Chapter 2-"Give Up Forever"

After leaving the cemetery, Jax returned to the cottage, to seek solace, to grieve. When he sat down in the living room, everyone: his parents, Jerry, Lois, and Julia, made themselves scarce, so that he could be alone with his thoughts. As he was pondering the mystical figure he thought he had seen in the tree at the cemetery, Jax heard Brooke Lynn's cries from the upstairs guest bedroom.

As soon as he picked her up, Brooke began to calm down, soothed by the sound of Jax's strong heartbeat. Looking deep into her blue eyes, Jax began to talk softly to her; for some reason, he felt that Brooke was the only one who understood how he felt. He walked with her, back and forth, stroking her dark hair, remembering how much he and Brenda had wanted children, and before he realized it, he was crying. In her sleep, Brooke clutched Jax's hand more firmly, as he laid her back down in her crib.

As he made his way back downstairs, he was drawn into Brenda's bedroom by the sound of music. He froze when he got to the doorway; he felt as though he had stepped into a moment out of time. There was her room, their room, exactly as she had left it: bed unmade, clothes strewn about, music playing. With his pain increasing with each step, Jax entered the room, and sat down on the bed, wanting to absorb as much of Brenda's last moments as he could. In her haste to get to Veronica, he realized, she must have left everything undone. Jax sat down on the edge of the bed, and picked up the satin nightgown Brenda had worn, though very briefly, the night before. As Brenda appeared outside her bedroom window, the next song on her CD began to play…

And I'd give up forever to touch you

Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything seems like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

Vanishing again into thin air, Brenda needed time to think about the deal, the promise she had made. She had a decision to make….

After leaving the cottage, both Jax and Brenda had returned to the Port Charles Cemetery, as the sun set over Port Charles She was once again perched in the tree, when she saw the approaching car: a blue Range Rover: Jax's car. He was by himself, or so he thought. Jax approached the gravesite, with a bouquet of pink tulips in hand, which only added to the mountain of them that already lay on Brenda's grave. "Oh, Brenda, my beautiful Brenda. I am lost without you. I don't understand, I can't understand why this has happened to us. I need you back, I need to be with you. No matter what it takes, if only for a moment, a second…" "…a night?" He heard it whispered in the wind; he heard Brenda whisper it in the wind, and that's when she understood. That was when she knew what she had to do, what choice she had to make.

She remembered the conversation clearly: she had "options," she had been told. She could eternally watch over Jax, like she was now: she could be in the same room, same piece of furniture, but she could never indicate her presence. Sure, there would be instances, like the raindrop, or her voice in the wind, just then, but that was it. Small, almost unreal instances, when Jax might think that she was near, or when he might think he was losing his mind. And then there was Plan B: one night. One mysterious, magical night, for just the two of them. They'd be able to talk and listen to each other; hold and feel each other. For 12 hours, things would be the way they had been, or as close as they could be. But there was a catch--Brenda could tell Jax that she only had the night to spend, but she couldn't encourage him in anyway in joining her in the afterlife. Any suicides, or attempts at suicide, instigated by Brenda, would immediately result in their separation, for all eternity.

Brenda had wanted to go with Option #1. She wanted to see Jax hold his first child, his first grand-child, and do all of the things they had wanted to do together. She could still watch, sure, but from afar. And that was good enough for her; she could deal with that. Until she saw Jax at the cemetery. She new that he needed her, now. He needed to understand, and hear all of the things that had been left unsaid, or that needed to be said again….

By the time she had made a decision, he was gone. Descending to Earth, Brenda picked up a tulip, inhaling its sweet fragrance. "I'm on my way, Jax…."

Jax was lying on the couch of the Penthouse, still surrounded by Brenda's belongings, listening to her CD's, trying to read her Nancy Drew books; trying to sleep and trying to grieve. And that's when he saw it, or her, as the case may be. "Brenda…"

(Song Credits- "Iris" by, The Goo Goo Dolls)