Getting Some Rest 05/?

Next morning
Skinner's Apartment
6:32 a.m.

Mulder awoke to the strange feeling of a warm body next to him. He didn't open his eyes, just lay there with his head on Walter's chest. He inhaled Skinner's musky scent and tightened his grip around his waist.

"Hey, sleepyhead."

Mulder grunted and propped himself up on his elbow. He opened his sleepy eyes and looked down into Walter's smiling face.

"Hey," he said, his voice rough from sleep. "How long have you been awake?"

"Just a few minutes, really. How did you sleep?"

"Great. Haven't slept that long and good in a while. Well," he smiled, "after all, I hadn't had such exhausting exercise for a long time."

Walter didn't know what to say. He hadn't really thought about Mulder's life outside the Bureau but he had always assumed that Mulder had a lot of women to occupy his free time. But what exactly did *he* know about Mulder? Not much, anyway. He cleared his throat and changed the subject.

"Would you like breakfast? Or just coffee?"

Mulder scratched his chin and sat up on the bed. He looked back at Walter.

"Breakfast sounds good. Would you mind if I used your..." He was about to ask if he could use the shower but then remembered that they had shared a shower last night, and now that he was fully awake and remembered their situation, he didn't want to bring that up. "..your bathroom?" he finished uneasily.

Skinner knew what had gone through Mulder's mind but wasn't about to go there yet. He just got up from the bed and pulled on his sweatpants.

"Go ahead. There should be a spare razor in the cabinet, too."

He turned and walked out of the room and down to the kitchen.


After having shaved and dressed, Mulder joined Skinner in the kitchen. The smell of coffee and ham and eggs made him recognize how hungry he was. His stomach grumbled and Skinner looked up from the pan he had been staring into.

"Sit down. Breakfast's almost ready."

Walter turned back to the pan and Mulder sat down on the kitchen table. His eyes roamed over the strong muscles of Skinner's back resting on his tight ass fora few moments. Taking a deep breath Mulder tried to think of something to saybut failed. He just didn't know how to describe the mass of feelings floating through his body and mind. If someone had told him week ago, hell a day ago, that he would be sitting in the kitchen of his tight-ass, ex-marine boss after spending a night of mind-blowing sex with said boss, he would have laughed his head off. Or would he? Well, he knew he had been attracted to Skinner. But the thought of Skinner being attracted to him - that had been totally unconceivable.

The problem now was that for Mulder it was more than just physical attraction. He liked the way Skinner had treated him during the sex. He could still feelthe strong hand stroking his abdomen, soothing him, when the invading finger had gotten a bit uncomfortable. Skinner had been concerned about him all thewhile, always asking how he was doing. In his miserable and lonely life there wereonly two people who were concerned about his well being.

*Well, there are actually three: Scully, of course, now Walter and Mrs. Scully*

He smiled at the thought of Mrs. Scully. During Scully's abduction, he had come to get to know her a bit and he was grateful for the strength she had given him. He liked her a lot and not for the first time he realized that she was more ofa mother to him than his own mother.

Thinking of his own mother, his thoughts turned to his father. The smile left his face and turned into a grimace of pain. He winced, knowing what his father would think of him if he still were alive. He would be ashamed of his son,even more than he had always been. Mulder closed his eyes and shook his head,trying to get rid of his father's face in front of his inner eye.

Walter had turned around a minute before, pan in his hand, ready to shove half of it onto Mulder's plate. He had stopped in his track, watching the emotions flow across the younger man's face. The smile had pleased him but now he was concerned and afraid again. Afraid that Mulder frowned because of thesituation he had gotten himself into and now didn't know how to get out of it.

*Damnit, Walter. Just ask him and get it over with. If he wants to forget what has happened, well, you're gonna have to live with that, aren't you? What else could you do. If you keep worrying your head off, you're going to get a heart attack. So stop being such a chicken shit.*

Skinner sighed and began to fill Mulder's and his own plate with ham and eggs. He poured two mugs with the steaming coffee he had brewed and got two forksfrom the counter. He gave one fork to Mulder and finally sat down on the table opposite to Mulder.

They ate silently, both lost in their own thoughts. After a few minutes Skinner put down his fork and looked at his agent.

