| The Buzzby Adventures |
| III |
| When Tush didn't return, VCMC became very concerned. They discussed what they should do next and decided to send in their best operative: Professor Parrot. Her deadly power consisted of the ability to sense what anyone wanted to hear and make false promises, promises that the creature hearing them would instantly and deeply believe as true. The very next day, Professor Parrot broke in through the kitchen window, making sure to leave the screen and window back to "normal" before flying over to the entertainment center in the living room. Almost instantly, Buddy started barking and the bunnies alerted, quickly leaving their cage to join him in front of the entertainment center. Professor Parrot looked at the three critters, curious as to their role in the disappearances of her friends. "So, little animals, are you responsible for my friends being nowhere to be found?" "What friends are you referring to?" Baby asked, trying to size up this new intruder. "Ah, I see," Professor Parrot began, "you're the leader of this little band. What do you call yourself? Bunnies and poodle? The three stooges? Ha Ha Ha!" "We are Buzzby, a combination of our names. You might laugh, but we will protect our mom. Whoever your group is, we will stop you before you can hurt her!" Baby answered on the fly. "It won't matter if I tell you...I am Professor Parrot, part of VCMC: Villainous Close-Minded Conservatives. Your 'mom' is giving us problems by encouraging people to think for themselves and telling them about scientific findings that sometimes conflict with our baseless rhetoric. So we will stop her and there's nothing your pitiful little band can do about it! Ha ha ha!" With that, Professor Parrot looked deep into the animals' hearts and quickly found what promises they longed to hear. "Look Buzzby, I promise that if you allow me to do what I came for, your mom will be happier and healthier with her new way of thinking. She will love you more and give you lots more treats too...I promise!" Baby, Buddy, and Breezy all felt great hope as the parrot's power caused them to believe the twisted promises. Buddy especially felt deep joy as he thought of Paula's great happiness. In extreme ecstacy, his eyes grew wide and glistened, his ears perked, his tail nub and then his entire butt wagged, and he grinned in complete anticipation. Professor Parrot stared at Buddy, overwhelmed by his sweetness. "Oh, you are the sweetest thing I've ever seen! I can't stand how cute you are, I just have to groom you right now!" Instantly, the parrot glided to the floor, approaching Buddy with mindless abandon. As the parrot lost concentration, Baby and Breezy snapped out of their delusionary trance. Seeing his chance, Breezy ran at the parrot, digging his vampirish night fangs deep into the parrot's throat, instantly killing her. "Oh crap!" Buddy moaned, "I bet you expect me to eat that too!" "I'm afraid so, Buddy, but you're overlooking what we just learned: you have another power! You were able to use super sweetness to disable the parrot's intellect. You intuitively sensed the parrot's promises were false and turned up your sweetness to dangerous levels. Isn't that knowledge worth a little tummy ache?" "Geez, I don't think so. You're not the one who's gonna get a shot in the butt and pills stuffed down your throat for weeks!" Buddy groused. "Ah, Buds," Breezy started as the bunnies returned to their cage, "it ain't dat bad. Just tink 'bout how we're protecting moms and how much she loves us. Dat's da most important ting, right?" Buddy nodded agreement, then started his day-long nibbling at the parrot carcass. Once he was done, he again burried and covered the bones in the trash. Then when Paula got home, the inevitable cycle began. She became concerned by Buddy's lack of appetite and lethargy, taking him to the vet when his stools became loose as well. Buddy also received the treatment he dreaded: a shot, then two weeks of twice-a-day antibiotics. |