MASK

by nezu

Dedicated to: the whole bunch of jrock-freaks I met at the animagic

convention, pukachan ^_^ thanks so much!, VM, MS, lamia-chan, schafi

aaaaaaand.....yk2-chan ^___^/

Part 8 ~ yume wo tachikirarete ikiteku dokusai shugi ni - "kurue" ~

Angrily one certain drummer paced through the studio, cursing silently

to himself. His oh so great mood was gone. He'd waited now for more

than one hour and still no sign of his band mates. Shinya was fuming.

How could they forget practice? Or did they forget to tell him they

didn't HAVE practice?

"I hate it....I hate them.....I hate HIM!"

Suddenly the wooden door sprung open, to reveal a very exhausted Kyo

and a grumpy Die, clinging to each other, the other from the loss of

breath from running the entire way to the studio and the other out of his

headache.

"Hello.....*breath*....Shin-kun...*breath*...", Kyo panted, trying to

smile.

The pretty drummer just glared at them, turned around and sat behind

his drums. How dare they come late together?

Kyo let his head hung. Shinya was angry. VERY angry. Because, he

suddenly realized, Die and he weren't the only one late. Toshiya and their

great leader-sama, were no where to be sees, too. - If they finally..... -

"Say, Shin-chan, where's leader-sama and Toshiya-kun?", Die asked, as

he too didn't see them anywhere, and plopped down onto a chair,

resting his aching head in his palms and massaging it slightly.

"I'm asking myself that for more than ONE HOUR you .....ah, forget it!"

"Oh come on....we are sorry, we're late, really!"

"So?"

"Yes....now come on...don't be that......that cold!"

"I'm not cold Die-san, I'm angry!"

"....."

"Gomen nasai Shinya-kun, it wasn't our intention to be late.....but, the

night had been long and I kinda forgot about practice......soo.....",

Kyo tried to excuse themselves, begging the drummer to forgive with his

puppy-dog-eyes.

"I see......", Shinya finally sighed and brushed some of his bangs out

of his eyes. Inside he could feel his organs twitching. - So Die was

out, nee? With Kyo-kun?.....or with one of his girlfriends??.....what are

you thinking about Shinya? That's none of your business! -

"Well.....what are we going to do now?", Die cut in.

"What do you mean by that Die-kun?"

"You don't believe the two of them will actually show up, do you

Kyo-kun?"

"Umm.....no."

"Okay.....so what are we doing now? We can't practise with two members

absent, right?"

"No, I don't think we can........well......how 'bout going to a café?

I'm sure you could use one, nee Die-kun?"

"Shut up Kyo-kun!", the red-head hissed. "But, I guess you're

right....let's go for café! Shin-chan, you coming?"

Shinya shook his head. "No, I...."

"Oh great, so let's go Shin-chan, Kyo-kun!"

And in the next minute the drummer was dragged by a happy Die and a

snickering Kyo.

Slowly opening his eyes, Kaoru woke up. After sensing Toshiya beneath

him sleeping soundlessly, he watched the beautiful man's face. It was so

peaceful, so calm.....so angel like.

Kaoru couldn't tear his gaze away.

How long had he dreamed of waking up right next to this beauty, how

long had he dreamed of watching him sleep, like that? Forever it seemed.

And now it was finally true.

But how long?

Bitterness washed over Kaoru's handsome face. He knew that this was a

one time. Maybe....maybe if Toshiya had liked it there would be a chance

to do it again sometime, but......it simply wasn't enough. It had been

a bad idea, he knew it now. He should have never ever thought about

it!

But the idea had been so inviting.

Damn it all. Why couldn't it be like he wanted it to be?

Kaoru shut his eyes close and clenched his fists. He should go now.

He'd been staying for too long already. Toshiya would wake up soon and he

wouldn't like it finding him still here, he was sure.

Slowly, very slowly, Kaoru got up, trying to be as quiet as possible

and not to wake the younger man yet. He searched for his crumpled clothes

and put them on. Before he left the room, he glanced back, absorbing

every feature of the sleeping form in the bed, burning it into his memory

to never forget it.

Then he left.

Shutting the door behind him and getting out of the apartment into the

fresh air. He could see it was a bright day. But for him, the world

could have been black and he wouldn't have cared. All that mattered was,

that he left the one he loved......and he couldn't do a single thing

against it.

