by Jan
Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for your continued feedback and support for the story. I’m sorry I’ve been torturing you with so many cliffhangers, but now life has thrown a little monkey-wrench into my plans. My husband is scheduled to have eye surgery to remove a cataract Wednesday. Although it is unusual at his age (late ‘40’s), the doctor assures us it is not serious and it does occasionally happen. I have to drive him and then take him Thursday for a follow-up exam, which throws a hitch into the plan I had for posting chapters. Lea and Liz have been true angels and have agreed to post Chapter 23 for me on Thursday on the IRME and AOL boards respectively. Please give them your thanks as well, and keep us all in your prayers tomorrow. -----------Jan
TORN
Chapter 22
When they got back to the cabin, the heavy meal and the emotionally packed events of the day had both Jax and Brenda yawning. Brenda wasn’t quite sure where things stood. Jax had been his old attentive, flirty self as he watched her try things on in Myrtle Beach. He had been a charming dinner companion. And the dance – her body ached from being so near to him.
He chuckled as he sat down on the edge of the bed, removing his shoes. “What do you think they would say back in Port Charles, to see this captain of industry ready for bed at 10:30?”
Brenda smiled and turned to answer him, but her words caught in her throat. He had taken off his tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt, exposing the rippling chest muscles she loved to touch. As he shrugged off the shirt, she wished she could take art lessons from V, just to capture the beauty of his human form.
She mumbled something in reply to his question, quickly grabbed a nightgown from one of the bags of things from Myrtle Beach, and beat a hasty retreat to the bathroom. Once inside, she unclenched her fists to reveal a filmy nightgown she had bought. While Jax was busy looking at swim goggles, she had sneaked into the lingerie department, anxious to find something special to wear.
After taking a quick shower, she slipped it over her head, brushed her hair until it shown, and then inspected herself in the mirror. It was a floaty concoction of peach silk, sheer and full, and had a satin peach ribbon that tied under her breasts. Pregnancy had already made her breasts fuller, and now the centers clearly showed through the sheerness of the gown. She inspected her stomach critically, but it still looked flat to her. She frowned a bit as she thought of the possibility that Jax might find her too seductive. But she had to try. There was always the possibility that he would turn down her obvious opening, but she was quickly finding out that the celibate life was not for her.
She came out of the bathroom, and found Jax already in bed in his blue silk pajama bottoms, hands folded behind his head, and only a small bedroom lamp lit on the dresser. When he saw her in the negligee, he thought he’d better reform his life quickly, because he knew he didn’t want to spend the hereafter in hell. He knew, because seeing Brenda in the sheer gown made him feel like he was already there, and it was no picnic. She went to turn off the lamp, and her nude body was clearly outlined by its reflection. His hands itched to rip the gown from her body and explore her fuller breasts and still-flat stomach.
She slid into bed beside him, and he could smell her and almost taste her. He watched her quietly in the darkness for a moment. He knew that if he reached for her, she would come to him in an instant, just as she had after Jerry and Bobbie’s wedding. Sweet, giving Brenda. He remembered her words to him the next morning. She had no will power when he touched her.
But now, he had realized that he loved her, and he didn’t want to hurt her for the world. He didn’t want to make her feel like a puppet on a string. He couldn’t stand to see the hurt in her eyes if he broke the promise that was the basis for her agreeing to marry him.
As he lay there in misery, he heard her even breathing and realized the exhaustion of early pregnancy had claimed her again. Even though they had the air conditioner going full blast, beads of sweat broke out on his forehead. He rolled over to face the edge of the bed, and a few minutes later, she rolled over in sleep to spoon him. He now realized, laying there, that the longing he thought he felt for Julia was laughable compared to the way he felt about Brenda.
But he saw her softening tonight, while they were dancing. Unconsciously, he had reverted to his charming, seductive ways. He had been strong enough to break through her wall of ice once. He could seduce her again, and make her love him. But the longer he thought, the more he remembered her pained expression when he left her. He had brought her nothing but pain, and he couldn’t take the chance of hurting her again in some way. If she could live without wanting him, he would find a way to live without wanting her. Even though he now realized that he loved her more than life itself.
The next morning, they packed up Brenda’s two suitcases and Jax’s
clothes and loaded all they could into the Jag. Brenda was still amazed that
Jax had managed to make it back to Port Charles in time to hold off the wedding
to Sonny.
