Oh dear... what have I done? Sally went to the nice-but-mad Chris Salter when I was short of both money and parking space a few months ago, and this week he offered me Deirdre, his blue GSA, as a free replacement (following some Saab suspension problems).
So, my friend Tim drove me down to Egham (why do I always get cars from West London?) to look at it today. I must admit, at first glance I thought I was going to walk away - the paint was really shabby, there were huge gaping holes in the front door bottoms, the exhaust was blowing and the driver's side windscreen wiper didn't work.
We then spent about three hours trying to start it. Let's gloss over tales of failed jump starts, completely buggered motorbike batteries, and burning jump leads.
When Deirdre finally started, Tim and I drove her round the depot a few times, with enormous grins on our faces. That was the decision - she was coming home with us.
By the time we'd refreshed ourselves with steak and ale pie in the nearest pub, bought a new battery and gone to collect her it was almost dark and beginning to rain. Lots of no-fun, given that only the passenger windscreen wiper worked. Anyway, the rain eased off so it wasn't too bad and we made it about half way home before deciding to stop, wipe all the windows and have a tea-and-pee break. Bad idea. This was where we discovered Deidre's hot-starting problem. We waited about an hour, by which time she started on the button but the rain had really set in. We abandoned her, went home in the MGB support car (which had also decided to throw a wobbler and refuse to start due to a loose LT lead - no fun when it's pouring) and went to the pub.
Big thanks to Chris not only for giving me such a fun car, but also even going to the lengths of phoning later in the evening to check we'd got home safe. What a great bloke. By the way, the hot-starting problem was news to him, so the next item on the agenda (after fixing the wiper) is to check over the whole ignition system.
1-12-02
Well, we had a couple of hours when it didn't rain today so I got Deirdre home. She's a lovely drive, with just-rebuilt 1299cc engine and 5-speed box, but the ride is a little firmer than Sally's (needs new spheres) and it does smell... I also had a look in the Haynes manual and discovered that it's going to take forever to get to the wiper linkage. Hey ho.
7-12-02 and 8-12-02
Temperatures this weekend dropped to 1 degree centigrade, less if you take into account wind-chill factor. It hardly ever stopped raining. I don't have a garage to work in. My throat feels... scratchy, I think is the best word, and I've barely stopped blowing my nose since Sunday.
Anyway, that's enough about me, what about the car? Well, getting to the wiper linkage was easier to get to than the manual had led us to believe (apart from rusty bolts that had to be drilled out), but the mechanism itself is typically Heath Robinson. Citroen think that circlips are strong enough to hold wiper spindles in place. We didn't, and we were right - the driver's side one dropped down inside the car. No problem - drill through the spindle and use a split pin instead. Problem solved. We left the passenger one though - if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
More problems arrived when I put the airvent panel back on. I put it in place without bolting it down and tested the wipers one more time. They got half way across the screen and then stopped. I twiddled the switch a few more times, and they finally went back - as the air vent panel sprang up in the air and back down again! I took it off and made a discovery. There's a panel glued to it, presumably to protect the heater air intake from rain. Mine had sprung away so that it was no longer parallel to the main panel. This is presumably why the wiper linkage broke in the first place! A quick look at the Chevronics website told me that a replacement panel would be £95 more than the car cost me, so I glued it back together with Bison.
The raucous exhaust turned out to be even more difficult. The hole's in the Y-pipe, so we went through the usual ritual: take the clamp off, go to Halfords to get a bandage, realise that the bandage doesn't really fit, bodge it all up anyway, run out of light, put the clamp back on in the middle of the night and freezing cold, start the engine and it still chuffs. One day we'll miss out the whole "go to Halfords" bit. A new Y-pipe is in the post, for only slightly more than the cost of the bandage and exhaust putty.
Oh - and while we were under there we found a hole. A big one.
On the upside, I did cure the horrible musty smell simply by throwing the rotten boot carpet away.
12-12-02
With the air vent panel nicely glued back together, I put it back on and replaced the wiper arms. Of course, the passenger side spindle dropped into the car as well, so that also got drilled and split-pinned. All straightforward apart from that though, both wipers work again, and Deirdre is one step closer to an MoT!
2-1-03
I've taken a couple of days off work to get the car MoT'd (it was Tim's idea, therefore his fault, therefore he has to come and help me) and we got one step closer today, by fixing the rear numberplate lights. We didn't get the new exhaust on though, as the car's standing in a puddle of water - which could also explain why it was full of mould. Yuk. I'll tell you everything about that bloody exhaust when I finally get the new one on.
