Jax/Brenda fanfic --- "Torn" -

by Jan

TORN

Chapter 20

Jax stood in Brenda’s doorway, dripping wet, and with an intensity almost equal to the thunderstorm that was beginning to rage outside.

"May I come in?" he asked, pushing his way through the door without really waiting for an answer.

Brenda’s heart was in her mouth. Had he come back for good? She wanted to throw herself at him, weep in his arms, kiss him until he was insane with desire for her. As she closed the door against the wind-driven rain, he opened his mouth and burst her bubble.

"You look like hell! Have you been starving yourself?"

She certainly didn’t expect this reaction from him. She knew she hadn’t slept much, and had lost some weight, but were these the words from a man who was coming back to declare his love for her? Then she took a good look at him, and her hormones lit her blood to boiling.

"You don’t look so hot yourself, buster!" He had a day’s growth of blonde stubble on his chin, and there were deep lines etched by his mouth. His hair was soaking wet, and dark circles lined his eyes.

Jax took a deep breath. "I look this way because I got 4 hours of sleep last night, got up at 4 this morning, and drove all day through a tropical storm of monumental proportions!"

"Why?" Brenda asked quietly, understanding dawning. He knew. He knew about everything.

"Why?" he spit back at her. "Oh, maybe just because I found out that you were pregnant and you had come up with some insane scheme to marry Sonny Corinthos!"

"How did you find out?"

Jax took off the rain slicker and walked wearily over to a chair. "I found out, my dear, because Lois and my grandmother care enough about me to want me to know that I have a child. Obviously you don’t." He saw the emotions flitting across her face, and knew his weariness was making him handle this all wrong. His tone softened and his eyes registered the hurt. "Why didn’t you want to tell me, Brenda?" Her heart went out to him, looking so much like the lost little boy.

Then he put his foot in it again. "How could you just take my child away from me and give it to a crime lord?"

Her hormones raged. "YOUR child! YOUR child! What about me? Who do you think is going to carry this child for 9 months? It’s my child too, you know!"

"But why, Brenda? Why would you do this to me?"

"I did it FOR you!"

"Well, thank you SO very much," he said sarcastically, his voice raising a pitch. "Obviously, oh great and wise one, you know better than I do what I want or need."

Her lip began to tremble at his barb. "Don’t you dare speak to me like that. I just couldn’t have the baby alone. I didn’t know how I would have managed."

"Brenda," he said softly again. "No one asked you to handle it alone."

Now, lack of sleep caught her in its web. "Oh, no, here comes the noble Jasper Jacks again. This time he’ll sacrifice everything he ever wanted in life, just so he can marry the poor loser who couldn’t keep her calendar straight, who couldn’t keep her clothes on…"

"Brenda, stop it!!" He was tired, and rapidly losing patience. "This isn’t getting us anywhere and we just keep saying things that only make things worse and hurt each other." He looked at her with the same determined face she saw when he was about to pounce on an unsuspecting company he would acquire. "I’m back now, and you’ll marry me, not Corinthos."

"Oh, no I won’t!" she blurted. This was even worse than she imagined. All she saw right now was his hurt and anger. He was glaring at her like a thing, not a person. He was ordering her to marry him, not asking. She could never live with his hatred and rage. It was her controlling father all over again.

"Excuse me?" he said quietly, yet almost scaring her.

"I said I won’t marry you, not if you were the last man on earth! I would rather marry Sonny Corinthos! Look at you – cold, passionless, calculating …."

Jax had heard enough. He had almost driven himself to a watery grave just to get back to this woman. He loved her with all his heart. He had lost a love once, but he wouldn’t lose again.

His loud expletive made Brenda jump. She saw a fire in his eyes she had never seen before. "I lost Julia, but I’ll walk through fire before I lose you, too!"

Brenda’s hand clapped over her mouth, and she thought she might finally lose the fight she had been waging the last few hours with nausea. Jax was angry and determined to marry her – because it would make up for his losing Julia. She would be a substitute for the sister he could never have. She burst into tears, and ran up the staircase for the bathroom. He heard her as she slammed the bathroom door and locked it, giving in to the sobs that had been building all evening.

{Well, Jax, you silver-tongued devil, you handled that well. Came here to make sure the woman you love, the mother of your child, would marry you, and instead you put your foot in your mouth and make her so angry she locks herself in the bathroom. Why would she want a mobster like Corinthos when she could have a smooth operator like you?}

Jax shook his head and put his finger to his lips in thought. He saw her suitcase next to the front door, and then slowly climbed the steps to the bathroom and her bedroom. He saw the locked door and still heard the crying. Then he peeked into her bedroom and saw the mostly-packed suitcase. A plan began to form, and he started to have hope again.

