It started like every normal night. My parents went out and I was stuck watching television. Not that I minded, I like TV. There was a thunderstorm starting but I didn't mind.
Thunderstorms never bothered me before. Still, even before I knew what was going to happen I knew that thunderstorm was different somehow. It was foreboding.
The next thing I knew the storm got really bad. I tried to not think about it and just watch the television but fate would not allow me to forget it.
I heard a clap of thunder. Soon after that, a flash of lightning struck my remote. The lightning actually came in through my house and hit my remote!
All of a sudden, I was flying; I looked down and saw a whole city. I felt like I was going to throw up. Like I said, I wasn't afraid of thunder, but heights terrified me.
I tried to enjoy myself and just relax. A creature was flying besides me. I looked at him. He looked like Brooklyn from the Gargoyles television show.
I was so startled I almost stopped flying. I was inside the television. I remembered the lightning hitting the remote. I figured that it was either alternate universes or virtual realty gone haywire. Either way, I was inside the television. The lightning hitting the remote must have done something to my reality. It's amazing how smart and rational you can be when you’ve traveled to alternate realities. Yes, that's what I decided it had to be, alternate realities.
I looked at myself I had a tail wings, talons, and my skin was purple! I noticed I had my remote control in a pouch tied to my belt. I fumbled to open the pouch and pull out the remote. After pulling out the remote, I gave a thumbs up sign to Brooklyn and pushed a few buttons on the remote.
Pushing the buttons made something happen, I don’t know what hut the next thing I knew I was looking Ray Kowalski in the face.
I recognized where I was in a second; Due South, third season, in the middle of an interrogation. If only I could have been zapped into a second season episode so I could have met the original Ray Veechio.
"Did you whack the guy!" Kowalski asked me, or rather yelled at me like he already had the answer. I now knew why some of my friends said they didn’t like Kowalski, still he was cute so I played along.
"Maybe, I don’t know." I said weakly.
"Maybe? Either you killed the guy or you didn’t," Kowalski was still yelling at me.
"Maybe she's telling the truth. She could have amnesia." Fraser offered. He was standing near the door of the small green room. Kowalski turned and gave him an evil look.
I found the remote in my jeans pocket. I turned to Kowalski and said, "Kowalski I always wanted to tell you that you are very cute, but I miss the real Ray, you can be just plain annoying at times."
"What are you talking about?" He asked surprised.
I had no time to tell him what I meant because I clicked the right button on my remote and I was off to another show.
My face was disfigured and needed major moisturizer. I looked off to my left and saw a girl about my age with blond hair charging towards me. As she came closer I saw that the girl was Buffy.
"Prepare to be non-existent!" she was running towards me with a stake in her hand.
I felt my teeth, piecing the evidence together. They were sharp and pointy. I was a vampire, and I had a vampire slayer trying to kill me. Not a pretty picture.
So I quickly whipped out my remote control. Buffy attacked me and the remote flew out of my hand, landing a few yards away. I kicked her, finally having the money spent for kickboxing pay off. She fell and I ran for the remote.
Just as Buffy was going to kill me with a stake through the heart, I pressed a button and jumped into another television show just in time.
I now sat at a bar, drinking a glass of wine. I put down the glass and almost spit out the liquid because I hate alcohol. I swallowed it instead and looked to the barstool next to me. I was stuck in the show Early Edition, sitting next to Gary, the guy who gets tomorrows newspaper today.
I turned to him and started a conversation. After watching that show, I had a few things on my mind and a few questions to ask Gary.
"Why don’t you ever look at the lottery numbers?"
"What?" Gary was trying to cover up his secret.
"If you get tomorrows newspaper today, why don’t you look at the lottery numbers. You could be rich."
"W-what? H-how did you know that?" Gary asked, he was very surprised and startled at the fact that I knew this.
"Do you always stutter when you’re nervous?" I smiled at him. "You know what I’m talking about, now answer the question."
"It would be wrong to use the paper like that."
"Always the Boy Scout aren’t you?"
"Chuck used to say that."
"I know, I think I picked up that phrase from him; but that was before he left and went to California."
"How do you know all this?"
I talked with him for a few minutes; I was having so much fun with him. We totally connected. I didn't want to leave but I accidentally leaned against my pocket, and hit the remote control buttons.
There was a flash of light and the channel changed. All of a sudden, I was standing in a morgue, looking over a dead corpse of an alien. I noticed that my hands were gloved and inside the alien's stomach, checking out its insides. I will remember that for the rest of my life, the feeling of my hands in dead alien parts and blood. It was the grossest thing I've ever felt. I jumped back and pulled my hands out of it's stomach.
In walked a man who had brown hair and looked like Mulder from the X-files. Actually, as I found out, it was Mulder.
"Scully, did you find the cause of death?"
I was Scully? I looked at the metal of the examination table, yes, I was Scully. "No, not yet." I answered the question.
I took off the bloodied gloves and walked over to Mulder. I was intent on having a purpose for this mission. As I walked over to him I said "Mulder, Scully- er I,” Forgetting who I was supposed to be for a second I faltered, "have been waiting to do this for a long time." I kissed him.
Finally, Mulder and Scully kissed. After waiting for it to happen for a few years, here I was making it happen.
Then, I felt something pull me out of the television and I fell onto my couch. I looked at my remote control just before it exploded into dust.
That was one of my strangest nights, and not one I’ll soon forget.
THE END