Viki: It's Dorian. She's quite anxious to
speak with you.
Mel: Oh. The feeling's not mutual.
Viki: Boy, do I know that one. (Debbie)
Dorian: Mel, I've just called my lawyer.
He's on the way over. Is there anything else I can do?
Todd: Know what you can do? You can bake a cake and stick a
file in it.
Viki: Dorian, bake a cake? That would be more useful in a
suicide attempt. (Debbie)
Viki (to Clint): Dorian just likes Mel? It's like saying a tidal wave is just water! (Tricia)
Cord:(about
Dorian)"I don't know but when she left my office, she was as
happy as a clam."
Viki: "Probably because she just sold you Llanview's version
of the Love Canal."
Viki: Why
didn't you call the police?
Dorian: The
police?
Viki: Yeah,
you know, the people with the flashing lights on top of their
cars.
Viki to Dorian: Going
somewhere Dorian?
Dorian: Viki, I didn't hear you pull up.
Viki: No, I used your method. I decided to sneak up while no
one was looking.
Viki to Dorian: What a shame you weren't here earlier, that's when we sacrificed the bull and drank its blood.
Dorian: She
assaulted me!
Viki: I'm
very sorry I attempted to revive you Dorian. Next time, I'll just
let you lie there like a speed bump.
Viki: Now, I
do not normally like to speak ill of the dead, but in his case I
wou..
Dorian: Dead?
Viki: Yes.
Dorian: Dead???
Viki(again): Yes.
Dorian: Elliot
Durbin is dead?
Viki: What
part of yes didn't you understand?
Viki (to Dorian): Your story has gaps in it big enough to march the Thanksgiving Day Parade through. (Debbie)
Dorian: That
wasn't fair and I'm sorry.
Viki(stunned):
Whoa! Did I hear that? Did you actually apologize to me? Oh, I
get it. You want something. What do you want???
Viki to Sloan: Sticks and stones may break my bones but Dorian is JUST an irritation.
Viki: Well, surely Dorian knows that Blair
asked you to take care of [Starr]?
Todd: Yeah. Well, what's your point?
Viki: Oh, yes. Yes, you're right. Somebody else's express
wish has never carried much weight with Dorian. (Debbie)
Dorian: (about Mel): Imagine how wonderful
it is to have a man you can finally depend on. I suppose you
remember what that was like.
Viki: Vaguely.
Dorian: It has been quite some time for you, hasn't it?
Viki: And you, too, Dorian. That is, if you're referring to
men, not boys.
Dorian: Yes, of course. The Buchanan boys. they do have a
hard time growing up, don't they? Except Joey. He was the most
mature of the lot, but he had the benefit of me.
Viki: Gee, Dorian. I'm so sorry I don't have any more
underage sons at home for you to benefit.
Jean: (about Clint) Oh, God! He's like a dog with a bone!
Jean: "Tommy
is consumed with rage. He can be very wild and out of control.
But you know how young boys are. You've certainly dealt with your
share."
Dorian: "Very funny."
Dorian:(about
Joey)"He's never going to believe the things you made me
write in that letter."
Jean: "Wrong Dorian. He bought it lock, stock, and air
mail stamp."
Dorian: I
thought you were the one who doesn't play games? Your honest,
straight-forward,...
Tori: Yes, I am. I'm also the one who knows exactly who I am
dealing with, and it's kind of fun watching you sweat!
Tori(pretending to be Viki)"Oh, for Heaven's sake Clint! Can't I try something new every twenty years?!"
Tori:(about to kill Clint)"The time has come! We're gonna sing...Happy Trails to You."
Tori: If I were you Dorian, I'd stop fretting over this ridiculous diary and start spicing up th boudior department because you've got one hell of a horny husband. (Crayola)
Viki and Kevin discuss Viki's
visit with Blair regarding the Sun's excerpts of Dorian's novel:
Viki: I threatened her with a lawsuit.
Kevin: Good, because that's what we have to do--we have to
play some hardball.
