Quotes by other characters



Listen to Frank's message on Jerry's answering machine when everyone thought George was dead.

The Soup Nazi denying service to a customer.

Quotes by Mr and Mrs Costanza
  • " I've been selling computers for a month. Two months ago I saw a provocative movie on cable TV it was called The Net, with that girl from the bus. I did a little research and I realized it wasn't that far fetched."-Frank "Dad do you know what it takes to compete with IBM and Microsoft?"-George "That's why I have a secret weapon, my SON!"-Frank
  • "We're gone for two days and you turn this house into Bourbon Street!"-Frank
  • (Mr. Steinbrenner tells the Costanza's George is dead) "WHY THE HELL DID YOU TRADE JAY BUHNER!? HE HAD AN ARM LIKE A ROCKET! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOIN'!"-Frank
  • "I go out for a quart of milk and I come home and find my son treating his body like an amusement park!"-Estelle
  • "How long does it take to find a bra? WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE? You ask me to get a pair of underwear and I'm back in 2 seconds! Did you know bra's come in different sizes? You've got your A, B, C, and your D! The D is the biggest! Did you know that?"-Frank
  • "Assman? I will give him ass man!"-Frank
  • "In my mind a war is still going on. I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw. The supply lines started getting small and we discovered ten pounds of prime Texas steer, well at least it used to be prime. But I was arrogant. I thought if I spiced it just right no one would notice, but I over spiced. The men started killing over and choking. I sent ten men to the hospital that night! All Smith wanted to do was go home! Well he went home alright with a crater in his colon the size of a quarter, he had to sit on a cork the whole way home. I will NEVER cook again! NEVER! NOW GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE! Go....just go..."-Frank
  • "This omelet is dry!"-Frank "That's the way I always make it!"-Estelle "Well it SUCKS! Your gravy is lumpy, your meat loaf is mushy, and your eggplant parmesan is a disgrace to this house!!!!"-Frank "Well that's too bad because I'm the only one who cooks around here!!!!"-Estelle "Give me that spatula! *cracks an egg* I'm back BAY-BEE!"-Frank
  • "Move your seat up I'm all cramped back here."-Frank "It won't move!"-Estelle "There's a mechanism you just PUSH IT!"-Frank "Dad can't you sit sideways? We are five blocks from the house."-George "Sideways? Like an ANIMAL! Because of HER I have to sit like an ANIMAL! SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!"-Frank "Serenity now?"-George "The doctor gave me a relaxation tape for my blood pressure. When I get stressed the man on the tape says to say SERENITY NOW!"-Frank "Did he say to yell it?"-George "The man wasn't specific."-Frank "What happened to the screen door? It blew off again."-George "I TOLD YOU TO FIX THAT THING!"-Estelle "SERENITY NOW!!!!"-Frank
  • "Frank I'm cold! Let's move to that table."-Estelle "We are sitting in a BOOTH! I didn't come all the way from Queens to sit at a TABLE!"-Frank "I DIDN'T COME ALL THE WAY FROM QUEENS TO SIT AT A DRAFTY BOOTH!"-Estelle *a few minutes pass* "Anyone else feel that draft Now what was it you wanted to know about your childhood?"-Frank "It's all very clear to me now..."-George
  • "I saw a bum sleeping in a Cadillac! That's it we're moving back to Queens!"-Frank "NOOOOOOOOOO!"-Estelle "They don't just sleep in there! They URINATE!"-Frank
  • "You aren't the only one bettering yourself! I worked out with a hand weight yesterday, I feel vigorous!"-Frank
  • "You're going out with Sid Farcus? I won't let you date a bra salesman!"-Frank "Sid Farcus only sells bra's he doesn't wear them!"-Estelle
  • "Georgie would you like some Jell-O?"-Estelle "WHY DID YOU PUT THE BANNANAS IN THERE?"-Frank "GEORGE LIKES IT THAT WAY!"-Estelle "PUT THEM ON THE SIDE!"-Frank
  • "I'm at home reading a periodical and I get a call that my son's a bootlegger?!"
  • "YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!"-Frank "I could drop you like a bag of dirt!"-Elaine "You want a piece of me? YOU'VE GOT IT!!!!"-Frank
  • "That is one of my cruise shirts! GIVE BACK MY SHIRT YOU SON OF A BITCH!"-Frank
  • "George could you go down to the deli and get me a sandwhich? I just can't eat this hospital food."-Estelle "In a minute ma."-George "Visiting hours are almost over! GEORGE I'M HUNGRY! MY BLOOD SUGAR IS STARTING TO DROP!"-Estelle
  • "I'm sitting on the toliet reading the paper and find out my son is gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that! I was so shocked I fell off the toilet and threw out my back! The super had to come in and call an ambulence! I was half NAKED!"-Estelle
  • "What is this?"-Frank "It's cornish game hen."-Mrs Ross "So you hunt it?"-Frank "It's a game bird."-Mr Ross "How hard could it be to kill this thing?"-Frank
  • "Let me get something straight. The rooster goes with the chicken. Who's having sex with the hen? Something's missing."-Frank "Something's missing alright..."-Mrs Ross "The rooster has sex with the chicken and hen."-Mr Ross "That's perverse!"-Frank