He saw the lace dress laying half-folded on the bed, and suspected it was her wedding dress. Grabbing that and a few things from the dresser, he threw them in and closed the suitcase and locked it. He hauled it back downstairs and set it next to the first one at the door. Then he went back to her phone, praying it wasn’t out of order from the storm.

He dialed a number quickly. "V? This is Jax. Yes, I’m back in Port Charles. Yes, I got the e-mail." He listened to her babble for 10 seconds before he blew. "V!! Be quiet and listen." Then he remembered his track record so far this evening and softened his tone. "Thank you, Venus. I need you to get a messenger to deliver this message around 1 o’clock tomorrow afternoon to Mr. Sonny Corinthos. Ready? The message should read, "Sorry. Wedding cancelled. Marrying Jax instead. Have a good life. Brenda."" He paused while she wrote it down. "Got that? Good. OK, and I want you to send a copy of the note by messenger to Mrs. Lois Ashton and Mr. Harlan Barrett." He smiled. "Oh, and one more copy – to Mrs. Josephine Jacks." After thanking V and answering just a few of her thousand questions, he hung up the phone, proud of his plan so far.

Then he put his rain slicker back on and carried Brenda’s two suitcases out to the Jag. The storm had let up some, but it still was fierce enough to almost blow the front door off the hinges. He shook off most of the rain after he came back in, and headed for Brenda’s coat closet.

He found a suitable raincoat in it, and then grabbed her purse off the table. He made his way upstairs again, and camped outside the bathroom door. He could still hear her inside, but the sobbing had been reduced to quiet sniffling. He felt like the lowest low-life on the planet. She had been through a very rough time in her life all alone, bearing the responsibility for the pregnancy by herself, and he had only made things worse.

He knocked gently. "Brenda, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so tough on you." {She probably hates you, Jax. If it weren’t for you and your hormones, she wouldn’t be in this predicament.} "Come on, Brenda. I promise I won’t yell at you anymore. You can’t stay in there all night, and I’m not going anywhere."

He heard faint noises from inside, and then the lock clicked as she opened the door. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, but he still could have crushed her to him and kissed her to oblivion. How could he not have realized he loved her before?

He held out her raincoat and purse to her. "Come on, will you at least come for a ride with me to talk about it?"

She looked at him suspiciously, but she was just too tired to argue anymore. "All right, but I’m not going to change my mind."

She walked silently beside him to the door, and he opened her umbrella for her as she locked the door behind them. She was so wrapped up in her own misery, she didn’t even notice the missing luggage or that he had turned out every light in the cottage as they left.

She took a sharp breath when she saw the Jag. The wheels were caked in mud, and the wax job was ruined with small leaves and twigs sticking to the surface of the car.

"Where have you been?" she finally asked, once they were both safe and dry inside the car.

"North Carolina. I went there to think about a lot of things."

How had Lois and Josie ever found him? And why did they bother? Now he only was angry at her and ordering her around.

He carefully made his way down the gravel road leading back to the highway, and found Brenda’s favorite jazz station on the radio. The rhythmic flip-flop of the windshield wipers, the low rumble of the rain, and the soothing music soon took their toll on Brenda, and she slumped to the side in the car and her eyes closed. She was soon deep in sleep.

Jax smiled briefly as he gazed at her. As lightning lit up the night sky, he drew some comfort. At least the only fireworks he would have to deal with tonight would be outside.

Friday, 4:30 AM

The pressure of the past 36 hours was beginning to take its toll on Jax. He chanced a glance over at Brenda, and she was still in a deep sleep. She was probably dead tired after all she had been through during the past week.

He wasn’t in much better shape himself, though. Although the storms had slowed to just a steady rain, the rhythm of the windshield wipers was beginning to affect him, too. He had only slept a few hours Wednesday night before getting an early start on his way back to Port Charles. He really didn’t have too many choices. He could wake Brenda, and take his chances with her pitching a fit when she found out his plan. Or, he could keep on driving, trying to get all the way back to Holden Beach, and end up sending them both into a ditch if he fell asleep at the wheel.

As he followed I-95 down the coast, he was near Richmond, Virginia when another plan began to take shape in his mind. He pulled the car into the Steven Kent Motor Lodge, and left the motor running as he ran in to register. He hoped the hum of the motor would keep Brenda tranquilized.

