NO Divorce!

"In Heaven There Is No Beer; That's Why We Drink It Here" (?)

You might have heard those questionable lyrics from a bunch of half-soused German groupies imbibing in their fill of Oktoberfest drinks.

But, in fact, will there actually be no beer, nor wine, nor whiskey, nor vodka, etc. in Heaven?

This webauthor has read through the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation (with no pseudo-scriptural Apocrapha included)....and he has never seen any passage or verse stating that there definitely will NOT be beer in heaven. Knowing that Jesus made the best wine (and it was wine one could get drunk on if enough was ingested in a short-enough time, and not merely "grape juice"), suffice it to say that "eye has not seen, nor ear heard" (nor also perhaps has tongue tasted) what God has prepared for those who love Him. Added to that, Saint Paul commanded Timmy in the New Testament to "drink a LITTLE wine for the sake of your stomach and frequent ailments." What part of "little" do us readers not understand? Sipping a little wine from a tiny communion cup makes NO one drunk and stagger, nor does it entice or coerce anyone to then try to solve all his or her problems by becoming an alcoholic. Any baptists or others of their ilk who disagree will simply have to "get a life, "get with the program," and legalistically continue on with their personally-restricted Coke and Sprite.

Christ as God also made Adam and Eve nude from the start. Does that mean there will be naked-cherub babes with little wings flying around above people in Paradise? One would wonder if such child porn would really be necessary or enjoyable for the adult angelic. I imagine that some weirdos would get their jollies lusting with such things.

But what about erotic total top-of-head to soles-of-feet nudity of puberty-aged and somewhat-older adults, especially facially-attractive and well-proportioned slender young women in Heaven? Christ the Creator who started out our ancestral parents completely naked in Eden must like the idea, and certainly one should not accuse Jesus of having a dirty mind in the filthy gutter of immodest and indecent obscenity. Acts 1:10 plus Revelation 7:9 and 13 states that there will be those in Heaven clad in "white robes" (with the assumption, I guess, that such will not be shortened to any length). Ever since God clothed Adam and Eve in coats according to Genesis 3:21, Jesus blessed those who clothed the naked in Matthew 25:36, the Mark 5:15/Luke 8:35 cured demonic was clothed and in his right mind, Paul wanted to be further clothed in II Corinthians 5:4, we get the impression that we'd better enjoy all the human nudity we can now in this life before continuing on eternally in Heaven without it. However, Revelation 19:8 tells us that the Bride's "fine linen" is righteous deeds of the saints - not dacron, rayon, cotton, silk or wool pertaining to hairstyle, armwear, legwear, footwear and more.

Concerning (and not regarding) heterosexual PUBLIC nudity, Scripture contains absolutely NO specific graphic examples of that. There are no instances of legitimate bigamous nor fornicative threesome sex (multiple men going into the same woman) in the Bible. In contrast, there are many examples of men legitimately going into multiple women (in the polygamous but not bigamous cases of Lamech, Abraham, Jacob, Elkanah, David, Solomon, etc.). Deuteronomy 21:15 tells us what to do in the case of a guy having two wives.

In the case of Ruth the Moabitess, there is no indication whatsoever that Ruth's first husband who died (before she became the wife of Boaz) ever had sex with her before he died (and the expression 'Don't Assume' applies here as it does with many other non-imagined/non-exaggerated happenings in the Bible!). In other words, it is not impossible she was a virgin when Boaz helped her become part of Christ's holy geneology. Luke 2:36 tells us that old-aged Anna the prophetess "lived with her husband seven years from her virginity." When Saint Paul mentions a widow re-marrying in Romans 7:3 and I Corinthians 7:39, he is not suggesting that she have sex with the second husband, but simply to belong to him as a sort of guardian or caretaker. Indeed, in I Timothy 5:11-12 Paul orders the church to refuse young widows who grow wanton against Christ and desire to re-marry, thus "violating their first pledge."

Now, I realize that in Hosea chapter 3 the Lord told Hosea to love a woman who was an adulteress and beloved by a paramour, which adulteress he bought for a small price but then instructed her to live with him a while and not play the harlot during that time. Notice that there is no mention Hosea ever had sex with that one, though he did have sex with the Hosea 1:2 Gomer who was a "wife of harlotry" (whatever that means), being that they produced children together. Clearly, Hosea would never have qualified as an Old-Testament high priest, which high priests were forbidden from taking a sexually-used woman as wife for themselves.

Luke 20:35 states that those "who are accounted worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage." That tidbit plus the celibacy-preferred recommendation of Paul in I Corinthians chapter 7 causes shamefully-prudish catholics to forbid their priests from marrying - thus causing all sorts of secret fornication with similarly misminded but sexually-starving nuns and secret paederistic sodomy with little altar boys. Some of that anti-marriage immentality has resulted in such modern-pseudobible mistranslations as "It is good for a man to not marry" (one misrendition of I Corinthians 7:1) propagated by those "whose consciences are seared and forbid marriage" (I Timothy 4:1-5), to the financial benefit of masseuse/escort fornicators and fornicatresses and the self-righteous pimps in deviant association with them. Such catholics fail to take into consideration the entirety of a physical and sexual application of the Song of Solomon, the I Corinthians chapter 7 admonition of Paul to have one's own spouse if one realistically cannot exercise GENUINE and ETERNALLY-CONSISTENT abstinence, plus the order of God though Paul for bishops and deacons to "be the husband of one wife" (I Timothy 3:2, 3:12, and Titus 1:6)...and He did not mean that in a merely symbolic, non-physical spiritual, figurative, allegorical nor metaphorical sense!

And does death dissolve a marriage? Does the wedding nuptial vows pronouncement of "...till death us do part" mean that death of one or both of the spouses terminates the marriage forever? Sort of flies in the face of the other words: "...what God has joined together, let no man split asunder." Why should death cause the equivalent of an automatic divorce? A married couple is married as long as they both shall live....and both shall live forever (both in Heaven, hopefully). That is good cause to not be "disequally yoked together with disbelievers" (II Corinthians 6:14) so that both continue on in Heaven together instead of one of the spouses forever being in Heaven and the other in Hell. Matthew 22:30, relating to those in the resurrection who neither marry nor are given in marriage and who are like angels, does not state that those who were married will then be divorced. Relating to angelic nudity and sex, those who have sucked milk from tits in this life will eventually chew non-bloody exquisitely-savory T-bone steaks in the next.

"Get what you can while the gettin's good, cause you only go around once."