Well, how could I resist a big, comfy, German fat-bloke's car with electric windows, power steering and - this is the important bit - that five-cylinder engine they used in the Audi coupe and quattro, all for a hundred and one quid?
From the description it sounds like a slightly shabby but in good-condition-for-age and well-maintained older car. I don't really know anything about these cars, but the well-written description and that engine, coupled with the condition, prompted me to bid. This is the first time I've bought a car off ebay, and it feels a bit weird owning a car that I haven't seen yet! I won't know what I've bought until I pick it up...
16th April 2005
Took the train to Pevensey (including a section on a lovely original green-painted British Railways Mark 1 Diesel) to pick up the motor.
Our first sight of it was swooshing into the station car park to pick us up - looking slightly battered, but making a lovely five-cylinder noise. We did the deal, and I got my first taste of driving a VW.
We drove back along the A259 to Canterbury, one of my favourite routes, just stopping to eat some fresh mussels on the beach at Hastings.
The car itself is a lovely drive. It's got a very comfy ride, pitching back and forth over bumps like a boat, but doesn't roll much through the corners and handles pretty positively for such a big, softly-sprung car. The 2 litre, 5-cylinder motor is an absolute delight. It accelerates hard, makes a nice noise and has absolutely loads of torque, torque everywhere. It doesn't matter what gear you're in, it'll accelerate anyway - up a hill in overdriven fifth, no problem. The nose lifts and you're away!
Inspecting it a bit closer on my return home, I was even more impressed. I've never owned a car that didn't have holes in it before, but I can't find a single one on the Passat. It's got some bits of surface rust here and there, but compared to my GSAs you can safely say it's rust free. The engine compartment's clean and has obviously always been properly serviced. Early days yet, but I think I've bagged a bargain!
22nd May 2005
Driving home over a hump-backed railway bridge, with a long incline down to a T-junction. Pressed the brake... and the pedal went all the way to the floor. Pumped it, pressed as hard as I could, and with the help of a gentle tug on the handbrake we came to a halt at the T-junction. Drove home slowly, no problems with the brakes at all. Hmm. So I did the obvious thing and fixed the headlamp.
The nearside headlamp and foglamp have been loose since I got the car, fixed at the top but wibbling about at the bottom. It seems that the adjustment screws fix to the lamp units by means of a sort of nylon or plastic lug, which has disintegrated over the years. Oddly, the offside ones are absolutely fine. I replaced these lugs with a bolt and a couple of washers, the bolt acting as a locknut against the lamp fitting.
I had to get the grille off to reach; it would have been easier to remove the lamp fitting, but the screws were all rusted and I couldn't be bothered to drill them out. Again, on the offside the screwheads are like new. This can happen when a car's always been parked in a paticular way (the Rover is far rustier and more faded on one side than the other, from spending six years parked against a fence) but the Passat's had seven owners in 20 years - it would be odd if that were the case.
I will get the brakes fixed soon, I promise. I'm not driving it until I do.
27th May 2005
There's a garage just up the road from my office which I've used before, and which always has nice old cars in - this time there was a beautiful E-Type Jag. So I thought they'd be competent, and old car friendly. I took the Passat in, explained about the fluid loss and pedal going to the floor, and they responded by changing the front brake pads and topping up the engine oil, all for a mere £89.60. I am more than slightly suspicious, but they assure me that they've done all conceivable tests and found no evidence of a brake problem, so I book an MoT with them - confident that it will, therefore, pass on brakes if nothing else.
7th June 2005
That MoT
It failed on... [drum roll]... suspension bushes and...[longer drum roll]... a brake fluid leak, from the rear brake load valve! Front tyres too, but I can forgive that. So why did the garage not spot the leak - which is, incidentally, pissing brake fluid everywhere on the side of the car that I don't see when I park it, last week? And can I have my ninety quid back? Er, no. In fact, I get to pay an extra £43 for the MoT test. And a quote of around £400 to pass it.
15th June 2005
I feel that my office is not quite masculine enough... so I fill it with bits of Volkswagen! Bushes and brake bits for a grand total of £77.91. Now if only I can do the work myself I will have saved well... lots.
18th June 2005
The Spannering
I'm very sorry I didn't take my digital camera with me, round to the mate's house where I was working - I don't have a drive of my own just now. So no photos, which is a shame because I think we did some pretty impressive work.
