Time After Time-6

by Annie

Jax looked across the restaurant and felt a lump rise in his throat. Brenda was sitting just a few tables away. She was checking her make-up in her compact mirror, just like he had seen her do a million times. He thought he knew her so well. The man in the dark suit standing a few yards behind her also caught his eye, obviously one of Sonny's goons.

Jax took a deep breath and approached her table. "Hello Brenda."

The compact clicked shut and Brenda beamed up at him, "Jax!" She held out her hand, took his and pulled him down for a hello kiss.

"How is this not awkward for her?" Jax asked himself as he sat down across from her. He was almost reeling from the onslaught of memories and emotions running through him.

"How have you been?" She asked.

"Fine. Busy."

"I know. I haven't seen you for months. I thought for a while you had moved to England."

"I was only there three weeks, Brenda."

"Is that all? It seemed longer. The holidays are fun there aren't they? Were John and Jane with you?"

"Yes, but it wasn't exactly a vacation. There was a death in the family." The look of alarm on Brenda's face made him continue quickly. "It was a cousin. You never met him."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Thanks. . . How have you been?"

"Oh, fine. I've been busy too, getting ready for next fall's ad campaigns."

Jax nodded. A long pause was interrupted by the waiter coming to take their order. Jax welcomed anything that moved things along. There was a question on his mind that he hoped he could himself keep from asking her. He was afraid of what the answer might be.

They discussed their recent travels until their lunch arrived. Brenda had been to Milan and described her latest shopping spree. Both managed to avoid any topic too personal or likely to cause conflict.

After eating and ordering coffee, Brenda excused herself and went to the Ladies' Room, followed closely by the goon who had been watching them the whole time. She didn't seem to care. The thought of her living that kind of life made Jax sick; always in danger, never knowing when bullets would be flying your way. Brenda used to hate it too. Or so he thought. He should have figured out by now that he never really knew her at all. Not when it came to important things. He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his hand.

"Are you alright, Jax?" Brenda looked concerned as she rejoined him at the table.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Good. Because I want you to do something for me."

Jax looked up at her awaiting her request.

"I want you to promise me that we'll always be friends, no matter what happens. "

"I already promised you that a long time ago, and I meant it."

"Yeah, you always keep your promises don't you?" She smiled at him.

"And my vows." Jax thought. "Now it's your turn, Brenda," he told her. "I need to ask you something and I want you to give me an honest answer." He swallowed hard and forced out the words. "How long had you been seeing. . . . sleeping with Sonny before I found you together?"

"Why? That doesn't matter now."

"Yes, it does. It matters to me. Tell me."

Brenda looked away and nervously adjusted the napkin on her lap. Jax's question was dragging her kicking and screaming out of her denial of the fact that she had hurt him, betrayed him. She just couldn't look into those beautiful eyes, so she stared at her coffee cup as she answered quietly, "a couple weeks or so."

Jax sat stunned. The implications of her words made his chest feel as if it had been hit by a wrecking ball. He remembered several nights when they had made love after one of her meetings with Sonny. The idea of her turning down Sonny's advances and coming home to him, to their new life together excited him. Jax tried hard to breathe. She must have come home from another man's bed, Sonny's damn bed, and then made love to him, on more than one occasion.

"My God, Brenda." He finally whispered. "When we said nobody leaves no matter what, I never imagined you capable of that level of dishonesty." He shook his head. "You should have told me."

"I know. Jax, please. Can't we just put all that in the past and be best friends like we used to?"

After a moment spent gathering his thoughts, Jax replied, "I will always be your friend as I promised, but I need time. Time to deal with what's happened and put it all in perspective. I can't pretend that everything is okay with us right now. Can you understand that?"

"I don't want to lose you." Her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked up at him.

"You're not. I just need to take a break from you for a while, okay?"

Brenda sighed, and placed her hand over his. "Okay, as long as it's not too long."

"Good-bye, Brenda." Jax removed his hand, got up and walked out of the restaurant.

**************

Jennie ran from the baby's future room to the ringing phone. "Hello?" She answered breathlessly.

"Hey! What were you doing, sweatin' to the oldies?" Sharon laughed.

"Very funny. I was painting down the hall and listening to the radio. When I turned it off I heard the phone ringing so I ran to get it. Little did I know it was only you."

"Were you expecting someone else to call?" Sharon asked teasingly.

"No, Miss Jax on the brain!

"Hey! Who said anything about Jax?"

"You can't fool me. I know what you're thinking. Is that the only reason you called, to see if I've heard from Jax?"

"No, that's not why I called at all."

"Uh-huh. Sure." Jennie teased.

"Cut it out! I was wondering how things went with old Mr. Murphy, but now I'm not sure I care."

"Aw. What's the matter? You can dish it out but you can't take it?"

"Jennie! I'm hanging up now!"

"Okay, okay! I'll stop." Jennie stifled her laughter. "Mr. Murphy was very understanding. He said that they would be glad to have me back and although my old position had been filled, there is one open in accounting that I can have until something better opens up."

"See, I told you. Trust me, the guy who replaced you can not last much longer. He's hardly even there and when he is he's having phone sex with his girlfriend. It's really too much. You'll be back where you belong in no time."

"I hope so. Accounting isn't really my thing, but I can deal with it for a while."

"When do you start?"

"Monday."

"Cool. We get to have lunch together again. I can't wait!"

"Yeah, It'll be nice to get back to normal, well, close to normal, anyway." Jennie mused.

"Right."

