Suffice it to say, I hate Jake Martin -- AKA "Smeggie," "Smeghead," "Joke," "Jerk," "Flake," and "Tree-Boy."
In the Queen's opinion, this is the first time Liza was ever podded. Until she met the Smeghead in the woods, Liza was a strong woman, a take-no-prisoners, ratings-whore b**** that we loved to hate (or, in some cases, just plain hated.) But after Jerk, and during Jerk, Liza became this needy, approval-seeking idiot who only wanted to sail around the world with the cabin boy... You know, if they would have gotten together, and the boat would have sunk, they wouldn't have needed to worry about a life boat -- Jake's so wooden, they could have stayed adrift forever. But I digress.
I'm not sure why I dislike Jake. If it was because he was the one who helped pod Liza, or the way he met Liza (falling out of a tree, hence the "tree-boy" moniker), or the way he demanded Liza leave Adam, or the way he called Liza a whore the morning after she made love with Adam, or... Hell, the list goes on and on. But I believe the main reason I hate Smeggie is the following...
It's all his fault (and that perky doctor wannabe Allie Doyle) that Liza will be carrying DAVID HAYWARD'S child this summer and fall!
Yes, that is the reason I hate the Smeghead. And the nimrod volunteers to play daddy to Liza's demon spawn... Well, at least it isn't Tad this time... (Did that make me want to retch or what? It was like eating a bad pizza left over from a summer before. Gag.)
I'm sure I'll come up with more reasons to hate the Smeghead in the upcoming weeks, and when I do, I'll add them here.
Of course, you are probably wondering why we call Jake "Smeghead." He received this nickname from posters on the AMC boards at America Online. Jake reminded one of the character of "Rimmer" on the British sci-fi/comedy Red Dwarf. Rimmer is an incredibly uptight, arrogant jerk. Sound familar? Yet, in my opinion, although Arnold Rimmer is a complete and total smeghead, he's still at least likeable in a small way, so you have to feel sorry for him. Jake? No way in Hades!
Here is a link to my favorite Red Dwarf site... Queeg's Red Dwarf Archive
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