Room 304, Diety Hall

Author: Yukimi2 yukimi2@yahoo.com

Dedicated to: Lady 7 (yk2 pats L7 on the shoulder…ne, it’ll get better…)

Comment: Boo-hoo ;_;

Episode 13: Goodbye, My Shin-chan I {;_;}

Kyo angrily stomped to his dorm room. He just got back from Math recitation with a paper in hand.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!

He gripped his head and tugged tufts of blonde hair out of sheer frustration. He did not get a good grade on the last recitation quiz, which was bad news since fall quarter was almost over; it also means that he doesn’t have much of a chance to raise his grade. The only way he can pass is to do really well on the final, which is an impossible option to execute, especially since Sugizo deosn’t help his classes any. Majority of the students show up to recitations just to check out the pink head, and Sugizo shows up the look sexy and flirt with everyone. It’s a wonder how he was appointed a Math TA. Hyde and Kyo show up because there was no where else to turn to for help. Hyde always listened intently at the TA’s explanations, but they never made sense. Hyde was just fickle ^^; Unlike his friend, Kyo never listened during class, he simply sat there and slept.

But today, Kyo desperately needed help. Finals is next week. The short man gritted his teeth, remembering what happened at recitataion that day…

*Flashback*

Sugizo finished writing the equation on the board and turned around to face the calss. "Understand the solution?" He purred.

The entire class nodded absently in unison, except for Kyo, who rolled his eyes irritatedly.

Sugizo sat on a desk and crossed his legs on purpose, causing the skimpy leather shorts to hike up and expose more thigh.

"Good. We’ll move on to the next section, which will most likely be on the final. Anybody have questions in the homework for section 5.7?" He smiled feraly.

The class shook their heads, not paying attention to Sugizo’s shorts than to his words. Kyo, who perked up hearing the word "final," began to search for homework problems.

He raised his hand. "Question number 15 on page 123!"

Sugizo raised an eyebrow. "My, my…Kyo’s actually participating."

Kyo scowled. ~Not that anyone in this fucking class pays attention…~ he thought.

"Hmmm.." Sugizo frowned cutely. "It seems I forgot my book at home. Kyo, Please come up here and write the problem on the board."

Kyo sneered but went up anyway. He held his book on one hand and picked up a chalk with the other. He started writing the problem hastily.

Sugizo smiled. "Sumimasen, Kyo-kun. The people in the back can’t see. I think you should write the problem a bit higher."

~Why don’t’ YOU raise your ass a bit higher!~ Kyo fumed, but did what he was told. He wrote the problem as high as he could and set the chalk down.

"Are you sure you wrote the problem right?" Sugizo coaxed.

"Dude! It’s right!" Kyo snapped.

Sugizo smiled. "You may be seated. Thank you, Kyo." He winked, then craftily snaked an arm around the shorter man’s body and quickly grabbed Kyo’s ass.

Kyo yelped in surprise and jumped ten feet from shock. The class laughed at him as he turned bright crimson. Kyo turned and glared at the TA, who was giggling at Kyo’s predicament.

Sugizo ruffled Kyo’s hair. "Aww…poor kawaii Kyo-chan!"

Kyo’s eyes twitched. Ka…wa…ii…. KAWAII??!?!?! No one calls Kyo ‘cute!’ Before Kyo could make a comeback, the bell rang.

*End Flashback*

Kyo felt he should be greatful. That was the last recitation of the quarter. He was never going to see that damned slut of a TA.

"He should teach Slut Studies 101 instead of MATH!!" Kyo grumbled. He suddenly had flashbacks of Sugizo laughing at him. Kyo threw his papers on the ground and stomped on it repeatedly.

"Kyo, what are you doing?"

Kyo stopped. "Oh, hi, Die…" Kyo picked up his folder and fidgeted embarrassedly, "Um, nothing. I was just, heh-heh, exercising…"

"Oh, OK.." Die said.

Kyo joined his eyebrows. Normally, Die would make fun of him and embarrass him even more. Something must be up!

"Ne, Die, is somethin’ up?"

"Huh? Oh, it’s nothing…" Die opened the door to his dorm. "A-ano…Kyo…Shinya’s still asleep on my bed, could you take him to his bed? I’m gonna be late for practice."

"EH?" Kyo exclaimed, grinning. "You guys slept together last night?! Shinya must’ve been really drunk!"

Die frowned. "Haha. Funny, Kyo."

