Room 304, Diety Hall

Author: Yukimi2 yukimi2@yahoo.com

Dedication: nezu-chan ^_^

Comment: Enjoy. Comments are also welcome =)

Episode 24: Doubt

Shinya walked to class in the bitter cold, but it did not bother him. The weather reminded him of home. The past few days, he had been feeling rather numb. Numb the fact that he could not think of anything but the letter’s contents. He’d also been careless to leave it in Akira’s place, where Toshiya would definitely read it no matter what circumstance befalls it. But that did not phase the auburn head. Eventually everyone would have found out.

Evidence of people having read it were showing too. Toshiya took him out shopping the other day, and Kaoru asked if they could look over music sheets together.

Shinya guesses the letter must have circulated the entire dormitory by now. Of course, it wasn’t a big deal to him.

He sighed and watched his breath form in the chilly air, then moved his eyes around the empty lot. Trees were bare. The ground frosty still from the morning dew. The building windows were fogged. He never thought he would feel so at home in such a place so far and so different from home.

*****

Die scribbled over his calculations for the hundreth time; he just could not understand the material as quickly as his other classmates. It’s infuriating. What’s even more infuriating is the fact that the red-head had difficulty focusing on the course work. His attention was averted to something else that he didn’t want to think about at all. But the thought was there, and he wished it would go away. That letter; that damned letter. Why did it have to arrive now, of all times? Die stared at the cream colored envelope on the corner of the desk. It lay faced down because the red head kept having the urge to read it over and over again, vainly hoping there was some kind of mistake to those words, some kind of error or misinterpretation. But no matter how much the red head wanted it to be false, the letter never changed. Totchi and Kaoru had insisted that he kept the letter, despite his protest. He didn’t want to keep it because everytime he looked at it, it pained him.

Die finally gave in to his urge and grabbed it. He read it again, line by line, word for word.

###

Dearest Shinya,

We desperately need you to come back. I understand this might be of short notice, but something terrible has occurred here. The family business had an unfortunate fire last week and nothing could be saved. Your father fell ill from shock, but has recovered tremendously in the past few days. He is doing well. We plan on restoring the business elsewhere, but we need you to come back and help us here. It is very unfortunate, but we cannot afford to keep you studying under these circumstances. Please be back by the end of the week. Your cousin will wait for you at Ontario and you can both fly here.

We miss you dearly.

Love,

Your mother

PS- I have enclosed your house key.

###

Die shook his head. He still could not believe it. Shinya was leaving at the end of the week.

Knock. Knock.

The door.

"It’s open!" Die put the paper back in the envelope and placed it in his drawer.

"You still studying?" Kaoru entered the dorm.

"Hey, Kaoru. Yeah. Studying." The red head stretched his arms out. "What’re you doing here?"

Kaoru sat on Die’s futon and crossed his leg. "Shouldn’t that be my question?"

"Eh? I’m studying. You just said it a while ago."

Kaoru leaned forward. "What are you doing here studying? You shouldn’t be in here right now."

Die raised an eyebrow. "Are you OK, Kaoru?"

"Don’t try lying to me." Kaoru said. "We all read the letter at Akira’s apartment. We all know Shinya’s leaving soon, and we’ve all been trying to spend as much time with him as possible……except you…"

Die bit his lip.

"Die, I have you the letter to keep in hopes that returning that to Shinya would be a good excuse to talk to him. You need to resolve your problem before he leaves, and don’t deny that. If you leave this misunderstanding like this, and if you don’t tell him exactly how you feel, it will eat you for a very long time. Die, I know you, you’ll regret it."

"But Kaoru, it’s so hard." Die explained. "I never understand that boy, and I don’t know how or when to approach him! The only time I’ve gotten him to talk to me is when I tease him; and i…I can’t tell him how I feel!!"

"Yes you can." Kaoru insisted. "Who would have ever thought you could sit down and study all day? I bet you anyone who knew you fall quarter would laugh at that, but here you are now, studying your ass off and achieving grades better than the other quarter. That proves that anything is possible."

"It’s impossible. That boy is impossible!"

"The impossible make things possible. At least give him his key back. I’m sure he’ll need that."