Room key in hand, he pulled around to the back and jumped out again to unlock the room door. When all was ready inside, he finally shut off the engine and lifted Brenda gently out of the car. She stirred once, opened her eyes, and then smiled and laid her head back on his shoulder. Thanking his lucky stars, Jax carried her inside the room and slipped her between the covers after easing her shoes and coat off.

He returned to the car to lock it, and then came back to the room. Only stopping to remove his own slicker and shoes, he climbed into the bed next to her, and immediately fell fast asleep.

Friday, 1 PM

Brenda slowly fought her way through the fog back into reality. She raised her head up a little bit off the pillow, and opened her eyes slowly. She was in some kind of a motel room, and as she turned her head, she saw Jax sleeping in the bed beside her.

She swung her feet over the side of the bed, and suddenly had to make a run for the bathroom. The baby was making some changes in her daily habits, and one of them was affecting her kidneys. She splashed some water on her face, hoping that it would clear her mind.

As she came out of the bathroom, towel in hand, memories of the previous night came flooding back. She remembered getting in the car with Jax, and falling asleep as he drove. He looked exhausted, she remembered. Obviously, he felt they should both get some sleep before they discussed their impasse. As she walked back to the bed, she noticed her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was knotted and in total disarray, and her clothes were rumpled. As she stood there, trying to pull a comb through her hair and make herself look presentable, she noticed the time on her wristwatch. Suddenly, she slammed the comb down and came over and shook Jax within an ounce of his life.

"Jax! Wake up! What have you done? Where are we?"

Jax sleepily opened one eye and smiled at Brenda. "Calm down, love. Stress isn’t good for expectant mothers, you know. Everything’s under control."

"What do you mean, under control? Where are we?"

He scratched his head and yawned. "Somewhere outside of Richmond, Virginia, I think." He fumbled for the pen and paper on the night stand next to the bed. "Our host today is the Steven Kent Motor Lodge."

"Jasper Jacks, I could kill you! I’m getting married today!"

He swung his legs out of the bed and smiled at her. "I appreciate your impatience, love, but I’m afraid we’ll have to wait a few more days. License and blood tests, you know."

She swatted his arm none too gently. "You idiot! I’m supposed to be marrying Sonny at 3:30 today! He’ll be waiting at City Hall!" She thought for a moment, becoming more agitated. "Oh my God! He’ll think there’s been foul play! He’ll report me to the police as a missing person!"

Jax shook his head. "Sorry, but you won’t be able to make it. We’re much too far from Port Charles for you to make it on time to the wedding anymore." She stared at him with an open mouth, and he continued. "Oh, and I took care of Sonny’s concerns. I sent a note by messenger to Sonny advising him the wedding was cancelled. Sent a copy to Lois and your father, too."

She hissed at him. "You had no right to do that."

He glared back at her. "I have every right. I’m the baby’s father." She sat down in a chair, losing steam rapidly. "Brenda, I’m sorry if I seemed a little high-handed about this, but I had to do something. You were making decisions that were very wrong. You did things YOU had no right to do, trying to hide my child’s existence from me, giving it to another man to raise. You were subjecting it to a lifetime with a cold, cruel criminal as a father."

As Jax’s words sank in, Brenda’s mind recoiled in pain. She had been trying to do the right thing, sparing Jax from a lifetime of being married to someone out of duty. Now, she saw with horror that Jax must despise her, and think her cruel and unfeeling. As she tried to examine her own motives, she thought back to their break-up. He said he was doing it for her own good, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. She thought she was doing this for HIS own good. Had she really hurt him as much as he hurt her? She realized that he must hate her for this.

Jax was putting on his shoes and running a comb through his hair. "Come on. All I want to do right now is get back to Holden Beach, change my clothes, and shave and get cleaned up. We can discuss it more then."

{HORMONE ALERT!! WARNING! WARNING!!} She plopped back down in the chair. "I won’t go. What are you going to do, haul me kicking and screaming out of this motel?"

His eyes gleamed dangerously at her. "Try me."

She gave him a defiant look and sauntered back into the bathroom, shutting the door. She leaned against it, trying to think of any possible options. She could try calling Harlan or Sonny and they might come and rescue her, but she hated to think of the confrontation they would have with Jax. She could refuse to leave with Jax, but she had no doubt at this point that he WOULD carry her physically out of the room. As she saw the futility of her situation, her shoulders drooped and she opened the door and picked up her purse. He nodded toward the door, and she preceded him. He chuckled behind her. "Come on," he said in a low voice. "Things will look a lot clearer after I treat the two of you to brunch."

