MASK

by nezu

Part 9 ~ oni no inu ma ni jimen ni hayaku ochiyou ~

- I'm so stupid.....I should have known.... - Toshiya pondered, his

chocolate eyes shut deeply. After some time crying he calmed down a

little. Not because he wasn't upset anymore, no he still was, but there

were no more tears left and he was too exhausted to even think straight.

His head ached and he was cold, so cold. Toshiya felt lifeless, except

from the pain in his heart and head which was telling him he _was_ alive.

Why had he thought Kaoru might feel something for him, as he kissed

him yesterday? It was all fake.

Of course it was fake, Kaoru would never like him. He'd said more than

one time he hated him.

And each time it had hurt like hell.

But yesterday....Kaoru had been so nice, comforting and shy....

- That was not the truth.....Kaoru maybe played this because he wants

to keep me in the band for each price! Maybe he was just afraid I would

leave after all, so he decided to fuck me....-

Toshiya cringed at his own thoughts. That couldn't be true. No! The

purple head never would do such a thing just because he might leave.

- So he was in need...? -

This seemed to be the most natural thing. Kaoru maybe hadn't had much

dates lately, so he had this desire and couldn't think straight! The

blue-haired man sighed desperately and rubbed his face with his ice cold

hands.

- Why can't he like me? -

- Because you're foolish, easy like a slut....that's why! -

- I hate myself! -

- I hate him! -

The frail looking man walked through the streets, ignoring the

passengers who watched him curious, ignoring some screeches from fangirls who

recognised him. He furrowed his eyebrows, anger boiling inside of him

with something else. Something he was afraid of. Something he didn't

want. Something, he was angry to feel.

- I HATE him!! - he tried to convince himself, but failing miserably.

Shinya angrily kicked some empty coke can out of his way, not caring if he

hit someone with it. He wasn't even watching where he was going.

- Stop thinking of him Shinya! He's just teasing you and you know that!

He isn't being serious! He can't be! -

- But what if it's true what he says? -

The drummer shook his head, smiling bitterly. No, no, that would never

happen! Not in a lifetime!

- But what IF? -

- It's NOT and you know that Shinya! -

- You are not answering me! -

"YAMETEYA! It's NOT! It can't be!", the young man shouted in rage,

making some people staring at him idly. He didn't care very much.

- But what _IF_? You know Die sounded very serious and hurt! -

- He was NOT, because it's NOT TRUE! -

- YOU think so, but WHAT IF YOU'RE WRONG? -

"Come on, it’s getting embarrassing....", Shinya said, grinning

ironically. "Oh well, I guess I'm getting mad, I'm not only talking to

myself, I'm discussing my love life!", he muttered to himself quietly.

- Love life? -

- ....... -

- You said 'love life', so you love him? -

"IIE!", he announced shocked, but blushed deeply. No, that couldn't be,

could it? NO WAY!

- Shinya loves Die! Shinya loves Die! -

- NOOOO!!!! -

- ....... -

"He doesn't believe me STILL!"

Kyo watched his friend pace in front of the bench he sat. They'd gone

out in the streets and finally found a park where they stopped by a

bench. Since then, Kyo glanced at his wristwatch and read [11:23] so they

where here since 20 minutes already, the red-head wouldn't stand still.

It was driving him crazy. Well, it would, if he hadn't been crazy for

so long already. Kyo groaned.

"Of course not! You say you love him and that he's girlish in the same

moment! I wouldn't believe you either!"

Die stopped dead in his tracks. ".....really?"

"YES!"

"Oh....and what should I DO now?" And he started pacing again.

The little vocalist simply groaned louder and let his head fell

backwards, where it hit against the bench, hard. "ITAI!"

"Kyo, can't you be a BIT quieter? I'm THINKING!"

".....I didn't know you can think Die!", the vocalist murmured to

himself, rubbing the aching spot on his head.

"WHAT?"

Okay, so the red-head HAD heard him. Kyo sighed. "Nothing, nothing!"

Die eyed him, but kept it at that. He was too much in thoughts for that

now. So Shinya didn't believe him, huh? Was it because he teased him so

much like Kyo said? And if yes, what should he do then now? How could

he make Shinya to believe?

- Should I stop teasing him at all? -

But that would make Shinya suspicious, wouldn't it?

"Come on Die, stop walking in circles and sit down, you're making me

crazy!"

Surprisingly, Die followed Kyo's instructions and sat down on the

bench. "I just don't know what to do Kyo-kun.....I just don't know....."

Kyo sighed.

Kaoru entered the studio, wearing a cold and emotionless mask on his

handsome face. He'd decided not to show any sign of hurt, although it ate

him up inwardly. For him, it was the most cruel thing in the world to

see Toshiya standing on his usually place, bass in hands and smiling

cheerfully. How could this man be so happy after all what had happened?

- I told you he doesn't care about you like you do about him, that's

why! The whole night was nothing but a good fuck to him! -

Was it so? Well, it seemed like it was. Kaoru bit his lips in

frustration and hurt. This morning he'd forced himself to stand up and go for

practise. He hadn't wanted to see Toshiya again.....but what could he do?

After all, Toshiya was in the same band as he, and he surely didn't

wanted the band to suffer just because of his own stupid feelings.

Walking over to the others he greeted them politely, while putting out

his guitar from it's case and stringing it softly.

- You can do it Kaoru......just don't get near to him or something like

that! -

"Which song first?", Kyo asked, trying to ease the thick tension

between his band members this morning.

"How 'bout JEALOUS?", Die suggested, watching Shinya squirm on his

chair from the corner of his dark eyes.

- How ironic! - Toshiya thought, grinning sarcastically. He'd seen

Kaoru's cold face. In his eyes it seemed like the leader was disgusted. -

With me? With him for sleeping with me? Or is he just in a bad mood? -

"Well.....if you like, let's begin with JEALOUS!", Kaoru agreed with

the red-head and soon the melody and Kyo's voice flooded the air.

comments: ^_^;;;; weeeeeeeell, I'm in a HAPPY MOOD today !!!!!!!!

*pplstepbackwithafraidlookontheirfaces* I got my DRIVING LICENCE last

tuesday!!!! ^_________________^/ *happilyjumpingaround*

And, I just saw VM has had birthday!? On the 29th ??? Anyways, O

TANJOUBI OMEDETOU GOZAIMASU, nee?

Quote:

~ while the demon isn't there go quickly down to the ground ~