Edie sighed and twirled the pen in his hand. "You know…. I never thought I’d be so distressed over something like this. I always had a smile; the bright ‘happy-go-lucky’ kinda guy…"

"Your conscience is what’s keeping you from it." Kaoru lay a hand on his best friend’s shoulder. "Talk to him. If you feel that you really can’t converse with that guy, just be there with him. Spend time together, because after this week, you never know when you’ll see him again."

Die nodded slowly.

"Look, it’s already Wednesday and he’s leaving on Friday morning. Don’t waste your time. You only have 2 days left."

"Hai. I’ll talk to him." Die stood up and grabbed Shinya’s housekey. "After my tutoring session."

Kaour smiled at his friend’s resolution as they both headed out the dorm.

Die had Math tutoring, so he left the building while Kaoru went back to his dorm.

The purplehead didn’t even touch the doorknob when Toshiya swung it open. "So, is he doing it?"

Kaoru frowned. "Totchi, you’re so nosy."

"I can’t help it! You took so long!"

"Totchi, I was only up there for 10 mts.!"

"I know! SO long!"

"Hey! Die’s not an easy guy to persuade."

"You’re his best friend. You ought to know which buttons to press on that guy!"

"I’d like to see you try. Are you letting me in or not?"

Toshiya pouted and stepped aside to let his roommate in. Kaoru noticed that Toshiya was dressed to go out in his usual skimpy outfit.

"You have a date with Hakuei or what?"

"What?"

"You going out tonight?"

Toshiya gasped. "You don’t remember?"

"Eh?"

Toshiya pouted. "You don’t remember!"

"Remember what? I’m not required to remember your social plans!"

Toshiya’s lip trembled. "But---but---you promised!!"

"Totchi. I don’t know what you’re talking about."

Toshiya stamped his heels noisily. "You promised to come shopping with me tonight! And you forgot!"

"Shopping? I did?" Kaoru scratched his head.

Toshiya’s eyes watered.

"Oh! Er, yeah, now I remember!" Kaoru lied. "Um, I clearly recalled now." ~^^;~

"Mou! Nevermind!" the bluehead crashed himself on his bed without taking off his shoes.

Kaoru frowned. "Totchi…" He sat on the bed. "I’m sorry. I’m just real tired lately and I just took you and Shinya out yesterday. I distinctly recall myself carrying all the bags and boxes for you guys."

Toshiya sniffed and buried his face on his pillow.

"Totchi…"

"I’m sorry, Kao-kao." He gave a muffled reply. "I’m being a brat these days. It’s just that… I’m not feeling well."

"Are you sick? You have a fever?" Kaoru quickly turned the younger man over and felt his forehead.

"No, I’m fine…I’m just…" He sighed. "Hakuei’s out of town on another business/exec trip and I’m just feeling really lonely these days. Gomen."

"It’s alright with me, you know, going shopping and all. And I know how you feel." Kaoru chewed on his lip. "It’s not just that that’s upsetting you, ne?"

Toshiya felt his eyes moisten. Miyabi has not contacted or tried to get with Hakuei after that day, but Toshiya felt the event had an impact on Hakuei. The blonde guy and he hasn’t had sex since then, and Hakuei insisted he was too tired or worn out. Maybe they were fading and Miyabi sets in….

Toshiya closed his eyes and buried his face on his roommate’s chest to keep the tears back. Kaoru jerked up in surprise, but didn’t let go. He had an inkling Hakuei has something to do with Toshiya’s depression.

"Kaoru, I don’t think Hakuei loves me." Toshiya whispered sadly.

"Why do you say that?"

"I-I don’t know…"

"Totchi…" Kaoru involuntarily stroked the blue head’s hair.

Toshiya sniffed. "I know it shouldn’t matter, but since the play, we haven’t had sex. And, I don’t know how to describe it, but something changed."

"So you think it has something to do with what happened in the play?"

Toshiya nodded.

"You mean Miyabi, right?"

Nod. Nod.

"But you said Miyabi hasn’t gone after Hakuei since then."

"But…I don’t know. I think Hakuei’s thinking about him now that he doesn’t see Miyabi anymore. And I just think…"

"You just *think* but you don’t *know* " Kaoru reasoned softly. "And don’t think too much. If Hakuei loves you, then you’ll stay together forever; if Hakuei doesn’t love you…" He felt the blue head jerk at that statement, so he held the younger man tighter. "Totchi…" He whispered. "If he doesn’t love you, then eventually, you’ll break up anyway. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of everything, ne?"

