8|8|04 Liza

So...went up to the lake today for Jamie and Kieth's party.His friends hit on me -.- It was annoying.They all look like they're 12 and he grew up.His voice changed he's got a lil facial hair goin on n he's bulking up.Oh yeah and he sprouted like,5 inches -.- I'm still taller than Jamie though,so its ok.Don't wanna be as short as her,heh.But yeah.It was a gorgeous day.Perfect weather for the lake but it was a tad chilly so I didn't do the waterskiing or tubing.Was too preoccupied by worrying and a really bad back pain.But anywhoo.Jamie had some of her friends with her that just graduated too.They were all hot =\ Except for the 2 butch lesbians.But yeah.I don't know the guys name but he had a mohawk so I'll call him Hawk and his gf Liza(hence the title today)were really hot.We talked for a little bit n I played with their little boy,James I think his name is.Yeah.Their son.N they just graduated he's already walking.Bleh.I know I should belike "Oh my God they have a kid!" But I'm not.I'm more like "Ugh..I want someone to care about me that much to have a kid with me in highschool and stick around n help take care of them and still love me."But I don't.Blarg.This sucks.So yeah,I was taking some pictures of the lake n I almost started crying while I was thinking about it so "Hawk" rubbed his poofy lil mohawk in my face n knocked me over.Almost fell in the damn lake -.- But it made me smile a bit so I thank him.
Hit my all time low today.Felt so sorry for myself,that I actually sat in the middle of my room and cried for an hour and broke 3 dishes when my mom was at my neighbors.I don't plan on telling her.
She's going away tomorrow.For 3 days...yay...I get the house,to my self,all,to myself.For 3 days =\ Why aren't I as excited about this as I should be?I should be like "Woo party!" But I'm like "Bleh.Lonely*waves flag*."I don't wanna be stuck in my house for 3 days alone with no place to go.Someone was supposed to be staying with me...but I guess that's not happening...meh...life eventually goes on v.v Might take a while and afew deaths before it can happen but someone's life is still goin on.
I love how the songs that usually make you smile n wanna dance are the ones that make you want your childhood blanky that you have in your closet(don't lie >.o) and suck your thumb when you're even a tad depressed.Oh well.I'm charging my camera so I can take some more pictures later and go outside while its still nice out.I feel bad though.Mom's trying to spend time with me since she's leaving tomorrow morning at like 6 am and I don't like to talk to people when I'm upset.Gah.I'm fucking done.I'm done with all of this.I'm just done.
-Suzza

8|6|04 Myrtle Beach

Meh.I miss you >.< So anywhoo.I'm startin to get pretty anxious.My face is so dry from all the shit they put me on.N I'm sooooo nervous >.< For a lotta things.Oh man though.I'm gonna fucking KILL Danny.My brother right.Jamie-his daughter.Keith-his son.Sunday is Keith's birthday party and Jamie's graduation party.Guess what?He's not fucking going.Neither is Mike,my other brother,or Judy,my sister.Great family guys.We never talk to eachother but we're making an effort to go to their party.We're the only fucking people going from this side of this huge family.-.- Great fucking family.But yeah.
My face needs to clear up by then or else I'm gonna be really pissed off n like..not go.No...I wanna go.Its just I look bad enough right now and I don't need to make a fool of myself infront of everyone with a red face.Okay.There's a white stain on my futon...who the hell jacked off on it?!-.- At least it matches the jizz pillow.
Well I got that straighener from Karen(my hair person) n I tried it out today.My hair is PIN STRAIGHT!I fucking love this straightener.Okay so...I don't know.I'm bored.And lonely =\ Meh.Hopefully I'll get over it.I don't know.I have a lot to do before my mom leaves on Sunday.I'm probably gonna be all alone...I'm really,really,really,really hoping I won't be.But I'm not expecting not to be.So if I'm not,I have to clean.Shave.Lose weight.Do laundry.Get...stuff.Yeah.Oh well.Like I said...doubtful I'll need to =\ And I feel like such an asshole for thinking like that.But I don't want to get my hopes up this time.So I'm just gonna try n think negatively so if it does happen I'll be more excited.And if it doesn't...I hopefully won't be as disappointed.Enough of my rambling though.I'm just gonna go or something.Its not worth it.
-Suzza

8|5|04 I'm Gonna Be A Wrestler Someday

Well,I successfully lost 7 pounds.N then what?I get put on steroids for the face thing.Great -.- But yeah.I've decide to cut myself down to 1 meal a day and a small snack.Enough to keep my metabolism up but not enough to add on uneeded calories and such.Face is slowly starting to clear up.Don't know if it'll be gone by Friday though.Hoping it is so I can go out to Tina's.But yeah.It absolutely needs to be gone by Sunday cause I have to go to Keith's birthday party and Jamie's graduation party.Haven't seen them in ages.I'm not looking forward to it though.Danny will probably be there.And Mike.And Judy.I just deffinately don't want to see them.They still have no idea how pissed I am at them.I'm your little sister.Fucking act like the older siblings.Your like 3 times my age and I'm more responsible,mature,and reliable than all of you put together.Anyway.I'm still losing weight.Its hard though with the steroids -.- But yeah.Cocoa butter is my best friend.I don't look too fat anymore.And I'm slowly getting an ass =O But I'm still really chubby.I've made a goal though.Its gonna be hard as hell to get there.But I will be hot by next summer.Or at least as decent as I can get.I'm gonna go walking almost everyday.I'm gonna lose at least 20 pounds.30 if I'm lucky.Quick sidetrack,this song is sad.(Confessions part 2-Usher...stupid insomniac music videos)Anyway back to the goal thing.I'm gonna lose enough weight to look good with a bellyring.I'm gonna try n convince my mom to let me get it.N then I want to get my tongue pierced.But yeah right.Like my mom would let me get that done.She's easygoing with everything except piercings and tattoos.So I really can't complain.She lets me do whatever the hell else I wanna do.
Um.I don't know.But I'm thinking sorta positively lately.Like I feel like I'm at one of those diet seminars."I can!"But haha yeah.What's with all this hip-hop and r&b and such >.< Now its Alicia Keys.But I do like this song.She's fucking gorgeous.Anyway.I think I'm done for now.So I'm gonna get going.Waitin for someone to come online.
-Suzza

8|2|04 Bored So I Write

Sometimes,I feel your touch.
But it hurts me.
Sometimes,I polish.
But no one sees.
Sometimes,I'll cry at night.
And you cant' hear it.
Sometimes,you'll hold me tight.
But I can't feel it.
Sometimes,I'll scream at night.
But its your fault.
Sometimes,I tremble in fright.
But you tell me to be an adult.
Sometimes,I'm a child.
But you hate it.
Sometimes,I'm a child.
And you love it.
Sometimes,I get mad.
And that hurts you.
Sometimes,I get sad.
And you help me.
And sometimes
I know you love me.
And most of the time
I believe it.
But sometimes
I don't.
Today
I'm not sure.

-Suzza

Whose site are you at? o.o;

I am t3h Suzzish.Mhm.The Ugly Fat Annoying 15 Year Old Chick From New York Suzzish.=D Nothing that interesting.<3 you hun

Oh The Magic Clicking

Yada Yada Blah?

Here's some purty buttons to link me to your site.Or yanno you could always just use a text link...