Intrigue & Passion-4

It was 2 o'clock in the morning. Stretching his arms behind his head Jax was about to pop the last of Brenda's tapes into the tape deck but decided against it. He didn't know how to react to everything he had heard. Picking up the phone he dialed Johnny's number.

Johnny groaned when the phone rang and fumbled for it.

"Utah here. "

"Johnny, it's Jax. "

"Jax? "

He reached for his alarm clock and sighed. Only his agents would call him at this ungodly hour.

"This had better be an emergency Jax. "

"It is. Can you meet me at the gym in a ½ hour? "

"Oh come on Jax. "

"I need to discuss these tapes Johnny. I'm going nuts over here. Information overload. I have to get it out of my system. "

Johnny heard the stress in Jax's voice and reluctantly sat up in bed. His wife moaned and reached out for him. He patted her shoulder and watched enviously as she drifted off to sleep again.

"Okay Jax. I'll be there. But why don't you call Brenda? "

"I can't Johnny. Not until I work through some of what I heard tonight. "

"You'll have about 1 hour with me Jax. Then I'm coming home to my wife. "

"Thanks Johnny. I'll see you there. "

Jax walked into his bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He didn't know what to think of everything he had heard. Sonny had been behind the whole thing after all, but did it make him forgive Brenda for betraying him. He just didn't know if he was capable of that. Pulling on his sweat pants and a WSB T-shirt he grabbed his coat and keys and walked out of his apartment. A good workout would make it all clear.

Brenda walked into the gym and smiled. 2 am was the best time to work out. Especially since she didn't sleep very well. Popping a CD into the high-tech treadmill she turned it on high and started running. Sometimes working out to the point of exhaustion was the best way for her to get to sleep, and not have any dreams, to not wake up thinking about Jax.

Music flooded into her ears and smiling she pumped her arms. Yes, when no-one else was in the gym she loved it.

2:30 am. Jax walked into the gym and looked for Johnny. He wasn't there. Hearing the sound of a treadmill Jax decided to see what other agent worked out at this ungodly hour. He wasn't happy.

She had the treadmill on the highest speed. She needed the extra push tonight. She didn't hear Jax walk into the room. Didn't even feel his presence when he stood in front of her. Brenda just kept on running. She could feel her muscles tightening in her legs and knew that she should turn the speed down, but she needed the extra push tonight. The thoughts of Jax were swimming around in her mind and she had to drown them out. She had to.

Suddenly she felt a sharp cramp in her leg and cried out. Before she could catch herself she lost her footing. Strong arms wrapped around her waist and caught her before she fell against the speeding treadmill.

"BRENDA! "

Jax reacted instinctively to her cry of pain. He was at her side in a second, catching her in his arms. He wasn't prepared for the shock of feelings that rushed through him when flesh met flesh. Unable to control himself Jax carried Brenda over to the nearest bench. Cradling her face in his hands he gazed into her eyes.

Over the pain from the muscle pull he saw confusion. She hadn't even noticed that he had come in. And now all of a sudden she was in his arms. He didn't think he could let her go. God, he had dreamt of holding her for so long. Even though she had broken his heart, he still needed her. She was his soul and he needed her, but they could never be together again. They would work on this case together. He would protect her with his life, but then it would end. He wouldn't allow himself to be pulled apart ever again.

"Jax…"

Brenda whispered his name. Her leg hurt like hell but she didn't feel it. She was in his arms again. His hands were cupping her face and he was gazing into her eyes. She could see his confusion, and knew that it mirrored her own. Their close proximity was unnerving but neither of them moved away. She could feel his breath, could feel the rise and fall of his chest under her hand. A tear fell from her eye and he gently wiped it away.

He was going to kiss her. Jax hated the lack of control he was about to display, but he needed to taste her again, to feel her open herself to him. Slowly he touched his lips to hers, caught her gasp of surprise and lost himself.

That was how Johnny found them. Deciding not to disturb the powerful emotions he could feel in the room, he sat down by the door and waited. Eventually they would realize he was there. Johnny smiled, it looked like Corinthos was about to be nailed but good, and he deserved it for destroying the love he saw between Brenda and Jax, a love that obviously hadn't died after four years of separation.

Music from the forgotten CD player filled the room and Johnny shut his eyes. They'd wake him when the were through.

Annie Lennox again, Stay By Me

"Stay by me

And make the moment last

Please take these lips

Even if I have been kissed

A million times

Brenda sighed, he tasted the same. He felt the same. She leaned into him and deepened the kiss, wanting more but knowing she wouldn't get it. Stunned that he had even kissed her.

And I don't care if there's no tomorrow

When I could die here in your arms

Even if the stars have made us blind

We're blind, we're blind

So blind in love

He was losing himself in her. Jax knew he should pull away but he had to make it last, make the moment last just a little longer. He had dreamed of this for such a long, long time. When she deepened the kiss he accepted what she offered.

Sweet darling

Don't you know that we're no different to anyone

We stumble

We falter

But we're no different than anyone

Brenda pulled away first. Her hands tangled in Jax's thick hair. She didn't think she'd ever be able to breath again. Four lost years of passion had been poured into that kiss. Four years that she had thrown away. Tears filled her eyes as she jumped off Jax's lap. She wouldn't let herself fall into him again. She couldn't. Because she would only end up hurting him. He needed someone…Brenda gasped as pain shot through her leg…when he offered to help her she turned away. He needed someone who wasn't worthless. Grabbing her bag she backed out of the gym, she didn't even notice Johnny watching them from the corner. The last verse of the song drifted out to her as she limped down the hall sobbing. It made her remember New Orleans and dancing with Jax in the rain, it made her realize that they'd never have that again.

And the winter snow has melted down

into a pool of silver water

And we are standing in a thunder cloud

Dark as your hair

Dark as your hair.

He watched her limp out the door and stared stupidly at his empty hands. He wanted her back. Jax couldn't believe he was shaking so badly. God, what had he done.

Johnny walked over to Jax and smiled.

"We need to talk Jax. "

Jax knew that Johnny had witnessed the whole exchange between he and Brenda.

"Let's get a drink. There was a hell of a lot on those tapes Johnny. "

Grabbing his coat Jax walked out behind Johnny.

"Yup. Brenda's a complicated and amazing woman Jax. "

"You can say that again. "

Johnny laughed.

"I know. Now buy me that drink and I'll tell you what you need to know. "