Chapter 51
B - "Jason what are you talking about?"
J - "Why don’t you sit down. Please?" she warily walked to him and sat down.
"Sonny has nightmares," she swung her head in his direction looking both
worried and concerned "he dreams of you dying in that hospital." She tries to
interrupt but he doesn’t allow it, "He saw you dead that night."
B - "Jason that’s ridiculous, I’m not dead." She says annoyed.
J - "I can see that." He said softly "But that doesn’t change the fact that he
thinks you are."
B - "That’s impossible. What about the Dear Jane note?" she asks quickly,
groping for some kind of reality.
J - He shrugs "I don’t know but I’ll find out."
B - "This isn’t your problem Jason, leave it alone."
J - "It is my problem, Sonny is my best friend and your his wife."
B - "No, this doesn’t change anything." She said firmly still not sure whether
to believe the unbelievable.
J - "Why do you talk like that?" he interrupts.
B - "Like what?"
J - "That accent, it sounds like a movie that Robin dragged me to once."
B - "Habit."
J - "Oh, well can you stop, it reminds me of Jax."
B - "Fine," she clears her throat then resumes with only a trace still present
"anyway as I was trying to say, if what you say it true and he did see me
*dead*, what makes him think I was murdered?" she asks confused.
J - "Do you remember anything about that night?"
B - "Bits and pieces, it’s still hazy even after all these years, plus it
isn’t one of my more pleasant memories so I’m glad to forget it."
J - "Can you tell me what you do remember?"
B - "Why?"
J - "Humor me okay?" he said and grimaced "Damn Sonny always said she was the
stubborn one." He muttered under his breath.
B - "What?"
J - "Ah, nothing. Just talking to myself."
B - "What do you want to know?"
J - "Anything."
B - She slumped back and let her mind drift back in time, then began to speak
in a soft voice. "I remember the pain, and Sonny’s face, and the feeling that
something was dreadfully wrong. I was really worried about him because I had
that feeling that something was going to go bad.
J - "What feeling?"
B - "This weird feeling I get sometimes." She paused a minute and tried to
come up with a better way to explain. "Remember when Sonny was shoot up?" he
nods "That feeling, like he was in trouble and needed my help."
J - "Okay." He says nodding but not quite understanding "What else?"
B - "I can’t really remember much about labor since they drugged me up pretty
good and then made Sonny leave the room, I could still hear him calling me but
I couldn’t go to him. I thought I heard crying at one point but the doctors
assured me that wasn’t possible and then I don’t remember anything about the
next few days until I woke up, alone."
J - "Why such a long time?"
B - "They.." her voice shook "they had to sedate me after they told me about,"
she paused and tried to compose herself "they had to drug me so I would
sleep."
J - "For several days?" he asks disbelieving.
B - "I don’t know Jason. I never thought to ask, what I do know is that when
I woke up I was alone, Sonny was gone. The only thing left was that note and
my engagement ring which had been locked in the hospital safe, even my wedding
ring was gone." She added in a whisper while brushing her thumb against the
base of her ring finger feeling for the platinum band that had been missing
for years.
J - "Sonny has it." He said quietly.
B - "What?" she said absently not paying attention to what he was saying.
J - "Never mind. What about the doctor, the people at the hospital, what did
they call you?"
B - "Eva, Eva Carruthers, why?"
J - "They never called you Brenda?"
B - "No, why would…wait a minute." She squeezed her eyes shut and
concentrated.
J - "What?" he pressured.
B - "Dr. Donatello, he called me Brenda once, I even asked him about it."
J - "What did he say?"
B - "Exactly?" he nods. "I’m not sure, something about me asking to be
called that when I was in delivery."
J - "Did you?"
B - "I’m not sure."
J - "You said his name was Donatello?"
B - "Yes."
J - "A Marco Donatello signed your death certificate." He told her quietly.
B - "WHAT!"
J - "That who I went to Italy to find."
B - "No, he was my friend." She says shaking her head "He and his family
helped me when I was released from the hospital."
J - "He knew who you really were." He said gently.
B - "No, no he didn’t." she said adamantly.
J - "He called Sonny ‘Mr. Corinthos’, how else could he have know that?"
B - "He, he.." she stuttered trying to come up with a valid reason "I don’t
know Jason, how could he?"
J - "I’m not sure but I am going to find out."
B - "What is going on here?"
