o5.23.o4 [sunday]
It's hard to do this without him wanting to.. without him cooperating with me. I'm not doing this to hurt him or his feelings... just for the good of me.. and eventually the good of him. He'll discover that soon.
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o5.22.o4 [saturday]
Imperfection, why are we made that way? I blame Adam and Eve.. damn them! Anywho.. so my bf think i need counseloring... I think so too.. I sure will give the counselor a migrane, lol.
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o5.21.o4 [tgif]
Being apart from you is not such a hard thing to do, but being away and still loves you will not be hard. But i feel empty inside.. nowaday.
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o5.2o.o4 [thursday]
Last day of computer class.. boy, I'm going to miss it =( .... Had mad fun in Gym today, I'm so going to miss it too.. Thanks god we sitll got 4 weeks of it! yay!
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o5.19.o4 [wednesday]
Oyyy.. I give up! No longer will I try to be an adult. For goodness sake, I'm only 16! I will not be anymore than that! I'm going to remain a happy teen-ager! And I shall! I quitted on work.. hahaha. I cooked and my bf ate like a pig, he love it.. hope he's not trying to make me happy hehee i doubt it!
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o5.18.o4 [tuesday]
I truly wish I can do this. I mean, I'm a food addict, you may call me that, but I don't fricking need to eat all the time to live. It is so like abnormal. I'm going on a eating strike. [later on that day] It's weird... but now whenever I think of him, I no longer see his cute smiley face, but instead I see myself facing a wall! lol... sighs.. it's funny!
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o5.17.o4 [monday]
Oyyyyy... I'm wearing my oldest jean LOL! They're a size 0 and I don't look "fat" in it. Well, I did gained weight in the last 3 years and that is just H O R R I B L E! I have been eating too much, gotta cut it down! [after school] Oyyy... I ate.. and mother still complains.. not complain, but she's just worried.. she said I looks so pale.. everyone says that nowadays. Is it true that I'm that pale? Maybe I should get a tan... hahaa but i wanna be whiter. I don't want no tan.. uhhh, eeeeeew! so fricking dark!
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o5.16.o4 [sunday]
Talk about MADNESS! Being stained in the rain is all about madness. I pity Maddie for being involved with reckless aunts like Jessie and moi. My apologies to her. I'm going to make it up too. Watch me. Time goes by too slow yo. I can't sleep. It's all fricking late.. early in the morning now [5:o6] and here I am, blogging lol. [later that day] I can't go back. There's no going back, even if I hated it so much, I still gotta keep it cool. If I can't change someone, I'll change myself. The more I like myself, the more I like that person. No feelings to give out. I shall it keep it all to myself, no matters what. Being a girl is a tough job yo.
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o5.15.o4 [saturday]
I'm just so glad today is the beginning of the weekend. I spend time with my hunni. Although, I slept all day yesterday. I was pissed at him for leaving me there.. hanging. It was so wrong too, but I thought about it. Maybe I'm being to rough on him. The more I think of I much I hated him for leaving there and just go, irriates me, make me wanna see him more, misses him more, and wanna just hug him when he's back.. and maybe playfully punch or pinch him to let him know not to do that again lol. Sis Hien and mommy is going to a wedding tommorrow. So many ppl are getting marry. When will it be ours? <3.
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o5.14.o4 [tgif]
Why do I hate it so much when people call me names? Why does it hurts so much? Why do I even bother to cry when I called them names as well? Wouldn't that causes them to cry? But why don't I see her break down and cry? Is it because it's true? or is it just me? AM I TOO SENSITIVE? Oh that's is just so WRONG! a bony ass girl told my sis I'm a skinny ass.. I'm like wuh wuh wuh? She said I got no boobs.. so? I'm only fricking 16 biach!Oyyy... I'll never stop eating. Moi is so fricking F-A-T =X.
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o5.13.o4 [thursday]
Talk about living in a "unfair" world, but someone I know... all a fricking wanna - black, curses at teacher, crude + rude, got GOOD critizenship and is invited to school's thingy and for pizza too.. Man.. this school is off its head. [later that day] I don't know what it is.. but I'm so SICK! I hate the hot weather. I'm getting sick and sicker day by days. It's not even right. I know I'm definitely not a summer, but it's not even summer yet.. well sorta. I don't know I'm going to face Summer this year. Should I, like other years, go outside with sunblock lotion, all over my body and long protection clothing? or should I be "normal" for once this year and in my shorts, chilling?
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o5.12.o4 [wednesday]
I'm not going to make the same mistake. I won't get myself all "hyped" over small issue.. But then it have been this way for awhile.. and I'm lost and doomed in this lil miserable World of mine that I just wanna shout, "I've had enough!" and by that, I mean I'm literally going to faint if things keep on going this way. I wonders, what if you just avoid it all... would it help? Like, don't be mad, just avoid.. But then wouldn't the "love" disappear within you. [later on that day] Whoooaaa it is so fricking HOT! I'm like all fricking sweaty, sweating like a - you - know - what! lol! OMG... showering is now offically my HOBBY!!! and it is ... sooo awkward... funny, but showering seem to be out of the topic and all, but it's awkward to shower today and like whoaaaa... it was weird =X hahaha new year, new things.