"Ok, Mulder, we have two possibilities here: either we forget what happened last night and go our separate ways or we try to find out if there's more between us than just sexual attraction. It's your choice, Mulder."

Mulder looked up from his breakfast and answered without hesitation.

"I could never forget what happened last night. And I hope you can't either. But I don't know if it is wise to further pursue what ever it is that is between us. I respect you and I'm attracted to you and maybe there is more to that, but we still work for the FBI and you know the regulations better than I do."

They both smiled at that understatement. Mulder's knowledge about the regulations only contained that they are there to be broken, at least it seemed to Skinner that way sometimes. Mulder got serious again and continued.

"And it's not just about the FBI. I don't even want to think about what the Consortium would do if they ever found out. It would put you in danger, more than you're in now. It's hard enough to worry about what they could do to Scully..." He stopped when he saw Walter frowning.

"Does that mean that you and Scully.. I mean..."Mulder interrupted him.

"No, we don't... I mean we aren't lovers. I love her but not that way. And we never thought about crossing that line in our relationship. Maybe at the beginning but then we got to know and trust each other, so we became something better than lovers. She's my partner, best friend and kind of my sister. But that's all."

Walter visibly relaxed. He had always wondered if his two agents were more than just best friends and he was relieved to hear that they were not. Especially after last night. Thinking of last night brought back a smile to his face.

"I have to admit I'm glad to hear that. I like Scully but..."

*Ok, Walter here we go. Just say it."

"... I love you."

Mulder was speechless. He hadn't expected to hear those words from Skinner. Hell, he had never expected to hear them from someone else than Scully. He knew Scully meant them, but could he believe them now. After all, this was his boss sitting in front of him. The same boss that loved to chew him out for a bad field report or some cell phone he had lost during a case. How could this man possibly love him?

*He always acts as if I was the biggest pain in the ass that he has ever had. How can he say he loves me? Oh god, I hope he means it.*

Mulder never really knew how to react to love, he had never learnt that. Not with a father who'd rather yelled at his son and beat him than talk to him and a mother who lived in her own world of valium.

Walter waited patiently - at least he tried to. But then he couldn't wait any longer and started to speak again.

"I don't expect you to say that you love me now. But I want you to know that I really do love you. I have for some time now. I just didn't realize it untilthe day I went to your apartment and looked at that black bag that was supposed to hold your body in it."

He swallowed hard when the pain he had felt that day washed over him again.

"When Scully told me it indeed was your body... I felt as if something in me died at that moment."

They both sat in silence for a minute. Mulder wanted to apologize for what he had put Skinner through but he still was shell-shocked from Skinner's revelation of his feelings.

The silence almost drove Walter crazy. Mulder hadn't said anything after hehad admitted his love and he desperately wanted to know what went on in Mulder's head.

*I hope I didn't scare him to death with that.*

"Please say something, Mulder." Walter mentally winced at his pleading voice but couldn't help it.

Mulder took a shaky breath and swallowed hard. He studied his hands which lay folded on the kitchen table for a moment and then looked into the brown eyes of his boss.

"I'm sorry, Walter. I'm sorry for all the pain I've put you through. And I'm sorry I didn't include you in my plans. I just thought it would be better for you not to know. After all, you're an AD and I didn't want to put your career at risk. You know that we could both loose our jobs if you go on."

Skinner's fist connecting hard with the top of the kitchen table interrupted him.

"Damnit, since when are you so rational. I don't care if I lose my job. I like it but you're more important to me."

Matching Skinner's raised voice, Mulder yelled back.

"Walter, I care for you and I don't want you to hate me one day because it was my fault that you lost your job."

"Stop it, Mulder, don't you dare try to blame yourself again. It's my life and I want to spend it with you. So, the question's still what do you want? I know what the X-Files mean to you."

Mulder calmed down and Walter had to concentrate when Mulder started towhisper.

"I want to spend more time with you, too. I love you." Skinner felt a weight lift off his heart and closed his eyes on a sigh. He felt Mulder's hand on his own and opened his eyes to look into soft hazel ones looking back at him. They intertwined their fingers and rose from their seats. Walter pulled Mulder into an embrace and, hands threaded through Mulder's dark hair, kissed the younger man on the mouth. Mulder's lips parted and a hungry tongue darted in. Their tongues duelled, gliding against each other, tasting.


end part 5