They listened to the radio and Brenda called the office on the cell phone as he drove. She looked over at Jax.
“You said you sent Harlan a copy of the note informing him of our wedding, right?”
Jax nodded. “Yep. The night we left your cottage. You can blame it all on me if you want, since I know he’s never liked me.”
Brenda sighed. “Well, although I’m still not that easy with your master-planning, I’m certainly glad you took care of telling him. That’s one task I would have dreaded.”
Jax chuckled to himself. {Brenda, you have NO idea how much Harlan is going to dislike me before this all is over with.}
They stopped for a quick lunch, and then were on the road again. A thought occurred to him. “I spoke to Mum the other day. She wants to throw us a celebratory dinner after we get back, kind of a “welcome-to-the-family” kind of thing.” He looked over at her cautiously. “You OK with that?”
“It’s fine with me.” Then she paused. “It’s telling them that I’m pregnant that’s going to be a little …. Tricky.”
Jax looked over at her sharply, and she didn’t know what to make of his suddenly serious mood. He slowed the car, and pulled on the shoulder of the road. After bringing it to a complete stop, he reached over and took her hand, looking her deeply in the eyes.
“Brenda, I never want you to feel embarrassed or awkward about this baby. A new life is a thing to be celebrated, not analyzed. My parents will be thrilled to be grandparents, no matter what date the baby is born or the circumstances surrounding its conception.” He stopped for a moment, and then chuckled. “Besides, I believe I was more than a passive participant in its conception, so I’ve got a big part to play in this baby’s existence too, you know.” He stroked her hand, smiling down at it. “In fact, I’ll be lucky if my dad doesn’t send me to the woodshed again for this, since he and mum both know that it takes two to make a baby!”
Brenda just shook her head in amazement at this wonderful man. If they could only clear up their differences in the bedroom, life would be so perfect.
“You know,” he continued as he pulled back onto I-95, “we never did get around to settling the matter of where we’re living last night.” It pained him to say what came next. “I take it from the suitcases you were going to move into Sonny’s condo.”
“We never really discussed it,” Brenda sighed. “Sonny was busy with a lot going on and some trips. I don’t think he cared where we lived, as long as he got control of Barrett Industries.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’ve already told you I don’t think it’s safe for you if we live in your cottage, so far from civilization.” Brenda was about to object that it wasn’t THAT far, but he held up his hand. “I don’t mean we have to get rid of the cottage. But I don’t think we can exactly live in the hotel penthouse, either, especially after the little one arrives.”
He spoke slowly now, afraid of another explosion. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve contacted a realtor friend of mine, Larry Hummel. I’ve given him a few ideas and asked him to search the market for houses for us.” She took a deep breath, so he rushed on. “But that doesn’t mean we have to sell the cottage!” She relaxed. “Brenda, you know I can afford for us to buy a house AND keep the cottage. We would always use it as a special place in the country – kind of a getaway place.”
That did sound nice to her. A place where the “little one” could run and romp, and they could get away from the noise of the city on weekends. She was secretly pleased that he worried if he went behind her back, so she let him suffer a little longer. Then she smiled sweetly at him.
“I think that sounds wonderful. A house of our own.”
He covered her hand with his. They drove in relative peace for the rest of the trip, discussing features that they both wanted in a house.
Once they arrived back in Port Charles, Jax drove to the penthouse and had
Brenda’s bags carried up. They arrived at the door, but he stopped her
from entering.
“Mrs. Jacks?” His eyes were twinkling in that dangerous way.
Suddenly, he swept her off her feet and carried her over the threshold. She punched at his chest. “Jax, you didn’t have to do this!”
He put her down, throwing his keys on the table. “Of course I did. You’re my new bride.” He stopped. “Although, I guess I’ll have to repeat the performance once we find a house. That will be our REAL threshold.”
Brenda looked down at her stomach. “Well, if this guy takes too long to find us a house, you may need a forklift to do it!”
Jax stared silently at her stomach, and then came to rest his hand there. He looked into her eyes. “I still can’t believe it. Our child.”
