| The Buzzby Adventures |
| IV |
| After Professor Parrot's disappearnce, VCMC became more intensely concerned than ever about what was happening. They worried that Paula had some secret security system or anti-conservative traps. As they prepared to go back in, they decided to send in two operatives. They chose two more of their top leaders: Charlatan Vested, who could shoot bullets through his nose, and Beandip Baretta, a flying oxygen-breathing fish whose toxic crap could eat through any substance known to man (when combined with environmental oxygen). So Charlatan and Beandip decided to go in when Paula was asleep, a scant week after the Professor's disappearnce. Charlatan took the lead, making his way in through the side door, just before Beandip made his way in through the living room window. Baby, Breezy, and the fish immediately noticed the intruders. Baby and Breezy quickly pushed their way through their cage door to confront Charlatan. Charlatan turned toward the noise this created, wondering if he'd triggered Paula's security system. When he saw the bunnies, he chuckled as he threw a handful of bullets into his mouth. "Ah, it's time to show what a semi-automatic nose can do to some good eating bunnies!" Charlatan laughed, then let loose a barrage of nose bullets. Baby instantly jumped into the path of the bullets, snorting in rapid fire succession so quickly that it was impossible to follow. Her super snorts exploded the bullets in mid-air, vaporizing them into harmless dust. Breezy quickly charged the stunned and (shockingly) silent Charlatan, kicking him right in the stomach. Charlatan fell backwards, knocking himself unconscious on the corner of the kitchen table. Across the room, Beandip was horrified, then angered, by what he saw. He flew toward the bunnies in a rage, intent on crapping them to death. "Hey, Breezy, kick him over here and we'll take care of him!" Grover said, being careful to telepathically send the message only to Breezy. "Sure ting, Grov," Breezy responded as he jumped onto the living room's wicker couch. Once Beandip got close enough, Breezy kicked him in the head, stunning the fish, then spun around in mid-air, kicking Beandip in the side, rocketing him toward the fish tank. Just as Breezy began to spin around for the second kick, Grover jumped up and pushed the aquarium door open. Beandip fell helplessly into the tank, knocked stupid by Breezy's kicks. "Get 'em!" Grover shouted to the Figmen. All eight fish--Figmen and Grover--immediately devoured Beandip, throwing the bones out for the bunnies to take care of. With the "excitement" over, the bunnies tied Charlatan up with his own sweater, being sure to plug his nose with his own socks as well. After a couple of hours, he came to and saw the two bunnies staring into his face. "Look," Baby began, "we know you want to brainwash our mom and we want to assure you that we will NOT let that happen. We're going to let you return to VCMC so that you can tell them that they have no chance against BUZZBY. You should also know that you didn't even face our most formidable member! Just to be sure that you don't forget, here's further proof of our power: the bones of your dead associate." With that, Breezy dropped Beandip's bones into Charlatan's lap, then bared his vampirish night teeth in menace. "Holy crap!" Charlatan bellowed, "and people blame guns for the increase in violence!" "Oh shut up mister! If you guys hadn't been trying ta hurt moms, none of this woulda happened! Besides, you won't see anyone turning us on moms like they might turn a gun on her! I tink da gun powda has gone ta ya head or sumtin. Just go back ta ya cronies and tell them what's what...Ya big freakin' jerk!" Breezy growled. "Alright, but we're not done. It's our God given right to force people to believe what they should believe or at least do what we tell them! We know what's right and we'll never stop! God loves guns and money, not diversity and open-minds!" Charlatan spewed. "Would you please shut up and get out of here before I change my mind and let Breezy finish you off? I can tell he's having a hard time holding back and you do NOT want those bunny fangs digging into your fleshy throat!" Baby responded in extreme annoyance. Charlatan began to shiver and sob, frightened that the bunnies might finish him off. Baby cautiously untied him, ready to snort down any residual nose bullets. She needn't have worried though, as Charlatan slinked away in horrified humiliation. Charlatan was so frightened and mortified that he waited a week to return to VCMC. Once there, he told them about Buzzby. He changed the story a bit, claiming to have fought a dozen 200 pound fire-breathing werebunnies, further claiming to have killed all but two. He also made sure to emphasize that the fight taxed his reserves so badly that he could never fight again--he didn't want to face Buzzby ever again (though he feigned disappointment). Perhaps thanks to Charlatan's embellishments, VCMC decided to wait, plan, and recruit new members for an indefinite amount of time until they were ready to face Buzzby again, figuring that would take at least six months. |