Ron : hmm, Harry looked unnaturally chipper this morning.
Draco : my legs are cramped. And my bum itch…wonder if anyone would notice me scratching? (glances around. Scratches buttocks)
Ron : ugh, foul rat face is scratching his arse. Argh, why am I watching him scratch his arse?!
Harry : hee hee. Draco has such a pert arse. Can't wait to waylay him after class…
Crabbe : yawn…damn sleepy. I wanna some Cockroach Clusters.
Harry : …maybe I can ambush him for a quickie under the stairs. (grins)
Ron : why is Harry smirking and staring at Malfoy?
Harry : (licks lips and grinned wider)
Draco : I can see you leering at me, Harry! Insatiable maniac. Ow, my arse's still sore. Bad idea to let him sleep inside me.
Ron : oh…oh! Malfoy is smiling at Harry!
Hermi : I knew it! I knew it!
Ron : ????!!!! @&$&*$#%
Seamus : cor, Professor Sinistra's boobies are huge!!
Dean : hey, where's my candy?
Crabbe : (snigger)
Draco : (licks lips. Blows air kiss towards Harry) Rowr.
Harry : (winks) …wait till I get my hands on you....
Draco : Rowr.
Seamus : oh boy! She's bending. She's bending!!!
Crabbe : gah, Malfoy's flirting again. Wanton bugger.
Harry : down boy, down! (hands in pockets)
Crabbe : idiot forgot to use the Silencing Charm again. That's the bloody fourth night in a row!
Ron : why is Harry pounding his thighs?
Hermi : argh, period pain! Wails.
Draco : (positively randy) come and get it lover.
Harry : damn damn damn! Not a good time for a hard-on. Not in class!!
Hermi : must owl Justin…no sex for a bit.
Goyle : Malfoy's at it again. Randy bastard. Bloody twit kept me up all night with his moaning.
Prof Sinistra : somebody's hitting on me, hee hee.
Goyle : I'll Incendio his bed's hangings the next time. Ha ha!
Blaise : pink lipstick or peach lipstick? I feel soooo girly this week. My inner goddess Aphrodite must be coming through.
Terry Boot : wonder if Blaise's a boy or girl this week....hmmm, perhaps he's game for a shag. Ravenclaws are such boring lot. (grins vacantly)
Draco : ow, legs hurt. Damn cramp coming back. No missionary position for a while, then. (winces)
Harry : (grins) hee hee.
Seamus : Pwoar! Drools!
Prof Sinistra : Irish midget definitely hitting on me. Heh heh, what they say about short men and sex drive! These Wonderbra really works!
Draco : must get Harry to change that lube. That one dries my skin. Ouch, dick hurts. Sigh, looks like I'll be bottom again this week....
Terry Boot : (winks at Blaise)
Blaise : (gapes) !!!! (giggles)
Harry : wonder if Draco's game to try this new position…need to find a doorway with a lintel though.
Dean : stop nicking my candy, you oaf! (kicks Crabbe)

Ron : something's fishy going on with these two (eyeing his best friend and mortal enemy)
Harry : (grins vacantly) yeah, if he can hang on the lintel and wrap his legs round me, I think I can get it in. Must owl him…see if he's game.
Draco : (scratches privates) Ow, must remind Harry not to suck too hard. Feels tender already.
Terry Boot : (ogles Blaise) yeah Baby!
Blaise : (blushes) oh, behave!
Ron : that's it. I'm going to nick his Invisibility Cloak and follow him tonight.
Harry : (waggles tip of tongue at Draco) just you wait! Class will be over in a tick. I'll maul you stupid.
Draco : (smirks) come and get it, lover.

Draco : (shoves roughly against Harry. Sneers aloud) watch it, you four-eyed git.
Harry : you have a problem, Malfoy? (stares down his nose)
Draco : you are the problem, you moron. Befouling this school with your presence!
Harry : (glares and swaggers towards Draco until they are nose-to-nose) what say we step out and settle it, mano-a-mano?
Hermi : NO FIGHTING , HARRY!
Harry & Draco : shut up, already!
Draco : no problem, Potter.
Harry : (small wink) scared, Malfoy?
Draco : (suppressing a grin) you wish, Potter.
Harry : let's go then

© Zed Adams ; 17th August 2002