[ah447@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Victor W. Wong)]
And once again, now for something completely different ...
_PythonTrek 4 : The Voyage Where?_
FADE IN on U.S.S. Enterprise (circa TOS) approaching a large class-M planet.
TOS orbital music in background.
KIRK (OOV)
Captain's log, stardate--stardate--oh, damn, the timer's stuck.
(sounds of flesh smacking metal) Come on now, I know you're
working ...
Music runs down. CUT TO Kirk, in command chair, repeatedly smacking the
timing device with his hand.
KIRK
Damn you, you worthless piece of junk, I ought to have you
replaced, but no, Scotty says it's okay if you just give it a kick-
-come on (smack) start working (suddenly notices camera) Oh!
(hides timer behind him) Er--ah--sorry you had to see that. Um--
look, if you don't mind waiting for a bit, we can take it from the
top. All right? One moment.
CUT back to Enterprise orbital scene.
KIRK (OOV)
Captain's log, stardate--no, no, better yet, captain's log,
SUPPLEMENTAL. Yeah, that makes better sense. (clears throat)
Captain's log, supplemental. We are now approaching the planet
Excalbia, to investigate the last location of a distress call from
one of our shuttles.
CUT TO Enterprise bridge, SPOCK'S science station.
SPOCK
Captain, I am detecting an unusual form of energy on the planet
surface.
PAN TO Kirk in the center seat, with McCOY standing beside him.
KIRK
Spock, you said that the last time we were here.
SPOCK
Yes, Captain, but in the interval since our departure from this
planet the energy appears to have completely mutated.
KIRK
Mutated?
SPOCK
Yes, and now it's something completely different.
McCOY
(muttering) Now that's a pretty lame way to introduce this show.
SPOCK
I beg your pardon, Doctor?
McCOY
Never mind, Spock. So, you're telling us that it's--
CUT TO animation and music, Dennis McCarthy arrangement of The Liberty Bell
Overture over scenes of starships getting squashed by giant feet and 16-ton
weights. Somewhere in there is the title:
PYTHONTREK 4:
THE VOYAGE WHERE?
CUT BACK to Enterprise bridge.
KIRK
What the HELL was that?
McCOY
Ah ... something that shouldn't have happened until I was old and
gray. (looks around) Where's Spock?
KIRK
He's on his way to the transporter room.
McCOY
He's WHAT?!
Dramatic music sting.
KIRK
He said he detected the shuttle on the planet surface, so he's
investigating.
McCOY
When did he say that?
KIRK
When those strange-looking opening credits were rolling.
McCOY
Jim, you fool! Don't you realize you're putting Spock in mortal
jeopardy?
KIRK
Relax, Bones. I'm sure Spock knows what he's doing.
CUT TO the planet Excalbia, where SPOCK is looking around. A stone creature
native to the planet approaches him.
EXCALBIAN
You are Spock of Vulcan?
SPOCK
I am, sir.
EXCALBIAN
Spock of Vulcan, you are in mortal jeopardy.
Dramatic music sting; Spock reacts nervously--for a Vulcan, anyway.
You will be facing these representatives of what you call evil ...
Three people come out from hiding as the EXCALBIAN introduces them.
Khan Noonian Singh, noted despot of the Eugenics Wars ... Gorgan of
Triacus, the mind enslaver ... and Kodos the Executioner, the mass
murderer of Tarsus IV.
Music suddenly assumes a game-show motif.
And now, here is your host for Mortal Jeopardy ... ALEX TRELANE!
TRELANE, the Squire of Gothos, approaches a rock that looks like a podium.
TRELANE
Thank you, Johnny. (to camera) And welcome to the program. I see
that our guests have now set themselves in their places (CUT to
everyone behind a row of podiums) and are now ready to go, so
let's see the categories for this first round ...
CUT to a bank of video monitors, filling up with numbers from 100 to 500.
The categories are: CONTESTS, BOWLS, GOALS, FAMOUS LEADERS, U.S.
CITIES, and MONDAYS. This is a totally new round, so Khan, select
a category.
KHAN
I will go with FAMOUS LEADERS for 100, Alex.
CUT AND ZOOM on appropriate monitor.
TRELANE
(reading) Answer: You may think of him as general for the Fighting
Irish of Notre Dame.
CUT TO everyone looking blankly. After 30 seconds the buzzer goes off.
