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Must Sell - Before it blows up.

Runs Fine - I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience.

Needs Some Body Work - Was side-swiped by a Winnebago.

Well Maintanied -I occasionally change the oil.

Looks Like New - Just don't try to drive it anywhere.

All Original - I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.

Loaded With Options - Each one more troublesome than the last.

Never Smoked In - Unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.

Project Car - I can't figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either.

Lots of Potential - To drive you insane.

Needs Minor Repair - Doesn't run.

Engine Quiet - Uses 90-weight oil

Parts Car - Beyond repair.

Rough Condition - Too bad to lie about.

Immaculate - Recently washed.

Concours - Recently waxed.

Needs Minor Overhaul - Needs engine.

Needs Major Overhaul - Phone the junkyard.

Burns No Oil - It all leaks out.

Rebuilt Engine - Cleaned the spark plugs.

Drive It Anywhere - I live on a hill.

Drive It Anywhere - Within 10 miles.

Desireable Classic - No one wants it.

Rare Classic - No one wanted it even when it was new.

Stored 20 Years - In a farmer's field.

Ran When Stored - Won't start.

Never Apart - Bolts too rounded to loosen.

Solid As A Rock - Rusted solid

Restored With 0 Miles - Won't start.

Restored With 2 Miles - Won't stay running.

Older Restoration - First owner washed it.

Good Investment - Can't be worth much less.

No Time To Restore It - Can't obtain parts.

95% Complete - Other 5% doesn't exist.

Clean - Homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows.

Good Transportation - It's ugly as sin.

Engine Blueprinted - I don't know what it means either.

Exellent Gas Mileage - It's slow.

Low Miles - The odometer was turned back.

One Owner - Can't give it away.

Sure to Appreciate - That's why I'm selling it.

..Or Best Offer - I'm guessing here.

Faster Than A 'Vette - A Chevette.

Other Interests Conflict - Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I do!"



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