Title: I Love Him...I Do.
Author: Erin M. Blair
E-Mail: eblair@sonic.net
Classification: VRA-Vignette, Romance, Angst.
Content: Mulder/Scully UST. Scully POV.
Time Span/Spoilers: The End.
Rating: PG.
Distribution/Archive Statement: OK to Gossamer and Xemplary. Others: ask me first. OK to post on ATXC.

Disclaimer: They're not mine - Chris Carter owns Mulder and Scully. If he doesn't have them get together in the end, this shipper will be extremely upset.

Summary: What was Scully thinking when she saw Mulder with Diana Fowley in "The End" - was she jealous? Readon to find out.

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I LOVE HIM...I DO
Written by: Erin M. Blair
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As I walked down the lonely corridor to find Mulder, I couldn't help thinking about the results from Gibson Praise's brain scan. The little boy was using parts of his brain that nobody uses.

Until now.

I feel for Gibson. We used him. When I watched him undergo these tests, I could only think of how scared he must havebeen. He reminded me of Emily and myself in a way. We were all lab rats to people. They had done unbelievable things to both of us and now Gibson had joined us.

Why?

To get answers for what Mulder and I have been searching for the past five or six years.

As I turned a corner, I saw him.

Mulder.

He wasn't alone.

He was with Diana Fowley - his old "chickadee" and former partner. The one who was with him when he discovered the X-Files with. She's tall, leggy, and most of all, brunette. The type of woman that Mulder goes for.

And his arm was around her waist.

I turned around towards the exit door and walked quickly to the parking lot. As I entered my car, I knew he couldn'thave seen me.

I was lucky he hadn't seen me. I didn't want to talk to him with *her* around. Why do I feel so betrayed? It's not like I have a chain around his heart. It's not like we're dating or anything. I'm not his girlfriend. He doesn't call me 'Dana' - just 'Scully.' I'm just his faithful, intelligent partner who still hasn't receive a desk in all of our years of partnership.

I knew my actions spoke volumes of childish jealousy, but I couldn't help it. I have to face my feelings towards him sooner or later.

I love him...I do.

I took out my cell phone out of my coat pocket and dialed Mulder's cell phone number. I heard his voice and I said: "Mulder, it's me."

"Scully," inquired Mulder. "Where *are* you?"

I decided not to reveal where I really am. "Can you meet me at the office? I need to show you the brain scan results of Gibson."

"I'm at the Psyche Institute right now. Show me there."

"No, no. I'm not going to be there - I'll be at the office."

I turned off the cell phone - I decided not to tell him the truth of how I feel towards him. It's not worth the pain.

I love him - I do.

I'm not going to say or do anything about my feelings until I have a clear sign from Mulder that I'm the one he loves. I don't know what sign I'm looking for, but I'll know when the time comes.

Until then - I'm not going to tell him.

End of Vignette


Feedback: Most appreciative and welcomed. Send to: eblair@sonic.net Flames will light the anti-Diana Fowley torch.

Author's Notes: I know the episode "The End" was a long time ago, but I'd written this short vignette some time ago. It's also been a long time since I'd written anything in the first point of view. It's basically about her fears about revealing to Mulder of how much she loves him. Recently, I had added more paragraphs and finished it. I edited it as well as run through a spelling and grammar checker so I hoped I had caught all the errors.

Dedications: To all the writers in the X-Files Fan Fiction Community, I would like to thank you for sharing your stories through out the years. I would like to thank Tanja, Joey, and Lisa for being there always. Most of all, I would like to thank everyone who had supported me and read my stories.

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- Erin Blair
- eblair@sonic.net
- "And if I quit now, they win."
- from the X-Files: Fight the Future Movie