The red head and the shorter man entered the dorm. Kyo noticed how quiet and absent-minded the red head seems to be. It wasn’t particularly unusual, everybody has their days. But no matter how tiring, depressing, or frustrating a predicament got, Die always had a smile on his face.

Kyo wanted to ask Die what the problem is, but Die already grabbed his football necessities and left. Kyo walked to Die’s bunk. Shinya was still asleep. It was already afternoon; Shinya must’ve consumed too much alcohol for his tolerance level. The shorter man couldn’t lift Shinya, so he just dragged him across the floor instead ^^; Eventually, Kyo got Shinya to his own bed. The younger man hugged the pillows lovingly and began to mumble inaudibly.

Kyo shook Shinya after he noticed the time. "Dude! Wake up! You’ll miss music class!"

"Hnn..Yoshiki-sama…"

"Yes! That’s right! Prof. Yoshiki will kick your ass!"

Much to the shorter man’s dismay, Shinya turned the other way. "…Yoshiki-sama…Aishiteru…"

Kyo widened his eyes, then snickered. So that’s how Shinya feels about Prof. Yoshiki. The shorter man couldn’t wait to tell the gossip to the others.

*****

Kaoru felt a nudge on his shoulder. He pouted and buried his face deeper into the soft feather pillow. He had a splitting headache and he wasn’t in the mood for anything. Then again, he was never in the mood for anything when someone disturbs his beauty sleep. The nudge came again. Kaoru ignored it and pulled the covers over his head. Suddenly, his covers were pulled away. Someone grabbed his ankles and pulled him off the bed.

"OW!!" Kaoru landed flat on his ass, but the gesture woke him up. Kaoru stood up, rubbing his sore butt. "Totchi! What the hell was that for?"

Toshiya couldn’t help giggling. "You ought to thank me. It’s time for your Music Class."

Kaoru jumped. "Holy shit! I’m gonna be late!"

Toshiya tried not to laugh.

Kaoru glared. "Glad you find this funny." He ran into their small, walk-in closet and quickly changed from his alcohol-stinking clothes to fresh clothing. Once he got out the closet, Toshiya immediately handed him his jacket. He quickly began to button up his jacket, but the fact that he was going to be late for an important lecture caused him to be shaky.

"Dammit! Forget the buttons!" He muttered.

"Kaoru!! It’s freezing outside! Here, let me." Toshiya slowly buttoned up Kaoru’s jacket then smoothed it out. "You always get up looking like a slob! Put more effort into your physique, Kao-kao! You need to use your charm to lure your pretty boy into your mousetrap!"

Kaoru frowned. ">< Totchi…"

Toshiya grabbed a comb then fixed Kaoru’s hair. "There. All set. Seriously, you should thank me."

"Heh! Maybe later." Kaoru began to put his shoes on.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

"I’ll get it." Toshiya said. "Moshi moshi? Hai, Toshiya desu."

Kaoru got up and opened the door, ready to leave, but….

"Hakuei?" Toshiya exclaimed. {*gasp*}

The purple head froze in the doorway.

"Where were you? I waited and waited at the café! I was so WORRIED!"

Kaoru tried listening in to Toshiya’s conversation, not because he was nosy and curious, but because he was a bit concerned about his roommate.

Toshiya’s voice became softer and softer. "N-ne. You should have called! I dialed your cell but it was off! I left so many messages on your machine!" Pause. "Then why didn’t you call me back! I want answers, dammit!" Toshiya’s voice was starting to tremble. The blue head gripped the phone chord as an attempt to keep control. "Hai….hai…OK…I’ll be there. Ja…" Toshiya hung up slowly and stared at the phone for a minute. Without turning around, he said. "Kaoru, you’ll be late for class."

Kaoru slowly walked up to the blue head. "Daijoubou?"

"Daijobou, Kao-kao." Toshiya softly said. "Hakuei said that---."

"Totchi." Kaoru put a hand on Toshiya’s shoulder. "You don’t have to tell me."

There was a moment of silence when Toshiya lifted his head up to look out the frosted window. Then he sighed. "You know………… Everyone else tells me about their relationship problems like I know what I’m talking about, but in reality, I can’t even handle my own problems. I’ve had several unhealthy break ups before, and I bear it outside with a masked confidence. Inside, I am like a shattered mirror with no one to patch it up with.

"…. I have always been the ‘I-can-get-any-guy-I-want-Toshiya’ to everyone’s eyes…. To break that image seems to be a blasphemy or a cursed sin. I-I guess that’s what images do to people. They judge with what they see rather than how the person feels…. or maybe people just see what they want to see … Strange, ne? You’d think we’d be done with this kinda stuff in high school, but you realize that it will carry on with you in some form and some degree the rest of your life…."