J - "I don’t know, but what I do know is that Sonny needs to know your alive."
B - "No!"
J - "After everything I’ve just told you, you still don’t want to tell him the
truth?" he asked shocked.
B - "He’s better off Jason."
J - "What are you talking about? He thinks it’s his fault that your dead!" he
practically shouts.
B - "But he’s gone on with his life Jason, now I have to go on with mine.
Knowing he’s happy will have to be enough."
J - "Your crazy, he loves you, he misses you, he still mourns you. I know you
feel the same, you can’t lie to me."
B - "Your right, I love Sonny it’s just a fact of my life. I’ve loved him for
ten years, but do you know that in the ten years we’ve loved one another we
have only managed to spend less than three of them together? We just couldn’t
make it and now that I’ve seen him and I know that he is alive and happy I
want him to stay that way."
J - "Then your not looking close enough."
B - She closed her eyes and recalled the kiss they’d shared the other night,
along with the sadness she had glimpsed in his eyes from time to time, but she
shook it away. She wanted so desperately to believe everything that Jason had
said, but she had built a new life around what she believed to be true and if
everything was a lie where did that leave her, who would she be? She led a
different life now, it had changed 360 degrees and there was no way she could
go back to being a cover girl, her life was so different, could Sonny ever
love the person she was now? She didn’t know, she wasn’t sure, so she had to
protect herself. "I saw him with her Jason, their happy and their going to
have a baby." She said painfully.
J - "What the h*ll are you talking about?"
B - "Julia."
J - "Julia? What about her?" he asked confused.
B - "She’s pregnant."
J - "So?"
B - "Sonny won’t leave her."
J - "Yeah, he cares about her, she’s your sister."
B - "I saw them together at Luke’s."
J - "So?" he repeats.
B - "Jason quit being so obtuse, they are together and happy and soon Julia
will have Sonny’s child." She said loudly.
J - "Brenda, Julia is pregnant, pregnant with her husbands child."
B - She sucked in a deep breath, pain slicing through her then scrambled to
get up to get away, "I have to go." She said hurriedly.
J - He watched her face intently "Jake didn’t tell you?" he asked her
curiously.
B - "What’s Jake got to do with this?"
J - "Jake and Julia are married."
B - "Julia and JAKE?" she said dropping back down.
J - "You heard me."
B - "What about Julia and Sonny."
J - "There is no Julia and Sonny. They love each other sure, but not in the
way you mean, they share a common bond and that’s what brought them together."
B - "What?"
J - "You." He answered simply.
B - She sat there stunned not knowing what to think, her thoughts, her
emotions, everything mixed up. She shook her head trying to clear it "I’ve
got to go." She mumbled.
J - "Wait!" he said placing a hand on her arm as they both stood "I’ll take
you to Sonny."
B - "No, no." she told him shaking him off.
J - "Why?" he asked completely confused.
B - "I’m not going to tell him." She answered unable to look at him.
J - "Even after everything I’ve told you?" he replied incredulously.
B - "Jason, we lead separate lives now. I’m a different person, I have a life
and so does he."
J - "But look at you, look at your life." He says tilting her chin up so that
he could look into her eyes "You are alone, you have no family, no home, and
no friends. Sure you’ve changed, I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to
figure that out, look at what you’ve made of yourself, you put your life on
the line daily, you don’t care about living or dying, I know how that feels
remember? You’ve given yourself a complete makeover turning yourself into a
new person, but there’s one thing that hasn’t changed and won’t ever change,
you love Sonny."
B - She turned her head, pulling her chin from his grasp "Do you know that you
once told me that if I reigned in all my passion and energy there was nothing
I couldn’t do or be.?"
J - "I said that?" he said with a smile.
B - "A long time ago."
J - "Pretty smart."
B - "Yeah it was, and you were right. I did and now I’m someone that I can be
proud of. I always wanted to do something that mattered, something more than
standing nice and pretty in front of a camera all day long, now I do, now I
make a difference. Everything that Sonny and you tried to protect me from I
made myself a part of. I understand and I know just how ugly and dangerous it
is, I understood the risks but it was something that I had to do. Do you
understand what I am saying, I am not that naïve, vulnerable, scared woman
that I was. I don’t need to be protected or sheltered anymore, I can protect
myself."
J - "Your scared. Your scared Sonny won’t love you."
