9 Prime Directive? We don't need no stinking Prime Directive!

8 It will be revealed that the new captain is one of Mudd's Women.

7 The original script named the captain Ginger, and the first mate Gilligan.

6 Delta Quadrant, there goes the neighborhood.

5 It's just another claim on the Starfleet Shipyards.

4 The new first officer (Native American and former terrorist just found out the captain is a descendant of Custer.

3 The holographic doctor is a leftover from the Clinton healthcare plan.

2 They might get home. Remember what happened the last time a craft named Voyager came home (it spawned a terrible movie .

1 The defense systems are controlled by a Pentium processor.