I'm sorry, panel, we were looking for Knute Rockne. Select again.
KHAN
U.S. CITIES for 100.
TRELANE
(reading) It's the city where the Vikings first won the Super
Bowl.
CUT TO everyone looking blankly. After 30 seconds the buzzer goes off.
Well, I'm not surprised that no one got that one. It is in fact a
trick answer: the Minnesota Vikings have NEVER won the Super Bowl.
Select again.
KHAN
MONDAYS for 100.
TRELANE
(reading) The day, when repeated becomes the title for a hit song
for this California pop band.
CUT TO everyone looking blankly. Suddenly SPOCK'S podium flashes red.
Mr. Spock?
SPOCK
The Mammas and the Poppas?
TRELANE
Please answer in the form of a question.
SPOCK
What are the Mammas and the Poppas?
TRELANE
That's correct, and it gives you the overall lead as we come to the
end of this round. (canned applause) We now move to the bonus
round. Mr. Spock, if you'll move to the center of the stage, and
meantime Johnny tell us what he can win.
CUT TO scenes of appropriate prizes.
EXCALBIAN (OOV)
Our bonus round contestant could win this Wavid-Warleyson
Lightglide motorized bicycle, the perfect ride to the Paramount
commissary for lunch, and a great way to annoy starship captains.
From Wavid-Warleyson Wide Rides of Walla Walla, Washington. And
all our contestants will receive the home version of our game, for
play on Super NES or on the bridge screen when the captain's not
looking. And once again, here's Alex.
CUT TO TRELANE and SPOCK standing together.
TRELANE
Thank you Johnny. Bonus round, three questions and the category is
LOGIC. Mr. Spock, are you ready? (SPOCK nods) Your first
question: What can be concluded from these two statements: All
fish live underwater, and all mackerel are fish?
SPOCK
That all mackerel live underwater.
TRELANE
Correct. (canned applause) Question 2: If set A includes all
children under 14 years of age, and set B includes all people
wearing blue jeans, how would you describe all children under 14
years of age and wearing blue jeans?
SPOCK
The intersection of sets A and B.
TRELANE
(talking to beyond camera) Can we get a ruling from--(nods, to
Spock) The judges have accepted that answer. (canned applause)
And now here's the final question, and it's for that beautiful
moped (pause) Who won the 1991 Super Bowl?
SPOCK
Er, um--logically speaking, the team with the best win-loss record
during the regular season--the team with the least pass
interceptions ...
TRELANE
No, I'm sorry, the judges wanted something more specific, it was in
fact the New York Giants who won, defeating the Buffalo Bills by a
very close margin, 20-19, in Tampa, Florida. (canned applause)
CUT to animation of female crewmember (in TOS red dress) watching monitor at
computer terminal.
TRELANE'S VOICE (distorted)
I'm sorry you didn't win the prize this time, but you can now play
our consolation round, in which you can win your choice of these
prizes: a poke in the eye, a punch in the throat, a kick in the
kneecap or a blow on the head.
SPOCK
I think I'll go for the--
The CREWWOMAN presses a switch; the voice is cut off.
CREWWOMAN
Hmmmmph.
She continues to work at the terminal, humming to herself.
WORF'S VOICE
And so, Ensign Bartlett continued her routine work, all the while
dreaming her dreamy dreams, unaware of the cruel trick Fate had in
store for her.
A tribble drops to the floor in the background. More tribbles continue to
drop like a rainfall as the narrative continues:
WORF'S VOICE
For Ensign Bartlett would become the first victim of the
Intergalactic Tribble Conspiracy.
CUT TO tribbles rolling and bouncing on their merry way. A gigantic tribble
rolls up and stops.
WORF'S VOICE
Yes, these prolific, ravenous creatures, under the leadership of
the arch-criminal Cyrano Jones (the giant tribble pulls of part of
itself to reveal Jones' face) had caught this poor girl off her
guard for one brief, but fatal moment ...
CUT TO the CREWWOMAN being swarmed under in a sea of purring tribbles.
WORF'S VOICE
... and she was ultimately doomed. (Purring gets louder) Just as
these tribbles will doom anyone who allows their hypnotic purring
to lull them into dangerous neglect of their duty.
Jerry Goldsmith's Klingon Trumpet Fanfare sounds out. A Klingon Bird-of-Prey
breaches the surface of the sea of tribbles and starts firing. The Tribbles
start screaming and flee the scene. The Bird of Prey is surrounded by a
heroic halo. An animated COLONEL WORF pops up on the screen.