When they were finally back on the highway, Brenda noticed her suitcases in the back of the Jag. "You had this planned all along, didn’t you?"

Jax was feeling a little more human, now that his stomach wasn’t running on empty anymore. "Not really. I really didn’t have anything specific planned, except getting back to Port Charles before Friday in one piece. And believe me, there were times during that storm that I had my doubts."

Brenda looked at him. He was unbelievably stubborn in his desire to marry her. How could she keep refusing? Yet, how could she stand the pain if she did marry him? She couldn’t believe the mess this all was turning into.

He continued. "I just figured I would come back and after we talked it over, you would give me some kind of good excuse why you decided to shut me out of my child’s life, and then you would agree to marry me." He looked at her with pain in his eyes. "Brenda, I still can’t understand why you would prefer Corinthos to me – especially after all you’ve told me about him. Do you hate me that much?"

Brenda tried to keep herself focused on his high-handedness, but her own actions kept creeping in to cause her feelings of guilt. Her stomach was in such contortions, she barely noticed the beautiful landscape along the coast.

As the sun was beginning to set and they drew near to the barrier islands, Brenda began to lean back and let the ocean air invigorate her. They crossed the causeway to get to Holden Beach, and soon pulled up at Jax’s cabin.

He opened the door, bringing in her suitcases. The cabin was light and airy, much like the Malibu house but on a smaller scale. There was a living room, a large kitchen, a room with a lot of windows that only had a large drafting table in it, one bedroom and a bath.

Jax closed the door and stood before her. "I don’t know about you, but I’m still wiped out. I don’t think we can intelligently discuss anything more tonight. Why don’t we get cleaned up, get a good night’s sleep, and then we can talk about it again in the morning.

Brenda suddenly caught her breath. One bedroom. Part of her didn’t look forward to sleeping in the same bed with Jax again, but part of her longed for him to just wrap his arms around her and make all their problems go away. She didn’t look forward to the discussion tomorrow morning, either.

Brenda heard the shower running, and the bed did look inviting. She did still feel grubby and tired. She slowly sat down on it, and then went to open her suitcase and find something suitable to sleep in. Besides Jax’s arms.

To be continued…

Chapter 21

Brenda let the hot water beat down on her back. She had slept like a rock again the night before, finding comfort and peace in Jax sharing the bed with her. But it annoyed her that she needed him so. And she dreaded facing him again this morning, discussing their future together. Or not.

As she dried herself after her shower, she turned critically and looked at herself in the mirror. Her body only barely showed signs of Jax’s child growing within her. Her breasts were fuller, and there was just a slight pout to her tummy. Maybe he wouldn’t find her repulsive yet. Her ankles hadn’t swollen, like Monica said they would. Of course, after the way she had treated him, trying to keep their child a secret, she expected his anger. She still wasn’t sure, though. One moment she would justify her actions all over again, and be furious at him for upsetting her plans to marry Sonny. The next, she felt like she should be flogged for her duplicity in trying to keep the baby’s existence a secret from him.

{How’s daddy ever going to get through the next 7 months with me in this shape? I can barely decide what to wear, my hormones are so off kilter. My value in making smart business decisions will be next to nothing.}

After putting on some jeans and a T-shirt that clung to her curves becomingly, Brenda braved her way out of the bedroom. Jax was seated at the wooden table in the kitchen, staring out the window at the pounding surf. The sun had come out as all signs of the tropical storm had vanished.

Brenda caught her breath at the sight of him. He had on some cut-off shorts and a light blue knit shirt, emphasizing the blue of his eyes. A good night’s rest had erased the lines from his face, and he looked calmer and peaceful … and terribly sexy. Brenda had forgotten how much sensuality oozed from every pore of the man’s body, even on a bad day.

"Hi, Jax," she said timidly, hoping she didn’t show how much she wanted him at that moment.

"Brenda!" Jax rose from the table. "Can I get you some coffee?"

She sat down across from him, taking a glass of juice. "No thanks. I’m trying to cut back on the caffeine. You know…" She let it trail, glancing down at her still-flat stomach.

Jax nodded, and went to pour himself another cup of coffee. He sneaked a glance at Brenda as he did, sipping her juice and nibbling on a piece of toast. When exactly did he realize that he loved her? When he saw the blinking message on the computer screen and thought something might have happened to her? When Lois told him she was pregnant and planning to marry Corinthos? Maybe he had realized it on his own while staying at Holden Beach, but couldn’t come out and admit it. All he knew was that during the drive to Port Charles, all he could think of was how much he loved and wanted her, combined with strong pangs of jealousy and anger. Anger at her not wanting him to know about the baby, and jealousy, thinking of her in Corinthos’ bed.

