by Shani
Julia and Brenda got up early in the morning to find Brenda a wedding dress.
"I want something simple. Just a little white dress, it's going to be small."
Brenda had wanted to invite all of her friends from Port Charles, but her
and Jax decided maybe it would be best to keep things quiet until they figured
out why Sonny decided to stay in London.
"I can't beleive my little sister's getting married." Julia stated, tears
welling up in her eyes.
"I can't beleive you're actually going to be at the wedding" Brenda laughed.
"Hey I was waiting for you to find the right man..."
"Jax found me. I was lucky."
"So is he."
Brenda smiled as the clerk handed her a few dresses to try on. She walked
into the dressing room and Julia sat outside. "Brenda?"
"Yeah?"
"What's going on with Jax and Jerry?"
Brenda was quiet. "It's complicated" she finally answered. "I can't get into
it."
"Well, can you tell me when it started?"
"It started a long time ago....but it got really bad a couple of days
ago."
"When he asked you to marry him?"
"Actually." Brenda came out in a dress. "I asked Jax to marry me. He just
suggested that we get married here....what do you think?" Brenda said with
a twirl. "I like it."
"It's beautiful...Brenda?"
"Oh oh...I know that *Brenda* anywhere. That means you have something to
say that I won't want to here. Save it okay?" she walked back into the dressing
room.
"Maybe this isn't the best time....Brenda?...I know that Jax loves you and
you love him...it's just that the timing...how can I put this?"
"I'm not the only one who hides her problems behind romance. Right?" Brenda
came out in another dress and looked at Julia.
But Julia didn't have to say anything.
Jax walked out of the store and into his limo. But before it drove off there
was a knock on Jax's limosine window. Jax looked out the widow.
"Sir?" asked the chauffer.
"It's fine." Jax placed the ring he had bought for Brenda in his pocket.
He reached over and opened the door. "Katherine."
"Good thing you're here...I was starting to worry." she said as she walked
in.
"About what?"
"Well, I saw Brenda and she wasn't with you. So I wondered why she would
be here....Sonny being here at the same time. So, why are you
here?"
"Anything else?" Jax reached over Katherine and opened the door. "I have
pressing business to attend to."
Katherine looked at him. "You and me are on the same side you know. I don't
want Brenda anywhere near Sonny, just like you don't want Sonny anywhere
near her." Katherine got out and closed the door.
Jax picked up his phone. "Sean. Did you see that blonde that just left here...yes
that's her...I want her followed....how is Brenda?"
Brenda finished her coffee. Julia had gotten called away to a meeting so
she was alone. She placed the tip on the table and walked out.
Sonny stood outside of the restaurant and waited for Katherine to meet him.
He turned to look into the restaurant and saw Brenda.
Automatically she froze. Sonny walked into the restaurant. She looked around.
Sonny wouldn't do anything to her in front of all of these people.
"Brenda."
"Sonny."
"You look great."
"Thank you."
"Visiting Julia?"
So he knew Julia was here. "Yes."
"Where's Jax?"
"Waiting in the car."
"You're a lousy liar Brenda." Sonny said with a smile. "Don't worry. I'm
not following you."
"You're a lousy liar." Brenda stated. "Excuse me." she walked past him and
out of the door.
Sonny grabbed her hand and Brenda spun around. Without speaking Sonny bent
down and kissed her gently on her hand. "Goodbye Brenda." he dropped her
hand and looked at her. Brenda looked back at him for a second and then walked
away.
Jax stood on the balcony of Julia's house, drinking lemonade, playing what
Sean told him back in his head. "Katherine is with Sonny now...but there's
more. Brenda was just talking to Sonny."
"I didn't ask you to give me Brenda's whereabouts."
"Julia wasn't with them...they weren't fighting. In fact they had a nice
goodbye."
Jax played with Miranda's medallion for a minute and then tossed it over
the balcony.
"Jax?"
Jax turned around. "Hi Brenda. Where's the dress?" Jax asked, a sinking feeling
in his stomach.
"I didn't get one."
"Why? Do you need more time."
"No. I...I don't think we should get married...right now."
"Why does this sound familiar?" Jax drank some more lemonade. "Why
not?"
