Part 31

***

If the young one were beautiful he would be the man created for the beauty he was staring at, right in front of him, lying beside him on the bed The shape of the face from the side, the nose, lips, the collarbone, and the chest... Nice, ...lovely, delicious... It was such an arousal just to THINK of Toshiya. And not to mention how soft and gentle and …smooth...the skin that he touched, felt, kissed and licked, sometimes sucked.

*

It was almost two when Toshiya sighed and stopped composing. He had finished the bass part while Shinya, Kaoru and Die were doing the recording in the studio. Kyo had gone out with his koibito since there's nothing he could do. They had already started doing recordings, but nothing was confirmed yet about the first single released. Kaoru had come up with a title for the album, called Macabre, yet Toshiya felt that everything was scattering around.

It wasn't as neat as Gauze…everything was with different feeling, different emotions, everyone doing their own thing…

Maybe it's because of Yoshiki san

Toshiya smiled, he felt as if they had graduated from Yoshiki san no college and now, they're doing their own project.

Ne, maybe one of Kaoru's songs will be the first single.

Toshiya sighed and put his pencil down. Lying back on the couch, he thought of the band. Shinya composed a song, but he had helped everyone in their songs. Die would have two songs, with good guitar riffs and very melodic. Kyo wrote all the lyrics, but him? He composed, well…he wrote the bass part and simply threw it to the others! Kaoru had FIVE! Toshiya wished he was like Kaoru. He wished he had Kaoru's drive, to write and write and improved and improved all the songs…

Kaoru's so great…everything about him is so great! He has a leader's personality, he has the ability to make others listen to him! He can gain respects from others…Toshiya thought while sighing. He really wished he could have a little bit of Kaoru's personality in him. That would be enough! Not to mention Kaoru's music. They were always full of mystery.

Toshiya smiled and muttered softly, "Like the man himself…"

Kaoru

So Kaoru could lead the band, and gained respect from others. So Kaoru could tame everyone down…and he composed beautiful, haunting melodies. And Kaoru had many different sexy, and charming poses in his repertoire. Along with good looks, alluring eyes, long silky hair, adorable pouty lips…

And he's good in bed

Toshiya felt like smiling cheekily. Now, THAT he knows!

Kaoru was more like a romanticist in bed. Lured and charmed, he could get almost everyone Toshiya knew to sleep with him! (literary yes, little did Totchi knows) He would stare deeply into Toshiya's eyes and kissed him slowly. He would part his lips and slipped tongue out to lick Toshiya's lower lip. And Kaoru was also a tease. Not the kind of tease Toshiya was himself, but Kaoru's teases could really drive Toshiya crazy!

Kaoru's touches…sometimes it was so gentle, yet other times it could be rough, so hot and passionate! His fingers were small but they were so burning! And Kaoru's mouth, Kaoru's tongue…Kaoru…Kaoru…

Toshiya opened his eyes and felt weird.

Why was he so …different?

Was it the stars that didn't glitter? If it was, then what did the stars have to do with Kaoru?!!

…

Ahh, Toshiya thought. Maybe it's the sex. Maybe he missed Kaoru's touches and kisses and holds.

Was it why the stars did not glitter?

Toshiya joined his eyebrows and thought carefully. Really…was it really Kaoru, the reason why he's so blank these days?

"But sex…is not everything!" Toshiya sighed aloud and looked up the ceiling. Sex was very important but it wasn't the MOST important thing in a relationship! (Get This One!) Yeah, there were many other things beside sex. The young man pouted and played with the pencil he had in hand.

"Maybe it's Shinya!" Toshiya exclaimed.

Shinya?

Yeah…little Shinchan had been asking him ten thousands questions about sex. That had made Toshiya talked about sex almost everytime, and that had also made Toshiya told Shinya his first time! The very first time he had sex! Toshiya chuckled weirdly, must be that! Yeah…it had gotta be that! So Shinya asked him about sex, and he kinda get the subject stuck in his mind! Toshiya shrugged and leaned comfortably on the couch.

"I know why I keep thinking about Kaoru now…baka shinchan!" Toshiya whined to himself. Now it's so obvious to him.

"Becoz I was basically talking about Kaoru!"

"Kaoru…Kaoru…Kaoru…"

Toshiya spoke nonchalantly and sighed. Then he looked around the apartment.

"KYO!!!!" he shouted

"…"

Toshiya whimpered and threw the pencil on the table, "Fine! Go and fuck your koi and ignore me!!!"

*

Shinya yawned prettily (^.^) and rubbed his eyes. His vision was already getting blurred. It was almost two or something and he was supposed to be in bed already!!! But no, he had to sacrifice his beauty sleep cuz Kyo made a late cameo with his koibito. And of course, Kyo just HAD to ask him to stay. I want Shinchan to give me his opinion about these lyrics. I was thinking about him when I wrote it.

Shinya glared into space

"Thinking about me my ass!" Shinya hissed. It was obvious to everyone, even Kirito; that Kyo was lying through his teeth just to make Shinya stay! And Kyo walked pass him three minutes ago, flashing his silly grin. Then Kaoru came along and suggested him to have a 'forty winks' like he would be able to do that with Kyo shouting his lung out next door! Ergh, what did he do to make Kyo did this to him?!!! Shinya questioned himself.

