TITLE: Expense reports, Fish sticks, and a game of Truth-or-Dare
AUTHOR: S. M. Spencer (also known as Detoured)
RATING: Probably PG-13. There are a few naughty words.
SPOILERS: NONE
ARCHIVE: Anywhere, as long as my name goes with it.
DISCLAIMER: I pledge allegiance, to the show, that was created by Chris
Carter. And to the
production company, for which it stands, 1013, and 20th Century Fox who own
all claims to these
characters, with liberty and conspiracy for all.
SUMMARY: I think the title sums it up.
Apartment occupied by Fox Mulder
Friday, 7:30 p.m.
"Hey Scully, you're early."
"Thought I'd try and beat the storm."
"Yeah. It's really coming down out there. I heard 6 inches by morning and
another 6 tomorrow."
"Really? Do you think I can come in now Mulder?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Make yourself at home."
Scully removed her wet coat and sat down on Mulder's couch. She had an arm
full of files.
"So, whatta we got here, partner?" Mulder asked, taking a seat beside her.
"Expense reports. Lots of them. Skinner wants them in by 8 a.m. Monday
morning."
"And you need my help because....?" Mulder asked.
Scully gave him one of her looks. "Because-I'm not gonna be stuck in all
weekend working on them
alone. If we both do it, it'll get done faster."
"What, did you have big plans for the weekend Scully?"
She cleared her throat. "It's none of your business", she said
matter-of-factly.
"Sure. Fine. Whatever."
A few minutes later....
"How in the hell can you spend so much money on sunflower seeds?" Scully
asked her partner.
"Don't blame me, blame my damned oral fixation." He replied.
Scully's mind started to wonder after his reply. How many times she had
wished that she could
trade places with one of those seeds just to feel the taste of his pouty
lips.
"Scully, Earth to Dana!"
"Oh, sorry. What is it Mulder?"
"I said, do you want something to eat?"
"Yeah, that sounds good. Mind if I turn on the TV to check the forecast?"
"No, go ahead." Mulder got up and made his way into the kitchen. Scully
tuned the TV into the
Weather Channel.
Mulder opened his refrigerator, and what he saw was quite disturbing.
"Shit. Scully's gonna
kill me. I invite her over, and I don't even have any damned food."
"What's that Mulder?" Scully called from the other room.
"Nothing. Everything will be ready in just few minutes."
Mulder was staring at a 6-pack of beer and a container with green fungi
growing all over it. It
looked like an 8th grade science project. He then opened the freezer.
"Thank you Jesus." There
he found a box of fish sticks. He quickly threw them in the oven and
searched the cupboards for
anything else.
About 15 minutes later, Mulder emerged from the kitchen. He had a plate of
fish sticks, half a
bag of Ruffles, and a 6-pack of beer.
"Dinner is served."
"Oohh, Mulder. Fish sticks. Did you know that fish sticks really turn me
on?"
Mulder looked at her in disbelief. "You know, you've really gotta get out
more Scully." They
both laughed, and dug into their food.
"So weather girl, what's the forecast? Are we gonna be stuck in here
forever?"
"Well, at least for a while. There's a level 3 snow emergency, which means
the roads are shut
down. I hope you don't mind having some company for a little while longer."
"Not at all. But I'm afraid that if it lasts too long we'll starve."
"You mean to tell me that this is all the food you have in the whole house?"
Scully asked.
"No, I've got some sunflower seeds."
"Mulder, when was the last time you went to the grocery store?"
"Well, remember when we went on our little venture to Antartica?" Scully
nodded. "About a month
before that."
Scully chuckled. "What am I gonna do with you Mulder?"
He didn't reply. He just smiled.
10:45 p.m.
"Finally finished. God, I never thought we'd get that done. Thanks for all
your help Mulder."
"No problem. Dammit!"
"What?"
"The fucking cable just went out. Shit!"
"Mulder, there is life beyond television."
"Yeah, but the Knicks are playing on the west coast and the game just
started." Mulder whined.
"Oh, you poor baby." Scully mocked him.
"Now what are we gonna do?" Mulder asked.
"We could play a game."
