Heart's Desire
by: Cristina
Jax and Cassie have landed in Miami and are walking towards her plane. He lights up when he sees it. She smiles upon seeing his reaction.
"I take it you approve."
"Are you kidding? Cassie, this is amazing. Only five of these planes survived World War Two. How did you get one?"
She smiles. "I have my resources ... Would you like to fly?"
Jax looks at her suspiciously. "You're kidding, right? I thought that you were so determined to prove that you don't need me here."
"Well, I think that I've already proven that." She laughs. "Besides, I know how you men are ... always have to be in the driver's seat. Or, the pilot's seat, as the case may be. And far be it for me to impugn your manhood by forcing you to ride shotgun."
He stops and faces her. "You're making fun of me now."
She tosses him the keys and climbs in the passenger side. "Maybe just a little."
Excitedly, Jax climbs in behind the controls of the planes. He skillfully puts on the headset and requests clearance for takeoff. Cassie watches him and can't help noting how sexy he looks in the pilot seat. He is definitely one of the hotter guys that she has encountered in her lifetime.
Jax notices that she is watching him. "What?"
This brings her back to reality. "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that you look like a kid in a candy store behind the controls there."
He smiles. "I've always wanted to fly one of these things. Thanks."
"No problem. So, what do we do first, once we get to Jamaica?"
Jax begins to taxi down the runway. "I think we should check you into a hotel for some rest and I'll head over to the Esperanza chapel and see what I can find."
"Nice try, Jax, but you are not going to leave me at the hotel. I don't intend to let you have all the adventure, while I tan by the pool. We do this together, or I can do this by myself. Your choice."
"Why do you have to be so stubborn?"
She shrugs. "Maybe it's in my blood. Whatever the case, you are going to have to deal with the fact that you are not leaving me behind."
He smiles as the plane begins to takeoff. "You remind me of..."
"Of who? This isn't going to be an insult, is it?"
Jax shakes his head. "Of Brenda," he says quietly.
She turns and looks at him carefully. "Is that your wife?"
He nods, not looking at her. All of his attention is focused on the skies before them. "Well, she was never my wife legally."
"But she was in your heart," Cassie finishes for him.
Jax looks at her, curious. "How did you know I was going to say that?"
She shrugs. "I could tell by the look in your eyes that you love her very much. And you always will. Besides, you still refer to her as your wife."
He nods. "She was everything to me."
Cassie turns in her seat to face him. "Then what happened? Most problems can be worked out."
Jax shakes his head. "Not this one. There are some things that can't be ... forgiven."
**********
They land safely in Jamaica. Jax rents a car and they drive to one of the nicest resorts on the island. Once they are checked in, Jax knocks on her door. Cassie opens it and welcomes him inside.
"You know, Jax, we really didn't have to stay somewhere this elaborate. I realize that we're both used to having money, but..."
He walks out onto her balcony. "Why should we stay anywhere less than perfect? We can afford the best. Why not enjoy it?"
Cassie looks up from her packing and smiles at him. "I guess so." She walks out to join him on the balcony. "So...it's too late for us to go to the chapel now. What do you want to do?"
Jax looks at her. "What do you say to dinner? I'll meet you downstairs in an hour?"
"Okay."
*********
Cassie walks up to the matre'd of the resort's five-star restaurant. He leads her towards the table where Jax is already seated. She is wearing simple, sleeveless, black cotton dress. It's simplicity only serves to highten her beauty. Her hair is down, and all of her curls are framing her face. When she arrives at the table, Jax glances up and for some unexplicable reason, his heart begins to beat a little faster.
Jax stands and holds out her chair for her. "You're early."
She sits down. "I never believed in keeping a man waiting. Yet another of my short-comings in Grandmother's eyes." She reaches for the menu, but Jax stops her.
"Would you mind, horribly, if I ordered?"
Cassie leans back in her chair. "I don't know. You may be pushing it a little. My feminist heart is screaming at me to say no ... but I think I'll survive."
Jax nods. "Good...you look very nice, by the way."
