I've been a little unfair in these pages to a certain, fairly inoffensive car, and I feel rotten because everyone else is nasty to it as well.I feel it's time to make amends to the Peugeot 309.
First of all though, just why does no-one like it? Jeremy Clarkson once called it a "dog," Practical Classics magazine has called it "compromised" (and then only as an aside in a paragraph about the Talbot Tagora in an article about failed cars) and the only time I've ever heard someone be nice to one in public was when James Ruppert praised them on Channel 4's Driven for being a sensible, practical and above all extremely cheap form of transport according to his "Bangernomics" theory.
Practical Classics had a point. The 309 was never a high-priority project for the new PSA company; Peugeot's range had dwindled to almost nothing so it was rushed in to replace the truly ancient 305 with mainly Chrysler/Talbot/Simca Alpine/1307-1308 running gear, parts-bin switchgear, an engine based on an ancient Simca design and doors from its little brother, the 205. Look closely and you can find Talbot badges and Citroen double chevrons on various components. There can't have been very many new cars on sale in 1992 with drum brakes - even if only on the back.
The 309's other great problem was the fantastic success of its little brother. People liked the 205 anyway - the stylish little runabout had an enormous following in its native France and quite a strong one over here. Then came the GTi. The age of affordable sports cars and roadsters like the MGB was well and truly over by the early eighties, but Volkswagen had (albeit inadvertantly) come up with a successor to the breed; the Golf GTi. The Golf GTi was bloody good, but the 205 GTi was better. Everyone who's driven one loves them, and they're still highly thought of even by the modern car magazines. The halo effect of the GTi meant that any 205 was cool (maybe even the unfortunately-badged "STD" version) but rather than being excited by a new car from Peugeot, no-one even seemed to notice the bigger 309's launch.
Clarkson was wrong though. The 309 was anything but a dog.
It's 1984. Picture the scene. The family hatchback is still a relatively young breed; VW's Golf was one of the first and the MkII version has just been launched. It's still about the best of the crop but the interior's as dark as a closed-down coalpit and it's put on weight since Giugiaro penned the original. Citroen's GSA (a better and more modern car than the 309 in many ways, but a more expensive one) is about to breath its last; it's getting long in the tooth and such cuddly weirdness just isn't the done thing in Thatcher's harsh new world. Its replacement, the BX, is another good car but still a little too weirdly styled and unconventionally engineered for conservative British tastes. Volvo's cart-sprung 340 is doing well. Austin is still just about hanging on but the dumpy Maestro is a poor effort - and the build quality wasn't so good. When was the last time you saw one? The best Italy has to offer is the smaller and frailer Fiat Uno; the more comparable Tipo is still a couple of years away. Most Japanese cars are still ugly, badly built and no better than the cheaper homegrown opposition. Even so; this class of car had come an enormously long way in recent years. The frankly crap Hillman Avengers, Morris Marinas and Fiat Stradas of the 70s are still frighteningly fresh in buyers' memories. No; Peugeot's biggest competitor was the Mk III Escort. It was a vast improvement on the Mk II, but styling was just dull next to the 309's discreet good looks. Even standard 309s were quicker and contemporary road tests generally chose the 309 as the better driver's car. Interior accommodation was bigger and better appointed, and build quality was worlds better. Ever seen a rusty 309?
There was even a 309 GTi. Mechanically similar, it was every bit as good as the 205 and with more space inside. However, it never really caught on in Britain. These days, this is an advantage; you can pick them up quite cheap, compared to 205 GTis, and they're less likely to have been messed with by incompetent teenage "tuners" than 205s or Escort XR3is. Or for more discreet, four-door fun, why not pick a 1.9 turbodiesel? These motors propelled Citroen XMs quickly enough; in something the weight of a 309 (lighter than a Vauxhall Corsa) they fly and have enough torque to tow a house.
Okay, so the vast majority of Peugeot 309s are bog standard GL models, bought for school runs, trips to the supermarket and occasional family holidays. But they did that job with the very best of efficiency - and despite the model's failings it lasted the best part of a decade, with just one facelift, until it was replaced by the 306 which motoring magazines loved for its style, good packaging and handling right up until its demise this year.
My mum's had her 1986 1.3GR since it was eighteen months old. The first time I saw it, I was being picked up from Cubs in it; later I learned to drive in it. I once drove it all the way around the M25. When I was a student, I helped a friend move house in it - from Canterbury to Eastbourne. We've carried a garden bench, a flat-pack wardrobe and many Christmas trees in it. Despite its humble shopping-car status, it's the quickest thing I regularly drive. Mum tends to neglect it, but despite that it very rarely lets her down. It's on its original suspension all round and although the handling's a little sloppy it doesn't bounce. It recently passed the 100,000 mile mark and it's never been welded, never had the engine out. The only rust it's ever shown has been on the surface where the paint's been stonechipped. If it collapsed into a heap of bits now it wouldn't owe her anything; but it feels perfectly solid and should go on for thousands of miles yet.
The only time it's ever let me down, it had run out of petrol. Mum knew the gauge wasn't working, but had forgotten to tell me.
Oh; and once when visiting friends. It cut out in front of their flat at the end of a 90 mile journey and refused to restart, having to be pushed into a parking space. It was fine the next morning though.
Its only major failing is a tendency to eat rotor arms, but nobody's perfect.
James Ruppert's got the the right idea. 309s are cheap, reliable, stylish (for an 80s family car), and (again for its time) quite naughtily fast with any engine but the 1.1. Buy one tomorrow, before they all get thrown away in favour of a nice new 307 (which looks like a van).
Since this was written, I have seen another article, this time in a local newspaper, in which someone got a 309 for free and used it as an everyday car until it died. Mum's still hasn't broken down, but it does still handle like a bouncy, understeery thing. Who cares though? Free cars! Should be encouraged!