All I Want is Freedom

Say you love me every waking moment...

Turn my head with talk of summertime...

Say you need me with you now and always...

Promise me that all you say is true--

That's all I ask of you...

The Phantom of the Opera (2005)

ALL I WANT IS FREEDOM\\ this is my journal

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Feb. 26, 2005 @ 11:59 am

Wala akong pera (okay, fine, two pesos). Wala akong damit. Wala rin akong underwear na maisusuot dahil lahat ay nagamit ko na. In other words, hindi ako makakapasok sa Comm120 (or I just love making excuses).

Kasi naman ang gastos ko (or masarap lang talagang gumastos). Baka itakwil na ako ng aking ama kapag humingi pa ko. Abonado pa ko sa pag-Xerox kahapon. Abonado pa ang org sa pesteng venue na hindi naman nagamit. Potek. Dapat talaga mabawi namin ang pera. Isama ko kaya si Misha at si Joey pag bumalik ako dun. For more, si Cheska. Hmm...

Okay naman ang F.I. kahapon. Pamatay nga lang sa haba—alas-dos na ng hapon natapos. Labing anim ba naman ang ininterview. Sa totoo lang, nakaiglip ako for three minutes, nung kay Rey yata. Biruin mo, pati si Misha na ultimate insomniac, nakaiglip din. Haaay. Satisfied naman ako sa resulta. Basta ang importante, walang na-reject.

Naiinggit ako sa mga inawardan ng US (University Scholar) nung isang araw. Once ko lang naabot ang ganong estado sa UP life ko, di pa ko naawardan kasi wala raw akong PE for that sem (di ko sinipot kasi pang-tanghaling swimming yung nakuha ko). Tapos super DQ pa ko this sem. Eto ngang Comm120 e, isang malaking example. Screwed up lang talaga ang priorities ko.

Pero (isang malaking pero) I've learned my lesson. Isang malaki, mabigat, at umaapoy na comet ang sumalpak sa ulo ko, na sinundan ng isang shining, shimmering, at splendid na realisasyon—na haharang-harang daw ako sa pathway ng comet. Joke lang. Kailangan ko na raw ng konting "change" sa aking life. May dalawa pa raw akong sems and the rest of my life for that. May chance pa raw akong makabawi. Konting effort, konting sacrifice.

Hindi ko na masyadong pro-problemahin. Magiging double loser lang ako. Idadaan ko na lang sa ngiti, tawa, at taimtim na pagdarasal.

Isang tao ang nagturo sa 'kin na importanteng maging masaya palagi, na hindi dapat nagpapaapekto sa mga problema. Na di dapat kinakalimutan ang pagiging bata—ang pagiging "innocent at carefree." Para siyang si Peter Pan. Mahulaan niya kaya na siyo 'yon? Wateber.

Mga pahabol:

*Salamat sa mga bagong miyembro (at malapit nang maging bagong miyembro) ng Cineastes. Mahal na mahal ko kayong lahat. Asteeg kayo. I'm so proud of you guys!

*Deanne at James (at Myke, kung sasama ka), good luck sa bowling tourney mamaya! Kaya niyo 'yan!

*Naiintriga ako sa Sideways...

*I'll start a new trend sa blog ko. I'll try to post a trivia about myself regularly. Here's the very first one: Alam niyo bang sobrang tamad kong magbasa? Hindi lang ng readings, pati na rin ng dyaryo at mga libro. Pag nagbabasa ako ng libro, palaging hindi ako makapaghintay na matapos. Mas madalas, pinipilit ko lang ang sarili kong magbasa para lang may magawa. Mas gusto ko talaga ang magsulat kesa ang magbasa. Ginaganahan lang ako kapag sobrang ganda at interesting ng babasahin (Harry Potter, Angels and Demons, or The Godfather, for example). O di ba?

CHARMED AND DANGEROUS

where's the moon?

.PLAYLIST

All I Ask of You
Think of Me
The Phantom of the Opera

I just can't stop singing these songs. The movie has gotten me obsessed.

Beautiful Soul
Jesse McCartney

True
Ryan Cabrera

Boy Band Vocals + Good Melody + Meaningful and Easy-to-Relate-to Lyrics = A Good Mushy Song

Boulevard of Broken Dreams Green Day

It's good as long as you don't take in too much of the lyrics.

You'll Be Safe Here
Rivermaya

Rico does it again. The song is perfect for romantic moods (lights turned off, candles lit, the moon gleaming outside the window, the cold wind blowing, a howl from afar...)

Hari ng Sablay
Sugarfree

Reminds me of me. Enough said.

.ALMA.MATERS

CSA, Makati

For eight years, St. Augustine was my patron saint and Viva Sto. Niño often became the last song that was stuck inside my head.