B - She froze at his words, at the same thoughts that were present in her
head, thoughts that she was afraid to voice. Jason had always been extremely
astute and he had managed to read between the lines, she was a new person, she
had changed, grown stronger, aged, matured, and she didn’t know if Sonny could
love the new and improved version. "I have to go." She whispered as she
backed away.
J - "Brenda?" she stopped and looked up at him "If you stopped and gave
yourself and Sonny a chance you might find out that your life isn’t as lonely
or as empty as you think it is." She just looked at him but didn’t reply.
"You have until tomorrow, if you don’t tell him I will."
B - "Jason just let it go."
J - "I can’t and neither can you. I love him and I can’t watch him drown in
the pain and guilt another day."
B - "Goodbye Jason." Those were the last words she uttered before she slipped
into the darkness and walked away.
Chapter 52
Brenda walked aimlessly around the waterfront for over an hour before she
finally made her way back to the car. As she approached she noticed someone
sitting on the hood smoking a cigarette.
B - "Those things will kill you." She said neutrally as she approached.
T - "I know." He replied taking another drag.
B - "Trey," She said warningly "give it to me." she held out her hand, he
looked at her then took one last puff before reluctantly handing it over. She
held it for a moment then dropped it to the ground, crushing it out with her
boot.
T - "Ahh Brie." He whined.
B - "What are you doing out here?"
T - "Waiting for you. I was worried when you took off towards the docks."
B - "Isn’t that supposed to work the other way around?" he shrugged "Well
don’t worry I’m fine, I can take care of myself."
T - "You gonna tell me why Jason Morgan followed you?" she looked up swiftly
and watched as he casually pulled another cigarette from his ratty jacket.
B - "Not if you light that thing up." She replied, he hesitated then shoved it
back into his pocket. Brenda smiled and climbed up next to him, the metal was
cold but she didn’t notice, she just sat there and watched him. He was so
much like Stone had been, but shown kindness and trust and most important a
little love he would do anything for you. He leaned back against the
windshield watching her watch him and waited for her to speak. "You know
about him? " she finally said.
T - "Who doesn’t." he replied carelessly.
B - "You steer clear of him, you hear." He didn’t respond, just continued to
watch her "Who am I kidding your gonna do what you want anyway." She sighed.
T - "Jason Morgan is not a bad person."
B - "I know." She nods.
T - "How?"
B - She hesitated a moment "A long time ago he was my friend." then paused
before continuing quietly, "He is also my husbands best friend."
J - He jerked upright, this had been the last thing he had expected hear.
"What do you mean? Your married?" he asked in disbelief, she nodded and
smiled sadly. He sits silently for a minute, thinking "Wait a minute, Jason
Morgan doesn’t have many friends, ones a woman, two are married, and the other
is.." his voice trailed off and he looked at her stunned before finishing in a
whisper "Sonny Corinthos. Sonny Corinthos is his best friend."
B - "Yes." She answered simply.
T - "Your married to Sonny Corinthos?"
B - "Yes." She repeats.
T - "Your kidding?" she shakes her head, "Your not?"
B - "Nope."
T - "Oh man, this is weird, how long have you been married and why aren’t you
with him? Wait a minute you live above his club, why don’t you live with
him?" he asks all at once.
B - She held up her hand and managed to grin at his youthful curiosity "One
question at a time okay?" he nods "Sonny and I have been married for six and a
half years."
T - "What!" he yelps.
B - "My name isn’t really Brianna, it’s Brenda - Brenda Barrett Corinthos."
She tells him softly.
T - "But she’s dead!" He blurts out.
B - "So I’ve been told." She answers, sitting back and staring off into space.
T - "Your really her?"
B - "Yes really."
T - "Why does everyone think your dead?"
B - "I’m not sure."
T - "Wow this is so cool." She looks at him and quirks her eyebrow, he just
shrugs "Well it is kinda weird, I used to see her, I mean your, pictures as a
kid."
B - "Gee thanks, you just made me feel really old." She says giving him a
genuine smile.
T - "You know what I mean." He waved of his hand "That long dark hair and
eyes, they were incredible, and what a body, oh wow!" he mumbles and looks at
her, then blushes and ducks his chin muttering an embarrassed, "Sorry."
B - "No problem." She smiles fondly.
T - He looks at her again, "What happened, you look so different. Don’t get
me wrong your still one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen," he adds
hastily "but you don’t look the same. Your hair and eyes are different and
that little thing," he points to the side of his mouth "is gone."
