Lemme tell y'all what it's like being female upper middle class and asian:
Anela Chan (aka ME)
Anela is the creator of this pathetic excuse for a website and one of Rumaj's Number One Pseudo-Fans. She has written many a derisive entry in their guestbook, and her spawn, "ella", is one of the most feared rumaj-haters of them all. She is also quite possibly the Number One Anti-Choirey, second only to April, despite that she's in choir. She also plays cello, which has been pointless except in one PHG-related circumstance. In the case of actual music, Anela's heroes include CFA, Ben Folds, Air, Queen, and Savage Garden (actually, no). Her actual hero is either Wolverine, Craig Sutton, or the blonde guy in DDR, but she can never remember which. In her free time, Anela enjoys stalking (PHG, GRE, HP, Tiger Lyon, Barba, the Voras, etc.) and pulling insane operations (only one of which has worked so far). I would say Anela is an insanely weird Nerd to the extreme and she probably doesn't really like you unless you are a Tarkio Band Member, a Stalkee, or Luke. Or if you're a really fit boy.
I'll be watchin you:
April Antonson (aka Aprit, Ants, or Ape, none of which anyone actually calls her)
April is the most happy-go-lucky person I know, and she's also the prettiest Ape of them all (tho Apes are pretty ugly JK! rowling). She likes Rumaj, Queen, Varttina (ui ui ui ui ui ui ui...), 70's, 80's, and 90's music, and even punk like Alkaline Trio and NOFX (or as Ricky once said, "nofix"). When she finds the time, April watches hours of VH1, plays some mad DDR, buses Anela around on stalking missions in her sweet Mustang, and goes to Eros to visit Joe Schwarzkopf. If you ever want to see April, she's probably working as a guard at Olympic, because she works like 40 hours a week. She's a kickass swimmer and an equally kickass artist, and she seems to never run out of whipped cream or Quakes. April probably likes you (especially if you are Luke or Sam Petricca) because she's like an anti-bitch.
Johnny******* Elaine Petricca (aka Lanie, Trixie)
Like April, Lanie is an "I Love the 70s"-loving swimmer, except she works at Rec. And actually, Lanie is probably the real Number One Rumaj fan. After all, she still has the original version of "Explanation." She was ruthlessly funny in the rumaj guestbook, writing under such aliases as Lung Hambil, which doesn't even spell anything. Anyway, in addition to liking Michael Ian Black, Journey, Ben Folds, and American Idol, Lanie is nerdishly into Harry Potter (who isn't?). She is also a Simpsons fan, which is quite fabbity fab in my book. Without her, Operation C***** would have never been a success and we also wouldn't have thought of the HP Musical, which will definitely star HP as himself. Can I speak Parseltongue anymore?? Maybe that would make a good Tarkio song. Another thing about Lanie is that she is an amazing singer and has spent a whole fifty minutes with the biggest choireys (including the manslut and the original HP) every day for a whole year! So our Tarkio vocals do not suck. Oh, and without the map that was conveniently situated next to Lanie's computer, Tarkio would never exist.
Gorillas, Guerillas, Gorillaz:
Brittany Bernacchi (aka Britt, Nacchs...)
Britt and I go way back. She was my second friend (after Corey Keller) in Kindergarten. Britt is both a soccer jock and a choirey-thespian (she's quite well-rounded). In fact, she will one day become a famous actress so she can meet HP and bring him here to meet his twin. She is also a lotr-loving crazy (or as we say in the Dudical Langauge, "colin") person like me. She's crazy enough to find hilariosity in the line "If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest from home I've ever been." And crazy enough to think of Lord of the Rings the Musical WAY before those jerks in London stole the idea from us. "Orcs Orcs Goblins Orcs Orcs!" That's definitely going to be a song. Along w/ "O Freude" (aka Ode to Joy) with our improved melody. Britt is also credited w/ the co-creation of the Uni Scale and the discovery of the Matt Cannon's evil. However, she did NOT think of canned bottled water! Anyway... Britt le gusta Scrubs, Seinfeld, and Queen (and many other things but I already have carpal tunnel), and she hates Hilary Duff even more than Avril Lavigne. She understands the meaning of "Why do they call it Ovaltine?" and thus she is awesome.
Hey kids, do you want some candy?
Lauren Wong (aka Wonger?)
Lauren, or Girl Jason #2, is my partner in the Asian Pride Squad. I've known her since first grade tho I was not necessarily friends with her all of that time. She is the only person I can watch intelligent movies or discuss classic literature with. Lauren is ALSO a swimmer, and she's well on her way to beating Jeff Powers (or has she already? I don't know. Or care that much). Plus, she plays badminton with me, and she is Ready to Kill. And she too works at Olympic w/ April and actually enjoys her job. I know, it sounds quite messed up, but that's Lauren for you. Lauren also likes reading, baking, wasting hours of her life playing MahJong Solitaire, making paper stars, and having photo shoots. Best of all, Lauren's house is conveniently situated next to Brownie's house. It's in the perfect location for taking a "stroll," altho it's pointless now that the PHG has left.
TUFFEST*: