And I Hate You So

by VanillaMint

VM: yes, I stole the title…=p

His long thin fingers turned the page of the magazine, his eyes slowly reading the vertical lines as the stereo set pounded away in the corner. It was 9.45 on a tranquil Saturday night, one of those rare times when he didn’t need to attend rehearsals, recordings, tours, lives, photo sessions, interviews, parties, etc…and hell, was Shinya bored.

He scratched the back of his head, yawning. Maybe he should turn in early tonight, get a good night’s rest(which was -rare-)…he glanced at the clock ticking away on the wall then at his mobile phone lying on the black-tinted glass table before him.

No messages to reply, no missed calls to check…

What a dull boring life Shinya has…the sentence poked out of his head in a familiar voice…hai, it’s that familiar deep, husky yet smooth voice… manly voice??? No! Irritating, annoying voice!!!(oro, guess who…^v~)

Shinya nearly banged his handphone on the table. He got up abruptly and stormed to his bedroom, forgetting to off the music blaring in the hall. It was playing his own ‘Yurameki’ as he was brushing his teeth. By the time he washed his face and all, the stereo was playing Die’s ‘304 goushitsu, hanakura no sakura’.

Lips twitching to one side, Shinya quickly slipped out and killed the music with a cruel end. He huffed.

Don’t think of him.

Shinya dropped onto the black leather couch. He closed his eyes.

Yes, sleep…forget about Die…

Die, the redhead guitarist of the band, with sharp piercing eyes and a witty mind, insulting tongue, big mouthed joker with charming smiles that could melt icebergs and…-

Stop it!!!

" Aah!!!" Shinya clapped his hands over his ears as if to shut out those Die-ful thoughts. "Iie!" He shook his head.

He remained on the couch, calming himself down. But suddenly the shrillness of the doorbell ruined the tranquillity. His eyes rolled to the door before his legs got up and walked over to it. Cautiously, he peered through the little peephole. He sucked in a breath as crimson hair greeted him. Can it be…?

No! No!

There was another knock.

Gulping, he unlatched the door and creaked it open an inch.

Die smiled, seeing Shinya’s head peeping out.

"What?" Shinya asked, sounding rather defensive.

" You’re not asleep yet, are you?"

" No, but I’m going to sleep now." Shinya relaxed, opening the door more.

" Die’s eyebrow arched up. "Now? A little early no? Let’s go out for a drink!" the redhead invited.

Shinya hesitated. "Iie, you always make me drunk! Ask someone else!" he replied.

Die’s face visibly fell in disappointment. "But I’m already here!" he insisted. "Just a few beers…it’s a Saturday night!"

Shinya bit his lip as his eyes moved from the welcome mat to Die’s boots. "Ano…"

" Come on!"

" Eh…cold ne…"

" Aww, toughen up, drummer boy!" Die coaxed him. "Besides, you’ll feel warm enough after a couple of drinks!"

" Um, well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt…"

" Yatta!" Die beamed with joy.

" Gimme a minute," the younger man said and closed the door, dashing to the closet for a change of clothes.

Outside, Die lit a Salem, puffing on it as he leaned against the white wall, waiting. Smoking wasn’t permitted inside the building but it was just a quick smoke…hell, he probably won’t get to smoke the whole night while he’s with Shinya! He had stubbed the cigarette out by the time Shinya reappeared, bundled up in his jacket and scarf. He flashed a cheesy grin at the drummer and offered his arm(how gentleman-ly…-VM). Shinya slapped his hand away.(^^;;)

Die pouted comically. "Mou…My cars parked downstairs. Let’s go!!!"

***

" I thought you meant a drink at a pub or something?!?!" Shinya snapped. He stuffed his freezing hands into his pockets as he gritted his teeth against the cold night air.

" It’s more fun this way!" Die said, splaying the big piece of red cloth over the grass.

" Drinking in a park?! On a winter’s night?!!??! Die, I’d say it’s less than 2ºc now and I’m cold, damn it!!!"

The redhead pouted at the fuming drummer. Then a sly smile sneaked over his lips. "Then I’ll warm you up eh…!"

" Crazy!!!" Shinya rolled his eyes but his face pinked subsequently. Why must Die make such comments?! Shinya hoped the lack of light in the park hid his embarrassing blush…

" Heh, Shin-chan! Come sit down!" the older man patted on the cloth. "Your face is already all flushed! So fast!"

Shinya cupped his cheeks. "It -is- cold," he excused.

Die had brought two six packs from his car. He took out two cans and handed one to Shinya. Die opened his can and took a swig. "Aah…" He looked up at the night sky, bright stars dotted the vast blackness like little diamonds. "The sky’s beautiful tonight!" he exhaled.