But now, looking at her in the light of day, and with a full nights’ sleep under his belt, he tried to put it all into perspective. He had obviously hurt her so badly with his obsession with Julia and breaking off the relationship that she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. She was too proud to come to him, even when she needed him. She was too angry and hurt to take him back after his rejection. And now, it was too late for him to admit his feelings to her. Well, even if he could never tell her how he felt, at least he could do the right thing and save her from the hell of being married to Corinthos.

He sat down at the table with her, and could barely control his longing. Her figure was sharply outlined in the T-shirt, and he vividly remembered every curve. It had been over a month since Jerry and Bobbie’s wedding and he had been without her 2 months before that. He literally ached for her.

Brenda broke the ice. "Where do we start?"

Jax took a deep breath. "Brenda, I want to marry you. I understand that you probably have good reasons why you don’t want to agree. But surely you didn’t actually WANT to marry Corinthos, did you?"

"Of course not," she sighed. She was glad he wasn’t yelling at her again this morning. "But he offered me a marriage without …attachments."

Jax looked at her quizzically.

She glanced down at the table. "I told him I didn’t want to sleep with him, and he agreed. It was going to be a marriage in name only. That was the only way I would agree to it."

It took all of Jax’s intestinal fortitude to say it. "I can offer you that, too." Jax looked down. He couldn’t let Brenda see the pain in his eyes as he said it.

Brenda never thought Jax hated her that much. Obviously, he had already thought of how her body would look, swollen and blimpy. Tears started to form, but she held them back. How could she live in the same house with him, share his name, bear his child, and never have him touch her soul again like he did when they made love? She never realized that she had hurt him that badly, almost denying him the knowledge that he had a child. It was the least she could do, allowing him to know the child and be a part of its life. His proposition was practical, since she would never have to worry about the child’s financial stability. Maybe it would even be fortunate enough to enjoy the love and stability that Jax’s extended family offered.

She could barely look at him as she replied. "All right. I’ll marry you on those conditions. I’d hardly be looking out for the child’s best interests if I didn’t."

Jax let out the breath he had been holding. He was relieved, but it still hurt. She didn’t really want him. He had waited too long until he came to realize the depth of his feelings, hurt her too badly, and he had only himself to blame. "Good. I’ll make some inquiries in Myrtle Beach about a license. And I’ll call Jane and have her put an announcement in the Port Charles papers. Although I would love to spend more time here, I’ve been away from the office for so long I imagine Dad and Jerry are ready to strangle me."

"That’s fine," Brenda replied flatly. "Sonny had business to attend to in New York for several weeks, so daddy was expecting me to be in the office now, too."

Brenda helped him clean up the dishes from breakfast, and then she opted to take a walk along the beach. When she returned, Jax was busily typing away on the laptop, returning e-mails from the office, with cell phone plugged into the computer at the kitchen table as he worked.

She wandered into the empty room that she noticed last night, and found numerous pencil sketches on the table. As she turned them to take a closer look, she saw the figure of a woman. It was always the same woman, either walking on a beach, or behind a window pane, or sitting on some driftwood. Apparently sometime since Malibu, V had taken the time to show Jax how to draw the human figure.

Brenda picked up one sketch to look at it more closely. It was a woman’s face, tears rolling down her cheeks, behind a window. As she stared at it, she suddenly gasped and dropped it on the table. The woman, drawn with amazing clarity, was her. They brown eyes were sad and brimming with tears. She was wearing the dress Brenda wore to Jerry and Bobbie’s wedding.

She began to look at the rest of the pictures. They were all drawings of her. Just as she began wondering about the significance, Jax came up behind her.

She tried to keep it light. "V finally showed you how to draw people, huh?"

Jax shook his head. "Nope. I just started trying to draw them, and the only ones that turned out to look like anything even close to a human were the ones of you."

He turned to go back to his laptop. Brenda held the drawing to her breast, not knowing what to make of it. Before she neglected to tell him about their child, he thought of her so much he drew her face constantly. Now, he didn’t want to sleep with her.

They were married two days later in Myrtle Beach. Jax had been busy on the laptop and cell phone, faxing and pulling strings to get the license paperwork processed. A messenger had come the day before with a package that he mysteriously hid from her. He asked her about a dress, but Brenda replied that the lace dress in the suitcases would be fine for the simple ceremony.