"Hey, I actually met one of my neighbors today. A Mrs. Pulaski, one floor down, who is so sweet and totally hilarious. She has 9 grown children and one daughter still at home. And she could tell I was pregnant by just looking at me. Isn't that weird?"

"Uh, not really, Jen. Anyone who knows you would definitely notice it. Believe it or not you're starting to show. "

"I am? I mean, I know I'm gaining weight but I thought it was in a more all over kind of way."

"Not any more. Looks like we'll have to go shopping!" Sharon practically sang that last word excitedly.

"Oh I can take care of it. You don't have to come." Jennie grinned, waiting for the objection she knew was coming. She had no intention of shopping without Sharon and Sharon knew it.

"Oh no you don't. You need my expertise and guidance. You know no one can sniff out a bargain like me!" She was glad to hear Jennie joking around so much. It was a good sign.

"How could I forget? I suppose you can come along if you want to."

"Gee thanks. Hey Jen?"

"Yeah?"

"You're doing better every day huh?"

"Yeah, so far. Thanks to you and Jax."

"So when is he due back from Vancouver? I'm just wondering, so don't even start! Just answer the question."

Jennie couldn't help laughing. "Probably tonight. He said he has an appointment this afternoon, then he's taking a few days off. Any more questions? You want me to find out if it's boxers or briefs for Jax?"

"That's it! I'm hanging up. Good-bye Jennie."

"Bye Sharon! Still laughing, Jennie hung up the phone and turned to go back to painting. "That woman is a trip." She chuckled to herself. Just as she picked up the paint brush again, she heard the door buzzer ring. "Now what?"

Before opening it she checked through the peephole and was surprised at who she saw. She opened the door right away. "Jax! I'm so glad to see you!" Happily she threw her arms around his neck for a big hug. "Did you get everything taken care of?"

Jax wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Yeah, I guess I did." He held her closely for an extra few seconds, needing to feel connected to someone who cared about him for just a moment. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Jennie searched his face. Something was definitely wrong.

Before she could say anything, Jax suddenly pulled away. "What have you been doing?"

"I was just painting the baby's room." Obviously he didn't want to talk about it yet.

"Want some help?"

"Sure. Why don't you go home and change and . . ." Her voice trailed off as Jax threw his suit jacket on the sofa and headed down the hall. She followed him and found him with his sleeves rolled up examining a can of paint. Her heart desperately wanted to ask him what was the matter. She decided it was better to give him time and hope he knew she was there if he needed her.

Jax looked around at the partially painted blue walls and then at the can of paint in his hands. "This is yellow."

"That's for the ceiling. There's a long handle for the roller over there."

He found it, poured some paint in a pan and started. "Does the blue mean you found out it's a boy?"

Jennie started painting again as well. "No, I picked it because it's the color of the sky. I might paint some clouds around later. I do have a sonogram scheduled next week though. Maybe I'll find out then."

"You don't want to be surprised?"

"I think I better be as prepared as possible, considering the circumstances."

"Good idea." Jax continued making long even strokes on the ceiling with the roller. After a while he told her in a matter of fact tone, "I had lunch with Brenda today."

That explained it. "Really? How did it go?" Jennie tried to keep the same casual tone as Jax.

"It was alright, I guess." He crouched down to pour some more paint into the pan. "No. It was terrible. She told me that . . .I found out . . . " He ran his hand through his hair and cleared his throat.

Jennie dropped her paint brush and knelt in front of him. Her hand reached up to cradle the side of his face. There was such pain in his eyes. "I'm right here Jax. You found out . . ."

"That she had been sleeping with Sonny for weeks while she was still sleeping with me. Sometimes even on the same day." Saying it out loud suddenly solidified the reality of it for Jax. A memory of her walking in the door and laughing and kissing him as he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to their bed ran through his mind. Everything was a lie. "God I loved her so much!" he gasped. "I just assumed we would spend our lives together. I counted on it. . . Now that's all gone."

Jennie pulled him to her and held him close. A small sob shook his body. His head rested on her shoulder and she felt his hot tears soak through her blouse. She stroked his hair and gently rubbed his back. "It'll be alright." She whispered, rocking him gently.

After a few moments, he pulled back, stood and left the room. Jennie gave him a few minutes to compose himself. It must be difficult for him to let go like that. She used the time to straighten up the painting supplies and close up the paint cans. Jax's words echoed through her head. The thought of what Brenda had done disgusted her. She could only imagine how it made Jax feel. When she finished, she walked out into the living room.

Jax was sitting on the sofa, staring out the window. Jennie sat beside him and curled her legs up under her. She reached for his hand and held it between hers. "You okay?"

He nodded. "I don't want to talk about it right now, alright?"

"Sure." She smiled at him. "I know what you need." She went into the kitchen and came back with 2 bowls of chocolate ice cream and spoons. After setting them down on the coffee table, she rifled through her video tape collection, pulled one out and popped it into the VCR, turning on the TV and grabbing the remote. She handed Jax his bowl and settled back beside him.

He looked at the ice cream then back up at Jennie. "It's late January and snowing."

"So what?"

"What are we watching?"

"Mary Poppins."

"That's for kids."

"Who says?

"This is supposed to help?"

"Yes. There is absolutely no way anyone can feel bad while they're watching 'Mary Poppins' and the ice cream is kind of insurance."

Jax couldn't help but smile.

"See, it's working already." She stated triumphantly.

"I guess you're right." He knew it wasn't the movie or the ice cream that made him feel better, it was her. He reached his arm around the back of the sofa and settled it across her shoulders. "I love you, Jennie."

She snuggled up beside him, kissed him on the cheek and smiled. "I love you too." They enjoyed the movie, together.

**********