Shinya had to agree as he admired it, sipping his beer quietly. He pursed his lips together into a thin line and shifted his gaze to his hands; they were slim and graceful(like a girl’s, Shinya thought disdainfully) and numbed from cold. Stealing a glance at Die who was still looking into the sky, he wondered what made Die seem so much like a man.

Of course he was taller, bigger size, more muscular, not delicately shaped as himself…

I play the drums, shouldn’t I be the one with muscles?!

Shinya frowned.

Admit it, Die is a man…

Shinya poured the beer down his throat.

I want to puke, Shinya told himself. Unconsciously, he stuck his tongue out.(^^;;)

" What’s wrong with you?" Die poked him in his ribs.

Shinya shrieked, smacking his hand away. "I’m okay!"

" No, you’re not okay…alone at home on a Saturday night…all alone…so lonely…"

Die’s words ate at him.

" I am not lonely!"

" Ne, I can see it in your face," Die teased him. "I guess those lonesome nights made you this defensive, unsociable, closed up…" he sighed exaggeratedly. "We won’t blame you, Shinya, we won’t."

" Shut up, Die!" he yelled at him. "You’re not much better! Alone too!"

" Who says I’m alone, Shin-chan?" Die asked him. "You think I’m alone…?"

Shinya kept quiet bitterly. That’s right, who ever said Die was alone?

No one.

He has somebody ne…somebody to keep him company, somebody to talk and laugh with, somebody to love and to be loved by…

Shinya downed the can of beer, reaching for another.

I don’t have anybody. No one…I’m lonely…? I had been lonely for a long time now… but now I’m lonely and I’m in love…

***

And I Hate You So(Pt2)

" Aah, Shinya!!! Stop!!!" Die gasped but it was too late. Water splashed all over as he landed, rained on by the sprinkling water above him. His red hair was matted to his head as he spluttered like a fish. He could hear a drunken, hysterical, drunken giggle…

" Shinya!!!" he growled. "I will kill you!!!"

Shinya laughed at the drenched redhead standing in the fountain of the park. Die jumped out and chased after the drummer who ran around the fountain to avoid him. "You can’t catch me!!!" he proclaimed in drunken highness before breaking out into a series of giggles.

" Oh yeah??" Die turned around and chased Shinya from the other direction. Too drunk too realise, Shinya ran straight into Die’s arms. "Caught ya!!!"

" Aaahhh!" Shinya screamed, struggling to free himself from the guitarist. "Let me go!"

Die tightened his hold around the young man. "I won’t!!! I’m taking revenge!"

A high-pitched shriek pierced the calm of the midnight park as they both tumbled down into the fountain, splashing into the water.

***

He sneezed. Sniffing, he rubbed his nose which was numb from the cold. And he was wet; his body shivered from the chilly air that clung to his wet body. Shinya grabbed an empty can of beer and threw it at Die’s head; the object accurately bounced of the older man’s forehead.

" Ouch! That was painful!" Die exclaimed, throwing the towel he found in his car boot. Shinya caught it and dried his face and hair. "You were the one who started it!"

" No, I wasn’t!" Shinya denied, taking off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt to wipe his chest. He hissed as the cold air contact his bare skin. "Your fault for starting a fight with me!"

" Huh? You were being stubborn!"

" You shouldn’t have teased me!!!"

"…"

Shinya took the silence as his victory, a smug smirk appearing on his face as he finish drying himself and put his clothes back on. Die, on the other hand, suffered with the cold, watching Shinya’s movements carefully. He eyed the way his nimble fingers did the buttons though Shinya was drunk, eyes slowly trailing to his neck, the delicate jaw line, the pout of his lips, the tinge of pink on his cheeks, the drunken glaze in his beautiful green eyes…

In his stupor, Die had moved close to Shinya, kneeling right next to him. Shinya cast his eyes up questioningly at the man. "Wha-…un…mm!!!!" Die cut his words off with his lips. Grabbing Shinya’s shoulders, he clutched him close as he deepened the kiss with his tongue.

Shinya uttered a muffled gasp, squirming at the intimate contact, his eyes wide in shock. But as a few moments pass, his eyes fluttered close and he melted in Die’s embrace. He tasted the mix of saliva and beer in his mouth… Too soon, Die broke the kiss, pulling away as he stared into the black orbs of Shinya’s eyes.

"You’re drunk," he told Die.