They were married in The Wedding Chapel in North Myrtle Beach. When Jax suggested it, Brenda was almost afraid that singing Elvis impersonators would jump out of the pews, but it was tasteful and quiet. Brenda wore the lace dress that she had originally bought for her wedding to Sonny, and was secretly glad that there was a change in plans. Jax looked stunningly handsome in a navy blue suit, white shirt, and blue striped tie.

The ceremony was short. After they exchanged vows, Jax slipped a ring on Brenda’s finger that made her gasp. It was platinum, with a 3 carat European-cut diamond in the center. It was flanked by trilliant-cut emeralds, and looked antique. As he gave her the ring, he whispered in her ear, "Grandma sends her love." Brenda looked up at him in astonishment, realizing that this must have come in the mysterious package. Brenda placed a diamond-cut white gold wedding band on his finger, her hands trembling. She had asked Jax to take her into Myrtle Beach the day before, and finally found one at a place called Broadway on the Beach.

After the ceremony was finished, Brenda was nervously awaiting the obligatory kiss. But Jax merely brushed his lips across hers quickly, leaving her confused. Even this slightest touch from him sent desire shooting through her and made her knees weak. She was angry at herself, though, because he appeared to be totally unphased by the kiss. She had secretly been hoping the last few days that he would accidentally touch her, either at the table or while sleeping, and the fires she knew they always lit together would re-ignite. But that hadn’t happened.

After they came out of the chapel, they decided to join the tourists and explore Myrtle Beach. They went shopping in the souvenir stands and shops. Brenda went on a shopping spree for Myrtle Beach Polo Club clothes, and put on a fashion show for Jax. He sat in a chair as she modeled T-shirts, shorts, and hats for him. As he made good-natured suggestions and leered at her suggestively, she almost felt that they had gotten back some of the magic they had earlier in the summer on the trips to Malibu and Boston.

Brenda took him back to Broadway on the Beach because she had seen an oil painting the day before. She had had the shop hold it pending his approval, and when they arrived, she gave it to him as a wedding present. He was speechless at the beautiful oil, a landscape of the beach with gulls and cloud formations. She saw a tear starting to form in the corner of his eye, but he quickly masked it.

"It’s beautiful, Brenda. I know just the place to hang it in the office. That way, I can look at it and remember this day."

His comment puzzled her, almost as though he was happy about the wedding and being tied to her.

Not to be outdone, Jax pulled her with him into a jewelry store. It turned out that while she was shopping for his wedding ring, he had done some shopping of his own. The clerk brought out a bracelet that he had been having them hold for her. It was a delicate creation of pink quartz and diamonds. As he slipped it on her wrist, he looked up and whispered, "For my beautiful, delicate wife." Now tears threatened to spill for her, made worse by her raging pregnant hormones. She pulled him close to place a kiss on his cheek, and didn’t see him close his eyes and inhale sharply. How would he ever be able to last through this d*mned agreement not to make love?

They enjoyed the rest of their afternoon, and then began the drive back to Holden Beach. There was a little town about 10 miles from Holden Beach called Shalotte, and as they came to it, Jax noticed Brenda shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Problem?" Suddenly, he got worried. "Are you OK?"

She looked sheepish. "Fine." As she glanced over at him, she realized how worried he actually was. "No, fine, really. I just sometimes get really empty. Before, I never noticed mealtimes, but it seems our child doesn’t intend to be that patient."

Jax smiled. "Well, you both are in luck, because I know a great place here in town to have our wedding dinner."

He took a sharp turn, and soon pulled up in front of a small Italian restaurant called Carmella’s. "This place has always been special to the Jacks family."

Brenda loved the restaurant as soon as she entered. It was a small, homey Italian restaurant. The tables all had white linen tablecloths, with red napkins. It was virtually empty that night, and Brenda guessed it had a lot to do with the recent storm.

A woman came to greet Jax with a hug as soon as he entered. "Jax! So good to see you again! But didn’t the storm scare you off?"

Jax hugged her back. "No, Liz, but it sure looks like it scared everyone else. I take it that’s why you don’t have your usual supper crowd tonight." She nodded. "Weren’t you afraid of damage?"

"Honey, you should know by now it would take more than a little window-rattler to send us packing. We just boarded up the windows to be on the safe side and watched everyone else shake in their boots." She had been looking curiously at Brenda, and Jax finally decided to satisfy her itch.

"Liz, I would like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Brenda Barrett Jacks. Brenda, this is Mrs. Liz Forella. She and her husband Lou own the place."