WORF
Yes--once again the Klingon Defence Force demonstrates its
effectiveness against the Intergalactic Tribble Conspiracy. Using
this diagram of a starship, we can see how the Tribble Conspiracy
works by overwhelming everyone and everything on board. (Diagram
of starship rapidly filling up with tribbles and crashing to the
ground) And should even one of these tribbles survive the demise
of its victim, it can spread its devastation to other starships,
space stations and even planets. (Animation of starships, space
stations and planets filling up with tribbles and falling; back to
animated WORF) In starship engineering, this is known as the
Domino effect. But with Klingon Defense, this dangerous virus is
stopped before it even starts. That's why three out of every four
systems in the Alpha Quadrant choose ... (Animation zoom in on the
Klingon logo, with the words) KLINGON DEFENSE!
Cut to wall with Klingon logo and KLINGON DEFENSE written underneath. PAN
with FAULK, a Klingon warrior in full uniform as she passes the wall and
enters an office, where WORF is seated at a terminal.
WORF
Ah, come in, Warrior Faulk. What do you want?
FAULK
I want to leave the Klingon Defense Force, sir.
WORF
I see. And why do you want to do this, Warrior?
FAULK
It's dangerous, sir.
WORF
Dangerous? What do you mean?
FAULK
Well, for starters there's people out there with disruptor pistols,
sir.
WORF
I don't follow you.
FAULK
Real disruptors, sir. Not toy ones from Playmates. They've all
got'em, sir. And some of'em--they got phasers, sir. Real powerful
beams--cuts holes through ferroconcrete, they do.
WORF
Faulk--they are on OUR side, you know.
FAULK
Yes, sir, but they also got knives, sir. And batt'leh blades and
photon torpedoes an' all that. So I'd like to leave, sir, before
someone kills me, please.
WORF
Faulk, you've only been in for one day.
FAULK
Yes, sir. I know sir. But people get killed in this job. I mean
real dead, sir, not play-acting or anything. And Warrior Ken, sir,
he told me yesterday that if there was a war we have to go and
fight.
WORF
That's quite true. So?
FAULK
Well--sir, if it was a big enough war--I mean, someone could get
seriously hurt.
WORF
Faulk--why did you JOIN the Klingon Defense Force?
FAULK
Well, sir, it was mainly for the water-skiing ...
CUT TO shot of Klingon warriors in full battle gear, water-skiing.
... and the disco parties ...
CUT TO shot of Klingon warriors dancing to Village People in disco.
... and the racing ...
CUT TO animation of two Klingon Birds-of-Prey in space. Sounds of car
engines revving. With a screech and a roar they zoom off, one of them
"popping a wheelie." CUT back to FAULK and WORF.
... but not for the killing. I definitely wrote that down on my
enlistment form--no killing.
WORF
Faulk--what are you, some kind of pacifist?
FAULK
Pacifist? Oh, no, sir, I'm not a pacifist.
WORF
Well, that's a relief.
FAULK
I'm a coward.
WORF
Faulk--that is a VERY stupid line.
FAULK
But sir--that's what is says in the script--
RIKER'S VOICE (OOV)
CUT! Hold on, hold on ...
RIKER walks into the scene, dressed in TNG uniform with a beret on his head
and a megaphone in his hand.
RIKER
Look guys, can you PLEASE stick to the script?
WORF
I'm sorry sir, but whoever wrote this apparently doesn't know
Klingons very well. A true Klingon is not a coward.
FAULK
I have to agree, sir. Couldn't we change the line?
RIKER
What? We're in the middle of dress rehearsal for tomorrow's
performance, the whole crew's waiting for this, we've been
practicing for weeks, and NOW you want to change the line?
FAULK
It could get better laughs, sir.
RIKER
It's not that bad of a joke, is it?
WORF
Yes it is, sir.
RIKER
Hmmm. I suppose you're right. Damn. I guess we'll have to go
with Beverley's stuff then. (taps combadge) Riker to Dr. Crusher.
CUT TO woodsy field, in the middle of which is a mudpit. Dr. CRUSHER is
standing with 6 or so Starfleet personnel, all dressed in TNG uniforms.
CRUSHER
Go ahead, Will.
RIKER'S VOICE
I'd like to know if you're ready to perform your stuff.