She smiles. "Thanks. You clean up pretty well, too." A little too well, she thinks to herself. Okay, Cass, just stop thinking about how gorgeous he is. The poor man just lost the woman he loved with all his heart. You don't want to just be a rebound. She reaches for her glass of ice-water.
"It's really beautiful here, isn't it?"
Cassie looks up at him. "Yes ... I've missed the ocean."
"Not me. I've been living in Malibu for the past month. But it's different here. It's more ... I don't know. Maybe there are just too many memories in Malibu."
Cassie rests her head on her hands. "Memories of Brenda?"
He nods. "It's where I first fell in love with her."
"Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea for you to stay there, then."
Jax looks at her. "Maybe not. But it was better than Port Charles."
"Port Charles?"
"That's where Brenda was from. It's where I met her and we lived there for our whole 'married' life. I couldn't take staying there in the penthouse. Where everything reminded me of her. And the people ..."
"What about them?"
Jax takes a sip of wine. "Let's just say, that there were quite a few people who weren't at all shocked that my relationship with Brenda folded. And a couple are no doubt celebrating it. I couldn't take seeing him and knowing..."
"Seeing who?"
"Forget it. Let's just deal with the issue before us."
Cassie raises her eybrows. "So formal all of a sudden. Can I just give you one piece of advice? About Port Charles?"
"Can I stop you?"
She laughs. "Probably not. If it really disturbs you that much, then by all means, cut off all ties. But, if there are still unresolved issues for you, with the people there, make sure that you deal with them. Because you'll regret it for the rest of your life. You need closure, Jax. Anyone could tell you that."
He nods. "Closure, huh? I see we enjoyed psych 101."
"Yes. We enjoyed it so much that we majored in psychology with a minor in anthropology. But don't let that intimidate you."
He can't help smiling. "I'm never intimidated. Wow. Beauty and brains too. And here I was thinking that you were faking that 'know it all attitude.' My mistake."
She leans forward. "Definitely. I never fake it."
Their eyes lock for a moment and Cassie is silently berating herself. Why, oh why, did you have to start flirting with him. The man is grieving the end of his marriage and you are hitting on him. Don't you have any shame? Just leave him alone. He isn't the least bit interested in you.
On his side of the table, Jax is considering the situation. He isn't quite sure what to make of Cassie's comment. Jax is definitely attracted to her, but he still loves Brenda. He doesn't want to use Cassie the way that Brenda used him to get over Sonny. But, he can't help noticing a familiar longing when he looks at her. And this scares him to death.
Cassie senses his uneasiness and decides to change the subject. "Has Jerry always been like this? Running all over the world and getting into trouble?"
Jax smiles. "That's my brother for you. I think it's because he knows what it's like to have nothing. And now he has everything. So, Jer's determined to enjoy it."
"There was a time when you didn't have money?"
He nods. "Yeah. When I was a kid, living in Australia ... I would never want to go back to that time. I'm not saying that money is everything, but when you've had absolutely nothing ... it gets a heightened importance. Maybe that's wrong, but that's how it is."
"I think I understand. I mean, my family has always had money. Nothing else would be tolerated. I'm glad that things worked out so well for your family. I know I've only known you for a few hours ... but I think that you deserve to be happy."
"We all deserve to be happy."
Cassie nods, and takes another sip of water. "But some more than others. I really hope that you get past this point and find happiness again."
"Thanks. Are you happy?"
She laughs. "I haven't been happy in a very long time. I think it's mostly because of my family. They have a tendency to suck the joy out of everything. Especially Grandmother. You know, when I was at college, all of my friends would talk about how much they loved their families and missed them. Not me. It was all I could do to escape them. It's not that they meant to hurt me. I just don't think they know any other way to be."
"Sorry I brought it up."
Cassie shakes her head. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. And for some reason, I feel better talking about this with you." She sighs inwardly, knowing that she could easily fall for Jax if she let herself. Don't do it, Cass. He isn't in any position to love you back.
