SKID’S ALTERNATIVE EPISODE 4.2

‘I still don’t understand why you didn’t have a honeymoon. Ambrose and I could have
looked after the bar,’ Niamh told Assumpta.
‘You have Kieran to look after. And your father. Anyway, we had a nice time without
a honeymoon. We’re married. And that’s all that matters,’ Assumpta replied. ‘Now
could you hold this for a minute?’
‘I mean, Dad needs more time with Kieran. We could have looked after it.’
Assumpta groaned.
‘Alright I’ll stop,’ Niamh answered. ‘But don’t blame me if you find out you did want
a honeymoon. Where’s Peter?’
‘Walking Fionn.’
‘Why isn’t Kevin doing it?’
‘Kevin is on holiday in London with his mother.’
‘What does Padraig think?’
‘I don’t know why don’t you ask him?’
Niamh looked at her. ‘You’re very snippy this morning Assumpta.’
‘I am not snippy Niamh. I am just tired. And I don’t feel very well.’
‘Have you seen the doctor?’
‘No Niamh. I don’t need to see the doctor. It’s probably just stress.’
‘I’m back!’ Peter called from the kitchen.
Assumpta walked out to see him. ‘Good walk?’
Peter nodded and kissed her. ‘Fionn discovered plenty of new holes that he hadn’t
looked in yet.’
Assumpta laughed. ‘That’d be right.’
‘How are you Niamh?’ Peter asked.
‘Fine.’
‘Anyone here?’ a voice called from the bar.
Assumpta sighed. ‘They never give up do they?’
‘Right, now we have four Americans coming to visit me here. Ballykissangel has to
be perfect for them,’ Quigley said.
‘Sure, why are they coming here?’ Liam asked.
‘Promotion. Americans love rural Ireland.’
Liam and Donal exchanged wary looks, remembering the movie.

‘He wants to have a what?’ Assumpta asked Niamh, wide-eyed.
‘A cowboy night at the pub. He’s having some friends from America come here and
he wants to give them a nice welcome.’
‘Why here?’
‘Because it’s a pub.’
Assumpta sighed. ‘And he’s paying?’
Niamh nodded. ‘He said whatever the cost, he will pay.’
Assumpta nodded. ‘Alright. But he’ll have to come here and organise it.’
Niamh smiled. ‘I can’t wait to see your outfit for this. You should wear what you
wore to my wedding reception.’
Assumpta looked at her. ‘Right, whatever. Can you go and find Peter for me?’
She went back to drying glasses and Niamh went to find Peter.
‘You rang boss?’ Peter asked.
‘Where were you?’
‘Getting Fionn some water.’
‘Right. We need some things from Cilldargen. Could you get them?’
Peter nodded. ‘Give me the list and I shall away.’
‘Good.’

‘Pint of lager please Assumpta,’ Liam asked.
‘Shouldn’t you be working?’ Niamh asked as she served a pint to Padraig.
‘Nope. Mr Quigley says he doesn’t need us today. Assumpta?’
Assumpta sat down rather hurriedly in a chair. Niamh went to her side.
‘Assumpta? I am taking you to Doc Ryan.’

‘Well?’ Assumpta asked, sitting in front of Michael.
‘Assumpta, did you know you were pregnant?’
Assumpta’s eyes widened. ‘No.’
‘Well, you were. Have you noticed any blood?’
Assumpta’s eyes hit the floor and she put her head in her hands. ‘How could I be so
stupid!’
‘Assumpta you’re not stupid. A lot of women don’t realise they’re pregnant and then
they don’t realise they have had a miscarriage.’
Assumpta sighed. ‘I better get back to the pub. Thanks.’
Michael stood up. ‘Assumpta take it easy for awhile okay?’
Assumpta nodded.

Peter came into the bar. ‘Padraig why are you serving?’
‘Niamh took Assumpta to the doctor.’
Peter dropped what he was carrying and raced to Michael’s.

Niamh was comforting Assumpta at her house when Peter came through the door.
Niamh motioned for him to leave. Peter was looking confused so Niamh sent
Ambrose out after him.
‘Peter!’ Ambrose called.
Peter turned around. ‘Ambrose do you know what is going on?’
Ambrose nodded. ‘How about we go to the pub?’

Assumpta sniffled and picked up her coat. ‘I better go,’ she mumbled.
‘I sent Ambrose after Peter. I think he might have told him.’
Assumpta nodded and left.

‘Miscarraige,’ Peter said, disbelievingly.
‘I’m really sorry,’ Ambrose told him.
Peter nodded then looked up as the front door to Fitzgerald’s opened and shut.
‘I’d better go,’ Ambrose said quietly.
Peter nodded and went upstairs to his and Assumpta’s bedroom.
‘Assumpta?’ he asked, as he knocked on the door.
‘Yeah?’
Peter walked in and sat beside her on the bed, pulling her close.
‘It’s my fault,’ Assumpta whispered.
‘It’s not your fault. You didn’t know you were pregnant,’ Peter replied.
‘I should have.’
Peter sighed. He knew he was not going to win this one. He hugged and kissed her.

‘Dad!’
‘What?’
‘She has just had a miscarriage!’
‘I know. And this will be a good idea to take her mind off things. Besides, I can’t let
these people down.’
Niamh sighed. ‘Just don’t upset her.’
‘Who? Me?’ Brian asked.