Viki: Yes, we do. I may seem to be only one personality on
the outside, but you must never forget that there is a fearsome
group on the inside--a force to be reckoned with. And nobody
messes with Tommy. (Debbie)
Niki:(ordering room service)"Well hhheeelllooo to you too! What a nice voice, nice and deep. You know what? I think I would like you to deliver my room service personally so where do I find you on the menu honey?"
Niki: "You
want to be Thelma or Louise?"
Joey: "Do you remember how that movie ended? The police
baracade, high powered rifles, and the car going over into a
canyon?"
Niki: "Yeah..."
Joey: "Well, let's not do a remake!"
Niki: "Hey!
I've got to hand it to that Tori! She ain't subtle but she knows
how to get it done!"
Tori: "I forgot about Viki's kids. Always around when
you don't want 'em."
Niki: "Yeah, tell me about it!"(laughs)
Tori: "Oh, shut up."
Tori: "Oh,
give it up Dorian!"
Dorian: "Viki???"
Tori: "I'm baaaccckkk!!!!!"
Dorian:(stand up cheerfully and yells)"Tori!!!"
Tori: "And can the act about wanting to help poor
pathetic Viki. All you want is the diary."
Dorian: "Yes, and if you give it to me, you'll never
have to deal with me again."
Tori: "But you're so much fun to play with!"
Dorian:(astonished)"You're
going to burn down the Banner???"
Tori: "It's the only way. I've been working like crazy
to ruin it from the inside...a little sabotage here, a little
sabotage there.It's taking too long! It's a big place with deep
pockets and besides that, that stupid cowboy keeps rushing in at
the last minute to save everything!"
Niki:(to Tori and Jean who are fighting for control)"Quiet! God, you're such a bunch of loudmouths! Worry, worry, worry, worry, worry! You never have any fun! You're so boring! Why don't you let me out? I need a drink!!!"
Niki(to a Rodi's bartender)"You empty the bottle, I empty the glass. You keep it up 'til I'm flat on my aaa....!"(and laughs)
Jean: "You're
smooth. I like that."
Suzanna: "Thank you, Jean. I like you too."
Jean: "No, you don't. I'm not likeable."
Jean: "That
martinette Nurse Clegg says your top notch."
Suzanna: "What can I say??? She owes me money."
Jean: "You
haven't met Tommy."
Suzanna: "Perhaps you'll allow us to have a conversation
sometime."
Jean: "One doesn't have a conversation with Tommy. One
ducks and hopes for the best."
Suzanna: "What
if all the different personalities could function together, none
of them destroyed, integrated into one woman named
Victoria?"
Jean: "Jean is a much less pretentious name."
Clint: I
didn't mean to startle you. You looked kinda lost over here.
Viki: Gee, you and Kevin. Can't a person stop and think for
two seconds around here?
Clint: No. No. We're newspaper people. No thinking allowed.
Sloan: Alright,
you win. Subject closed.
Viki: Well, thank you for that! I got the General to
surrender! Whoop-dee-do!
Sloan: (About
waiting to get married) We're better off anyway waiting at least
a day.
Viki: Why?
Sloan: If we were married today, we would have to share our
anniversary with Alex and Asa. After all the combat I've been
through, I don't think I could face that, at least not with a
straight face.
Viki: I don't
know who's family is more unpredictable, yours or mine?
Clint: Your's definitely! When a Buchanan dies, they stay
dead.
Viki: No they don't. Think about it.
Viki: Now, we
have dispensed with the past so there is only one place left to
go.
Sloan: Hawaii?
Viki: Hawaii? No...
Sloan: Bermuda??
Viki: No...
Sloan: Acapulco
Viki: No...the bedroom. As far as I'm concerned professor,
the honeymoon starts right now!
Sloan: Viki! That's what I like!!! (As they are running
up the stairs)
Viki: "Do
you ever stop being a therapist?"
Durbin: "It's an occupational hazard like answering a
question with a question."
Viki: "Why? Does that bother you?"
Durbin: "I see you've got my number."
Durbin: "You
are a lot healthier than you give yourself credit for."
Viki: "Oh yeah? Then why am I in therapy???"
Clint: "Where's
your op. ed. piece?"