The blue head turned to look at his roommate. "For some odd reason….I feel so comfortable talking to you about it. Probably because you don’t gasp or gawk like anyone else at my breakdowns; you just sit quietly,support me, and lift my spirits. Please, Kaoru. Don’t feel guilty that I tell you about my personal life. I don’t seek for your advice in matters. I just want someone to listen to me for once."

Kaoru took a moment for Toshiya’s words to digest in his brain. It was something he never knew about the blue head. About how he tries to hide his real self from others. The purple head gave a sincere smile. "Alright then. Tell me."

Toshiya took a deep breath. "You know Hakuei is a college drop out, right? But he owns his own small record label close to campus. Apparently, he had some emergency exec-meeting out-of-state that could make him a producer of some popular band, so he wasn’t home. Hakuei wants to make it up to me though. So, he’s making me dinner at his place tomorrow."

Kaoru bit his lip. He was skeptical about the entire exec-meeting thing. If that was the case, why didn’t Hakuei call Toshiya beforehand? And if Hakuei was excited and proud to be a potential band producer, then whouldn’t the first person to hear about it be the man that he loves? But Kaoru didn’t say anything about his suspicions.

"Ne, Kaoru." Toshiya started. "What do you think about that person from the café?"

"I don’t know what to think, Totchi. The person could be anybody. But the best person to ask about it is Hakuei himself."

Toshiya sighed. "I wish it was that easy. I mean, what do I say: ‘Hey, Hakuei! You fuckin’ other people besides me?’"

"Well, you could start off by asking if he goes to the café often. And then ask if he comes alone or with company."

Toshiya started chewing on his lip. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking too much. He had better things to stress about. Besides, thinking too much and not trusting one’s partner leads to relationship crumbles. At least, that’s what they preach in magazines and talkshows. The blue head plopped himself on his bed, causing it to creak and groan from the sudden force.

"Gomen, Kaoru. I detained you from your class. You should go before it ends. I’ll be alright."

Kaoru sat on the bed. "Nah…screw Prof. Yoshiki {I’m sure Shinchan would like that ^_^ ~Yk2}. It’s almost done anyway."

"Kaoru, you know how Prof. Yoshiki is…"

"C’mon, Totchi. Let’s stop moping around here." The purple head got up with a bright beam on his face. "Let’s go out to eat!"

"EH?!?!?"

Kaoru gripped Toshiya’s ankles and pulled him off the bed. He laughed. "That’s the thanks you get for waking me up today!"

Toshiya pouted. "MOU~~!" He threw a pillow at his roommate and giggled.

*****

"I don’t believe this!" Shinya said to himself. He stood in front of an opened door to an empty lecture hall. Music 366 was done. He missed class and missed speaking to Prof. Yoshiki. Worst of all, he didn’t even get his paper from Die. Shinya leaned on the doorframe. He felt like crap. That was the worst hangover he’d ever had in a long while and it didn’t feel pleasant at all.

Shinya slowly walked out of the building with his head held low. If getting his composition back was this much of a feat to overcome, he’d be better off rewriting the entire thing.

Shinya passed by the small university stadium in gloom when he heard cheers from that area. He looked up and saw a group of football players coming out from practice. Shinya glared when he spotted a big tuft of red hair poking out of the crowd. With his lips pursed determinedly, he stalked over to Die.

"Die!" He called out.

Die stopped and turned around, his other teammates leaving him behind. His face fell after he saw the pretty boy in front of him. "oh, it’s you…"

Shinya raised an eyebrow. What did the guy mean by ‘oh.’ ? "I need my composition back."

"What composition?" Die mumbled and stared at the ground. He wasn’t in the mood to be bothered, especially with what happened last night.

Shinya joined his eyebrows, slightly perplexed at the attitude Die was projecting. That was strange. Usually, the red-head would avoid answering by teasing him ceaselessly or switching subject matters. What was more strange is the gloomy air that surrounded Die’s presence instead of his usual jubilant one. And what happened to that irritating mischievous smile of his?

"Die, is something wrong?" Shinya couldn’t help asking. He had to admit, he is a *little* worried about the jerk.

"It’s nothing." Die avoided the younger man’s gaze. He put his hands in his pockets and began walking slowly away. "Gomen. Gotta go."