The suspension on my car is not quite the same as that shown in the Haynes manual, but after a bit of head-scratching we managed to get the anti-roll bar and front wishbones out. It went surprisingly well: working on the Rover is always a marathon of finding rusty bolts, drilling them out, and getting rust in your eyes but the Passat came apart quite easily. The bushes really were knackered; the inserts just fell out and we were able to hacksaw through the remains without too much difficulty. Getting the new ones in required a vice though, and the helpful motorbike dealership (01227 766267) on Broad Oak Road were happy to to that for the price of a pint. Thanks guys!
Putting the whole lot back together took minutes. Sadly - because of all the headscratching earlier on - we didn't then have time to do the rear axle bushes, and we didn't do the brakes because I'd been sent a brake regulator from a 1996-on car - not much help on something of '83 vintage. Booo!
Friday 24th June 2005
Having run out of time and not having the right part last weekend, I took the Passat into a local garage (one which I've never used before, but you just have to take the chance sometimes) at 8am yesterday for those last jobs - the rear axle bushes and brake load regulator. They called me after four o'clock yesterday to say that they hadn't done anything because they couldn't find the brake part. He had, apparently, spent the whole day on the phone and finally found one for £180, but couldn't get hold of it until next Tuesday. I actually laughed out loud at this, then explained that this was no good as I needed the car at the weekend, so told him to just get on with the bushes and that I would get a load regulator and change it myself on Saturday morning.
VW part giants German, Swedish and French carry them in stock, but local VW specialist Blackman Motors (which I found after about half a minute on Google) had them slightly cheaper (£55) so I went with them and asked for a next-day delivery. They delivered, and I have the part here.
Then the garage called me after four. They haven't done the work on the car. The excuse is that they spent all day yesterday looking for the brake part; and two other cars were causing them problems today. How the hell does it take a professional more than two days to do a routine job like bushes? It took Harris and me an afternoon to do the front ones, but we're not pros and we do mess about, chat and drink a lot of tea. This hasn't actually ruined my weekend, but it does mean that I'm having to go up to London on the coach, which ties me to a particular time, and it means that the Passat won't be going to the Bromley Pageant of Motoring.
Friday, 8th July 2005
Still skint but desperate to get the car on the road for personal reasons - I may need to get up to Bromley in a hurry. So, a pair of second-hand front tyres from a local shonky place (including one comedy Stomil), and into my local Hi-Q to get that brake regulator fitted and an MoT. Joy of joys, a pass! Not too happy about that Stomil, but I'll get proper new ones come pay day. It doesn't need to last long.
Saturday 23rd July 2005.
On the way up the M20, almost back in Bromley, when the front of the car starts vibrating and there's a bang, loud enough that my first thought is that the driveshaft which started rattling last week has broken. The front of the car shakes around but I manage to stay in my lane, and when I see black lumps flying over the bonnet I realise a tyre's burst - my Stomil obviously couldn't take the motorway pace (although it managed Stratford to Brighton a couple of weeks ago!) I pull onto the hard shoulder, and it's a complete mess. I put the spare wheel on and continue, but the car's a wreck - it's vibrating and the wheel's pulling from side-to-side in my hands. I took these photos when I got home, and decided to sell the number plate and scrap the car.
Notice how one of the bumper securing bolts has sheared off, and how dented the wing and sill are. Under those black burnt-rubber marks, the paint has been scraped off down to the metal.
I don't even want estimates for the work - I know it's going to be more than I can afford, and more than the car will ever be worth.
Want to see what caused it? This is the state of the Stomil. The tread had peeled off, right down to the metal banding. Scary stuff.
Wednesday 28th September 2005.
I sold the number on ebay for £185, so had to wait for the new V5 to come through from the DVLA before scrapping it. That arrived Saturday (with a rather cool new number of B888 TEC, incidentally), and Ling Metals came to take the poor old beast away this morning. My road is very narrow so the chap asked me to drive it the 20 yards or so to the main road where he'd parked his rig. The Passat didn't even manage that distance though; it started first time but the handbrake had seized on one wheel. Normally they unstick themselves, but this one was determined: I drove it a car's length then gave up. The man from Ling backed his rig around and winched it up, that wheel still dragging along the road and up the flatbed. I handed over the V5 and off it went. Very sad to see it go; it was a nice car and went before its time.
Oddly, I saw an identical one as I was walking into work; a different colour and a year younger but still a GL5. Recognised it by that lovely noise they make.