CRUSHER
We're just about to start, Will.
RIKER'S VOICE
What exactly will you be doing?
CRUSHER
Well, we were talking about re-enacting the first contact with the
First Federation, and Geordi said he'd finished a second draft of
the Death of Surak, but we finally decided on a re-enactment of the
Battle of Cheron.
RIKER'S VOICE
That sounds very entertaining. Good luck with your performance.
CRUSHER
Thanks, Will. Would you mind giving us an intro?
RIKER'S VOICE
Not at all.
CUT to RIKER, with beret off.
RIKER
(to camera) Ladies and gentlemen, the Enterprise Theatre Players,
under the direction of Dr. Beverley Crusher, will now present their
re-enactment of the Battle of Cheron.
CUT to CRUSHER, who blows a whistle to start the performance.
CUT to mudpit, where several Enterprise crewpeople jump in and start slinging
mud and wrestling at a very fast rate.
CUT to the Ops Room of DS9, where MAJOR KIRA is watching the "Battle of
Cheron" on the main viewer. She switches it off in disgust and goes to study
some of the monitor stations.
SISKO'S VOICE
Station log, stardate ... stardate ... wait a minute (sound of hand
smacking metal) ... stardate ... damn ...
CUT to Sisko's office, where SISKO is behind his desk shaking the stardate
timer KIRK was using at the beginning of the show. KIRK (circa TOS) is with
him.
KIRK
I told you, it's been on the blink for some time now.
SISKO
You sure it's not the battery?
KIRK
I changed the battery this morning. You know, maybe if you hit it
again--
SISKO
No, no, that doesn't do any good. Maybe a chip's loose. Got a
screwdriver on you?
KIRK
Maybe we can get one of the lighting people (looks at camera) Oh!
Um--Ben ...
SISKO
(looks up at camera) Oh hello. Look, I'm terribly sorry about
this, it's just that--well, it's late in the season and money is
starting to get a little tight--
KIRK
(to camera) So they're cutting back on things.
SISKO
Yes, little things. Like this timer. Cost a lot of money.
KIRK
But of course you don't see it do anything, except when FX is added
in.
SISKO
Yes, that's right. But you don't really want to know about that.
KIRK
No, no, he's quite right. You don't.
SISKO
So if you don't mind going back to Ops, we'll try to start the next
sketch properly. As for the stardate--
KIRK
Don't worry about the stardate, Ben. Just say "supplemental."
SISKO
"Supplemental."
KIRK
Always worked for me.
SISKO
Hmmmm. I'll try it.
CUT to Ops Room and Kira.
SISKO'S VOICE
Station log, supplemental. A new strain of the aphasia virus has
affected almost all the station personnel. Although Dr. Bashir
assures me this strain is non-lethal, there have been some
complications when we try to talk to each other.
DAX enters Ops, carrying two flags. She begins waving them semaphore style
at KIRA. Caption: MAJOR KIRA?
KIRA picks up two other flags and starts waving them back. Caption: YES,
WHAT IS IT NOW?
DAX waving. Caption: YOU'RE NEEDED AT QUARK'S--ONE OF THE BAJORAN VEDEKS
GOT IN A FIGHT.
KIRA waving. Caption: HAVE YOU CALLED ODO?
DAX waving. Caption: HE'S ON HIS WAY.
CUT to ODO walking down the Promenade,
SISKO'S VOICE
Of course, different people have been affected in different ways.
While the people in Ops are talking in semaphore, others have
suddenly discovered a talent for Morse code.
CUT to ODO at the entrance to QUARK'S bar. He morphs into a large spotlight
which immediately begins flashing in Morse Code. Caption: QUARK!!
Cut to QUARK behind the bar. He sees ODO and picks up a small Aldis lamp.
He begins flashing in Morse code. Caption: NO NEED TO SHOUT CONSTABLE,
THEY'RE OVER HERE.
Pan over to a VEDEK on the floor. He begins pulling himself up on a nearby
rope. We see that the rope is on a pulley and that on the other end, several
naval signal flags are being hoisted. Caption: OOOOH, MY ACHING HEAD.
Pan over to MORN, at the bar, tapping on a telegraph key. We hear Morse
beeps. Caption: IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR TRYING TO UNDO MY BRA.
CUT to BASHIR, carrying a padd and walking down a hallway to the Infirmary.
