Amazing how in Slightly Amusing's three year history I never thought until now that you all must be dying to know about what I'm like- what makes me tick- what bands I like- whether my garage has two doors or one- whether or not I know how to make macaroni and cheese. That kind of stuff.
I'll start with a description of myself, complete with website images and links to give you a better idea of EXACTLY how I look. I have jet black hair that stretches past my shoulders and waves in the summer breeze as I drive past docile cow pastures. I will never be caught not wearing an Armani suit, although at time I like to mix it up by wearing neon green shoelaces. My teeth are like perfectly white gum chiclets squished together in a medium sized mouth. My eyes are brown as the chestnuts that roast over an open fire described in the classic Nat King Cole tune "The Christmas Song." I have an abundance of body hair, but not too much. My nose does not look like this guy's (which is always a plus). I guess that about covers it except to mention my pythons, my washboard abs, and my muscly buns.
You can't lose with favorites. That's why I'll discuss all of my favorites here.
FAVORITES (first three are in order of greatness)
BANDS: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Beastie Boys, Nine Inch Nails, Presidents of the United States of America, Smashing Pumpkins, Weird Al Yankovic
FAST FOOD PLACES: Burger King, Rally's, Jack in the Box
PETS: Dogs, gerbils, ferrets
NUMBERS:23 (representin' Michael Jordan!), dirty thirty, 12
COLOR SCHEMES: Blue and orange, maroon and yellow, green and white, red 'n black (don't turn your back on the Wolfpac)
SPORTS TEAMS: Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals, St. Louis Rams, Chicago Bears, Jacksonville Jaguars
CONDIMENTS: Mayonnaise, ranch sauce/dressing, croutons, bacon bits
ELEMENTS: Sulfur (it stinks), phosphorus (it explodes), unununium (it has three "un's" in its name- you can't beat that)
NAMES FOR BIG TEDDY BEARS: Gus, Kevin, John Madden
FOREIGN COUNTRIES: New Zealand, Nigeria (if it's good enough for scam artists, it's good enough for me), Switzerland
LETTERS: J, K, P
SPORTS: Baseball, football, poker (it must be a sport if it's on ESPN)
About Me: Volume 2
Alright, that's all for now. Until next time, see ya later home fry!