Shinya bit his lip. Something is definitely wrong. "Die! WAIT!" He caught up to Die and walked along side him. "I know something is wrong."

"Shinya, I’m sure you have better things to do than to talk to me." Die walked faster.

Shinya stubbornly kept up. "Why don’t you just tell me what’s bothering you?" The truth is, the bishounen caught a hint that Die was upset because of him, but he didn’t know the reason exactly.

"You wouldn’t wanna know." Die grumbled.

"DIE!!" Shinya protested and grabbed the older man’s arm.

Die shrugged him off and whirled around angrily. "You really want to know? HUH?!?!?"

Shinya nodded reluctantly and backed away involuntarily. He was scared of Die’s menacing tone of voice. He’d never seen him so angry and upset and…and….what is that look in his eyes…….

…hurt?

"Well, let me tell you it’s none of your business and not your goddamned concern!!!" Die yelled. "Why don’t you go FUCK your favorite lecturer and LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

Shinya winced. ~How…how did he---?~

He didn’t know what to say to the red head, so he stood there frozen on the spot as he watched Die walk away with slumped, but angry, shoulders. Though the bishounen’s face was expressionless, his insides felt a wave of a million emotions.

He felt angry. For being yelled at.

He felt scared. Again, for being yelled at.

He felt like crying. But he doesn’t know why. He never cried. No one ever made him cry. Shinya DOESN’T cry. It is a sacrilege engraved in stone. A profanity! A curse!

The young man bit his lip until it bled to keep his emotions from seeping through. Though no tears formed, his eyes were gleaming with moisture.

*****

Die put one foot after the other, thinking and thinking and thinking. Damn. He never used to think this much before. He turned back around. Good. Shinya wasn’t in sight and he wasn’t following him. He continued to walk some more. He didn’t know how much time has passed, let alone where he is going. All he knew is he wanted to get away. Get away from the painful torture he couldn’t help but feel. Get away from the only human being that has ever bewitched him to such emotional extent.

Die thought about himself. He is popular, good-looking, and charismatic. He knows many pretty girls and boys that he could grasp and wouldn’t they hesitate to be with him. And yet, why does he have to love someone who hated him with equal passion?

~Why, Shinya? Why can’t you just love me back?~

Die leaned on a lamp lost and hit his forehead on it. He felt so worn out from his depressed state. He really needed to recover from this moodswing before the game on Saturday. The football team has their last game that weekend. Without Die’s strength, they’d be worse off than the losing streak they already are now.

"Eh? Die, is that you?"

Die looked up. "Kaoru? Toshiya? What are you doing here?"

Toshiya spoke up. "We’re headed to Campus Steakhouse because Kao-kao’s too cheap to take me to a REAL restaurant."

Kaoru frowned. "Hey! If you want to go to a ‘real’ restaurant, you pay!!"

"Ne, Die! Wanna join us?"

Die bit his lip. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for a night out.

Toshiya sensed Die’s gloomy air. ~Hmm… what happened to the happy-go-lucky-Daisuke?~ Toshiya nudged Kaoru with his elbow.

"Eh?"

Toshiya pulled Kaoru aside and whispered. "Ne! Don’t you notice Die’s a little disturbed right now?"

"Hontou?"

Toshiya sighed and pulled Kaoru’s face to look at Die, who was still leaning on the lamppost. He didn’t have his usual smile, which was highly strange. Kaoru pursed his lips. Should he ask Die what’s wrong? Is it really any of his business? Die HAS become his best friend.

Toshiya smiled. "Kao-kao. I remember I have a design project due tomorrow."

"HUH!?!? WHAT?!?" Kaoru blinked.

Toshiya pulled Kaoru’s ear and whispered hastily. "DUH! Take Die to dinner. I think he needs to talk to someone more than I do."

"OW~~! What are you talking about! I can take both of you---"

"Just do it." Toshiya said. "Ja ne, Die." He smiled sexily and blew them both a kiss before walking away.

Kaoru pouted. ~Why does this always happen?~

Die shrugged absently. Toshiya didn’t exactly leave either of them much of a choice. ~I guess it’s alright~ Die thought. ~I do need someone to talk to about Shinya….~

*****

Kaoru scarfed his tiny, undercooked steak and his soggy french fries in one quick swoop. Die poked his rubbery steak and lumpy mashed potatoes. He didn’t feel very hungry. Actually, any food from Campus Steakhouse wasn’t very appetizing anyway. It’s surprising that Kaoru likes the food in this place.

Kaoru looked up with his mouth full. "Ne. Are you eating that?"