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o5.11.o4 [tuesday]
I'm not thinking much right now... but it's so peaceful here and I like it too. I was wondering, should I save money or send? It is so hard to save. Spending is so fast, n a flash, I can spend 100 bucks.. but saving it, I can't. I must try I guess. Luis told me to spend some and save some. Save the "big" money, he said, and spend the lil ones. lol , that's good. June is going to be a tough week. I hope I can go to Washington, DC... SciTech's one week summer school... and summer school.... [later that day] Sometime I just feel "wrong".. like things I say.. and does.. are like wrong and i hate it so much.
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o5.1o.o4 [monday]
update later... lol. [7:55 pm] Eyyy.. sometime, I'm just so exhausted and I get all grumpy.. well, my bad aiight? The wheather is like so hot.. I feel sick.. not just that, I starved myself today.. with no food in my tummy, I almost faint.. My hunn! said I look like I was about to puke hahaha lol... But I ate. He cook yummi, must eat! ate like a pig too... big big.. not the normal big bowl we eat at those Viet's restaurant, but it's BIGGER.. I ate like 3/4 of it! Damn huh? lol
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o5.o9.o4 [sunday]
We started off wrong.. will thing change? I'm going to make it sure it will... prove you wrong. I was hurted.. lecturing me only increases my hate for you and increases my suicidal thoughts... [later that day] OMG, I'm so hyper... Today was a blast. Thanks everyone. Nga couldn't make it... miss that girl. Well.. I don't care if I didn't get that dozen roses from Tony.. I mean, he did got it, but due to the fact that today is also Mother's Day, so he ended up giving it to his mom.. and I think that is JUST SO SWEET! I love that in a guy! I love him even more. That is so hot! hehehe.... Well, I hope think will flow evenly this year in this relationship of ours.. and I hope everyone's as well.. and oh, I just wish the Asian group can stick together even more.. cause I know there are individuals who dislike each other in there and I think it's wrong... Sometime it's just awkward to say "I hate Asian peeps" but sometime... most of them don't have the "asian pride" in them and it makes me sad.... but beside that, good news.. I finally have asian pride in me lol.. I love you all so much!
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o5.o8.o4 [saturday]
Eyyyy... one more day... such a waste.. I'm over-reacted.. ripping money? oh come onnnnn! I don't know what to do.... sighs.... how am I gonna get him his gift? Sometime.. I wanna be sooo mad at him.. but I can't.. I mean, I promised him I was going to change back to the "old" moi.. and like, the "old" moi never is mad at him... but I mean... money is not an issue.. but I remember attending this one "couple" [whom I hate dearly]'s annivrsary and the guy.... [he's a teen.. dun work] got her so many things.. I mean.. he probably saved up bunchi of money.... seee.. but him? The money... the bank I lends to... never will open it... start spending like it's free money.. I had my intentions when I gave it up to "the bank".. but then, that just hurt... I'm like not the first thing in his mind... but then he sorried.. and I said it's aiight.. but I don't think it's aiight.. it's like... so wrong. [I can't even tell you the "truth".. you see, I'm hiding stuff and I hated it so much.. it's like I can't speak my mind anymore.. not even my very own page.. shame on moi!]
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o5.o7.o4 [friday]
Ebola is a deadly disease yo.. I would hate to have it =X... Oyyy.. 2 more days.. I'm so like excited.. and the wheather is not even that nice.. well it is cool outside... hope it won't be too hot or like be raining hard on the 9th <3. [later that day] You know... I used to be "carelees".. I don't care about anything.. negative... I don't even care about my friends except the fact they're my friends and we love to chill with each other... Now, it seemed like I'm embarrassed to be around them.. and that I look down on them.. Serious, I don't know what's gotten into me.. but I do miss the old times.. MY litto sis and I used to have a blast... She's my "true" best friend.. why should I go search for one... when she's living in the same roof... How pathetic!
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o5.o6.o4 [thursday]
Oyy.. maybe I do need to change... and like be back to my old self.. I promised.. and I will. It's going to takes a lots of guts to do so... Well, I know now.. I do love him for I'm willingly to do anything for him.
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o5.o5.o4 [wednesday]
Hmmm... lost the entry to this post =X.
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o5.o4.o4 [tuesday]
Ha! it's funny.. when my huni and I are trying to stop all the arguements, commotions... my sis are going at it! what a coincidence! I thought I was abnormal.. eat 5 meals a day.. hahah [abnormal], hyper for some 14 yrs of my life, then suddenly a "serious" strike occured [ABNORMAL]... now, it's personal and it's back.. but I'm "normal" afterall... how cool is that? <3.
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o5.o3.o4 [monday]
I get so MAD easily........... ARGH! It tears me up inside.. the anger I have and had just snap.. argh, I'm going to explore one day.. and I must stop crying in front of a "monitor"... It's embarrassing... lol
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o5.o2.o4 [sunday]
I felt bad........... been hurt... or hurts someone....? It's hurts me even more to see other hurts.. esp him.
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o5.o1.o4 [saturday]
Life is hectic... I hate Life. I just like want to die for one moment, to see how it is like. Is it better to life in sadness or Die in happiness? Why am I feeling this? Am I fading away every now and then? Then regain my strengths and smiles as if nothing really happened.... Then later on, recapture the moments and became sadden by it again? Is this TRUE happiness? Is it worth crying for? Why cry, when you can die?
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