  • "We forgot to bring in the bread!"-Estelle "We brought it they didn't serve it. They thought it wasn't good enough to serve!"-Frank "Maybe they forgot to put it out?"-George "It was delibrate! DELIBRATE I TELL YA!"-Frank
  • "Who doesn't serve cake after a meal? We're sitting there like idiots drinking coffee! Would it kill them to put out a pound cake?"-Estelle "So what? They didn't serve cake big deal!"-George "It's rude not to serve cake!"-Estelle "IT'S NOT RUDE! IT'S STUPID THAT'S WHAT IT IS!"-Frank
  • "I loved the movie especially the part with the helicopter..."-Mr Ross "THANKS A LOT! I HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET!"-Frank "It has nothing to do with the plot..."-Mr Ross "I LIKE TO WATCH A MOVIE AND FOR EVERYTHING TO BE FRESH!"-Frank
  • "That tie is too skinny! They're wearing them fatter these days!"-Estelle "HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!"-Frank "Go to any office building on 7th Avenue and tell me if anyone is wearing a SKINNY TIE!"-Estelle "7th Avenue? Get the hell outta here..."-Frank
  • "What were you doing up in the attic last night?"-Frank "I wasn't up in the attic...maybe it was a mouse?"-George "THAT'S IT WE'RE MOVING! I WILL NOT TOLERATE INFESTATION! I WILL NEVER BE COMFORTABLE AGAIN..."-Frank "Frank that's enough..."-Estelle *buttering toast*
  • "Are you trying to keep us out of Del Bocca Vista?!"-Frank
  • "We're moving to Del Bocca Vista because the Seinfeld's don't want us there. NO ONE TELLS FRANK COSTANZA WHAT TO DO!"-Frank
  • "Morty...this is Frank Costanza. You think you can keep us out of Florida?! Guess what? We just got a condo in Del Bocca Vista! You will see me at the Clubhouse, pool, and I'll be ALL OVER that shuffle board court! AND I DARE YOU TO TRY TO STOP ME!"-Frank
  • "Here take my swimming trunks I won't need them."-Frank "WHY WOULD HE WANT YOUR TRUNKS?!"-Estelle "WHY SHOULD THEY GO TO WASTE!?"-Frank
  • "George we've had it with you. We love you like a son but even parents have limits."-Frank "You're tired of me?"-George "The break-ups, the firings, and those calls every Sunday."-Estelle "We are in the prime of our lives and we should enjoy it. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go make love to your mother."-Frank
  • "Why did Kramer park in the woods?"-Estelle "Isn't it obvious?! No parking meters!"-Frank
  • "I wasn't born here so I can't be President. That's why I don't vote. IF THEY DON'T WANT ME I DON'T WANT THEM!"-Frank
  • "What stain?"-Frank "You didn't notice? It has a pee stain."-Kramer "YOU HAD ME SLEEPING ON A PEE STAINED COUCH?!"-Frank "No the cushion was turned over."-George "You had me lying in a pool of URINE!"-Frank
    Quotes by Kramer's lawyer Jackie Childs
  • "The tabacco company has turned this beautiful specimen into a horrid twisted freak! The man's a goblet by the time this case goes to trial he'll be nothing but a shriveled head!"
  • "You're a victim! Your face is horrid, ugly, disgusting! Your face is my case!"
  • "This is the most public yet of my many humiliations!"
  • "You had a pow-wow? Who told you to have a pow-wow? I didn't tell you to have a pow-wow!"
  • "Jackie's going to cash in on your wretched disfigurement!"
  • "You used a balm? Who told you to use a balm?!"-Jackie "The Maestro."-Kramer "The Maestro?! You're taking medical advice from a Maestro?! You should have never used the balm! It's a balm you never know what it's going to do!"-Jackie
  • "When someone makes an offer let them finish before you agree! Twenty years practicing law I've never experienced anything like this!"
  • "You had to sneak the coffee in the movie theatre? That's an enfringement on your rights as a consumer!"
  • "Why would you need free coffee? I don't need free coffee! It only costs a quarter! I can get my own damn coffee!"
  • "So she's walking around with nothing but a bra on? You're driving along get distracted wreck and ruin your dream of being a golfer!"-Jackie "Do you think we have a case?"-Kramer "I don't know..."-Jackie "She's the heiress to the Ole Henry candy bar fortune."-Kramer "Really? I love Ole Henry bars! It has peanuts...nugut...chocolate...yes we definately have a case!"-Jackie
  • "So you're taking legal advice from a caddy?! Everyone knows a bra must fit over skin to fit...like a glove!"
    Quotes by the Soup Nazi
  • "No soup for you!"
  • "You think you can get soup? You're wasting everyone's time."
  • "Where is my bread?"-George "Shhh! Just take the soup and go George!"-Jerry "You're pushing your luck little man!"-Soup Nazi "No I want my bread!"-George "You want bread?! $3!!!"-Soup Nazi "$3?! Everyone else got it for free!"-George "You know what? NO SOUP FOR YOU!"-Soup Nazi
  • "No soup for you! Come back one year!"
  • "If I knew it was YOU getting the armoire I would have smashed it to pieces!"
  • "Kramer you are the only person who truly understands me."-Soup Nazi "You suffer for your soup you expect perfection."-Kramer "How can I expect anything less from my customers?"-Soup Nazi
  • "I will have the bisque, por favor."-customer "Por Favor?!"-Soup Nazi "I'm part Spanish sir."-customer "NO SOUP FOR YOU! ADIOS MUCHACHO!"-Soup Nazi
  • "What are you doing?! No one kisses in my line!"
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