Chapter 6- Tricks of the Mind
(AUTHORS NOTE: Monte Carlo has already happened, and the only relevant details are that Jax won lots of money, and three choice acquisitions: the Isabella, the Malibu house, and Kronos.)
She ran feverishly down the beach, breathless, desperate, and completely ignorant of the late October California sunset. She had made her way to the beach from the street, where children and well-dressed mothers made their way from house to house, or mansion to mansion, as the case may be, receiving gourmet candy apples and chocolates from butlers and maids. Her unkempt brown hair and bandages flapping wildly in the breeze could not have gone unnoticed by the trick-or-treaters, nor could the two large men chasing after her.
How she had escaped the house, she didn’t know, but she paused, running a bandaged hand through her knotted hair, to savor the fresh air and ocean breeze. She had been here before, the wind, the waves, the sunset…"you never know what could happen at sunset…."
She turned at the sound of footsteps on the bluffs, and headed up an almost hidden flight of stairs; she lost her footing, and recalled falling, falling here, back into a strong pair of arms, but not now. She was on her own, and she accepted it, and enjoyed it.
She had hated the solitude of the island, and that damned cottage. She knew she liked cottages, and gardens, but the woman there-she seemed unable to stop smiling, laughing, and taking extreme pleasure in seeing her bandaged up like a mummy. Her anger exploded when the bandages finally came off of her face; she had thrown her glass at the wall, and screamed at the short, greasy man, who seemed relieved at what she was told was "minor scarring." He was the one who accompanied her here, to California, to Malibu. Michael had told her it was dangerous; the woman had cackled when he introduced himself to her as "Michael," and he had replied "Shut up, *Isabella*." She had cringed when the woman, with cold brown eyes and a grown-out brown bob, had introduced herself as "Isabella." Isabella was such a beautiful name, soothing, tranquil, like the ocean on a clear night, accompanied by nothing but "fish, stars, moon…."
She shook herself out of the daydream, and bounded up the stairs, disappointed to learn that it was a private staircase, and she couldn’t get off of the estate property. Dashing around the circular drive, her mouth dropped as she took in the house, from its Spanish-tiled roof, columned entryway, and enormous windows overlooking the water. "Wow…" Hearing the men approaching, she ran to the door, and held the doorbell down, until a man finally answered it.
His blue eyes studied her face as he gasped, dropping the plate of caramel apples onto the white marble entryway. "Oh dear lord…." he whispered, finally exhaling, "It can’t be, but it has to be…" He, too, heard the masculine voices, and careful of her bandages, pulled her into the house. She knew she was safe here, with the blue eyed man, whoever he was, and she watched him study her. He took in the sight of her, from the black boots and dark jeans, to the white, v-neck tank top; it was as though he was seeing her here for the first time. As the doorbell rang, he brought her to the kitchen, and grabbed another tray of apples.
He opened the door to reveal the two men, who were obviously in pursuit of his houseguest. "Aren’t you boys a bit old to trick-or-treat?" "The first man stepped forward "Yes, but our sister, she’s about 5"4’, brown hair, brown eyes, well, she’s got…problems." "Yeah." The other man stepped forward, "we told her we’d take her out for candy. She doesn’t really understand she’s too old, and she ran away." Noticing the fallen apples, and the man’s shaken expression, the first man piped up again. "You okay, buddy? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost?" They laughed, slapping hands, "Have you seen her?" He looked them straight in the eyes, before acknowledging their question "No. No, I have not seen your sister. I’m sorry." "Uh, thanks." "Good night."
Closing the front door, he turned off the porch light; no more witches, goblins, or ghosts tonight, except for the one in the kitchen. He opened the door, startled to see her mesmerized with her own reflection in a saucepan. She looked up, embarrassed, and put the pan back on the stove. "I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve forgotten…" she hesitated, "what I look like." He smiled. Even with her small scars, tangled hair, and bandages, there was no mistaking Brenda Barrett.
"Now, Miss Barrett, why don’t you sit down, and I’ll get you something to eat, as soon as I call Mr. Jacks." She smiled, nodded, and then turned to him again. "Who's Miss Barrett? And Mr. Jacks? And who are you?"
