By Scarlet

Fandom: TOS

Rating: R

Pairing: Spock/Harry Mudd

Disclaimer: All things Star Trek belong to Paramount and Viacom. This is a not-for-profit piece of fan fiction, not intended to infringe on their copyright.

This is my contribution to the Spock-fuh-q-fest. The story was written in great haste, and no beta readers were harmed in the process. Thanks to kira-nerys for making it happen, and curse her all the way to Bajor and back for assigning me to this pairing. ;-)

Read more stories about Spock paired with unusual partners at http://www.kardasi.com/fuh-q-fest/index.htm

* * * * *

James T. Kirk's handsome face was covered with pimples.

'Is this the face that seduced a thousand women?' he had asked his mirror, shortly before taking his seat on the bridge, where his normally efficient helmsman Sulu had been making eyes at a giggling Uhura and playing pranks on a very irritable Chekov.

"Sickbay to Captain Kirk."

"Kirk here."

"Could you come down here for a minute, Jim?" The doctor's voice was breaking in a very uncharacteristic way.

"I'll be right there. Kirk out."

* * *

"You've probably already guessed that we have a slight medical problem," McCoy said, looking curiously at his captain's face. It had always been youthful, but now he looked like a 15-year-old.

"What's going on, Bones? My communications officer and my yeoman are giggling on the bridge like school girls, and I saw two men from engineering fighting in the corridor on my way here. It's almost as if everybody suddenly went back to puberty."

"Your diagnosis is right on the spot, Captain. What the hell do you need me for?"

Kirk opened his mouth to answer, but McCoy quickly cut him off. "I know, to answer that would take you a week." He winked. "The fact is, when we picked up the refugees from Earth Colony 4, we also picked up a virus that's endemic on that planet. It affects the human hormonal system in such a way that the patient, regardless of age, is thrown into puberty. Inevitably and indefinitely."

This confirmed Kirk's fears. "You have to find a cure, Bones. I can't run this ship with a crew of unstable teenagers."

"And an unstable teenager might not be the best starship captain, either," McCoy pointed out. "Yes, we're working on a cure, and I think we're on to something. But it will take a couple of days, perhaps weeks, who knows? Meanwhile, this ship's in quarantine."

"I see." Kirk rubbed his eyes and judged the situation. It could have been worse; aside from escorting the EC4 refugees to Starbase 11, they had no assignments that couldn't wait. "Why don't you get Spock to help you? With his different biology, he might not be affected by all this. He should be able to work fast without ogling the lab assistants."

The doctor sighed. "That's an even bigger problem. I'm afraid Spock's human heritage has betrayed him. He's got the virus, but now he's got the worst of both worlds: Because of his Vulcan heritage, it's affecting him in a very different ... very particular way."

Kirk was horrified. "You don't mean – "

The doctor nodded wearily. "It's his time of the decade again."

"And we're not anywhere near Vulcan – and even if we were, the ship's in quarantine."

McCoy nodded again. Meanwhile, one of the nurses broke into tears, another was bending over to show her best side to the doctor, and the rest were blushing and giggling uncontrollably.

"Will Spock be able to hold on until you find a cure?" Kirk asked, deeply worried.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Jim."

Kirk stated the obvious: "We don't want to lose him, Bones."

And then the intruder alert sounded.

* * *

"Harry Mudd, you old rascal!"

"Good to see you too, Jimmy-boy."

"Don't you Jimmy-boy me." Kirk wished his voice would stop breaking. "You beamed yourself aboard against explicit instructions. You knew the ship was in quarantine."

"Oh, come now, it was an emergency. I had some ... former business partners coming after me, and they were threatening to use violence! Against me, can you imagine? They must've gone mad for some reason."

"Captain, this man is wanted by the legal authorities in seven solar systems," a security officer reported.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Kirk turned his attention back to Mudd. "By imposing yourself on us, you are putting yourself and your companions in danger."

"I heard about that darned virus, but I'll take my chances, and as for my companions ... " Mudd smiled broadly under his generous moustache. "Sheila and Leela aren't catching any viruses. They are the perfect women – they're androids. My new, improved model."

"Jim, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" McCoy hissed.

Kirk thought quickly. "Mr. Mudd ... "

"By all means, call me Harry. We're old friends, aren't we?"

"Mr. Mudd," Kirk pronounced elaborately, "I propose an agreement."

"You mean a deal?" Brown eyes sparkled with anticipation.

"If you like. We are prepared to overlook your intrusion as well as your criminal record, and quietly take you to the planet or starbase of your choice, if you will donate these androids to us."

Harry Mudd's already big, round eyes widened. "This must be a darned troublesome virus you got here, Jimmy-boy. I hear you're all behaving like horny teenagers, but couldn't you solve that problem among yourselves?"

Kirk offered a reluctant explanation. "For one of us, it's become a matter of life and death. And I don't want to risk a member of my crew to ... solve his problem."