Manila Science High School

No, I'm not a nerd. I just wanted a high school with no stipend, and that operated from 7 AM to 7 PM. Imagine four years of your life without a decent spot on the school paper, or a really good sport like soccer. It was Robinsons Manila that saved me.

.GROUPIES UP Cineastes' Studio | UP Cinema

.SILVER.SCREEN

Recent.favs

The Phantom of the Opera

If you're fond of musicals and are a sucker for romantic songs, then go watch this $85 million movie version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's famous play.

Closer

The plot is intriguing, the lines are moving, the characters are captivating, the song is entrancing. And oh, there's Natalie Portman.

It's All About Love

The title says it all. Deep. Very deep.

2046

Wong Kar Wai redefines the meaning of love.

Kung Fu Hustle

Watch this movie if you want to see unbelievable stunts. Or if you just want to die laughing.

.MUSIC alternative | rock | jazz | senti | OPM

//The Calling | Lifehouse | Maroon 5 | Mishka Adams | Rivermaya

.PAGES Harry Potter series - JK Rowling | Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert Pirsig | Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom | The Godfather - Mario Puzo | Angels and Demons/The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

Feb. 24, 2005 @ 10:06 am

Yesterday afternoon I went to see a doctor to be examined and finally find out the reason behind my lower back problem. After a short computerized test, a seven-page result was printed and the doctor told me that I was relatively healthy.

After I explained to her my condition, she suggested that I had a structural problem and not an internal one. She clarified that it was my curved spine that was upsetting a few nerves. She told us that she would try to contact another doctor, one who could possibly help correct my spine problem through physical therapy. At least we found out that I didn't have any serious illnesses. :D

My dad got hyped because of the computerized test that he also had one, and was ecstatic to find out that he was healthy for his age. He didn't stop talking about it even when we already got home. Well, that's typical of my dad. :D

Feb. 15, 2005 @ 10:39 pm

This morning I was scanning TV channels and I happened to watch the "making" of the film adaptation of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Once again, I was mesmerized. Now I have a new film to watch out for. And I also developed a longing to read all of the books.

***

I came down the Ayala Station on my way home this evening, and walked the pavement with fear building up inside me. The images I saw on TV the night before flashed vividly inside my mind. As I sat on the bus, I couldn't believe I was sitting on the spot where a number of people have died and were injured a little more than twenty-four hours ago. And yet nothing seemed to have happened; everything went on like it used to. But maybe that was the point: we have no other choice but to move on. I just hope we all learned something from it. I know I did.

***

PiPOL is going to feature four film directors tonight: Mark Meily, Laurenti Dyogi, Lav Diaz, and Erik Matti.

***

I was having a casual conversation with my coFGs and Bam made us talk of lessons we learned today. When it was my turn, I thought hard until I finally blurted out, "one cannot wait forever." It's just that I realized that although I will do my best to wait, I know that if it takes too long, I would eventually give up. And that's just the sad truth.

I remember a similar conversation I had with Tonette. I basically told her the same thing, and she asked me (which is also what Angel asked after I spoke) if I would then wait had the person asked me to. My answer in both instances was yes.

And so I obviously contradict myself.

Song of the day: "Didn't know I was looking for love until I found you."

Feb. 15th, 2005 @ 12:04 am

PULA

Di ko mapigilang maluha.

Una, dahil gabi-gabi kaming (ako, Leo, Vince, at Reen) bumababa at sumasakay ng bus sa Ayala Station ng MRT, at napakapalad namin dahil hindi namin naabutan ang pagsabog. Habang gumagapang sa ilalim ng TV screen ang mga pangalan ng mga namatay at nasugatan, di ko lubos maisip kung ano ang nangyari kung di biglang nagkayayaan sa Chocolate Kiss, kung umuwi kami agad, kung...

Pangalawa, dahil may mga namatay at marami ang nasugatan. Bakit kailangang madamay ang mga inosenteng tao na walang kamuwang-muwang at pauwi lamang mula sa trabaho, o katatapos lamang mag-date dahil Valentines Day?

Sadyang pula ang kulay ng araw na ito. Pula para sa t-shirt na sinuot ko. Pula para sa mga rosas at lobo. Pula para sa hugis puso. Pula para sa dugo.

Lubos ang pasasalamat ko sa Diyos dahil iniligtas niya kami. Nakakatakot dahil sementeryo pa naman ang pinuntahan ko noong umaga (nag-shoot for docu). Nakakatakot dahil sa maliit na desisyon nakasalalay ang lahat. Nakakatakot dahil wala tayong kontrol sa mga pangyayari.