*****
"She WHAT? And she’s WHERE?" Miranda "Isabella" Jameson hung up the phone two seconds before she hurled it across the room. She grabbed a cigarette from the gold monogrammed case, and dialed her cellular phone. "Sonny, darling, how’s Brenda?" Back at his own beach house in Malibu, Sonny took another sip of Cognac. "Or should I say, WHERE’S Brenda?" She knew, he realized. Shit. "Look, Miranda. This whole trip was a mistake." "You can say that again." "This doctor guy said that there was nothing to work with, but I know that a couple of surgeries will get those scars of hers taken care of right away." "Damned fool! I don’t want them gone, I want them worse; I want her grotesque, deformed, disfigured…get the picture? Do you really think I went through all of the aggravation with her crazy mother to…."
Back in Malibu, Sonny was furious; he couldn’t believe Miranda had been plotting since the beginning. When she called him in Rio to tell him that she had a package for him, he was shocked that it was Brenda, and stunned that Miranda had saved her, but he never considered that Miranda had orchestrated the accident to begin with. "You? You! You-"
*****
"You. *You* are Miss Barrett. Brenda Barrett. And Mr. Jasper Jacks is your fiancée. I should know-He accepted your proposal on beach outside of this very beach house. And I," he said, with a customary nod of the head, "am Charles, Mr. Jacks’ butler, caretaker of this magnificent home, and at your service." "Brenda, Brenda Barrett. I like it. I’m sorry, but I don’t really remember much. I’m on a lot of medicine for the pain. I didn’t want to be, but the made me, and now…" She smiled through her tears.
"I’m Brenda Barrett, and I have a fiancee, and his name is Mr. Jacks, and-" Charles laughed. "Just Jax." Brenda smiled. "Jax. And I love him? I love Jax? That sounds right. I love him?" "Yes, more than any woman has loved a man." "And he loves Brenda? I mean, he loves me?" "More than there are fish in the sea, stars in the sky, more than anything in this world." Charles took her bandaged hands in his, and led her up the stairs. "And I’m going to call him, and have him come here to be with you. In the meantime, would you like to take a bath? Or a-" "A bath is fine, Charles. Thank you."
After running a bath, and leaving Miss Barrett in the privacy of the master suite, Charles returned to the kitchen, picked up the phone, dialed, and sighed. After two rings, the cell phone was answered. "Mr. Jacks?"
*****
"Mr. Jacks? Jax? God dammit." "Oh yes, Sonny. *Brenda*," Miranda spat the name out as if it were venom, "is now residing in the Malibu estate of the one and only Jasper Jacks. How ‘bout them apples? Did I get the saying right?" "Shut up, Miranda. We’ve got to get her out of there." Miranda cackled on the other end. "Oh no, Sonny. *We’re not doing anything. YOU will get her out of there, NOW. It is only a matter of time before Jax shows up, and then, well, I’m screwed, and you, Sonny, you’re dead." "You, Miranda, need to get up off of your ass, and get up here. If it weren’t for you, Brenda wouldn’t have been in the accident, and she certainly wouldn’t be in Malibu with me. I told you it was too close. I told you it was too risky to bring her this close." "But Sonny," she cooed, before unleashing her anger, "she’s not in Malibu with YOU! That’s the whole problem. Now you bring her back to me: dead or alive."
*****
"Alive? She’s alive?" His heart hammered in his chest, and for the first time in two months, it felt full, it felt whole. "Alive and in your bathtub, Mr. Jacks. But you need to know, well…." Charles hesitated. Jax was like a son to he, and to his sister Addie, who worked for Jax in Port Charles. "I need to know what?" "Well, she doesn’t, sir." As he told the pilot that their destination would be Malibu, not New Orleans, he replied, "Doesn’t what." Charles took a deep breath. "Remember, Mr. Jacks. She doesn’t remember…anything." The deep breath of hope, faith, and love that Jax had been holding since learning that Brenda was alive, shot out of him, and he lost her all over again. "I’m on my way, Charles. Let her know that. Please let her know that I’m on my way to her." He hung up the phone, reminding himself that this wasn’t a dream.
This wasn’t the dream that had haunted him night after night. Brenda wasn’t an angel; she was real, and she was alive. His love, his relief, and every other emotion he had been unable to feel since her death erupted within him, and silent tears ran down his face.
*****
Her face. She studied it in the reflection, and gingerly brought her fingers to the glass. This face finally had a name: Brenda. "Brenda…" she whispered to the darkness.