SISKO'S VOICE
Meanwhile, Dr. Bashir, who is so far unaffected by the virus, is
searching for a cure.
CUT to Infirmary. BASHIR enters.
BASHIR
Computer--activate emergency medical monitor.
The DOCTOR shimmers into existence.
DOCTOR
State the nature of the medical emergency.
BASHIR
Mutated aphasia virus. Here. (hands DOCTOR the padd) This is the
data.
DOCTOR
(looks at padd and sniffs derisively) Your data?
CUT to DATA on Enterprise-D bridge.
DATA
(to camera) No. I'M Data. You're the doctor.
CUT to DOCTOR and BASHIR.
DOCTOR
Which of us was he talking to?
BASHIR
You, doctor.
DOCTOR
Me Doctor? Oh, yes, that's right, I AM a doctor. Right, onto the
biobed, then.
BASHIR
What, me, doctor?
DOCTOR
No, me doctor, YOU patient.
BASHIR
No, no, I'm not a patient, I'm a doctor.
DOCTOR
You, Doctor?
BASHIR
Yes, ME doctor, YOU second opinion.
DOCTOR
Oh, ah. Second opinion, eh? Glad we got that straightened out.
BASHIR
Yes, we were saving the doctor sketch for next week.
DOCTOR
Of course, of course. Now about this problem of yours.
BASHIR
Yes, what's your opinion?
DOCTOR
To be honest ... I don't know. I just don't know. I really just
don't know. I'm afraid I really just don't know. I'm afraid that
even I, with all my medical knowledge, just don't know. I have to
tell you, I'm afraid even I really just don't know. To be quite
frank, I have to tell you, I'm afraid even I just--er--
BASHIR hands him a glass of water, which he drinks.
DOCTOR
Thank you ... I don't know.
BASHIR
So you can't help us then.
DOCTOR
I didn't say that. I just said I don't know.
BASHIR
Well, what good are you then?
DOCTOR
Ah, well, that's simple. I'm a good link for the next sketch.
BASHIR
How so?
DOCTOR
Come this way. (they move to biobed, next to blank wall) You see
this bed?
BASHIR
Yes.
DOCTOR
Well, the budget's been so tight that we use the same bed for
everything.
BASHIR
Everything?
CUT to KES, sitting in biobed, pouting sexily.
KES
Well, ALMOST everything.
CUT to BASHIR and DOCTOR.
DOCTOR
(clears throat nervously) Yes, well--anyway this means that if I
move over here ...
Camera pans with DOCTOR as he moves away from bed towards a familiar-looking
door. It opens to reveal a corridor of VOYAGER. DOCTOR peers through it.
CUT to corridor outside VOYAGER sickbay. DOCTOR is peeking out the door
looking down the hall.
DOCTOR
(grins) Hello Captain.
JANEWAY'S VOICE
Good morning, Doctor.
PAN with JANEWAY as she strides down the corridor.
CUT to f/x shot of Voyager orbiting a planet.
JANEWAY'S VOICE
Captain's log, stardate--oh, never mind, that joke's been flogged
to death this episode. Anyway two of our crewpeople have gone
missing while using our shuttle. We think they're on the planet
we're orbiting at the moment.
CUT to Voyager bridge as JANEWAY enters and take her seat. KIM, PARIS,
CHAKOTAY and TUVOK are at their stations.
JANEWAY
Status report.
KIM
We've been able to make contact with the planetary authorities.
JANEWAY
On screen.
CUT to main viewer showing an officious-looking policeman.
POLICEMAN
Good morning ma'am.
JANEWAY
Good morning. I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the--
POLICEMAN
Speak up please, ma'am.
JANEWAY
(louder) I said, I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship
Voyager. We believe--
POLICEMAN
Sorry ma'am, I can't hear you. Could you speak up please?
JANEWAY
(yelling) I'M CAPTAIN KATHRYN JANEWAY OF THE STARSHIP VOYAGER!
POLICEMAN
Sorry again, ma'am, but that's a bit too loud. Mebbe a little
softer please.
JANEWAY
(louder than normal) How's this?
POLICEMAN
(shaking head) That's almost got it--er, can you do it in a higher
pitch?
JANEWAY
(normal voice) What do you mean, higher pitch?
POLICEMAN
I beg your pardon, ma'am?
JANEWAY
(falsetto) I said, is this alright then?
