The Real Vicious Fishes Tour February, 1997

by Kim Sproul

After months of preparation and anticipation it finally arrived - The First Annual Fin-Atics / Vicious Fishes Bus Tour to Biloxi.

5:00 AM the alarm goes off. Knock half the junk on my desk into the floor in a vain attempt to hit the snooze bar.

5:01 AM the phone rings. Knock the rest of the junk off my desk trying to find my phone in the dark. "Good morning, Tammy. No, I wasn't going to rely on the alarm cats to wake me up this time."

Accidentally let Jayne the tailless wonder escape. Spend the next half hour trying to find a grey cat in the dark. " I see her!" " No, that's not a cat, that's a shrub."

Head to the Mill for breakfast. Learn that most of the Fin-Atics are NOT morning people.

Board the bus for Biloxi. Go through the box of videos on the bus trying to decide what to show first.

Wonder about the subject matter of the Jamaica Fantasy video. Decide this is not the time or the place to find out.

Decide to show Slapshot instead.

Forget about some of the antics of the Charlestown Chiefs' Booster Club. Hope none of the Fin-Atics get any ideas.

Consider making an decree forbidding the display of Fin-Atics butts from bus windows.

Take offense at the implication that all Florida hockey fans are old geezers.

Master the art of walking up and down the bus aisle to distribute prizes.

Strike stewardess from my list of possible career choices.

Watch Speed. Not necessarily the best choice of videos to show on a bus, but fun nevertheless.

Arrive in Gulfport. Marvel at all the people lining the streets to welcome us to town.

Be very disappointed when we realize they are lining up to see a parade.

Arrive at the hotel. Wonder why they still have their Christmas tree up.

See my first ever Mardi Gras tree.

Do the macarena in the lobby while waiting for my room. (No, I hadn't been drinking!)

Go to the American Superstars Show.

See Madonna, see Sam and Dave, See Elvis ( the younger, thinner, vertically challenged one), see the Four Topps.

Notice that two of the Tops look just like Sam and Dave.

See Madonna molest several male Fin-Atics much to the amusement of our female members.

Wonder how long it will take George Harris to pick all the glitter off his face.

Start the pep rally. Find myself on a stage recently vacated by Elvis.

Get asked what I usually do at a pep rally. "Me? I yell at ninth graders to sit down and shut up." "No, I mean at a HOCKEY pep rally." I've never even heard of a hockey pep rally.

Master the fine art of throwing Mardi Gras beads. Drape a few over the lights before I get the hang of it. It was very artistic. You should see my Christmas tree.

Go for a short walk on a long pier.

Watch Kim (the other one) and Jomar write " T. Sharks rule" on the beach complete with graphics.

Find the Delightful Courtesy phone. It'neon pink. Worry about what happens if you pick it up.

Go to the game. Try to figure out where to park the bus. Give up and let some one else worry about it.

Take over an entire section with the exception of four Sea Wolves season ticket holders.

Marvel at the Sea Wolves special Mardi Gras jerseys. Decide to pass on the chance to "meet my favorite player and buy the shirt off his back." Been there, done that.

See the dancing Treasure Babes again. They haven't improved any since November.

Refuse to participate in the wave. Don't they know that water is frozen? It doesn't make waves!

Wave at Kyle across the arena instead.

Expect to be insulted, get assaulted instead.

Get pelted with Mardi Gras beads, coins and candy (not all at the same time).

Get punched.

Resist the temptation to teach an obnoxious 12 year old a lesson in humility.

Wonder why we were the only group not announced at the game. How many people to you have to have to qualify as a group? We had well over 100.

Lose the game. Go back to the bus. Watch multiple intoxicate Sea Wolves fans pound on the bus.

Send a representative to tell them" Thank you for your concern, but we have cold beer and a warm bus. We're fine. We even have our own waiter."

Wander the casino. Tryout the slots. Learn the meaning of filthy lucre.

Lose $3. Decide it's a good time to quite. If it weren't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any.

Consider signing up for gambling lessons. They really have them!

Board the bus to go home. See the Red Dawg one Stop Biker Shop next door to the Ye Olde Tattoo Parlour.

Try to catch some Z's on the bus. Finally realize that those months living on a drum corps bus paid off. I can sleep anywhere.

Arrive in Tallahassee. Start making plans for next year's trip.