13-1-03
New sodding rotor arm and dizzy cap don't sodding fit. Bloody Frogs. Car covered in snow. Leather steering wheel cover naff but useful. New radio works well but I've gone deaf.
21-1-03
We're almost there. An MoT following having the exhaust fitted properly (I'm never touching an exhaust again, always pay a man to do it), four new tyres (correct sized 145x15s, but Firestones rather than the proper Michelins), a sidelight bulb (which was working when I took the car in, I swear), headlamp adjustment and refitting a loose steering gaiter, and it didn't quite pass. There's nothing left except some welding in the front wheelarch (a little too close to the subframe for comfort) and a tune - its hydrocarbons are twice the legal limit and performance is way lower than it should be.
Still, it was great to be driving a G again, even if only to the test centre and back - I'd forgotten how nice they were to drive.
25-2-03
Some bad luck with this one. I took her into a garage to fix the exhaust and hydrocarbons, but not much got done. I finally gave up and went and got her back. At least the welding's been done though, for a mere £150, by the wonderful AR Bewsey (01689 821663) in Orpington.
8-3-03
Finally, it was time to get those few last little jobs done for the MoT. My usual trusty local mechanic didn't want to touch it (G-series are notoriously difficult to work on and he felt he'd wasted enough of his life on them in the '70s) so he recommended Phil Wells Engineering (01959 532545), a local Citroen specialist. Phil re-hung my exhaust, tuned the carb to pass the emissions test and discovered and replaced a knackered drive shaft gaiter. The final bill came to £332.53. That was mainly labour - he had to remove the front section of the car, headlamps, grille and undertray, just to reach the front of the exhaust.
The drive home made that big bill worthwhile though - the car was just magic. I love Gs!
Or at least, I did until the windscreen washer pump packed up - yet another delay to the MoT...
15-3-03
I ordered a new washer pump from Chevronics, then decided to go and have a look at mine. I cleaned up all the contacts, and it managed to spray the windscreen. Not terribly enthuiastically, so I'm glad a new pumps's on its way, but enough to pass the MoT. Of course, then I couldn't get the car started as it's been standing so long, but a jump-start from the 309 had us on our way. A pass, a new tax disc and here we go - I'm finally road-legal and have my own transport again! No more having to ask mum if I can borrow her horrible shopping trolley, I've got a proper car again! And I love it!
22-3-03
Oh well - it had to happen. My first call to the breakdown service. I was filling up with petrol (100 miles away from home, during a weekend that saw me cover 325 miles home-Southampton-Maidenhead-Oxford-Acton-home) when petrol started gushing out from the underside of the car. Scary stuff, but it soon stopped so I guessed the filler pipe had split, not the tank itself. I didn't happen to have any spare pipe on me though, so I called my breakdown service. The extremely helpful and efficient man arrived within about 20 minutes, found the split pipe, replaced it and sent me on my way - what a gent!
These cars are prone to fuel-pipe problems. If you have a G-series, please check all your rubber fuel pipes now. If the one leading to the carb goes, it spills petrol all over the hot manifold - not good!
April 2003
So, after all that hard work I did have just one really memorable road trip in the GSA. All the way to Scotland and back in one weekend with my girlfriend and one of her friends. We stayed in Edinburgh, a beautiful city, but also took a trip up to the lochs. This photo was taken by Loch Lomond, just to prove that it made it.
Well over 1000 miles in one long weekend, and no problems except that the exhaust started blowing again. Back to P Wells...
10-8-03
Well, lots has gone wrong with the car lately but I've been too annoyed to write about it... basically, it's got this awful intermittent problem where sometimes it runs fine and sometimes it runs like a pig and doesn't have enough power to move. I've been living with this since a very embarrassing episode picking up my girlfriend's sister from Victoria (her first time in the UK and we break down in Lewisham...) but after having to leave Deirdre in the work car park for two weeks because she didn't have the power to get up the ramp I decided she had to go. Back to the redoutable Chris Salter, previous owner and general G-saviour.
I took this "happy new owner" photo.
Then she got about a quarter of a mile before breaking down. It's a ridiculously hot day and Chris couldn't get through to the RAC so I towed them home behind the faithful 309. That bloody car's still bloody here!
14-12-03
Yes! It's finally gone! On the back of an RAC truck...