Die shook his head in disgust.

"Alright!" kaoru stabbed his fork thorugh Die’s steak and devoured it. "Mmmmm! OISHII!!" Die thought he was going to puke. Kaoru patted his tummy and leaned back on his seat. "SO, what’s been bothering ya, buddy?"

Die sighed. "You sure you wanna hear this?"

Kaoru nodded. "This may not be any of my business, but if you feel the need to talk to someone about it, I’m right here."

"OK," Die said. He placed his hands on his cup of hot chocolate, trying to get as much warmth from it as possible. "Let’s say there’s someone you really love….and….do you believe in love at first sight, Kaoru?"

Kaoru thought about it for a moment. "It’s possible, I think, but not highly probable. But hey! It’s quite a possibility."

Die continued. "Well…what if every since you laid eyes on…this person…you’d do anything. You’d climb every mountain and pick a flower from them if this person asked."

Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "Die, I never thought you’d be the romantic type."

"Point exactly! I never do this! I wouldn’t even think about doing what I’ve been doing…but…I can’t help thinking of those beautiful eyes and lips…." The red head paused to take a deep breath. He never thought it would be this difficult to describe his feelings in words. "Let’s say…let’s say you love this person like you’ve never loved anyone before…"

Kaoru bit his lip. He now had a faint idea who Die was talking about. ~Oh, shit, DIE! I’m the last person you should talk to about Shinya!~

"Ne, Kaoru. What would you do?" Die asked.

~Shimatta ><!~ Kaoru winced. What can he say? If he was Die, he’d go and tell Shinya how he felt, because it was obvious Shinya felt something for the red head, no matter how much he denied it. They both make each other feel emotions they wouldn’t normally feel. Then again, if Die told Shinya his true feelings, they’d get together. Kaoru wouldn’t have a chance with the bishounen.

"Well," Kaoru began. "I don’t know, Die. I really don’t know." He looked at Die’s depressed face. He couldn’t do this to his best friend. "But I wouldn’t keep my feelings bottled up." Kaoru bit his lip. "Tell him, Die."

Die spoke in a quiet voice. "What if this person doesn’t love you back?"

Kaoru perked up hearing that phrase. ~WHAT?!?!~ "Are you sure about that?"

Die gulped. "H-hai. I heard it with my own ears. This person loves someone else…"

Kaoru froze. ~Does Shinya love ME?~ {uh oh. Kaoru jumping to conclusions… >< Yk2}. Inside, Kaoru was jumping for joy. But he stopped, feeling guilty for rejoicing in his friend’s misery. He came to Campus Steakhouse to help his best friend; he ought to set his greedy desire aside and focus on cheering up Die.

Kaoru cleared his throat. "Well, Die. If that’s how this person feels, there’s nothing you can do about it."

Die slumped.

Kaoru felt terrible. Even if he himself didn’t have a crush on Shinya, he would have given the same advice. {whatever, Kaoru… ~Yk2}.

"I know it hurts, but you can’t change people and you can’t change what happened. If something is meant to happen, it will, no matter how long you wait and no matter what you do. The best thing to do is to make the best out of it." {Sound familiar? ~Yk2}.

Die stared at Kaoru.

Kaoru shifted in his seat. "What? Can’t I be philosophical for once?"

Die stood up. "Y’know what? You’re right! You are SO right!" He slammed his hand on the table. "I’m not gonna get depressed over that! I’m going to be positive!"

Kaoru smiled. "That’s right, Die."

"I’m going to project my energies elsewhere!"

"Yep! That’s the idea!"

"I’m going to play some REAL football on Saturday…"

"You go, Die!"

"…and I’m going to study like a maniac!"

Kaoru almost fell off his chair. Die and study. That’s an oxymoron right there. "Did I just hear you right?"

But Die wasn’t paying attention. Now he wanted to study hard, not because Shinya thinks he’s stupid and he wanted to impress the bishounen, but because he wanted to prove that he could do better than Prof. Yoshiki. He could beat that scrawny professor with a PhD and beyond. Die decided to forget about Shinya and move on. If Shinya and he were not meant to be, then stressing about it was not going to get him anywhere. Besides, feeling depressed sure hurts. It’s better to move on the let it be….

~Goodbye, my Shinchan~ the red head thought. ~Goodbye~

Kaoru looked at Die, who had a scary, determined look on his eyes.

Kaoru ~sweatdrop~

~I’ve created a monster. ~

CONTD @ Episode 14: Should I? Should I not?

to be continued~