Viki:(gives him a funny look)"It's in the mail."
Viki: "Do
you want your coat?"
Sloan: "No. I'm fine."
Viki: "I don't want you to get cold."
Sloan: "I'm comfortable."
Viki: "Get the coat or I will."
Sloan: "You're hopelessly stubborn. I forgot."
Viki:(laughing) "That's an unfortunate oversight on your
part."
Clint: You know, if Patrick has been
exonerated, then whoever bombed Armitage is still at large. And a
bomber walking the streets of Llanview is unacceptable.
Viki: That's a safe position.
Viki: We've
been working on my anger.
Todd: Good for you! So, you are not burning down buildings
anymore?
Viki: Be careful how far you push me Todd. I told you I have
been WORKING on my anger. I did not say I had MASTERED it.
Todd: Can you get the bird's
stuff and I'll get him back to the bachelor pad?
Viki: My pleasure. It will be my delight to go and get the
parrot-phernalia. (Debbie)
Viki: I can't
seem that anxious Todd, especailly with Dorian there.
Todd: What? Did you two get in a fight?
Viki: We worked on it.
Viki: What's
important is that you would be jeopardizing your own chances for
custody when it comes to the court battle.
Todd: Oh, come on! I got much better lawyers.
Viki: And your lawyers have a fool for a client!
Todd comes to the hospital after hearing about
Blair's injury:
Viki: Well, I'm glad you're here, at least.
Todd: Did you see the way she looked at me?
Viki: Yeah. It kind of matched the way you looked at her.
(Debbie)
Viki: (To Todd) Well, I think it is time you realize that even the Big Bad Wolf eventually lost, so you should dispense with the huffing and puffing.
Todd: My nephew's an obnoxious little
twerp.
Viki: Oh, I'm so sorry if my firstborn son offends your
avuncular sensibilities.
Todd: I don't know what that is.
Viki: Look it up. (Debbie)
Viki: At least
if she (Starr) has been awakened, it would be someone she is
happy to see.
Todd: Instead of an ogre like you.
Viki: I was about to feed her to the ravens.
(On finding a possible bone marrow donor for
Starr)
Todd: I know this is Starr's real first chance. I mean, it's
like she got a stay of execution.
Viki: Spoken with your customary sunny outlook. (Debbie)
At the Christmas tree
Airing office
out after Mel smoked in it
Clint: "Well, I don't know what's worse, the smoke or that
spray."
Viki: "What? I got it out of the maintance closet.(looks at
the label) It's Floral Fantasy.(Smells the can fragrance)Oh
great! Now my office is going to smell like a harlot with a two
pack a day habit!"
Viki:
Extraordinary! I am out of the room ten minutes and they finished
it. You guys do windows?
Everyone: NO!!!
Carlo: "Hello
Viki. A lovely afternoon isn't it?"
Viki: "It was until you got here."
Viki(after being reminded of something a long time ago about her father during Dorian's murder trial)"I had been going with a boy and he'd broken it off. I was carrying on something fierce at home, weeping and moaning. My father came in the room and stood there looking at me for the longest time and said,(in her best Victor voice)'What do you feel like doing right now?' And I said something like scratch his eyes out. He said, 'Good.' I heard him talking to my sister Meredith out in the hall. He said, "Victoria's all right. She's not suicidal, she's homicidal. It's perfectly normal.'"
Viki runs into Carlo at the
hospital's blood bank:
Carlo: Viki. Good to see you here. I dropped in because I heard
about the crisis and I thought I could give something to the
community.
Viki: I hope you give till it hurts. (Debbie)
(After Mel's first big drunk in Llanview)
Viki: Would you like coffee? Water? Aspirin?
Mel: None of the above.
Viki: A gun to put you out of your misery? (Debbie)
Mel: You might want to use your office.
Viki: The thought had occurred to me.
Mel: My apologies. They...umm...wouldn't let me smoke in the
city room.
Viki: Oh, my goodness
Mel: Uh, oh. It belatedly occurs to me that you yourself
might be a proponent of clean lungs.
Viki: Oh, I like to grab the occasional gulp of fresh air,
yes.
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