POLICEMAN
That's it! That's almost got it, now if you can do it a little
louder--
JANEWAY
(loud and falsetto) All right, what about now?
POLICEMAN
Perfect, absolutely perfect! Now what seems to be the trouble?
JANEWAY
(in same voice) I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship
Voyager. I think two of my crewmen may have crash-landed on your
planet.
POLICEMAN
Ah, you want our Alien visitors department then. Hang on a moment,
I'll transfer you. (screen blanks to planet scene)
TUVOK
Curious. Their auditory senses seems attuned to different
frequencies than ours.
CHAKOTAY
That's kinda obvious, isn't it, Tuvok?
TUVOK
True. But it happens to be my only line for this bit.
Screen now lights up showing SECOND POLICEMAN.
SECOND POLICEMAN
Yes, can I help you?
JANEWAY
(loud, high-pitched voice) Yes, I believe two of my crewpeople may
have landed on your planet--
SECOND POLICEMAN
Excuse me, ma'am, but why the funny voice?
JANEWAY
(normal voice) I'm sorry, I just got used to talking that way to
the first person I spoke with--
SECOND POLICEMAN
I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't make out what you're saying in that
tone. Can you lower your pitch please?
JANEWAY
I'm sorry I--oh, okay then (very low voice) I think two of my
crewpeople are on your planet.
SECOND POLICEMAN
Two newcomers? I think we had a report on that last night. Let me
get the night man here. (aside, very fast) Boscogetinheresome-
peoplewannaknowboutwhatyoufoundlastnight!
A THIRD POLICEMAN walks into the room.
THIRD POLICEMAN
(basso voice) What is it, sergeant?
SECOND POLICEMAN
(fast) Thiswomanhereisashipcaptainwhothinkstwoofhercrewmight
havefetcheduphererememberthatcrashyourecorded?
THIRD POLICEMAN
(basso voice) Yes of course I do. (normal voice) Can you
describe the craft your crewmembers were travelling in?
JANEWAY
(normal voice) Well, it's a white-colored ship, with red trim, two
nacelles at the bottom, and it's got--
The two policemen have been staring blankly at the screen.
JANEWAY
(very very fast and in very deep voice) Isaiditsawhitecoloredship
withredtrimtwonacellesatthebottomandtheresasmokedglasswindscreena
tthefront.
The THIRD POLICEMAN nods in comprehension.
THIRD POLICEMAN
Something like that crashed here last night. We didn't find anyone
on board though.
SECOND POLICEMAN
Doweneedtodoasearchsir?
THIRD POLICEMAN
(deep voice) I think a search is in order. (aside in falsetto)
Despatch, get in here! (deep voice) I want you to call all the
hospitals in the area and see if any newcomers have checked in.
FIRST POLICEMAN appears at the door.
THIRD POLICEMAN
(squeaking) There you are. I want you to check the hotels in the
city, see if anyone new's shown up. (picks up dispatch mike and
says in singsong voice) CALLing ALL squad PATrols IN the ARea BEE
on THE lookOUT for TWO stranGERS they JUST esCAPEd a CRASH.
(normal voice) We'll find them for you ma'am!
SCREEN goes blank.
JANEWAY
Opinions, people?
PARIS
This is the dumbest sketch we've ever been in.
KIM
Yeah, let's pack it in and call it a day.
JANEWAY
(pause) Yeah, all right.
Everyone leaves the bridge. Roll credits:
PYTHONTREK IV : THE VOYAGE WHERE?
was scripted by
VICTOR W. WONG
based on characters and situations created by
GENE RODDENBERRY
RICK BERMAN
MICHAEL PILLER
JERI TAYLOR
and plots and stories by
GRAHAM CHAPMAN
JOHN CLEESE
TERRY GILLIAM
ERIC IDLE
TERRY JONES
MICHAEL PALIN
All characters and likenesses
copyright (c) 1995 Paramount Pictures Inc.
USED WITHOUT PERMISSION FOR PARODY PURPOSES
This is an UNAUTHORIZED and UNOFFICIAL parody of characters and situations
as seen in the STAR TREK collection of television series, based on a story
concept used earlier on the alt.startrek.creative newsgroup on Internet.
Persons wishing to publish or reproduce this work in a not-for-profit
publication (e.g. fanzine) may contact the author for permission through
the Internet at
ah447@freenet.carleton.ca
--
Copyright (C) 1995 Victor W. Wong. All rights reserved.
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