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"No, you got the wrong number. This is 91... 2."
"...Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA..."
"The left tail light is a little smaller than the right one..."
"You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops..."
"We're putting that bitch on ice!"
"Thank you for coming! I'll see you in hell!"
"Silly customer! You cannot hurt a twinky!"
"Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays..."
"I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong!"
"...But if they miss one payment I'll raise hell!"
"I think the metric system is the tool of the Devil!..."
"Quick! We have to kill the boy!..."
"You would be getting an Albanian."
"You mean all white with pink eyes?"
"Mmmmm. Forbidden Donut."
"I am invincible! Invincible! You...Owww!!!"
"My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R..."
"Oh Lisa, you and your stories. 'Bart's a vampire.' 'Beer kills brain cells.' Now let's go back to that... building... thingy... where our beds and TV... is."
"Ahhh! Boogieman!"
"Now I'm going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has."
"NOOO!!!"
"They're dogs, and they're playing poker!"
"D'oh!"
"English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England."
A Flintstones parody.
"Operator, gimme the number for 911!"
"In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"
"D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Uh, I mean, woo hoo!"
"...If you lose, you're out of the family!..."
"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers..."
The Mr. Plow theme song.
"...I want to be a nacho man!"
"That's it, I'm outta here!
"...Did you raise the dead?..."
"...I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean..."
"Stupid TV! Be more funny!"
"Super Fun Happy Slide!"
Homer doing a good Nicholson impression.
"Hey, if you don't like it, go to Russia."
"This is a place of learning, not a house of hearing about things."
"...Weasling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel."
"...Hello, Dean? You're a stupid head..."
"I could pull a better cartoon outta my a...heh heh heh! Hey, whoa!..."
"You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't."
"D'oh!"
"A deer!"
"A female deer!"
"...Homer what is it? Slow down!..."
"...Fraid so infinity plus one!..."
"We're done for! We're done for! We're done diddly done for!..."
"Ha ha!"
"...We'll meet a man who's been hiccuping for forty-five years..."
"As punishment for your desertion, it's company policy to give you the plague."
"Schindler and I were like peas in a pod..."
"Smithers, I've designed a new plane. I call it the Spruce Moose..."
"Now, to the plant! We'll take the Spruce Moose! Hop in!..."
"...That's preposterous. Zutroy here is as American as apple pie..."
"She's always leaving the toilet seat up."
"If elected mayor..."
"I'll kill that Mr. Burns! And, uh, wound that Mr. Smithers..."
"...Didn't I warn ye? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!"
"I think women and seamen don't mix."
Background Complements of:
~MHedges
If you want, go back to my Home page....Dk's Homepage
This page last updated March 19, 1997