Lance Mexner

Mike Olsen

Tom

All quiet on the galatic front

Red squad one, which consisted of Lance, Mike O, and Tom were now being pushed back against Mikes forces of cloned blue spartans. Red squad was definately at a disadvantage, thinking that because they had greater weapons that they could easily be dropped off the ship and take the blues out easily. However the leader of the blue team had a great idea which could easily render all of red teams strategies inert. He sent hundreds upon hundreds of his own team members into battle without any weapons at all.

Blue Team Captain: Sir do you think the strategy really worked?

Mike N: Why of course it worked idiot! The plan was to send as many of our warriors as possible towards them. See the weapons they have are defective. Once they run out of bullets, they wont work! So its like saying they have a kill limit! Once they kill a certain number of our men, they'll run out of bullets and thats when we'll get 'em.. Anyways, we got a hold of their rocket launchers now, so taking them out should be more than easy.

On the red end's of this battle, Leader of the red team, Lance was now devising a plan in which he could give his team a small chance in winning.

Lance: Okay olsen, this is what I want you to do, I want you to go out there and scout the area and look for their leader. Once you find him, scope him out with the sniper and take him out. Report through the radio immediately after locating him.

Mike O: Sir I dont think this is such a good idea, I mean.. How can I, one man get through the defenses of hundreds of enemy forces?

Lance: Tom cover your ears

[Tom covers his ears with his hands]

Lance: Okay Mike, now I know you know Ive never believed in you! [pause] Not even for a moment! Now is your chance to prove yourself!

Mike O: Okay sir, if you're sure its for the good of the team.

Lance: Get out there and make me proud!

[5 Minutes Later]

Mike reports back through his radio

Mike: Sir ive found the target, and Ive got him on scope. The circle thingy on the scope turned red, what should I do?

Lance: Fire you idiot, that means you got him locked!

Mike fires the shot, and gets what he thinks to be his target right in the head

Mike O: Booyah! Headshot, he got owned.

Lance: Good job report back to base.

Mike O: Huh whats that? Oh my stars and garters! They're coming at us captain! They've got our location and theyve got our rocket launcher!

Lance and Tom quickly sprint into action, quickly locating Mike and they soon find cover.

Mike N: We've got you surrounded red team, your lackey missed his target and instead hit one of my men. All members on my blue squad are clones of myself. Hot diggity! I knew cloning myself would pay off!

Lance peeks up from under the rock which him and his team are hiding under, and takes a quick look to see if his nemesis says is true, he then quickly hides himself again.

Lance: Holy buckets! He's right! They're all clones and they all look alike! Its like fighting an army of asians!

Mike O: Sir I think he is asian.. and well.. Clones are supposed to look identical.

Lance: Private O! This isnt the time for technicalities or instigation! Now anyways, ive come up with another plan in which might save us. Olsen! Cover your ears!

[Mike O proceeds to cover his ears with his hands]

Lance: Okay Tom, now I know you know Ive never believed in you! [pause] Not even for a moment! Now is your chance to prove yourself!

Tom: What can I do sir?

Lance: Okay, the leader of the blue team has a big rocket launcher and he's pointing it straight at us! So what I want you to do is get out from under this rock and run straight at him! When he blows you up, try to get the dismembered parts of your body to clogg his rocket launcher!

Tom: ..... um. So if I survive does this mean ill get a honorable discharge from the service AND get my retirement benefits? I know microsoft promised me a 401K plan, but after they went to court for monopolization I just dont know how secure I feel about it anymore..

Lance: What? Dude just get out there, trust me on this.

Tom runs out from under the rock with a bloody war cry as he sprints full speed towards the enemy forces. A rocket soon trails his path and his body is blown into several pieces, which conicidentally clogs the guns of several blue forces. Tom's scream is heard for miles and echoes all around the battlefield.

Lance: Okay okay olsen, thats the signal! Lets go see if the plan worked.

Tom: Sir! Im still alive! Its just that my torso, organs and legs have been blown apart. I think I can still make it!

Lance: Come on olsen! Lets not let Tom's sacrifice goto waste!

Lance looks up underneath the rock again, to inspect if his plan had worked

Lance: Hot diggity! They're guns are clogged with Toms appendages! Nows our chance!

Tom: No seriously captain, I think I can still make it! With all this future technology im sure they piece together my body or give me a shiny mechanical one in which I can use! Ive seen it! In star wars! I can liiivvee!!

Lance: Red team go!

Both Lance and Mike rush out onto the battlefield, with guns blazing, taking out enemy troops all over. Using their animalistic instincts to survive in the heat of battle, and because they're enemies weapons were now rendered useless, it was a quick massacre. After the battle both Mike and Lance were sent home, both receiving many medals and honors, and both were sent home.

Lance headed to the residence of his old dead comrade, where he visited Toms parents.

Lance: Mrs. Toms mom, I have some news to tell you

Mrs Toms Mom: What is it? Where is my boy?

Lance: Im sorry Mrs. Toms Mom, but your boy he died in battle. But dont worry, he died a heroes death, his organs provided enough material to clog the guns of the enemy, and his stomach juices were enough to melt the metal armor on the blue teams skin. His screams of pain and agony were enough to stun the enemy and shock them long enough for us to attack. It was a very memorable event, in which I am strongly touched.

[Pause]

Im sorry Mrs. Toms Mom but all this talk about blood and guts has made me very nostalgic, Ill have to take my leave now.

Lance, being satisfied with a full explanation of what had happened to Mrs. Toms Mom's son, was now content with himself. He went on with his regular life in the military, and eventually retired as head general of the Red team army.