be special if it's right. Then everything else will be right too, …and they will be precious…" he whispered in the end.

Shinya smiled and held Toshiya's hand, "I will…" he whispered back and felt Toshiya giving him a little squeeze on the hold. 

Toshiya was so lucky

His first time…was so right, thus so special.

The man, he treated him so gently, Toshiya felt like more and more…he treated Toshiya so caringly that for the first time in Toshiya's life, he felt so warm, the different kind of warm from home. He made Toshiya felt it's really okay to be with his own kind. He made Toshiya felt special, …and Toshiya would always remember…the way he touched, the way he kissed…the way he held Toshiya in his arms, again and again and again….

And Toshiya would never forget, how he looked into Toshiya's eyes, then he would smile, and he would stroke his hair oh so gently…and he would murmur, in such a deep husky voice that made Toshiya wanted to ear it again and again and again…

Totchi…

Toshiya opened his eyes

Totchi…

Toshiya had a smile on his face, the kind of smile that phrase longing, memory…passion…and something else…something Toshiya hadn't really figured out simply, because he didn't know he was feeling it. Right now, all he could think of, was the voice that called him …so tenderly, so affectionately, …it's lust, passion and care all in one…

Sweet thing…Totchi…

***

Ohkay, everyone should know where this is going right? I apologize for taking so long to write this, but I really can't write without having the mood, and the time. Gomenasai…I will try my very best next time. But really, minna san knows what's going on right? I guess it's predictable from here. I have dropped too many hints! For those like Puka, Yukimi and VM, this is lady7 no fikku! So obviously there's THE pair. But whether they get together in the end…I'm not telling ^^

Oh and please support me cuz I'm writing this lemon…halfway, unfinished. 

Lady7
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to be continued...