Jax can't help looking at her. She is so beautiful and she's so open. Jax can't believe how much he has already shared with her in such a short space of time. Lady Jane had been trying for weeks to get him to open up about Brenda, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. But with Cassie ... he just felt like he could trust her with anything. And he did.
**********
Cassie was knocking on Jax's door bright and early the next morning. He opened it wearing his bathrobe. She smiled apolagetically.
"I'm sorry. I didn't intend to get up this early, but I was just so ...excited ... I couldn't really sleep. I'll just go back to my room until you're ready."
Jax grabs her arm and pulls her inside. "Don't be ridiculous. I'll just be a couple minutes." He walks into the other room. Jeez ... he'd never met someone who was this perky in the morning.
While Jax is getting dressed, Cassie is walking in circles around the living room of his suite. She is looking very cute in a periwinkle blue shorts set with a white linen blouse underneath. "You know, Jax, we have time to get breakfast before we leave."
He walks into the room, saying, "Sure."
Cassie turns around and sees that he is wearing white pants and a pale blue shirt, still unbuttoned. Her voice catches in her throat at the sight of his muscular chest. She raises her eyes heavenward, as if to ask God what he is trying to do to her. At this rate, she's going to need several cold showers. She's silent, watching Jax button up his shirt. He holds the door open and beckons for her to walk through.
She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind. "Let's go."
*********
After their leisurely breakfast, Jax and Cassie walk over to the church, where they should find the next clue. As they approach the chapel, she puts her sunglasses on her head and looks at the map closely.
"Well, Jax, it would appear that we want to find some sort of waterfall ... any ideas?"
"I think so. Here, walk with me for a minute." She follows him around to the other side of the chapel.
"Jax, I really don't understand--"
"Listen. Do you hear that?"
Cassie listens for a moment and hears the rushing water that caught Jax's attention. They walk along a semi-hidden path thorugh the trees and come upon a huge rushing waterfall. She turns to Jax, smiling excitedly.
"This is so great!! Now there's something here about a "endless cavern of darkness." A cave?"
"I think you might be right." He directs her attention to a cave that has it's opening behind the waterfall.
Carefully, so as not to break their necks, Jax and Cassie walk on the rocks to the back of the waterfall. More than once, Jax takes her arm to steady her, and she feels as though a current of electricity is flowing through her. Once inside, she takes the lead and proceeds down the cavern.
"Jax, there's nothing here that could possibly help us. And the rest of the map doesn't seem to go with the first part." She notices that he is looking at something over on the wall. "Jax? What's wrong?"
He smiles at her. "Nothing's wrong. Come over here." She walks over and stands next to him. Cassie doesn't see what he's seeing and looks at him, expectingly. He positions her in front of him and rests his hands on her shoulders. "Look."
She's really trying to look, but Cassie can't think about anything besides the fact that he is so close to her and touching her. Oh, goodness, you've got it bad. He's just standing behind you and you can hardly breathe.
This cannot be good.
"Cassie?"
"Yeah! Um...what are we looking at?"
Jax isn't sure where her head is. "At the drawing on the wall."
Now she sees it. There is a drawing of what looks like South America on the wall. Cassie turns and looks up at Jax. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I think that we are in the wrong place. Well ... we were led to the wrong place. It would appear that we are supposed to go to Brazil now."
She turns to face him. "Where did you get that?"
Jax leans close to her and traces the drawing on the wall. He is so close to her, that Cassie is afraid she might pass out. Breathe, Cass. You do not need to swoon at his feet. Have a little dignity. What would Grandmother say.
"The part of the map that would be Brazil is colored in red. What's the next clue?"
"Umm ... right. Let's see ..." Jax looks at her closely, wondering why she is acting so strangely. It felt good to be so close to her. He wasn't sure why, but he was drawn to Cassie. "Here we go. Something here about our next destination. You're right, we'll be leaving Jamaica. Umm ... to the city of passion and a carnival of mystery. What is that supposed to mean?"
Jax has a strange glow in his eye. "I think I know. Cassie, pack your bags. Rio, here we come!"
...to be continued..