Nope he couldn't find the answer, so Shinya just couldn't be bothered. But then the door opened quietly and Shinya shut his eyes, pretending to have the 'forty winks' Kaoru was suggesting. He tried to find out who the person was, but the only thing he heard was the footsteps. The drummer breathed in and he opened his eyes.

The smell, cigarette

Well, it could be anyone. So he peered a little from his blanket and what he saw widened his eyes.

Some certain red head, smoking a cigarette, stretching his arms wide. Then the person put the stick on an ashtray on the table and took off his shirt. Shinya could see the contour of the body; the defined muscles, the smooth taut chest…the sensitive looking nipples, DARN! He so wanted Die's body!

No, he didn't want to look like Die

Shinya crinkled his nose seeing Die smoking

Certainly not healthy in his own sense.

Shinya rolled his eyes and closed his eyes, wanting to have a 'forty winks' as soon as possible. He hoped Die didn't notice him. It was dark and he was far away on the couch, near the corner of the room. Die placed himself on a chair near to the door and tried to finish the stick as soon as possible, maybe to start on a new one. It was a complete silent, which was weird because Kyo was supposed to do some vocals next door.

The red head sighed

Nevermind…

Die reached for his cigarette pack and took out a new stick but then he stopped his action abruptly.

…

Die kept the cigarette back to its pack and placed it on the table. Then his fingers ran through the messy red strands and the guitarist stared at the couch near the corner of the room. He knew somebody else was in the room as soon as he entered, he could sense the presence and he knew who it was.

The red head stared into the darkness, …and then he got up the chair

*

"Ahhhh…" Kyo moaned loudly. Kaoru sighed and massaged the area between his eyes while Kirito blinked and stared at the blond. Yamazaki chuckled and adjusted the microphone. Kyo glared at him.

"Kyo san, please don't play with the mic. You already spoiled two"

Kirito looked at Kaoru who shrugged in disbelief, "He tried to chew it once, and another time he was chasing Shinya the mic dropped and he stepped on it" Kaoru explained briefly. Kirito looked surprised, "You mean….Shinya kun?" he asked. "Chasing Shinya kun?" Kaoru laughed at this and shook his head, "Yeah, Shinya isn't like what it seems he is" he commented. The other man chuckled and nodded his head, "I suppose so…"

"Ano, I'm done…" Kyo walked toward them and sat between the two Ks. Kirito smiled and flung an arm to hold his koibito while kaoru shook his head and took out few score sheets and a disc. "Not so fast, Kyo chan"

Kyo hit him

"Thanks for that, this is your home work"

Kyo furrowed his eyebrows

"My song, finally done by the rest"

Kyo raised an eyebrow and had a look, "Rumors said that this would be our first single, stop it Kirito" Kyo replied, as Kirito tried to peer. Kaoru gave the Pierrot singer a glare, "Anyway, …maybe, maybe not" Kirito pouted and scratched his head while Kyo flipped through the papers. The other singer yawned and got up, "Ne, I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face" Kyo smiled and looked up, "I'll see you there then, I'm done here" he winked and Kirito gave him a peck.

Kaoru watched as he door was shut behind Kirito and smiled curiously at Kyo, "So someone's happy these days eh?" he teased. Kyo stuck his tongue out and placed the papers into his bag.

"So kaoru…tell me…what's this song about?"

"…"

Kyo waited

"What song?"

"This song!"

Kaoru pouted, giving Kyo a funny look, "What about this song?"

Kyo rolled his eyes and grinned, "Heh, you know…. rumors said this one's special"

"Kyo, you have been on the wall too much! There's nothing!" Kaoru replied but he was slightly blushing and Kyo noticed, "You're blushing kaoru san!" he said and that just made Kaoru blushed even more. The older man covered his face with his small palms and coughed a little, "Kyo, whatever Totchi told you…he's gonna die …"

Kyo grinned, "So what's it about?"

Kaoru silenced for a while before replying, "Something special…" he muttered

"How special?"

"….very special"

Kyo noted how Kaoru's eyes had gazed into space

"Some…one?" Kyo asked slowly

Kaoru didn't reply.

Kyo smiled and patted Kaoru's shoulder, "Heh, are you in love or something?"

Kaoru pouted and shook his head, "Iie"

"Come on!!!!" Kyo pushed, "Look at you Kaoru! I'm only Kyo, so please just admit it! At least, in front of me! How long have we known each other…?!" he exclaimed dramatically. Kaoru rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch, "Nothing…nothing…"

"Kaoru….ne…ne…I did tell you about my relationship with Kirito and you don't wanna tell me about this?" Kyo whined.

"…"

Kyo poked his arm

"Okay, fine!" Kaoru gushed.

Kyo smiled sweetly, "Yeah?"