Understanding dawned in Mudd's jovial face. "Your Vulcanian officer, I presume." He nodded thoughtfully, then looked cheerfully at Kirk. "For the sake of our great friendship, I will be happy to sacrifice my lovely companions and save your science officer's life." Before anybody could burst out crying at this touching offer, he added: "I would prefer to beam down to Rigel II, where I have good friends."

"Partners in crime, no doubt," McCoy muttered, but Kirk was even more impatient than usual and couldn't wait to make sure Spock would survive. "We have a deal, Mr. Mudd."

* * *

Kirk, McCoy, Mudd and the two truly ravishing androids Sheila and Leela formed a rescue party and headed for Spock's quarters. Two security guards were at the door with orders to discourage anyone who tried to enter.

Kirk nodded to the guards and overrode the lock.

"Spock," he said in an adolescent version of his command voice. "Good news. Two lovely ladies are here to ... " He gestured helplessly. "To see you through this difficult time of yours. "

The dark shape that was crouching in a corner only growled.

"It's OK," Kirk explained, trying to sound convincing. "The ladies are very willing and very ... robust. You don't have to worry about harming them."

The crouching shape rose with the frightening speed of a Vulcan male in pon farr.

"If I want anything, I will ask for it!"

Spock grabbed the android women and hurled them out of his cabin as if they were two bowls of plomeek soup. He then grabbed the person next at hand, who happened to be Harry Mudd, and shook him mercilessly.

"Women you bring me!" he raged. "Would I touch a woman after what she who was my wife did? Is that what you think?"

He lifted Mudd by the collar of his loose-fitting shirt and shook him again. "Women!" he roared. "Untrustworthy creatures! I am sick of them! This time, I shall quench my fire in a man!"

The healthy color had vanished from Mudd's face when Spock put him down. "This man stays here," Spock said, his voice uneven but low, shaking with the last remnants of his self-control. "You will leave now," he told Kirk and McCoy, "or I shall surely break his neck."

"He'll die, Jim," McCoy warned.

"Spock ... " Kirk pleaded. Recognizing the blood fever in the Vulcan's eyes, he thought better of it. "Please be careful with him."

"Yes, please be careful," Mudd echoed.

McCoy was struck by a thought. "Harry, do you still carry that Venus drug?"

Mudd trembled in Spock's grip and nodded silently.

"Then for god's sake, take it, man! You said it made a woman more rounded and a man more muscular. You're gonna need all the muscle and all the strength you can get, legally or illegally."

This seemed to get through to Mudd, who stared into Spock's burning eyes with naked fear. "If you'll permit it, Mr. Spock ... ? I have a couple of crystals in my pocket." He glanced at the doctor. "Solely for medical purposes, of course."

"Take them", Spock rasped, only shifting his grip enough to let Mudd reach into his pocket.

Before the surprised eyes of Kirk and McCoy, Harry Mudd transformed into a strapping hunk of a male, with a flowing mane of sandy hair and without the laughable moustache.

"Looking good, Harry," Kirk noted.

"This one will do," Spock purred. He ripped off Mudd's shirt easily, revealing a smooth, muscular chest. He ran his hands over it and almost-grinned when the rosy nipples hardened under his touch. "Yes, this one will do nicely."

"I'll do my very best," husked the piece of beefcake that was Harry Mudd.

McCoy frowned at the tone of his voice. "Harry?"

The man tore his eyes away from his Vulcan admirer. He was still locked in a tight embrace, putting up absolutely no resistance. "What ... you still here?"

McCoy looked at the couple in disbelief. "Nothing ... Wait, here." He tossed a tube from his medical kit towards Mudd, but Spock caught it first. "Use it liberally," McCoy adviced.

Kirk gently nudged the doctor's arm. "C'mon, Bones, we gotta mind the store."

* * *

Alone at last with the Vulcan, Harry Mudd threw his head back to receive a burning kiss and shivered when his naked skin was claimed by feverish fingers.

"I burn, Harcourt Fenton Mudd. My blood is on fire."

"Please, just call me Harry."

* * *

In sickbay, McCoy was taking a break in his office.

"Well, whaddaya know, Jim? Seems that Venus thing doesn't just change your apperance – it boosts the sex drive to unknown heights. Harry looked as if it had always been his secret dream to serve a Vulcan male in heat."

"I hope Spock won't hurt him," Kirk worried. "He's a scoundrel, but we made a deal, and now I'm responsible for him."

"Nah, he'll be OK. A little sore maybe, but OK. And Spock will live." McCoy's tired face brightened a little. "With a bit of luck, Harry won't even be sore. That lube I gave them contains an analgesic."

Kirk leaned closer to the doctor. "Now that you mention it ... I hope it wasn't from our private stash."

McCoy wrapped his arms firmly around his captain. "Don't worry, Jim, I would never do anything to dull your senses. I want you to feel exactly what I do to you ... I want you to enjoy every inch that I'm gonna give you tonight."

Kirk smiled at his lover, eyes half closed. "Do you know what you're doing to me when you talk like that?"

"Yes. Door lock."

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