B - "Hair dye and a pair of contacts can work wonders. That plus a little
minor surgery and ta-da meet Brianna DeAmonte."
T - "Wow, in one of my foster homes I had your picture tacked up on the wall.
That was you?"
B - "That was me." she replied quietly.
T - "Wow." He repeats and leaned back again, "What happened?"
B - "Life?" she shrugs
T - "Why does everyone think your dead?"
B - "I’m not sure."
T - "But you gonna find out, right?"
B - "I don’t know."
T - "What do you mean, don’t you want to know the truth?" she shrugged "What
about Corinthos does he know?"
B - "I don’t think so." She whispers and closed her eyes tilting her head back
against the cool glass.
T - "Your at least gonna tell him right? He is your husband."
B - "I know." She answers her eyes still closed.
T - "You two were a legend, the mobster and the model, I remember seeing it in
the paper."
B - "Trey." She says lifting her head and attempting to break in, but he
continued excitedly.
T - "Your wedding, man your wedding even made the front page, security was so
tight that there were helicopters and photographers around for days scrambling
to get a picture, and you were kidnapped by some crazy guy and Sonny saved
you, and you…"
B - "Trey!" she said rubbing her temples, "Enough already."
T - "Sorry, I just don’t get it. You two disappeared without a trace, there
was even some speculation that you were both dead, gunned down in some mob
hit." He rattled oblivious to her silence "But then Corinthos popped back into
town a couple years ago without you, what on earth happened?" he finished and
turned to look at her.
B - "I’m not sure." She sighed.
T - "This is amazing I am sitting here with a real live supermodel. Should I
ask for an autograph or something?"
B - "No, definitely not."
T - "Oh." He replied sounding a little disappointed "What are you going to
do?"
B - She shrugged "I’ve got to go." She said and leaned over to kiss his cheek
before jumping down from the hood.
T - "Are you still leaving?" he asks getting down also.
B - "I think that’s best. Take care okay?" She says giving him big hug and
backing away, opening the door to get in. She turned the key and waved she
drove off, leaving him standing there straight and tall watching someone else
drive out of his life.
Brenda drove automatically, her mind working swiftly, what on earth was going
on, everything was unraveling in front of her eyes, her new life, her new
identity fading. Should she stay in the town she loved, in the only place
where she felt she belonged, daring to explore the past and possible a future
with a man she still loved, or should she leave? Every learned instinct in
her screamed to leave, leave and continue to live a life she had built for
herself, a life that was safe and free of love, a life she could control.
What was she going to do?
Chapter 53
It was 5:00 in the morning when Brenda made her way quietly down the hall past
Gage’s bedroom, she paused at the door considering whether to knock or not and
decided against it, she hadn’t set foot in that room since she had packed up
and moved out after Sonny had kicked her out and she didn’t want to do so now.
She walked into the bathroom checking to see if she had left anything behind,
both good and bad memories assaulted her as she remembered long showers
together, playful water fights, and a cascade of broken glass. She blinked
back the memories then went towards the kitchen, the kitchen where he had
*shown* her how to wash strawberries, the table where they’d spent many
romantic dinners and leisurely breakfasts. The living room where they had
both finally revealed how they felt about one another, the couch they made
love on, the stereo that had played their music while they had slowly danced
to it. There was no end to them, both the good and bad, the room was just
overflowing with memories, she straightened her shoulders and looked around
once more before walking to the window seat and sitting down, watching as
sunrise approached the horizon and skimmed over the sleepy town below. She
got up slowly and walked towards the front door, reaching down as she went to
grab a worn duffel bag in each hand, then opened the door letting herself out,
locking it and the memories behind her. She had decided to move on.
Down the stairs and across the empty parking lot she walked, not taking the
time for one last look at the inside of Luke’s, not wishing to revisit any
more of the past. She unlocked the back door of the car and threw in her bags
before climbing into the front seat, she sat there taking one last look at
Luke’s watching as the first rays of sunlight hit and reflected off the
upstairs window. She slowly exhaled the breath she had been holding,
accelerated, and drove out of the parking lot. At the stop sign she sat for a
minute then glanced at the clock on the dash which read 5:18, still hours
before her plane took off, she shook her head and muttered to herself, then
looked right then left out over the deserted streets before firmly turning the
wheel and heading north, driving away from the fading lights of Port Charles.
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