Brenda's Dreams

This is my adaptation of “Out of a Dream” by Diana Stuart.

Chapter 20

Brenda entered the living room and headed straight towards the door, not once
glancing in Jax’s direction.

Jax watched as Brenda walked into the living room. She never glanced at him as
she walked to the door. His heart was pounding with pain. He couldn’t let her
leave.

Brenda paused a minute before opening the door and stepping out of Jax’s life
forever. Her heart was breaking.

“Brenda,” Jax whispered as he grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face
him.

Brenda refused to look at him. She kept her eyes focused on the floor.

"Brenda," Jax repeated again, only louder.

Brenda still refused to look at him. Jax reached up and caressed the edge of her
jaw until he reached her chin. He then tipped her head up so that she could
look at him.

"Please, Jax, just let me go. Let me go before you shatter what's left of my heart."
A single tear fell down her check.

Seeing the tear fall, Jax again felt guilty about the way he had reacted to her
talking to Sonny so he released her.

Brenda had silently wished that he would press the issue and make her stay. She
knew it was over and that she had to get out of his presence. She couldn't bear to
let him see her breakdown. She stepped forward to leave.

Jax watched Brenda step forward, his heart constricting in pain. How could he
stop her from leaving? What could he say?

Brenda reached the doorway and turned to tell Jax good-bye and wish him well.
Her voice caught in her throat. How did she say good-bye to him?

Jax watched her turn back towards him. More tears fell from her chocolate eyes.
He stepped towards her. “Brenda, I’m sorry. Please don’t go back to San
Francisco.”

“Jax, I can’t stay here.”

Jax reached her side and stopped. “Please Brenda, stay.”

Brenda reached up to wipe her tears away. “I can’t”

“Yes, you can,” Jax said as he enclosed his hands around her wrists.

Brenda tried to pull away, but Jax held onto her. “Jax, please I can’t stay here.”

“Brenda, I’m sorry. I just got so jealous of Sonny. Just thought of him touching
you makes my skin crawl.”

Brenda looked up at him. Sad brown eyes met sad blue/green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Jax said again before lowering his head and brushing his lips
with hers.

At first, Brenda resisted his kiss, but then she wrapped her arms around his neck
and returned it. Their tongues danced together as the kiss deepened.

Brenda felt the bond between them form. A bond that she had thought she
imagined and hadn’t expected to feel again. This fragile bond showed her his
need as clearly as though it was her own. In a way it *was* her own, mirrored.

She was too caught up in the magic of his kiss to fear the mystery binding them
together. Never had she wanted a man like she wanted Jax, not even Sonny.
Never had she felt desire so acute she thought she might die if it wasn’t satisfied.
Clothes were a burden she resented; they separated her from Jax. She slid her
hands under his shirt to caress his warm skin, to draw him closer.

His fingers slipped under her shirt and stroked the sides of her breasts, making her
breath catch. She had to feel his touch all over; she couldn’t bear to wait. As
though reading her mind, he eased her away from him, grasped the edge of her
shirt and pulled it over her head.

He touched her then with his fingertips and she moaned with needful pleasure.
His gaze swept from her chest to her face, and when she looked into his eyes she
saw the wonder and desire in their aquamarine depths.

He tore off his shirt and pulled her against him, chest to chest. His hands cupped
her bottom, thrusting her against his arousal as his lips closed over hers in a kiss
that left her helpless with desire.

Jax picked her up, walked down the hall and into the master bedroom where he
eased her onto the waterbed before turning on a bedside lamp, and stripping the
rest of his clothes away. When he stood naked before her, the beauty of his body
and the intensity of his need took her breath away.

Deftly he removed the rest of her clothes, looking down at her for a moment. His
mouth formed a word.

“Lovely.”

She understood it as clearly as if he’d spoken aloud. There was no need to speak.
The bond between them told her he found her beautiful, just as he knew she
thought he was. She was urgently aware of the wild need bringing them together
and both were eager to fulfill that demanding desire.

Nothing in the world meant more to her then Jax. She held out her arms and he
came to lie beside her. She closed her eyes to savor the feel of him as they laid
side by side.

“Look at me,” he whispered.

Brenda opened her eyes and met the gleaming blue/green of his. Everything she
ever wanted, ever dreamed of, showed in his eyes. We belong together, they told
her. Forever.

Jax pulled her into his arms. His kisses trailed down from her lips along her
throat and lower. His hands stroked the curves of her hips, the softness of her
thighs. He journeyed with her beyond thought, and they became beings of pure
sensation, rising on a great wave of rapturous wonder evoked by the meeting of
lips and flesh.

Beneath her the water of the bed shifted like a caress, accommodating each
movement. The hot scent of their mingled desire swirled in her head. She tasted
his mouth, the intoxicating salt flavor of his skin and she knew she would never
have enough of him.

They were one. He would take her, and she would take him where neither could
go alone, to the golden and shining place that belonged only to them.

The wave crested, foamed into shattering beauty and slowly, slowly dissolved,
carrying them to a shared peace.

Before she slept, Brenda, curled beside Jax, his arm holding her against his side,
realized that until now she’d never known the true meaning of making love.