1) Obtain a cellular phone. Programmed to speed dial 911 and perhaps other emergency numbers. Know your exact location at all times in case you have to tell the 911 operator where you are. Check to make sure your cellular phone can provide good reception in the places or locations you frequently go.
2) Don't go out into situations where you may be vulnerable (I.E. out into deserted areas, deserted parking lots, alleyways, and other locations where the stalker could ambush you).
3) Examine your home or apartment surroundings. What’s in your yard that he could use to hide behind and ambush you? Look at bushes, hedges, trees, fountains, clutter, etc.
4) Purchase high quality locks for all home doors and windows. Change all the locks if you suspect your keys have been stolen, It is oftentimes easiest to have a spare set of locks in sealed packages (unopened from the store) in your home already so that you can install them at any time you come home your keys have vanished and you suspect they have been stolen. We all occasionally keep late hours -- after the stores are closed or when we may be too tired to want to go to the store and purchase locks. It's bad enough to have to invest in extra locks and install them in the middle of the night, it's even worse to have to drive to the store and try to buy locks at midnight!
5) Invest in both home and car security systems.
6) Do not drive with your car doors unlocked or your windows 100% rolled down.
7) Learn to trust your instincts. Do not ignore your hackles or sense that the stalker is around.
8) Observe your surroundings and the people moving around in your surroundings at all times.
9) Purchase a multi-phone recording control device from a store like Radio Shack and tape any phone calls the stalker may make to you. Check the equipment before use to ensure that it is functioning. Duplicate all tapes and distribute them in various locations away from your home so that the stalker does not destroy the evidence by breaking into your home.
10) Duplicate any good quality photos you may have of the stalker and distribute these in the same manner and for the same purpose you did the tapes.
11) Place fliers of the stalker with neighbors and others who can watch for him and call the police if he's seen committing suspicious acts around your home.
12) Consider obtaining a Court Order of Protection and/or Restraining Order against the stalker. Be keenly aware of the fact that this court order will NOT prevent him from stalking you or even assaulting or killing you! In fact, the court order may merely make him angrier or it may drive him to perpetrate covert activity rather than overt activity. A Restraining Order is basically only a useful tool for police agencies as it allows them to arrest the stalker promptly if he comes near you. Beyond this the Restraining Order does NOT protect the victim!
13) Purchase a mini-camera and keep it with you at all times so that you can photograph the stalker should he come near you. The mini-disposable cameras work especially well. When photographing the stalker please do keep in mind that he will likely become enraged if he sees you taking pictures of him. Develop the photos and turn copies of them over to the police investigating your stalking case. Keep copies of the photos in a safe place as the police lose evidence.
14) Keep and duplicate any and all e-mails and letters you get from your stalker. Give copies to the police department.
15) Photograph all evidence of stalking related vandalism at your home. Give copies to the police.
16) Report all significant incidents of stalking and stalking related crimes. Be aware that if you report too many real stalking incidents the police will likely decide that you are insane. Blaming the victim, in many ways, is one of the largest problems in stalking cases.
17) Learn self-defense.
18) Purchase and learn how to use a weapon effectively. Remember your stalker is likely following you to and from the shooting range. Since the stalker knows you are now armed he is likely to take this into consideration when he plans an assault on you.
19) Purchase pepper spray and perhaps an air-taser.
20) Be ready and willing to use any weapon you invest in.
21) Take inventory of your homes indoor condition and general appearance before leaving so that you may know if he may have entered your home while you were away.
22) Be prepared for bizarre acts of stalking criminal activity. Stalker's crimes are not usually main stream types of acts.
23) Realize he will likely follow you to the homes of friends and relatives. Notify friends and relatives of your situation and provide them with photos whenever possible.
24) Alter your life routines frequently. Do not drive the same way to and from work or other functions every day. You want to keep the stalker as ignorant of your routines as possible.
25) Watch pets and children carefully. Notify your children's school of the existence of the stalker and provide them with photos, a copy of the Restraining Order and other pertinent documentation.
26) Check all home windows and doors prior to going to sleep at night.
27) Teach your children about the stalker so that they may run away from him if he tries to get close to them or perpetrate against them.
28) Take inventory of your life. Is there anything in your life or within your surroundings that might be further fascinating or attracting the stalker?
29) Don't buy into all the, "Blame the victim," nonsense that's out there! No one deserves to be stalked no matter what kind of relationship you had or didn't have with the stalker!
30) Consider changing your identity and vanishing. This process is similar in its steps as that of the witness protection program.
31) Learn about stalkers and what kinds of crimes they commit.
32) Get professional help from a counselor, psychiatrists if necessary, and a PI if it is affordable.
33) Be ready for a potential assault at all times. Don't let your guard down.
34) Realize the stalker is not a normal criminal and his activities may not be brazen. Stalkers are interested in committing their crimes over many months or even years; therefore, they tend to be extremely cautious about avoiding clear cut documentation and capture.
35) Do not conclude that because the stalker has not severely assaulted you or attempted to kill you that he never will. Only the stalker can predict when it's time to end, "The game."To the stalker, stalking is a kind of game.
36) Do not meet with the stalker or get together or back together with him in hopes that this will stop his abusive behavior. Stalkers do not change!
37) Realize that most stalkers have an above average IQ. Do not expect him to be stupid and easy to document and capture.
38) Stalkers are severely mentally disturbed individuals. Stalking is mostly about control, domination, and coercion. These behavioral problems mixed with the deceptive behavioral patterns the stalker uses to attract victims are all the stalker knows.
39) Stalkers will try any potential avenue they can think of to terrorize their victims, including but not limited to false accusations, claims of an upcoming lawsuit against the victim, and actual violence, etc. The stalker will do whatever he needs to do in order to terrorize you successfully.
40) Know the anti-stalking laws in your state.
41) Know the laws for interstate stalking.
42) Keep your personal address and phone number book where your stalker won't be able to access it.
43) Start raising and saving some significant sum of money. Being stalked is extremely expensive.
44) Get a P.O. box to protect your mail from theft.
45) Realize that all your action and even you inactions excite your stalker in different ways.
46) Realize your fear excites the stalker.
47) Realize the stalker does not feel bad or guilty about destroying your life or the lives of others. Stalkers do not have a conscience.
48) Realize that most stalkers suffer from Anti-Social Personality disorder and many of them suffer from sociopathic or psychopathic disorders or related traits of these disorders.
49) Do not make the mistake of thinking the stalker has a soft spot by which you can reach him and show him how wrong his behaviors are.
50) Most stalkers don't see how their behaviors are hurting others.
By Lady Lost
Copyright © 2002
All rights reserved
Library of Congress Copyright
International Copyright
No rights to copy, print, download, duplicate, or display elsewhere other than upon this specific website granted or implied without the direct written permission of the author. Please contact agent of the author: Mr. Gunther S. Vanludwick at svanludwick@yahoo.com
**As with all poetry, essays, correspondence and/or published letters, e-mails or other communications presented on this webpage, this work is a personal subjective expression of its author's own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. This statement is in no way intended to invalidate or minimize the powerful and poignant experiences of this author. However, this statement is intended to indicate that creative expressions such as these written forms of artwork are derived from their author's own personal feelings, thoughts, beliefs and opinions.
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