Half of the introduction was smothered by Liz’s hug for Brenda. "Jax! You didn’t tell us you were married!" She looked back at the bar. "Lou, come here and see what the storm dropped on our door!"

Lou Forella came out from the bar area. "Jax, good to see you again. Back for more of the Veal Marsala?"

Liz clucked at him. "Typical man. Only thinks of his stomach. Lou, this is Jax’s wife, Brenda."

Lou took her hand reverently and kissed the top of it. "Mrs. Jacks, it is my pleasure. Jax is a very lucky man." As he let her hand drop, he glanced at his wife and his eyes twinkled. "Almost as lucky as I am!"

Liz laughed as Lou put his arm around her. "But Jax, I didn’t know you were married! Brenda decided not to come down here with you until after the storm passed?"

Brenda took a quick breath as she wondered how Jax would answer. He put his arm around her waist, and she felt the burning presence of his hand. "Actually, Brenda’s trip down here was a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing. We were married in The Wedding Chapel in Myrtle Beach this morning!"

This drew another round of hugs and kisses from the Forella’s. "Well, then, this calls for a celebration!" Liz showed them to a table in the front of the restaurant. It was between two bay windows beneath a large hanging plant. Adding to the romantic atmosphere, there was a statue of Venus de Milo on a pedestal near the table. "Only our best table for the newlyweds!"

Brenda still couldn’t believe the word "newlyweds" and hearing herself addressed as "Mrs. Jacks." Jax pulled her chair out for her, and again his hand burned her back as he pushed it into the table. After Liz left menus for them, she glanced up at Jax.

"Jax, we really didn’t need to do this…" she began.

He stopped her. "Brenda, the Forella’s are good people. They have been friends to our family ever since Mum and Dad first bought the cabin down here. I couldn’t think of anyone I would rather celebrate our wedding with than them."

She still looked flustered. "But Jax, I mean the whole thing! We don’t have to make this such a big deal!" She looked at her hand, the wedding ring sparkling in the romantic lighting. "Even the ring. This is beautiful, Jax. It looks antique. I’m almost afraid to ask where it came from."

He took her hand. "This was my grandmother’s wedding ring. Grandpa Jasper gave it to Josie years ago, and she wanted you to have it." At her startled gasp, he could see the protests coming. "And it wasn’t my idea, either. Remember I told you I sent messages about the cancelled wedding to Lois and Harlan? Well, I sent one to Grandma, too, and she sent me the ring by messenger. She said she’ll speak to you about it when we get back."

Brenda knew Josie’s determination, and gave up the fight for the moment. "Well, as much as I disagree with your tactics of abducting me, I’m secretly relieved that you sent a message to daddy. I didn’t look forward to the prospect of telling him."

"Good. Now, let’s get down to serious business." Jax opened the menu and then looked up at Brenda. "They serve a fantastic appetizer here made from hot peppers and tomatoes. How does that sound?" Brenda’s face turned a little ashen in response. "Hmm. I thought so. That’s why I asked. Will the smell cause a problem for you if I have some?"

"I don’t think so," she replied. "You have to remember, I’m still new at this kind of thing myself."

He nodded as Liz came over to take their order. After selecting an appetizer for himself and just a salad and bread for Brenda, he sat back in the chair and gazed at her intently.

"So…" he looked a little unsure of how to bring up the subject. "Did you see a doctor about … our little one?"

Brenda took a sip of water. "Yes, I saw Dr. Meadows at GH to make sure I was pregnant. I didn’t want to do one of those home tests and take a chance of getting it wrong."

He tried to contain his excitement, but Brenda saw through him. "Did you get one of those X-ray pictures of the baby?"

She laughed at his enthusiasm. "An ultra-sound? No, Jax, it’s still too early for that. In fact, I have to go back to see her soon so she can set me up with vitamins and the whole regimen. I just basically went to see her so I could confirm the fact that I was pregnant."

He stared down at his hands, and then looked up at her shyly. "Can I come along when you see her again?"

She was amazed at his attitude. "Now, Jax, don’t tell me you’re going to be one of those smothering fathers-to-be!" At his look of panic, she relaxed and smiled. "Of course, you can come along if you want. But I warn you, you’ll be surrounded by hormonal, pregnant women. They might all either try to stone you or accost you!"

"Hmm… a roomful of hormonal women. Doesn’t sound too bad to me!" His face took on a serious look. "Seriously, Brenda, I want to be a part of this baby’s life, right from the start. I want to be there to hear what you need and help you have it."

