Title: Your friend for life Author: TeaL
Talitha_1121@yahoo.com
Flames will be used to torch any documents stating Mulder and TFO had once been legally married.
Classification: A, V
Keywords: M/S Friendship
Spoilers: Redux
Distribution: Archive away, all I ask is that you keep everything attached and if you haven't archived one of my fics before just let me know the addy where it's going :)

Summary: Feeling death upon her Scully says thanks to the most important person in her life..next to her mother.

Disclaimer: I owned Mulder, Scully,1013 productions, the FOX network and then I woke up. *g*


Your friend for life
by TeaL

As a child I had been terrified of storms and I can still remember running into my parents room at the first hint of thunder. I feared them because I didn't understand them , finally one day when I was a little older I picked up a book and immersed myself in the beauty that is nature.

Suddenly I could identify with the storms, nature's moodswings, and just as she could be bright and sunny one moment and dark and stormy the next, so could I. During my teenage years I fell in love with storms, with the raw force that drove them. I would sit for hours watching the rain as it slammed upon the earth, listening to the wind as it surged through the trees, and I could almost feel the hail hitting me as it connected with the old tin roof.

My mother worried about me, she thought it unnatural that I could simply sit staring for so long at something which she almost took for granted. The one feeling that has stayed with me all this time is how I marveled at natures strength and gaia's will to survive such an onslaught.

A strength that I sought.

A strength that would eventually get me through high school, college and into the F.B.I

A strength I now feel I have lost, or perhaps somewhere along the way it lost me.

I am once again that frightened child fearing the unknown, only this time it is not the weather.

This time it is death.

Winter has touched me deeper this year and I feel a terrible sadness. I have lost my strength and like the sun trying to break through the clouds during an overcast winter's day, I am losing my battle.

It is now at the point where I rely on people around me for strength, to lift me and guide me and help me find my way again. I hate this feeling, I have ever let anything thing in my life effect me like this before, but I've never been in this situation before.

I've never been this sick before.

If I truly believed in my heart that this is gods will, that it is my time to leave my mortal body, I would cut the thin threads holding me upon this earth and let the ever nearing darkness consume me. But this chip, this piece of metal in my neck, it was not put there by god so I will fight with all the strength I can gather...

for now...

I want to be strong, I need to be, for my mother, for my brothers, for myself, but unless you've felt small and worthless lying in this hospital bed fighting this disease you will never know.

I pray you will never know.

What I do want you to know, to feel, is how much I appreciate all the times you've been there for me during this fight. All the strength I have is from you.

Mulder, I'm writing this because I need you to know you've saved me. Putting my emotions down on paper like this feels wrong but I know how I am, I know I will probably never voice these emotions to you, so having it here like this is my safety net. Perhaps one day you will know just how much I appreciated you and loved having you in my life.

You have filled my life with pure light, a light that has guided me through many dark moments. If you torture yourself by feeling responsible in any way for this cancer, please stop. You are not the cause in any way, you did not put, or conspire to put, this chip in my body and if I wanted to I could have left you at any time. It would have been very easy to request reassignment, but I never wanted to.

I cherish your friendship and partnership too much and do not hold you responsible in *any* way. I have enjoyed your company and working with you and I cannot imagine my life without you in it. You have saved my life more times then I can count and had my life taken a different path, had we never met, I may have died a long time ago so I believe you have given me life.

This is my thank you for that life.

Thank you for saving me.

Thank you for sharing *your* life with me.

Thank you for your love and companionship.

Thank you for the strength you unknowingly flood me with everytime you enter my room so that I can fight this and be here today to write this.

I hold a sacred place in my heart for you that no one can ever touch. I only wish I could have touched your life just a fraction of how much you touched mine.

All my love,

Dana Scully~Your friend for life

The End

E-mail lovingly embraced and answered at Talitha_1121@yahoo.com
http://www.angelfire.com/ms/msrfanfic/

TeaL's disclaimer:
~all strength stolen by this author was given back after the writing of this fic.
All scenes involving strength were closely monitored and none was harmed during the writing of this fic~