She examined the darkened lines on her right cheek, and ran her fingers down them, as she had so many times before. She knew the scars better than she knew her own name, until now. Now she had a name, and a life, a fiancee: Jax. "Jax… Brenda and Jax…Jax and Brenda…"
She took a brush from the vanity and brushed her shampooed hair; she picked up a bottle of perfume, Deception, and smelled it, before spraying it carefully onto her neck. Removing the white terry cloth robe from its hook on the back of the door, she put it on, and headed out of the bathroom and back downstairs. She didn’t see Charles, so she headed back to the kitchen, and out the sliding glass doors to the pool and patio. The late October wind played with her nearly dry, curly hair, and when she closed her eyes, she could feel a strong pair of arms holding her on the edge of the pool, "on the edge of the universe."
Charles entered the kitchen, having put Brenda’s clothes in the wash, and was startled to see the patio door open. He was relieved to see Brenda standing on the edge of the pool, studying the reflection of the heavens on the water. "I spoke to Mr. Jacks. He’s on his way; he’ll be here as soon as he can. You’re not thinking of leaving, are you, Miss Barrett?" Brenda turned around, smiling, with the knowledge that Jax, her fiancee, would be arriving soon. "No, I’m not leaving, Charles…I’m not leaving, Jax. Nobody leaves."
Charles left her alone in the night air, and the phrase burned on her lips. She didn’t know how long she had been standing there, repeating over and over again, "Nobody leaves…Nobody leaves…Nobody leaves….Nobody…." Brenda stopped mid-sentence, and turning from the ocean, found herself lost in an entirely different sea of blue and green and gray, lost in the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.
slowly-softly
please serenade me
i’m here
restless-reviving-river of life
you are here
Jax’s breath caught in his throat, as he saw her turn toward him. In his bathrobe, with the night air toying with her dark curls, it was as though the last few months had never happened. He didn’t even notice the tears streaming down his face until her fingers brushed them away....
tell me you love me
tell me you see me
show me your laughter
feed me
tell me you love me
i’m the one you need
raise your hand &
reach for me
His face fit perfectly in her bandaged hand, and as he pulled Brenda into his embrace, she realized she fit perfectly there, too. She felt his tears rain down on her, and before she knew what was happening, she was crying, too.
silent-slumber-sweetheart
your thunder is my thorn
bathing-beauty-ballad of bliss
you were born
She ached for this man, this Jax, and as he released her from his embrace, she felt the acute sense of loss that she knew was magnified a million times in his heart. This time, his hand made its way to her cheek, and in his touch, in his arms, in his heart, she knew she had found a home.
tell me you love me
tell me you see me
show me your laughter
feed me
tell me you love me
i’m the one you need
raise your hand &
reach for me
In the instant Jax’s hand left her face, she longed for his touch again. But her wish was granted soon enough, when his lips took over where his hands had been, and the feelings of complete and total bliss, harmony, and peace stirring within Brenda, only caused more tears to spill from her eyes. As she gazed up at this man, at Jax, he looked back at her, and beyond her eyes, she was sure, and straight into her heart and her soul: places she didn’t even know, but places where she knew he dwelled.
pretty-precious-prism
in darkness you make me proud
fragile-fumbling-finally
a new day we have found
His eyes trailed down her face, and rested on her soft, full lips, upturned in a feline smile. Jax took her chin in his hand, thrilled at the feel of her soft, smooth skin, and here, at Malibu, bathed in moonlight, she was as irresistible as ever. Slowly he tilted her head upwards, and brought his hungry mouth down upon her, aching for the taste of her. Brenda’s hand found its way to the back of his neck, where her fingers wound through the golden tendrils that rested there. Her lips parted, and she moaned softly as he deepened the kiss, and awakened feelings in Brenda that were at the very edge of her consciousness. Jax’s arms encircled her waist, and his hands were lost in her dark hair, as his senses were overwhelmed with the miracle that had found her way back to his heart, and now back to his embrace.
tell me you love me
tell me you see me
show me your laughter
feed me
tell me you love me
i’m the one you need
raise your hand & reach for me
(Song Credits: "reach" written by: Idina Menzel and Milton Davis, can be found on Idina’s debut album: "still i can’t be still")