Welcome to the wonderful world of Steve McGuire, a pizza store manager with big dreams and aspirations of making a difference. He’s a wrestling fanatic with a huge buddy list of worthless individuals that meaninglessly send him Instant Messages (IMs) about a federation that doesn’t exist. He’s an internet thug, pimping individuals into writing stories about false wrestlers and watching them bicker over who’s the best imaginary one. He’s about as worthless as the rest of them, but something in his small little brain makes him think that’s he’s important, when in actuality, he’s pointless. He’s a far seer with dreams about control and dominance, thinking he actually controls the flow of data unto his website. What we do not know about Steve McGuire, is that he’s a Michael Jackson supporter and addicted to Gay Chat rooms. This is where our story takes place. We see Steve sitting in front of his trusty ole 333 Mhz Gateway Dimension 210. As you predicted, he’s on the internet trying to act tough while the turkey sandwich grease spills on his deformed belly. Steve is about white as white can get. His Caucasian heritage only gives him facial hair over the right side of his face. He sends girls he meets over the internet, pictures of an internet buddy “Isaac RCCL” and pretends that’s him to strike up a half way interesting conversation. While in real life, the closest he ever got to pussy was walking into the bathroom while his mother was bending over ready to take a shower. People at work call him “The Gimp” cause of his unusual walk do to his overweight size. As Steve types away introducing himself to a girl he met over the internet, he pretends to be a thug niggah off the meanest streets of Minnesota.
**The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.
(* This conversation takes place over American Online Instant Message’s.)
SteveMcDaddy: Yo yo yo! Whats up girlie girl… I see you in the chat room being all silent, you got a pic?
Sweetlove101: Who the fuck are u?
SteveMcDaddy: I’m a true life niggah from Minny. Where the true niggah bang rocks, and toot glocks.
Sweetlove101: Niggah please!
SteveMcDaddy: ASL? I’m a niggah fo lyfe! I’m about to bounce to check out dat new Tupac joint.
Sweetlove101: You got a pic?
SteveMcDaddy: S/R girl, you know the rules! I’m da finest niggah on the internet!
Sweetlove101: Niggah please, you’re some fake ass internet thug.
SteveMcDaddy: Bitach I’m a tru thug. I’m pimping yo mama right now on the corner of 8th street…
Sweetlove101: Ha! Shut the fuck up you fake ass niggah. You’re probably some gringo.
SteveMcDaddy: Bitah, I’m 1.2% black! You get cream with yo coffee bitach…
[Suddenly there’s another Instant Message that pops up.]
IsaacRCCL: Niggah, wha cha doing? You in a chat room again jerking off?
SteveMcDaddy: Nah! I’m talking to this girl I’ve met over the internet, I’m getting the digits.
IsaacRCCL: Did you see Primetime where JCP got screwed! Fucking Extreme won yo! You KNOW that shit is ridged! I had to turn off the TV. X-Treme is mad stupid. Another sorry ass Pay-per-View! No one wants to see X-treme.
SteveMcDaddy: I hear yah. JCP is like a god yo. He will destroy Sudden Death.
IsaacRCCL: Whats up with your website, I cant post OOC messages.
SteveMcDaddy: Stupid Vamp boards, JemIsANigger told me earlier today that he had some problems. Oh well!
IsaacRCCL: Whats up with my match against “Lee Bone?”
SteveMcDaddy: Come on, he’s no challenge for you. How about JMP verses Styrxxx?
IsaacRCCL: Motherfucker, hell NO! I’m tired of facing fake ass rookies.
SteveMcDaddy: How about I have you face Janice Clash, cool Idea! She’ll be surrounded by 30 Jems and you’ll destroy all of them. Imagine the respect you’ll get when you destroy 30 niggers! Damn I have great ideas!
IsaacRCCL: Are you fucking stupid? Dude, that Janice angle is gay ass fuck, JemIsANigger is talking poison in your ear, you dumb fuck!
SteveMcDaddy: Jem didn’t tell me shit. I just made it up right now.
IsaacRCCL: Then you are fucking dumber then you look! Why the fuck would I want to face Janice? Dude, no one in the federation likes that idea, it’s gay and stupid!
SteveMcDaddy: What the fuck, everyone loves Janice, ask Bunik?
IsaacRCCCL: HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! Niggah, you mad stupid! Janice is fucking garbage! Haven’t you been reading the OOC board in your chat room. NO ONE LIKES THAT GIMMICK, it’s fucking gay! Gay like your dumb overweight ass!
SteveMcDaddy: You’re FIRED! Leave “ICCW!” Why do you stay? ICW can live with you! Everyone tries to leave and bring down ICCW. But it always stays! Cause I’m there to control it! Why don’t you leave if you don’t like my ideas.
IsaacRCCL: You stupid fuck! You don’t make ICCW, we do! The talent. Why don’t you leave an see if ICCW stays around?