I Want a Blonde



(spoken)
I want you to picture something:
We have a city full of short, dark people
Lots and lots of short, dark people
No, shorter than you.
And…into this city comes Mondragon
Who is tall and blonde
Who thinks by putting on a cap
He becomes invisible
So I want you to picture to yourself
A bar, and our two friends Rif and Rat
Holding forth at the bar
And in comes Mondragon in his cap
Invisible
Not bloody likely
And they’re likely to burst out with this:

(sung)

I’m tired of dark-eyed lovers
And I’m tired of raven hair
They’re lookin all alike to me
I’m startin not to care
I call them by each other’s names
And at the worst of times
I need a change of menu
Like a man from other climes

I want a blonde
Maybe green eyes, maybe blue
I want a blonde
Hell, I think I’d go for two,
Four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?
Cause that golden hair, you know
Brings sunlight here below
Just one way to do it
So I want a blonde

I tried to find a red head
Though I know they’re pretty rare
I know a gal who’s got one
But she doesn’t wanna share
Besides, the red head’s temper
Just means knife-work I don't need
And I like my lovers in one piece
I hate it when they bleed

I want a blonde
Maybe green eyes, maybe blue
I want a blonde
Hell, I think I’d go for two,
Ten, twenty, what the hell
Cause that golden hair, you know
Brings sunlight here below
Just one way to do it
So I want a blonde

And don’t try to tell me
That there’s charm
Inside a hairless head
‘Cause bald is not the kind of man
That I want inside my bed
And I’m as tired of brown hair
As I am of raven-black
And gray hair may bring wisdom
But there’s plenty more they lack

I want a blonde
Maybe green eyes, maybe blue
I want a blonde
Hell I think I’d go for two
Dozen, at least
Cause that golden hair, you know
Brings sunlight here below
Just one way to do it
So I want a blonde

I found a couple prospects
I think I met my match
They’re sneaky sons of ancestors
And kinda hard to catch
I guess I’ll hang out on the dock
And bring a club and net
And give some Faulkin boy
A shore leave, he won’t soon forget!

I want a blonde
Maybe green eyes, maybe blue
I want a blonde
Hell, I think I’d go for two
Hundred!
Cause that golden hair, you know
Brings sunlight here below
Just one way to do it
So I want a blonde


 
 

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