Liz brought their appetizers at that point, interrupting his train of thought. As they ate, he continued. "And I think we should pack up and move back to Port Charles first thing tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Some business crisis calling you?"

"No, but you know how out-of-touch the cabin is here. What if you had some kind of problem? You know, they say that most miscarriages occur during the first trimester of the pregnancy."

She almost choked on her salad. "Well, thank you, Dr. Jasper Jacks! How did you know that?"

He blushed. "Well, after things settled down a little yesterday, I surfed the Net and found some very interesting facts about pregnancy. I’ve just been doing a little reading and research, that’s all." He took a bite, then continued. "Oh, and I don’t think we should consider living at your cottage, not with you in this condition. If there was a problem, it’s so far from the hospital and my office that I would worry constantly."

"Jax, I feel fine. Nothing’s going to happen." At her protest, he waved a forkful of peppers and tomatoes under her nose, and watched her recoil. "OK, I admit I’ve been kind of queasy these days, but that’s normal!" She secretly watched him while they continued eating, and happily filed his concern for her and the baby in her heart.

Liz brought them delicious scoops of sherbet to "cleanse the palate" before she brought out their entrees, and Brenda devoured hers. Jax watched her with amusement, and she finally caught his stare. "What?" She realized his joke. "Well, it’s a dairy product, so humor me!"

"Would you like me to ask Liz to just bring you the half gallon of that instead of your seafood?"

They continued the rest of their dinner in comfortable conversation about possible places to live back in Port Charles. Jax settled on the veal marsala, which he informed Brenda was his favorite, while Brenda enjoyed seafood alfredo in Northern Pink Sauce. She thought she had eaten so much she couldn’t move when Jax suddenly covered her hand with his.

"Mrs. Jacks, would you do me the honor of this dance?"

Brenda had noticed soft music playing during their dinner, but there was really no formal dance floor. "Jax, this is a lovely restaurant, but there’s no dancing in here! There’s no dance floor."

He pulled her to her feet. "Mrs. Jacks, anywhere that you and I are and there’s music, there’s a dance floor." He pulled her into his arms, and she died a little.

Lady, I'm your knight in shining armor and I love you.

You have made me what I am and I am yours.

My love, there's so many ways I want to say I love you.

Let me hold you in my arms forever more.

You have gone and made me such a fool,

I'm so lost in your love.

And oh, we belong together.

Won't you believe in my song?

Jax looked deeply into Brenda’s eyes, and for just a moment, all the harsh words and doubts of the past few days melted into nothingness. He took her hand and placed it on the back of his neck, so that her arms were both twined around him and he could place both of his hands on the small of her back, holding her closer.

Lady, for so many years I thought I'd never find you.

You have come into my life and made me whole.

Forever let me wake to see you each and every morning.

Let me hear you whisper softly in my ear.

In my eyes I see no one else but you.

There's no other love like our love.

And yes, oh yes, I'll always want you near me.

I've waited for you so long.

Lady, your love's the only love I need

and beside me is where I want you to be.

'Cause, my love, there's something I want you to know,

you're the love of my life, you're my lady.

As the song ended, the two of them stood quietly facing each other. Brenda didn’t know exactly how to react to his overture, but was saved by Lou and Liz, who applauded their impromptu romantic gesture.

She came rushing over, and Brenda thankfully backed away from Jax’s embrace. "You two are so cute together! I just know you were meant to be!"

Lou came bustling out again to put his arm around his wife. "Liz, don’t you think we ought to let these two lovebirds go? After all, it is their wedding night!"

Brenda hid her face. If they only knew. The wedding night was long gone, and they had gone on the harsh realities of married life and children.

Jax, for his part, was acting the bridegroom to the hilt. He ogled Brenda, and then teased Liz. "Well, if you will just give me the check, I think we might want to go back to the cabin to … rest for a while!"

Liz shook her head vehemently. "Not on your life, buster. It’s your wedding supper, and it’s on the house."

After a few more protests and then tearful good-byes, Jax and Brenda were back on the road to the cabin, Lou and Liz waving from the doorway of the restaurant. Brenda rode in silence in the Jag, occasionally daring a look at Jax’s profile. She was so confused. His actions today seemed to show that he really wanted this marriage, and more than that, that he really wanted her.

Jax, driving in silence, was equally confused. Brenda had seemed so soft and willing in his arms just minutes ago. Maybe she really didn’t hate him that much.

The two newlyweds continued in silence, neither one sure what the wedding night would bring.

To be continued….