Assumpta was cooking. Peter came up behind her and kissed her.
‘I love you,’ he said.
Assumpta turned around and hugged him. ‘I love you too.’
‘Anyone here?’ called Padraig.
Assumpta sighed and went to go out to the bar.
‘I’ll go,’ Peter told her.
Assumpta smiled and nodded.
‘Hi Padraig,’ Peter smiled.
Padraig looked rather grumpy. ‘Pint of stout Peter.’
Peter decided that maybe Padraig didn’t want to talk.
‘Do you know what’s happened?’ Padraig asked him.
‘I’m afraid not,’ Peter replied.
‘Kevin wants to stay awhile in London! He told me that he wouldn’t be living with
her!’
‘Padraig, staying a little while in London doesn’t mean he wants to live with her,’
Peter told him, placing his pint down.
‘Yes but you don’t know my ex-wife.’
‘Padraig maybe if you talk to her, you will find that she just wants to spend some time
with her son. He hasn’t been around her that much you know.’
‘She’s evil.’
‘Why don’t you just try and see it from her point of view. Maybe then you will
understand.’
‘I will never understand that woman,’ Padraig growled.
Peter sighed and went back into the kitchen to help Assumpta.
‘Assumpta!’ Brian called.
Assumpta rolled her eyes and handed the spoon to Peter. ‘Don’t burn it,’ she smiled.
‘Ah Assumpta. Are you all ready for tommorow?’ Brian asked.
Assumpta nodded. ‘Notice the sign advertising it on the door. That means we’re
ready.’
Brian nodded and turned to go. He turned back. ‘Assumpta?’
Assumpta turned around. ‘Yes?’
‘You have my condolences,’ he told her as he left.
Assumpta’s face softened as she went back into the kitchen to help Peter.

‘Chad, Mick, Steven and Sylvia. Welcome to Ballykissangel,’ Brian smiled.
‘Hello Brian,’ Mick grinned.
‘So this is Ballyk?’ Steven asked.
Brian nodded. ‘This is it.’
‘Where’s the pub then?’ Chad asked, grinning.

Assumpta had taken Niamh’s advice and was wearing the outfit that she had worn to
her wedding reception.
‘You look beautiful,’ Peter smiled, hugging her.
‘You don’t look to bad yourself,’ she replied.
Peter was dressed in a flannel jacket and jeans.
‘Hello all,’ Siobhan and Brendan arrived.
They were suitably dressed in cowboy attire.
‘Is he here yet?’ Padraig asked.
Assumpta shook her head. ‘We’ll know when they are though.’
‘And how is that?’ Niamh asked, coming in with Ambrose and handing Kieran to
Peter.
‘They will all have accents.’
‘They probably think they same of us,’ Padraig pointed out.
Peter smiled and handed Kieran to Assumpta.
‘Good evening everyone,’ Brian said, coming in.
Behind him came three men and a woman.
‘This is Chad, Steven, Mick and Sylvia,’ Brian introduced.
‘So do you like Ballyk?’ Siobhan asked.
‘Great scenery,’ Chad leered, looking straight at Assumpta.
Peter moved forward but Assumpta stopped him.
‘I’m glad you like it,’ she said. ‘My husband did too when he first arrived. Still does
in fact.’
That shut him up and Peter smiled.
Eammon arrived, wearing a jaunty cowboy hat and boots. ‘Diet cola please
Assumpta,’ he said.
Siobhan smiled at Eammon’s attire. ‘Well decked out aren’t you Eammon.’
Eammon nodded. ‘Have to look me best for those Americans that Quigley’s
expecting. I might get a job.’
‘Doing what?’ Padraig asked.
‘Movies,’ Eammon nodded, knowingly.
Brendan rolled his eyes. The Americans were looking at Eammon with strange looks
on their faces.
‘Pint of stout please,’ Chad asked Assumpta.
‘Stout?’ Sylvia said.
‘Listen, love, stout is Irish. We have to get people to like us here.’
‘He’s not doing to well by hitting on your wife,’ Padraig whispered to Peter.
‘Piffle,’ Steven told Chad. ‘Hey bartender. Give us a Bud.’
Assumpta raised her eyebrow.
Peter served the stout and Assumpta served the Bud.
‘Nothing like true American lager,’ Sylvia smiled at Assumpta.
‘What did you actually come to Ballyk for?’ Brendan asked.
‘To bring some truth to the place. Liveliness. See if it is good enough for us to
promote in America.’
‘Goodness. Wouldn’t want it to be, I don’t know, too boring for you Americans now
would we?’ Assumpta asked.
Chad’s grin faded. ‘Ballyk is a dead town from what we have seen so far. We are here
to liven it up.’
‘And get a bit of money while they’re at it,’ Brendan muttered.
‘Well now, let’s put some music on shall we?’ Brian said cheerfully.
Soon the Shania Twain album was playing and people were dancing.
After a while someone put on the Rock and Roll Kids.
Assumpta and Peter sent sideways glances to Niamh from where they were dancing.
Niamh stood smiling innocently besides the CD player.
Peter looks at Assumpta who smiles and kissed him.
‘Remember this song from somewhere?’ she asked.
‘Yeah. I believe we were sneaking glances at each other to see if the other was
looking,’ Peter replied.
Assumpta smiled. ‘Thankfully we don’t have to sneak glances anymore.’
‘Very thankfully,’ Peter smiled as he hugged her.

ROLL CREDITS