Shinya felt blood rising to his face as he closed the distance between them, pairing his lips with Die’s. He could feel Die tense up in surprise but then he also eagerly responded, kissing him hungrily. They were both breathless when the kiss ended.

" You’re drunk too," Die told the younger man.

" You were the one who made me drunk!" Shinya said and pushed the redhead away.

Die laughed, wrapping an arm around Shinya’s waist. "Because…" he ran a finger over Shinya’s lower lip. "…it makes you kiss me…"

" Go away! I hate you!!!" Shinya hissed into Die’s face.

Die made a smooching noise with his pouted lips which made Shinya cover his face with his hands. The redhead pried Shinya’s fingers off his face and continued teasing the drummer.

Two hours later, they arrived in Die’s apartment which was the nearest to the park after staggering by the sides of the road, clinging to each other for support. Shinya gladly stumbled into the warm space of Die’s dump of an apartment. He collapsed onto the floor in front of Die’s shoe rack, giggling drunkenly.

" Wai! Puppy!!!" he exclaimed and hugged Die’s leg.

" Hey!!! Is not!" Die grumbled, gathering the smaller sized man in his arms.

" Hmm? Ara? Why am I flying??" Shinya laughed to himself. "Ooo…" he looped his arms around Die’s neck, hugging him so tight it caused him to lose balance and tumble down onto the floor with Shinya. Shinya groaned, smacking Die on his head. "It hurts!!!"

" I hurt too!" Die replied, rubbing a spot on his forehead. His facial expression suddenly softened, seeing Shinya’s face of pain. He scooted near the drummer. "Ne, sorry…Where does it hurt?"

" I hate you; go away."

" You don’t mean that," Die said, leaning forward.

Shinya tensed as he felt Die’s breath on his neck. His eyes flicked up in uncertainty and they locked with Die’s. A blush rose over his cheeks and he quickly covered them with his palms, turning away. But Die seemed intent to look into his eyes and caught one of his wrists, whirling him to face him again.

" Shin-chan…" he whispered, straddling Shinya’s legs, pushing him up against the wall.

Shinya’s lips parted, letting out a gasp as Die pressed his lips over his. Die pushed his tongue into his mouth, sliding it along the smooth inside. Shinya closed his eyes and he felt Die lift his body up from the ground. When he opened his eyes again, he found himself being carried to the bed. His heartbeat was rapid and he thought he could hear it thudding against his ribcage.

" Die…Iie!" he said when Die pinned him down with his weight. "Mmph!!!!" Die sealed his lips with a kiss.

" Shinya, do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you!!!" he whispered huskily, showering feather-light kisses on Shinya’s face and neck. He buried his head in the younger man’s neck, inhaling the scent of his skin. So sweet…

" Die…" Shinya moaned, his fingers clutching around the redhead’s shoulder, pushing him away half-heartedly. "Nn…"

Die tore away his own jacket before attacking Shinya’s flinging it across the room. The drummer whimpered; he could feel Die’s hands moving over his chest, over his abdomen, his lips grazing the skin of his lips, his face, his neck…

His mind was in chaos, torn between logic and desire…

He wanted Die to touch him, to kiss him…to make love to him…

But it’s not correct; it’s wrong! Very wrong!

The top first few buttons became undone under Die’s fingers. Shinya trembled as Die licked his chest.

It’s wrong…

…but it felt so good…

He pursed his lips and shut his eyes tight, wanting to forget everything…Die’s lips covered over one of his nipples, sucking lightly, mumbling Shinya’s name, making Shinya gasp and moan at the same time. Salty tears crept from Shinya’s eyes.

" No…please stop, Die…" he cried meekly.

Die stopped as if hearing him but then continued nipping at the flesh of Shinya’s neck.

The shrill scream pierced the pleasant haze Die was in. He frowned. "Hn, what, Shin-chan?"

Shinya bit his trembling lower lip as he quickly slid out of Die’s arms. The redhead was still blur until a pillow hit him hard on the head.

" Ow!!! What?!"

" You…!!!" Shinya gritted his teeth.

Die blinked at him and Shinya blinked back. Then Die yawned. "Okay, okay, whatever, let’s sleep okay?" Die conveniently plopped himself down on Shinya and snuggled against his neck. The younger man was about to protest but stopped as he felt the comfortable warmth radiating from Die’s body.

Pouting Shinya relaxed, placing his head on the pillow. From their position, the drummer could smell the scent of shampoo on Die’s hair and his cheeks flushed pink.

" I hate you," he said, brushing Die’s hair away from his closed eyes then placing a soft shy kiss on his forehead.

A wide smile appeared on Die’s face as he hugged Shinya tightly. "Yes and I love you too."