Dahil dito, naisip ko na dapat mas pinahahalagahan ko ang buhay ko. Kung gaano man kabilis ang pagsabog ng bomba, ganun din kabilis ang pagbawi sa buhay ng isang tao.

Tayo pong magdasal...

Feb. 13th, 2005 @ 1:23 pm

UPDATES

Changed the header and title. For very obvious reasons. If you're still lost, refer to the previous entry. ;-)

Fixed the links. Really sorry, Zyra, for that mistake. Added Aisha, Jhaphet, and Vince.

Also updated the .PLAYLIST, Recent .SILVER.SCREEN, and .TUBE sections.

Feb. 13th, 2005 @ 11:38 am

ALL I ASK OF YOU

Saw The Phantom of the Opera with Leo, Dohna, Ayn, Tez, and Rex last night. The film totally swept me away. And up until now, I couldn't keep myself from singing All I Ask of You.

For those who would like to sing along (calling Leo), here's the complete lyrics of this enchanting song (that I took from the film's poster... *wink*):

No more talk of darkness;
Forget those wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you--
My words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,
Let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you.
To guard you and to guide you...

Say you love me
Every waking moment,
Turn my head
With talk of summertime...

Say you need me with you,
Now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true--
That's all I ask of you...

Let me be your shelter,
Let me be your light.
You're safe, no one will find you--
Your fears are far behind you...

All I want is freedom,
A world with no more night...
And you, always beside me,
To hold me and to hide me...

Then say you'll share with me
One love, one lifetime...
Let me lead you
From your solitude...

Say you need me with you here,
Beside you...
Anywhere you go, let me go too...
Christine, that's all I ask of you...

Say you'll share with me one love,
One lifetime...
Say the word
And I will follow you...

Share each day with me,
Each night, each morning...

Say you love me...
You know I do...
Love me--
That's all I ask of you...

Anywhere you go
Let me go to...
Love me--
That's all I ask of you. #

I can't stop singing... I just can't stop singing...

***

I also practiced with my coFGs yesterday for our final production on the 19th (Cineastes' FI was moved to accomodate Joey's thesis production). Although this is considered cramming, we're all doing our best to make everything work. I'm in charge of the AVPs, which we're going to shoot on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. I hope nothing goes wrong. We also already have an idea for the OBB/CBB, which I'm really looking forward to. Minus the stress, this is going to be a lot of fun.

Feb. 12th, 2005 @ 6:44 am

Just something I wrote (some of you have read this)...

UNTITLED

     I met her again today. She's still the same stubborn woman I had known for three months now.
     She called me up at five in the morning. I reached for the phone feeling disembodied, as if my mind was still wandering in this faraway land.
     "Hello," she said.
     "Who's this?" I mumbled.
     "It's me."
     It took me three seconds to figure out who it was. When the thought finally buzzed in, I slumped and answered back, "What do you want?"
     "Could we meet?" she asked.
     "It's five in the morning," I grunted.
     "Later, at seven. Same place."
     And then she cut the line.

     When I stepped inside the place, I suddenly remembered how much I hated it. It is too small and crowded, and the food isn't even that great. But she had always insisted that we met there, like she didn't recognize any other place in the city.
     I fought for a table, dragged an extra chair and sat down. The familiar smell of burning rubber crept up my nose. I cringed and looked around. It was exactly seven o'clock. She had to be there somewhere.
     I found her (or rather, she found me) and she was carrying that same smile on her face. She sat down in front of me and without even saying anything, reached across the table and held my hand.
     But before I could even unfasten my lips to reproach her, she tightly squeezed my hand and said, "Do you know what makes me so happy?"
     I stared blankly at her, thinking that the question was highly uncalled for.
     Then she continued, "When I wake up every morning knowing that I could call you up, ask you to come here, and hold your hand."
     Then she became quiet, as if anticipating some kind of melodramatic reply.
     "How come you like holding my hand?" I finally asked. It was the only thing I could think of saying at the time.
     For the first time since I had known her, she looked away. A surge of guilt and curiosity rose up inside me.
     Still looking away, she said in a voice I had never known before, the sweetest yet most distant voice she could ever mutter, "Because every time I squeeze your hand, I learn to hold on." #

***

The week has passed away like a speeding train. At some point I jumped inside and sat down. I let the train take me to a place I didn't know. Yes, I was scared. But I knew I wasn't alone.

I learned many things while staying inside the train--every stopover was a new experience. The wind was the only constant thing; it kept on blowing against my face and giving me chills. Every now and then I would look out the window and long for the sun. But the sun never came.

The train finally stopped and I went down. I left my baggage inside; I didn't want to carry a heavy load as I walked further on. One day the train would come again. And the baggage may or may not be there.

Just like the sun.

***

Okay, love fever. TAKE ME AWAY.

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.