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. {Let me feel the other changes the baby’s made in you. Let me love you.}
{Can’t you feel my knees shaking? Don’t you know what your touch does to me? See me now, before I start to look like an elephant.}
Jax leaned down towards her lips, but then suddenly drew back. “Look, we’re both really tired from all that traveling. Why don’t we get some rest and I’ll call Larry first thing in the morning. Maybe he’s got some places we can see tomorrow.”
Brenda felt the mood break. “Sure.” She followed him up the stairs towards the bedrooms.
He stopped in front of his room. “Why don’t you take this room? I’ll make up the bed and sleep in the guest room.” As he turned to walk down the hall, tears rolled down Brenda’s face, but she quickly went into his room before he could see them. As she closed his door, he turned back to look at her. Had she waited, she would have seen the same tears in his eyes.
The next day, Larry Hummel called bright and early to say he had a few properties
he thought might interest the Jacks. Brenda’s nausea had abated, and
she hadn’t informed Keith when she was returning, so they decided to
take the day off and go house-hunting.
Larry didn’t realize what he was getting himself into, trying to find a house to please this couple. After looking at half a dozen, he thought he might never find one to suit them. There were a lot that were close to being perfect, but either Brenda didn’t like the layout or Jax didn’t like the construction.
They broke for lunch, but Larry came back to them after he checked with his office, and he had a triumphant look on his face.
Jax was finishing his sandwich, while Brenda polished off her second milkshake. “You look pleased, Larry.”
He sat down. “I am. I think I may finally have found it. There’s an older home on the River Road, basically sound but the owner has let it run down. She’s ready to sell – I think she’s moving in with her daughter – and it wouldn’t take a lot of work to bring it up to snuff. Want to see it?”
Jax thought it sounded promising, and Brenda agreed if she could take the rest of her milkshake with her. “It’s a dairy product, you know!” she said laughing, as Jax teased her unmercifully about her cravings.
Brenda fell in love with the house at first sight. It was an old Tudor-style mansion, complete with turrets and stained glass windows. There was a formal living room and dining room, and the kitchen was huge. Of course, it didn’t have many of the modern appliances, but Larry assured them he could refer them to a contractor who would handle the updates quickly. The master suite and other bedrooms were upstairs, and Brenda sadly noted that there were enough bedrooms for the Jacks-to-be and Jax to each have one of their own. The brick of the front porch extended over the driveway in an arch, and the driveway led to an enormous three-car garage and turnaround space.
But the feature Brenda liked best was a room on the second floor that had one wall almost completely made of windows. Jax hadn’t paid much attention to it, noticing things like the condition of the plumbing and roof, but Brenda immediately made plans for this room. It must have been some kind of sunroom in the past, with its linoleum floor and bright lighting. She imagined it with a set of desks, one for her and one for Jax, and a drafting table in the area closest to the windows where Jax could pursue his drawing.
Coming down the main staircase, she met Jax and Larry in the hallway. From her broad smile, Jax didn’t have to ask her opinion.
“Larry, I think we’ve found ourselves a house,” he said, patting the realtor on the back. “Now, let’s sit down with the paperwork and a calculator, to see what your damage is for finding us this gem.”
As the two men went off to the car to get the necessary papers, Brenda began to feel a sense of being home, a sense of belonging. Something she never had felt before in her life. It felt good.
The papers were signed and the house officially belonged to Mr. & Mrs.
Jasper Jacks by week’s end. Larry’s contractor and Jax met frequently
to discuss the renovations, and he thought it wouldn’t take more than
a few weeks to finish them.
In the interim, Brenda had moved into the penthouse at Jax’s insistence. Not only was it closer to the offices and not so “out-of-touch,” it had the extra bedroom space that Jax knew he needed. After the hell he endured the last night in Holden Beach sleeping in the same bed with Brenda, he knew he couldn’t keep his promise to keep the marriage platonic if they had to share a bed with her in Port Charles. Every day, he noticed subtle changes in her body as they shared space, and he longed to explore them more fully. He had to just take comfort in the fact that she agreed to marry him, and he would have a chance to know his son or daughter.
About a 6 weeks after they returned to Port Charles, Brenda arrived at the penthouse one evening to find Harlan Barrett camped on the doorstep. As the elevator doors opened and she saw his scowl, she took a deep breath. She hadn’t really spoken to him since the aborted wedding to Sonny. He had avoided her at the office, and had to leave for an extended trip to Singapore shortly thereafter.
