10. When you complain that a car has too many miles, he asks you how many miles you'd like to see on it.

9. Has dog named "Pacer."

8. When you crank the car and fluid rocket over your left shoulder, he notes, "Oh, that's a standard feature on all of these newer models.

7. Uses the 'Slim Jim' strapped to his belt to open the cars for your inspection.

6. When you ask him where the restroom is, he says, "Tell 'ya what I'm gonna do ...."

5. Lunges behind a fern every time you mention "Mike Wallace."

4. His bumper sticker reads, "Honk If You've Ever Reamed A Guy For Eight C-notes On A '72 Dodge Dart."

3. Casts no shadow even in direct sunlight.

2. Ever uses the words "excellent" and "Hyundai" in the same sentence.