Toshiya nodded.

"But don’t go around assuming and thinking; if you feel so insecure, then you definitely should talk to Hakuei when he comes back."

Toshiya sniffed again. "kaoru, it’s not very easy talking to him…… especially when it comes to this kinda stuff."

"Really? You shouldn’t feel that way about your koi."

Toshiya shook his head sadly. "Maybe it’s just me. I feel uncomfortable talking to him about it."

"Well, maybe you ought to talk to someone who knows him very well."

"Like who?"

"Miyabi."

Toshiya frowned. "You know that boy quirks me."

"I know, and I understand too. It’s the same with me and Hakuei. He irks me; I irk him. But Miyabi’s a very nice guy once you get to know him. Just ignore the fact that he looks like you."

Toshiya remembered that look on Hakuei’s face after Miyabi fell off the stage. Surprise, shock, worry….and something else…. Toshiya couldn’t help but feel so much pain on his chest. He could feel his eyes water again no matter how much he willed them down. He resolved to just not think about it. He burrowed his face deeper on Kaoru. ~Don’t think about it. Stop thinking about it.~

"Kaoru," his voice cracked. "just…. Just hold me. please."

Kaoru didn’t know what else to do, so he complied to his roommate’s wishes, silently praying Hakuei won’t magically appear by the door and beat him up.

The two men were silent for a while, and only the sound of rain from the outside and their low, steady breathing could be heard. Toshiya could feel Kaoru’s heartbeat and warmth. It was so comforting, he wished it would last forever…

"Ne, Kaoru," he spoke softly, not wanting to break the serenety of the atmosphere.

"Nani?"

"Do I tire you?"

"Why would I tire of you, Totchi?"

He shrugged. "I mean, I’m such a brat and all, and I’m always making you do things you don’t want to do. I feel I’m a nuisance to you…."

"You want the truth, Totchi?"

"Hai."

"You’re a nuisance."

Toshiya broke off and looked at him with sad eyes.

"At first," Kaoru smiled sweetly. "I wondered why you always went to parties. I was so annoyed every time you dragged me shopping. I hated it when you tried to separate me from my homework. I absolutely despised it when you always said to get out the dorm and have fun. But after a while, I realized some things. College life isn’t only about books and studying; it isn’t only about parties and drinking either. It’s about both. It’s about people. Totchi, you’re right. I work too much, but at least I had someone like you to teach me more about life than the life in books and lecture notes."

"Sou ka?’

"Yep. Arigatou, Totchi."

Toshiya felt like crying from happiness. "Dooitasimasite." He whispered.

"Ne, you still want to go shopping? If you want to stay here, it’s alright too."

"It’s raining though."

"Really? Amazing, isn’t it? It’s almost spring already."

"Hai. Ne, maybe we should just visit Shinya tonight."

"That’s a good idea, but I just told Die to talk to him today."

"Oh yeah. Well, we can stay home, ne."

"That’s fine with me, Totchi." The older man sat up to go to the desk and finish his homework, but Toshiya pulled him down. "Totchi??"

The blue head whined. "Don’t leave me."

"I’m not leaving the dorm."

"No, just stay with me, ne."

"Totchi…"

"I’m cold."

Kaoru sighed. "If Hakuei was here, he’d beat me."

Toshiya raised an eyebrow. "There’s nothing between us. No way. He won’t do anything with you."

"Oh yes he will, and if it’s me, he’ll do it too."

"Why do you say that, Kao-kao? You don’t like my company?"

"Of course I like your company…"

"OK, then shut up and just hold me." He smiled and put his head back on Kaoru’s shoulder.

Kaoru sighed in resignation, but smiled at the pretty boy with him and held him securely in his arms.

*****

Die tapped his pen on the desk as Morita tried to explain the Math material to him. Amazingly enough, Morita was pretty good at teaching; it’s just that Die didn’t feel like paying attention. He wanted to get out and talk to Shinya.

"Dude! You’re not even listening to me!" Morita exclaimed.

Die leaned forward. "You don’t wanna be here, do you?"

"Hell, no." Morita growled. "You think I’m nuts? The only reason I even show up is because they actually assigned a monitor for math tutoring." He frowned. "I shoulda signed up for some other course tutoring, but I’m no good at anything other than math."

"You know, I don’t want to be here either. In fact, I want to get out of here right now."