“Mrs. Jacks?” he said cynically.
“Hello, daddy,” she replied flatly. “How was Singapore?”
“About the same as always,” he said as she opened the door. He stood in the doorway as she went in and dropped her briefcase on the couch. “May I come in?”
“Could I stop you?” He stepped inside, and closed the door. Brenda was about to ask him if he wanted a drink, but he cut her off.
“All right, young lady. I want an explanation. Just what did you think you were doing, marrying Jasper Jacks like that? I mean, talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel! He’s a ruthless corporate raider, calculating, greedy…..”
“Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black, daddy?” Brenda interrupted him. “I mean, you are hardly one to set yourself up as an example of qualities to look for in a husband. Jax has so many good qualities that you’ll never hope to have in a million years!”
“And I suppose devotion to the woman he loves is one of them, right?” Harlan spit back at her. “Oh, but let me correct myself. It was Julia he always loved.” Brenda’s face fell at the remark, and Harlan zeroed in for the kill. “Brenda, I always thought you were smarter than that – that you had more pride than to settle for your sister’s leftovers.
Brenda tried to fight back the tears. “Well, I guess I don’t, do I?”
Harlan sat down on the couch. “I guess not. I’m just so disappointed in you, Brenda. I thought you had more maturity than this. First you tell me that you wouldn’t marry Sonny – ever. Then, you change your mind and tell me you want to marry him, and it has to be within the week. Then, the day of your wedding, I get a note by messenger and it says you’ve changed your mind again and you’re marrying Jax!” He shook his head condescendingly. “I must tell you, Brenda, there’s obviously more of Veronica in you than I thought!”
Brenda’s hormones raged as she stood by the bar. “Oh, yes, let’s drag my mother in this, too! Heaven knows none of this could be about you! YOU never wondered why I would have changed my mind about marrying Sonny. YOU were just happy because it fit in with your merger plans. YOU never wondered why I disappeared for a while after the wedding was cancelled. YOU were just worried it would jeopardize the merger.”
Brenda came over to stand right in front of him. “Well, daddy, this time it had everything to do with ME! I never wanted to marry Sonny, that’s true. But I re-considered and agreed to it because I was desperate. I did it because I’m pregnant, and I wanted my child to have more than just one parent, like I did!”
Harlan was stunned. “Pregnant!” He paused. “And Jax is the father?”
“Yes.”
Suddenly, he thought he saw the light. “And that’s why Jax disappeared from Port Charles? He refused to marry you when you told him? You agreed to marry Sonny because Jax wouldn’t have you?”
Brenda’s tears were close to bubbling out. “NO, daddy, I never told Jax. I didn’t want to tie him down in a loveless marriage. I saw enough of yours not to want to repeat the mistake. But Jax found out from Lois, and drove through a near-hurricane to come back and stop the wedding to Sonny.”
Harlan stared at her for a moment, and then buried his head in his hands. “Well, Brenda, why did you change your plan then and marry Jax? Or why didn’t you just get an abortion to begin with?”
She sat down hard on the other couch. “Daddy, how can you say such a thing? I would never…”
He sighed. “Oh, Brenda, spare me the moral lectures. You must realize you’ve mishandled this thing from the beginning. When you found out you were pregnant, you should have come to me in the first place.”
“Why, so you could arrange for me to have a quick and inexpensive abortion? I don’t think so! If you’re going to keep talking like that about your future grandchild…” The anxiety and stress of the past few months now came flooding over her, and she doubled over on the couch in tears. As sobs racked her body, Harlan shook his head in disgust.
“Yep. Just like Veronica. Never could have a serious discussion without turning on the waterworks.”
Just as Brenda was about to let her feminist side knock Harlan across the room, she heard a low voice from the door. “What the hell is going on here?” Jax was across the room in split seconds, throwing his briefcase on the desk. He stood next to Brenda. “Brenda, what’s the matter?”
She stood shakily, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes and control her breathing. “Jax, it’s nothing …”
He took one look at her, and then at Harlan. “Like hell it’s nothing! I see the problem.” His eyes were blazing. “What have you been saying to her to upset her?”
“Nothing,” Harlan said calmly, rising from the couch. “Besides, it’s none of your business. It’s between a father and a daughter.”