Cold.

It was cold.

That couldn't be!

The hand brushed over the sheets once again.

Cold.

Eyes snapped open and glanced at the empty place.

He was gone.

Toshiya closed his eyes once again and vigorously shook his head. No,

that couldn't be. Sure Kaoru was just in the kitchen or in the bathroom.

Sure he was. He didn't leave.

But in his heart the bassist felt that he had. And for the hundredth

time he cursed himself. He was such an fool. Of course Kaoru hadn't meant

it that way. Kaoru hadn't meant he loved Toshiya, no, he'd just meant

he'd lusted after him! And he'd thought.......

- Fuck -

How could he have been so stupid? He knew that Kaoru wasn't gay, nor

bisexual....sure he just slept with him because he needed it. And who

was better to use than he? After all, Kaoru thought about him already as

a slut, so it was no wonder he had come to him.

Coldness crept towards his heart and Toshiya curled himself up in an

tight ball. Tears flooded over his cheeks and he buried his face into

his arms.

- Stupid Toshimasa.....stupid -

"Daisuke, let GO of me!", Shinya growled, fighting against the strong

hold on his wrist. Being close to Die wasn't the best idea in his

current state of emotions. Not at all.

The red-head smiled. That was his old Shin-chan, always up to fight

with him. "No, I don't think so, nee Kyo-kun?"

"'Course not! We're going to the café with you Shinya-kun whether you want or

not!"

Shinya swore under his breath, but let himself be pulled by Die.

Although his mind and heart raced like crazy, he couldn't do anything

against it. He felt comfortable.

Finally entering the café, the three sat down and ordered something to

drink. Of course Die got an really black coffee, for his hangover was

still aching in his forehead. Kyo, strangely, ordered some coke and

Shinya plain water.

"Sooo......."

"......."

"Where......where have you been yesterday night?"

Die and Kyo nearly choked on their drinks.

Shinya blushed and quickly hid his face from his friends. "I'm

sorry......I didn't mean to be curious........."

"Nee Shinya-kun, that's okay, we just weren’t expecting it, I guess, nee

Die?"

Die nodded, still astonished. "Well....if you really want to know

Shin-chan...?"

"Hai....I mean, if you don't mind......that is...."

The both chuckled. "No no...not at all!"

"......"

"I guess that means I'm on?" Kyo grinned. "I've been walking through

the streets as suddenly my help was needed from an oh so poor creature

who talked absolute nonsense and now probably can't remember one bit!"

"Geez Kyo-kun, don't be so mean! I remember clearly what I said! I was

just drunk for goodness sake!"

"You've been drinking?", Shinya cut in, his hazelnut eyes wide.

"Umm...well....yes?...."

"Not just drunk, but UTTERLY drunk!"

"Why?"

Die's face fell and he got serious. "You know why Shinya....."

"........I don't believe you......you wouldn't get drunk because of

me!"

"I would and I was!"

".........I've had enough from you and your stupid lies! Don't you see

they hurt me? Please stop it! Just shut up and forget that all

happened, okay?! I don't wanna hear it again!", Shinya suddenly shouted,

jumping up from his chair, making it hit the ground with a loud crash. His

face was flushed and his eyes brimmed with tears. He forgot about everything but

Die and him.

"I......"

"Yamete Die!", Shinya cut him off and then the frail man turned on his

heels and stomped out of the café.

comments: urgh.......well......I know this is supposed to be an toshiya

x kaoru fic but somehow I get this scenes with die x shinya in my mind

and......well....^^;;; anyways I'm happy!!! *hummesasong* I just got

back from an convention with an cosplay and I went as kyo

^__________^/!!!! And I met soooooo much others! Two hide, kengo, kirito, kyobatsu,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand aaaaaaand aaaaaaaaaaaand.......fu fu

fu......*isjumpingaround*

I thought about loading the photos on my newly build homepage ^___^;; (

yeah, I got one too, although I don't understand much from it! )

If you want, visit it, neee?? I'll add the pics asap!

http://home.nexgo.de/ne/nezu_chan/menu.htm

oh, and the quote today means:

~ dreams severed, living under dictatorship rules - "go mad" ~