"And how do you expect to do that? That Takuro guy is impossible!"

"Not that impossible. He monitors my dorm too, but we barely get busted for anything."

"Dude! How do you do that? I feel like that guy’s the terminator or something."

"We have our ways."

"Hey! So you live in Diety Hall, don’t you?"

"Yeah."

"Are you the lucky guy who lives with that hot chick?"

"What hot chick?"

"That really hot babe with the blue hair."

Die would have rolled around the floor laughing if it weren’t for Takuro’s presence in the room. "Toshiya’s a guy, dummy."

Morita wasn’t paying attention. "Damn, is that her name? Dude, you have to introduce me to her."

Die: *sweatdrop* These guys seem to have a problem with gender distinction.

"Anyways," Die changed the subject. "Do you want to get out of here or not?"

"Of course I wanna get out of here!"

"Then you have to cooperate with me, ne?"

"I don’t think you can escape that guy."

"Just trust me."

"Whatever you say, dude." Morita leaned back on his chair.

"Hey, if you cooperate with me, I’ll give you Toshiya’s phone number."

"Alright! You’re on!"

"OK, here’s the deal. You jump up and start yelling about someone running in the halls, got it?"

Morita looked confused.

"Just pretend someone’s running/loitering in the hallway."

"O-k…." Morita said uncertainly, but braced himself anyway. "OH MY GOD!!! RUNNING IN THE HALLS!"

Takuro immediately jumped to his feet. "Where?"

"Er, over there! They ran across the corridor!"

After Takuro went out the room’s doors, Die immediately hopped on the table.

Morita stared at him. "You know, when that guy figures out I bullshitted him, I’ll get busted."

"I know. We’ll BOTH get busted." Die said calmly, as if he’s dealt with the type of situation all his life. "That’s why I’ve got to do this." He took out his lighter and opened it. Then her reached as far as he could to the ceiling’s sprinkler system. After a few seconds, the fire alarm went off and the sprinklers burst open.

Die jumped down the table. "Alright! Let’s go!"

Both men ran out the building, only to be greeted by the night rain. Not that they cared; they were both wet anyway.

Morita looked at Die. "Dude! That was the best escape tactic I’ve ever seen! Even I never thought of that."

Die grinned. "Comes with experience from evading the law. I’ve got more methods up my sleeve."

"You’re gonna have to teach me, man."

"Maybe I’ll teach ya another one next session. For now, I’ve got business to deal with."

"Wait! You promised me the chick’s number!"

"Oh, yeah. Here." Die wrote on a soppy piece of paper. "See you next session ne?"

"Yah. See ya."

Die happily strolled back to Diety Hall. Morita wasn’t so bad after all. But the red head couldn’t wait for Toshiya to start receiving calls from the frat boy.

Die reached Room 411’s door and fished out the silver key from his pocket.

~Time to talk to Shinya~ he thought to himself. The red head knocked on the door. It opened with a soft creak and Die saw Shinya standing there with a surprised look on his face.

"Konbanwa." Die nervously greeted. His eyes wandered over the delicate form involuntarily. Shinya looked like he just got out of the shower. He had a white robe on and his hair was slightly wet and sticking to his neck. The red head could feel his heart quicken a pace…. All he had to do was pull the robe’s sash…… {Die, you hentai!! ~yk2}

"Konbanwa." Shinya said quietly and blushed. Die was drenched from the rain. The crimson hair stuck to his face and neck and his shirt clung to that fine body of his.

"A-no…dozo…" Die handed Shinya the silver key. "You left it in Akira’s place."

"Arigatou"

Silence.

Die nervously shifted his feet. "I heard you are leaving on Friday."

"Hai."

Silence.

"N-ne." Die began.

"Nani?"

"I’m having a farewell party tomorrow night."

"Sou ka?"

"Please be there."

Shinya looked up.

Die chewed his lip. "It’s for you."

Shinya blushed.

"See you tomorrow." Die said, sidestepping to his dorm.

"Chotto matte." Shinya spoke up.

Die stopped.

"Uh…ano…" Shinya gripped his robe. "Oyasumi…"

Die blinked, but smiled sweetly. "Oyasumi, Shin-chan."

Shinya’s face flushed crimson upon hearing that word, then smiled back before shutting the door silently.

CONTD @ Episode 25: Good-bye, My Shin-chan II

to be continued~