Kaoru it his lower lip and smiled, "It's…a strong feeling. I mean, I don't know what it is yet, you know…" he looked at Kyo, "You get it?" he asked and Kyo quickly nodded, "Yeah, still in that phase of confusion and-"

"I'm NOT confused!" Kaoru exclaimed

"Okay! Okay! You're not confused…" Kyo followed

"I'm just…" kaoru stopped and Kyo eyed him funnily, "Confused?"

"NO!!! I'm Not!!!" Kaoru pouted

"Okay…" Kyo smiled to himself, "You're not confused…"

"It's…like …" Kaoru blushed, "Like the sun sets upon my heart…"

Kyo blinked

"I feel…warm"

Kyo looked at the older man in disbelief

"Each day feels like a brand new day, but this one is sad…sad brand new day"

"…?"

Kaoru sighed and smiled sadly, "it will take a long time to get this one done, you know…the sun keeps shining and it will always shine. There's no such thing as day or night, cuz the truth is earth rotates" Kaoru muttered in a low voice. "Boku, I want to see everything. I want to see day AND night. I want to see the sun, moon and stars. But right now, all I get is the sun. all I can see….is the sun"

Kyo looked at Kaoru confusedly, and he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"I can feel the sun blossoms in my heart, painfully shining on me, all the time" he stopped to take a deep breath.

"…"

Kyo didn't know what to say, and even if he did say something, it would sound stupid. He had never thought Kaoru kept such thing to himself. But then he would never imagine Kaoru could feel such thing, things about the stars…the moon, the sun…

…

"I see the sun…but someone…someone sees something else"

Kyo widened his eyes, hearing the 'someone'. So there was someone…a person. He licked his drying lips and held Kaoru's hand tightly.

"That's why, this song. So someone is able to see something else…maybe, maybe take a look at the sun in here" Kaoru pointed at his chest, "And maybe I can see whatever someone sees"

There was a long moment of silence and suddenly, the door opened and Yamazaki walked in with his colleagues. Kaoru turned to Kyo and smiled, "You have to go, don't let Kirito wait too long" he pulled his hand from Kyo. The vocalist didn't move, instead, he stared deeply into Kaoru eyes.

"Kaoru…"

"Go"

Kaoru blinked as Kyo leaned forward and gave him a kiss. Then as they parted, Kaoru smiled and cupped Kyo's cheek, "Kyo. I will be fine"

Kyo nodded and stood up, packing up his stuff.

"Ja"

Kaoru took out his cigarette pack and replied

"Oyasumi"

*

Shinya joined his eyebrows as he heard footsteps, and it seemed like Die was walking to him!

Eech, just pretend sleeping….just pretend sleeping…

>.<

Die stopped right in front of the couch. The he bent down and kneeled on the carpeted floor. Slowly, he pulled the cover down, and he could see Shinya's sleeping face. The red head bit his lip and traced a finger down the smooth cheek. Shinya's eyebrows twitched a little and Die smiled. The drummer pouted and opened his eyes.

"What do you want Die kun?"

Die stared down into Shinya's eyes for a long time, long enough for his mind to swirl around, thinking about Shinya's age of all the other things.

How young was he?

How innocent was that?

Shinchan…little Shinya

The drummer joined his eyebrows and pouted more, "Why are you staring at me?!"

Why was it so ironic? Everybody was so busy fucking each other and this baby, this baby …

The red head blinked, no. he didn't want this baby, his baby ended up like him, or Kyo or Toshiya.

Shinya mustn't sleep with Kaoru

But then…nothing could control Shinya.

Shinya blinked and looked up, "Die kun?" he sensed something was wrong.

Die looked at Shinya and touched his lips

"I want a kiss"

The drummer blushed, but he got up and stared into Die's sad eyes. It was dark, yes. But he didn't know Die since yesterday. He knew too Die well that he knew something was amiss. So Shinya bit his lip worriedly and moved his hand up to touch Die's cheek. The red head shut his eyes and took a deep breath. It felt so nice, such feminine fingers, so smooth and gentle.

When Die opened his eyes again, he felt Shinya's only inches away. The younger one parted his lips and gave Die a soft peck on the lips. The red head shut his eyes and felt the pouty lips with his, holding Shinya's hands. The drummer then broke their union but his eyes were still closed, his lips still parted slightly. Die took another deep breath and squeezed Shinya's hands.

"More…" He whispered in husky tone

Shinya kissed him the same way he did before

"Again…"

Shinya kissed him again

"Again…"

Shinya let go of the hold and wrapped his arms around Die's neck. The red head hugged the tiny waist and pulled Shinya close to him. The kiss was long. First it was lip kissing, lip to lip, parted slightly, feeling each other's lips with their own. But then Die snuck his tongue in and started to roam the younger one's mouth.

Shinya moaned, even Toshiya's kisses didn't feel this way

This is something new…

Die had hugged him so tightly that he could feel Die's heartbeat thumping against his chest.

Shinya felt the world spinning, spinning and spinning.

It was so confusing…

But when Die broke the kiss and pulled away, when he tucked Shinya under the blanket, gently stroke his hair and softly planted a kiss on his forehead, when Die walked out the room silently…Shinya had a smile on his lips.

And with that smile, he closed his eyes and few minutes later he had the 'forty winks' Kaoru had suggested.

***

to be continued...