"The timing is bad. I don't think...I don't think you really want to get
married to me right now. I think you're hiding." She knew that wasn't going
to go over well.
Or at least she thought.
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"Fine." Jax finished his drink and looked at Brenda. His phone started ringing
so he walked back inside.
"So you think I'm right?" Brenda had been dreading this. She had expected
for Jax to tell her that she didn't know what she was talking about and that
he wanted to marry her tomorrow because he wanted to marry her tomorrow.
This was not the reaction she was expecting.
"Okay..." Jax said into the phone before hanging up. "I have to go back to
Port Charles...it seems someone is trying to sabatoge the Langston accont."
Sonny kissed Katherine before she boarded the plane. He walked back to his
car.
"Mr. Corinthos?"
Sonny turned around. "What do you want?"
"Mishka wanted you to have something." the woman stated as she walked towards
him. "She wanted you to know there were no hard feelings in having Jason
killing her."
Sonny didn't say anything. Because he didn't have a chance to. The woman
pulled out a gun and shot him 7 times, killing him almost instantly. She
took the silencer off the gun and walked to a phone booth. She dialed. "It's
done."
Jason hung up the phone fighting back tears. He walked back into his apartment.
Then he remembered the first thing Sonny had taught him. Survival of the
fittest.
"Do you think I'm right?" Brenda repeated. "You want to get married because
you feel alone and scared and you think maybe if we get married now, it will
bring permanance into your life. I've been there. But we don't have to get
married. I'm not going anywhere. Trust me."
"Brenda if you don't think we should get married we shouldn't get married.
Okay?"
"But will you at least *acknowledge* I have a point."
"Once in my life I kept something from you, and that was Miranda. I shouldn't
have and I'm sorry. But I've been honest with you. And if I say I want to
marry you and you can't accept that that's on you, not on me."
"This isn't about you wanting to marry me. This is about why you want to
marry me now."
"Because I want to. Because I do things on the spur of the moment."
"Maybe. But that's not all of it."
"Don't psychoanalyze me." Jax went into the guest room and started to pack.
Brenda followed him. "I say what I mean, and I do what I want. There's nothing
more to it."
"I know you Jax. You don't always say what you want and you don't always
do what you want. How many times have you bitten your tongue because you
didn't want to hurt me? You tell me the truth but sometimes getting you to
tell me *everything* is like pulling teeth. Maybe you don't even tell yourself
*everything*"
With that statment the pressure and anger Jax had been feeling since Miranda's
death came to the forefront. Jax tossed a shirt into the bag and looked at
Brenda. "What is *everything*?! How am I supposed to tell myself *everything*
when the people around me don't tell me *everything*?! People tell me what
they think I have a right to know and they tell me what I want to hear, but
they don't tell me what I have a *right* to hear! Now I asked you to marry
me here in London and I've told you why...there's nothing more to it! Am
I angry with Jerry and everybody else?! Yes...but I wouldn't risk our
relationship by asking you to marry when I wasn't ready! Now if you don't
want to get married *FINE* but do not tell me what I feel!"
"Someone does."
"WHAT?"
"Someone has to tell you what you feel or else you'll just sit there and
let your feelings fester because you won't admit them until someone makes
you. You sit there and tell me that you're fine and you're not. I know that
you're not. You can fool yourself but you can't fool me. I *know* you."
Jax picked up his bag. "I've got to go Brenda."
"Why? Because I'm right?" Brenda knelt on the bed so she would be eye to
eye with Jax. "Like when Sean told you that he saw me with Sonny you sat
here and counted the hours waiting for me to come home, yet you told yourself
that it wouldn't matter. But when I walked in I saw the look of releif on
your face because part of you is*still* worried that I'll leave you for him
one day. Because I left you before. But I am *not* leaving. And I don't need
a ring on my finger to keep me with you. And now IS NOT the time for us to
get married because you are WAY too angry. You just proved that a second
ago."
Jax sighed deeply. He kissed Brenda on the cheek and turned towards the
door.
"I knew that you'd do that. Because now you think that if we drop this now
I'll never bring it up again. But I'll bring it upa again. WHEN I come back
to Port Charles....Jax?"
Jax stopped.
"Did you hear what I said...I said *when*".
He turned around and looked at her. Then he grabbed his jacket off the door
and left.
Shani