the bottom!draco emporium-- Letters

DISCLAIMER: characters not mine. Same old, same old. Just the story, yeah.

Letters, by Zed Adams

Once upon a time, in late July 2002, a young snooty wizard with a horsey upper class accent called Draco invited his frigid, super snooty, bleached blonde and bejeweled Mother, Narcissa, over for Dinner. During the course of the meal, served by obedient and smartly uniformed house elves Dobby and Winky, his mother could not help but notice how handsome and attractive Draco's housemate was. His thick black hair was rakishly messy, barely covering the lightning bolt scar over his right eye, his skin aglow with a beautiful golden brown tan, his lips soft and pink - unlike her Draco who appeared to have managed to run through an entire 150ML tube of Sleek-EZ Wizard Hair Wax™ in three days flat and sport a year-round anti-tan pallor.

Narcissa, despite the classic dumb blonde baggage that she carried had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the young men interact, she started to wonder if there was more between her baby Draco and his strikingly gorgeous housemate than met the eye. Narcissa had to surreptitiously cast an Anti-Swooning Charm on herself, because looking at Harry Potter made her short of breath and her heart pound in her head.

Sharp wizard Draco read his mother's thoughts and volunteered in his nasal drawl, "I know what you must be thinking Mother, but I assure you, Harry and I are just housemates."

About a fortnight later Harry came to Draco looking agitated and saying, "Ever since Narcissa came to dinner I couldn't find the crystal gravy boat that we got from France. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Draco rolled his eyes in exasperation, but decided to amuse Harry anyway. "Well, I doubt it, what would she want it for? Malfoys have enough crystal-ware in their kitchen cabinets, but I'll owl her just to be sure," said Draco indulgently.

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you did take the gravy boat from my house, I'm not saying that you did not take the gravy boat, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
your Son, Draco

Several days later a Malfoy eagle owl delivered a letter from Narcissa which read :

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you do sleep with Harry Potter, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Harry Potter, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the gravy boat by now.
Love, Your Mother

P.S DON'T LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

The End.

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