Jax stood up to the man, which was ridiculous since he was at least a foot taller than Harlan. “Correction. It’s between you and MY WIFE. But I don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what’s been going on here. You’re probably here harassing her because she married me instead of Corinthos. Well, it’s not her fault. I came back and forced her to marry me. I took her for a drive, and by the time she woke up, she was too far to make it to Port Charles in time for the wedding.”
“Are you telling me you kidnapped her?”
“In a manner of speaking,” Jax said proudly, a grin spreading over his face. Then he turned deadly serious again. “But the bottom line is that she is my WIFE now, and she is my responsibility. I don’t know if she’s told you or not, but she’s pregnant. She’s carrying MY child. And stress is very bad for pregnant women. So, in the interest of protecting MY wife and MY child, I’ll do whatever I have to in order to keep you away from them.”
Harlan almost was gasping in surprise. “Are you telling me you would keep a father away from his daughter?”
Jax looked him directly in the eye, and his voice was cold. “In a heartbeat.” He walked over to where he had thrown his briefcase, and got a file out, bringing it back to where Harlan stood by the couch. Jax handed it to him forcefully.
“I don’t care if I have to get an order of protection, or hire a full-time bodyguard, or guard Brenda myself and toss you out on your ear with my own hands, you will NOT upset her like this again!” He looked back at Brenda, who had sat down on the couch by now, amazed at his rant.
Jax turned his attention to Harlan again. “You’ll want to read through that file in the near future, too. I’ve had your future son-in-law investigated, and he’s connected to some very illegal operations.” Harlan looked up at Jax from the file. “We’re talking VERY illegal, as in Organized Crime.” Harlan’s eyes widened.
Jax walked over to stand by Brenda and put his hand on her shoulder. “I’ve put together a merger plan to bring Barrett Industries under the J&J Jacks umbrella. You’ll find all the details in that file. I think you’ll agree after you review it that it can be a very lucrative proposition for both Barrett Industries and J&J Jacks.” He looked down at Brenda. “Brenda needs to have her life as stress-free as possible for the next 6 months. Having Barrett Industries investigated under the RICO statutes does not constitute what I call “stress-free.”” Jax looked harshly at Harlan. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. If you don’t go ahead with the merger with J&J Jacks, you will find yourself the target of a very hostile takeover.”
Jax walked over and took Harlan by the arm. “Now, I think it’s time you left MY WIFE and MY CHILD alone. Consider the contents of the file and call me.” He showed him to the door, but Harlan turned at the last minute to gaze at Brenda.
He stared at the floor for a moment, and then smiled fondly at Brenda. “You know, you look a lot like your mother did when she was pregnant with you. Glowing. Complete.” He glanced at Jax. “I’m glad you’ve got him for a protector.” He extended his hand to Jax, and Jax shook it grudgingly. Harlan turned to leave, and looked back at Brenda one more time. “You know, it might not be a bad idea after all. A grandson to take over the reigns of the company someday!”
Jax closed the door behind him, and Brenda burst into giggles. “Do you think we should tell him that it’s entirely possible it’s a girl? Jax sat down next to her and pulled out his handkerchief.
“Are you sure you’re OK?”
Brenda blew her nose and nodded. “Usually a fight with daddy doesn’t upset me that much. I guess it’s just because I’m pregnant.”
Jax instinctively smoothed her hair with his hand, and it moved down to caress her cheek. Their eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity. His fingers just kept caressing her cheek, remembering the softness. He began to remember other parts of her body that were equally soft….
“Well,” he said abruptly, “you let me know if he bothers you at the office or anything. I was serious about that restraining order, you know.” Brenda nodded and watched him retreat back into his shell. He stretched and bounced on the balls of his feet. “I’m going to go to my study and wait for a fax from Hong Kong. You go on to bed. You must be exhausted after tonight’s discussions.” He kissed her lightly on the top of the head and bounded up the stairs.
Brenda watched him longingly. He had been her knight in shining armor tonight. She had come so close to breaking through the wall between them. But then he touched her, and obviously was repulsed by her new physique. Her stomach had begun to grow rounded, and she could barely button her jeans anymore. She let out a long sigh, and sat in the living room for a long time before she turned out the light and went to bed alone again.
To be continued….