"Okay, how about strip poker?"
Scully shook her head.
"Strip Jenga?"
"Uh-uh."
"Strip Twister."
"Mulder! No!"
"Why not?"
"Because. Now, why don't we play Truth-or-Dare."
"Strip Truth-or-Dare?"
"Mulder, there is no such thing. Now, I get to go first. Truth or Dare?"
"Truth, I guess."
"Okay Mulder." Scully thought for a moment. "Who was the best lover you
ever had?"
"Scully! My, my. Shouldn't have had that second beer now, should've we?"
"Mulder, just answer the question."
"Okay. Let's see. I guess that would have to be....um, Diana Fowley."
Scully cringed. "Mulder, I want you to know that I am sorry from the bottom
of my heart. You
poor thing."
"Ha-ha. Okay Scully, how about you?"
"My best lover? Um....Jack Willis. I guess."
"Whatta you mean, you guess?"
"Well, I don't know if I would consider him a lover. I mean, I don't think
that I really loved
him. You know what I mean?"
Mulder nodded. After a few moments, he finally spoke. "Okay Scully, my
turn. Truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"What's your favorite sexual position?"
"Mulder!" Scully blushed.
"Scully, you have to answer the question."
"Let's just say that that is something that I don't discuss. One must find
these things out for
himself." Scully was feeling a little daring, so she scooted closer to him
on the couch. They
gazed into each others eyes for what seemed like an eternity.
Mulder cleared his throat. "Hey, I'm getting tired of this game. Maybe we
should do someting
else."
"Like?" Scully leaned closer.
"Like, listen to the radio!" Mulder got up and moved over to the stereo.
Scully was
disappointed. She was afraid that she had crossed the line.
Mulder grabbed the stereo remote and went back to sit next to Scully. He
turned it on and began
flipping through the stations.
-I wanna sex you up-
CLICK
-I smell sex and candy, yeah-
CLICK
-I'm too sexy for my shirt-
CLICK
-This kiss, this kiss-
CLICK
-I'll make love to you-
CLICK
"Okay, well, that's enough of that." Mulder said as he got up and replaced
the remote back on
the stereo.
"Mulder, what's wrong? You're acting very strange."
He began pacing around the room. "No, no I'm not. What makes you say that
Scully?"
She walked over to him and grabbed him by the arm. "Mulder, talk to me."
He took a deep breath. "I don't know Scully."
"Mulder." She looked at him intentively and led him back over to his couch.
Mulder took her hand. "Scully, it's just that-well, having you here, having
you so close-I love
it but--"
"But--"
"But--You're driving me crazy!"
"I'm driving you crazy?" Scully was utterly confused.
"Yes, but not like you think. You come in here, in your tight jeans and
that perfume--God,
Scully-that perfume--and it takes all I have to keep my hands off you. I
try to hide it by
joking around, but that's just not working any more. You are my best
friend, and I know that I
can tell you anything."
"You can Mulder, you can."
"I know that this could jeopordize are friendship, and our working
relationship. And I don't
want to lose you Scully, but--
"You're starting with the 'buts' again Mulder."
He smiled. "I love you Scully." He held his breath.
"I love you too Mulder."
"You do?"
"Jesus yes. I can't believe you didn't know that?"
"Well, I did know that you loved me, but, I didn't know that you loved
me-loved me."
"Yes, I love you-love you."
"Me too." He pulled her into an embrace and began to kiss her passionately.
After what seemed like forever, they stopped to catch their breath. "So,
you wanna go try out my
water bed Scully? It's gotta mirror and everything." He wiggled his
eyebrows at her.
She smiled. "Sure. And you just might find out the answer to that question
you asked me
earlier Mulder."
THE END
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This was written to relieve the stress of finals. Sorry if
it sucked. As
always, feedback is always welcome-good or bad. I live for feedback! (isn't
that sad?)
Anyway, email me with comments at detoured@hotmail.com
"We are but visitors on this rock, hurling through time and space at 66,000
miles an hour. Tethered to a burning sphere by invisible force, in an
infathonable universe."
--Fox Mulder, The X-Files